Most parents try to do what's best for their kids, but are we considering their total well-being?

Are we making decisions based on a holistic approach or just because something sounds good and everyone seems to be doing it? 

Stay with me because if you're not already thinking holistically, I know this will help you.

But before you read further, just for fun, stop for a minute and think about how you would define holistic and what the term means to you. 

What Does It Mean to Think “Holistically?” 

To think holistically is to understand that the parts make up the whole. For example, if one organ in the body is not functioning well, according to 7000 years of Chinese medical knowledge and recent Western research, the whole body is unhealthy.

With that in mind, how do we apply this concept of wholeness to our children?

When you're thinking about raising and educating your children, you want to think in terms of the parts of your child's being in relation to his or her whole being, and you want to think about maintaining the integrity of the parts in order to preserve the whole.

At this point you may be asking yourself what parts I’m speaking about.

The 4 Parts That Make Up A Child

There are four parts we must consider: the child’s physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual well-being. When we fail to think holistically about the decisions we make for our children, we can easily subject them to experiences in life that may seem beneficial for one part of their being, but may be detrimental to another and negatively affect the whole. 

Let's use the example of deciding whether or not to have your five-year-old child train in a specialized sport such as ice skating, hockey, or soccer to demonstrate how we might consider this from a holistic perspective.

On the surface, it seems like a great idea, right? Your child will get much-needed exercise, he or she will probably spend time outdoors, and your child will develop a valuable skill that may serve them well later in life.

However, we must look at the implications of early sports training on the non-physical parts of your child. 

Emotional Development

Probably, the most adverse affect will be on the emotional part. Sports typically played for fun in childhood become less and less about enjoyment and more and more about lessons, practice, and competition; it ceases to be play and becomes intense work.

When this happens, the benefits to child development through playing sports—such as building social skills, learning self-competency, and fostering empathy—are significantly reduced.

What used to boost confidence turns into a source of self-doubt. If your son's identity is based solely on how well he excels in his sport, he may begin to wonder, “Am I good enough?”

Eventually, negative consequences like these can cause children to burn-out and lose interest in the sport they specialized in.

In "The Elite Young Athlete: Strategies to Ensure Physical and Emotional Health," Todd Sabato, Tanis Walch, and Dennis Caine state,

"...reviews have found that intense physical activity performed at the elite level might instead compromise mental well-being, increasing symptoms of anxiety and depression through overtraining, injury, and burnout." 

As is evident by now, competitive sports training when too young is probably not a viable means for facilitating your child's emotional development.

Intellectual Development

Might early training in a specialized sport also have negative consequences for your child's intellectual development?

His time will go towards lessons, practice, and competitions leaving little time for intellectual pursuits other than the minimum of what school requires. 

And if your child ends up leaving his sport from an injury or burnout, what intellectual resources has he developed to sustain him in life ?

If you focus so intensely on your child's athletic performance, he probably won’t be reading Shakespeare, studying botany, or analyzing the defining moments of the Civil War when he’s older.

The potential for negative effects on his intellectual development because of an over emphasis on competitive sports may leave your child intellectually bankrupt as an adult. 

Spiritual Development

Lastly, let's take a glance at the spiritual side of things. At the heart of spiritual health is the ability to control oneself and one's emotions.

If your child does not have the foundation in place for learning  to self-regulate his own emotions—a foundation that is laid during early childhood—because of the emphasis on specialized training rather than unstructured play, he'll be at the mercy of his desires and passions all his life.

This deficiency of character produces individuals like Tiger Woods, who was brilliant at golf, but his lack of spiritual development and self-control sent a stellar career downhill almost overnight. 

There is one last quote by Joan Ryan I'd like to share with you from her book Little Girls in Pretty Boxes about elite girl athletes:

"The intensive training and pressure heaped on by coaches, parents, and federation officials—the very people who should be protecting the children—often result in eating disorders, weakened bones, stunted growth, debilitating injuries, and stunted psyches."

This is a hefty statement which covers the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of a child.

We can reasonably assume, with that long list, their intellectual learning suffered too.

More to Consider

This is a brief overview, not a definitive conclusion, but these should give you an idea of how to begin thinking about raising and educating your child from a holistic perspective.

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Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling