Is there anything more frustrating than an ungrateful child?

We fault the child, but the fault is with us. We overindulge and coddle our children. There's one more thing : we complain too much!

It's not easy raising kids in the West without extended family support. Many of us are working overtime and giving us cause for complaint.

But complaining in front of our children is a terrible example to set for them.

If you don’t want to deal with ungrateful kids, you may need to first get a handle on whatever it is that makes you want to complain. At the very least, try not to be verbal about it in front of your kids.

But if complaining is a habit for you, then you have to work on nipping it.

Assuming you’re not complaining in front of your kids, here's three things you can do to help your children develop a grateful outlook on life:

Zero Tolerance for Complaining

Do not allow your kids to get into the habit of complaining. If you have a child who is prone to complaining, you want to get on top of this habit and help him correct it. Complaining is a bad habit that molds our state of mind. If you aim to raise a content child, you have to help him break this negative mindset. 

No, No, and No

Say no to your children's wants. It's common to see children throwing tantrums in stores because the parent says no to something they want. Kids throw tantrums because they are used to getting what they want and because the parent has no control over them.

Don't be this parent. 

The general rule of thumb, according to John Rosemond, is to say no to 75 % of your children's wants and oblige them 25% of the time. 

Get your children into the habit of hearing "no". It's a matter of supply and demand. The greater supply of your “no’s”, the more valuable your yes’s will become. If you want to raise grateful kids, you have to learn to say “no” a lot and mean it.

Gratitude Ritual

Start an evening gratitude ritual. Before you read bedtime stories to your children, sit quietly in a circle and let each child take a turn expressing three things that he was grateful for that day.

You'll be amazed at the things your kids will say.

Warning: their list will not be replete with deep and meaningful expressions of gratitude.

They are kids!

Expect them to be thankful for little things, such as they got to ride their bike or visit a friend. Maybe they'll say they're grateful for you!

What they are grateful for isn't important; it's the act of reflecting on the blessings and stating them out loud that matters. You are helping your children to develop an attitude of gratitude.

It’s a good habit to acquire, too; one of focusing on the roses instead of the thorns.

And that makes all the difference.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

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Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

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