A friend sent me a telling article from the Guardian (UK newspaper) on home-education in the UK. Whether it's the UK, the USA, or Europe, it doesn't matter. Parents are parents and the concerns are similar.
I will say that while reading this article, I felt a little frustrated by what I was reading. With homeschooling, when it is thrust upon us from a lack of other options, it comes down to how we choose to look at it. Do we embrace the challenge or resist it?
So, here's what I'd say to the parents in this article if they had shared their concerns with me.
(The quotes are excerpted from the Guardian article.)
Julie
"My child had been struggling with the school environment from the start,” Julie said. “She’s autistic, has sensory difficulties, finds noise and lights difficult, but is academically clever. She found it so hard to navigate relationships with peers and her anxiety was so intense she was mostly mute at school.” —Julie
“Julie’s daughter, now nine, has been home educated since, an experience Julie describes as “distressing” due to her lack of knowledge about teaching and home learning, and a lack of support.” —Guardian
The Support I Offer Julie
Julie, why do you think you have no knowledge about teaching? You are your child's first teacher; you have been teaching her since the day she was born. All parents are teachers of their children.
While moving into academic teaching may seem daunting at first, there isn't anything during the elementary years that, with a few tools under our belts, we can't tackle. I agree that you need to know what you are doing, but there are resources available in the homeschooling community to give you the understanding and confidence to homeschool successfully.
An academically clever child is a joy to teach. If you have a child who is eager to learn, as you indicated your daughter is, then you are doing better than many parents whose children are plugged in and disengaged. Consider this a huge plus when homeschooling, because it makes your work so much easier.
As for support, if you join local homeschooling social groups for your children, you will also find companionship and support amongst the parents.
Mathew
“After the switch to secondary school he started having anxiety attacks that slowly escalated,” Matthew said. “They were mainly related to tests, homework demands, and managing expectations. The chaotic and uncertain environment of frequent supply teachers, constantly shifting timetables and bullying made it very difficult for him to cope.”
“Our son’s panic attacks have mostly disappeared, he’s gained confidence and has been making better progress academically, because we’ve been able to tailor the topics more closely to his interests and ability. But much of this success is down to the fact that we were both working as qualified teachers in the past. I worry about all the people in a similar situation who aren’t teachers, and don’t have understanding employers – mine has allowed me to work flexibly from home.”
Quelling Mathew’s Concerns
You did the right thing by removing your child from a distressing environment during the years when every experience is magnified and contributes to the formation of his character and personality. And I'm so happy to hear he is doing significantly better, though, I'm not surprised!
Mathew, while it's kind of you to be concerned about homeschooling parents who aren't certified as teachers, I would beg to disagree with you. Your success is not because you and your wife were former teachers; it’s because you are homeschooling.
Studies show that parents—whether professional teachers or not—are just as qualified to teach their children and do a very good job of it, and that children learn better at home. While being a professional teacher may give you a sense of confidence, initially, it really will make no difference in the long run.
Catherine
“Catherine, 50, a teacher from Brighton, who also said that she took her daughter, who has ASC [autism spectrum condition], out of school to avoid fines for poor attendance, is one of many parents who switched to online school.” —Guardian
“She started just on two subjects but now does a full eight and is choosing options for GCSEs. She’s engaged and enjoying her learning, it’s been wonderful.
It is a struggle financially, though. The online school costs £300 a month. I’m a single mum and had to give up working outside the home. I get by on whatever remote work I can find and benefits. I also worry that if my daughter wants to go to university or work in an office environment she will have had no exposure to that kind of thing.” —Catherine
Some Suggestions for Catherine
Catherine, your concerns are valid. Your daughter needs to be engaged in the real world with real people, so she can better develop the social and emotional aspects of her character and personality.
While sitting in front of a computer to learn may seem easier, it is not going to give her the tools she needs to function well in the world, especially if she is already struggling with an autism diagnosis.
It's much easier to homeschool using real books, it costs far less, and your daughter will have time for more social engagements, which will help her develop better social skills. As you said yourself, she needs to be engaged so when she is ready to go out on her own, she can manage.
The 300 sterling you save each month by getting her offline, you can put towards extra-curricular studies for your daughter, such as piano lessons, tennis lessons, or learning French.
Oh, one last thing, you mentioned you worked remotely. When you homeschool using real books, your daughter's homeschooling day is much shorter, too, so you will still have time to work.
Liza
“While many parents praised the advantages of online schooling, some were less convinced, among them 46-year-old Liza, from Walsall, who said her daughter had struggled with online lessons after she left school at the end of year 10 due to bullying.” —Guardian
“I’ve spent over £2,000 on tutors since September, and £1,000 so she can sit exams. She’s better now, however socially it’s been very hard. She’s very isolated, my husband and I both work full-time.” —Liza
An Idea for Liza
Liza, kudos to you for removing your daughter from the world of screen learning and back into the world of books.
I’m sorry about the tutoring expense, as it is a lot, but one of the things you might consider doing is to hire an undergrad college student instead of paying full price for a professional tutor. Also, can your daughter join any extra-curricular clubs for social interaction?
She does need to socialize, especially at her tender age, as friends are very important for teenagers.
Anonymous
“One parent, who wanted to stay anonymous, said they had taken their child out of year 6 last September because of unmet needs in school, and desperately hoped they would be able to return as soon as possible.” — Guardian
“The experience [of home education] is not great, my child is now struggling to leave the house and is missing out on socializing with peers. She’s too anxious to attend home education meet-ups. We need the correct support so she can attend school. It’s so unfair.” — Anon
My advice to anonymous
(I have to assume the child is in front of the computer all day because of the socialization issue)
Naturally, she will long for her peers because she has already established a relationship with them. This is a good sign because we know she is capable of establishing good social relationships, but she's probably become socially anxious because of the excessive screen-time use and lack of social contact.
My first plan would be to get her off the screens and get her learning with real books. You might consider starting a book club or some kind of a program in your home with other homeschooled children.
Instead of having to go out and meet people, your daughter could meet them while feeling safe at home. Once she gets used to socializing again and has a few new friends, she'll be better able to venture into new social situations without panicking or refusing to leave the house.
My Thoughts on This Article
What is concering to me is that as parents, we want what is best for our children, and we will do whatever it takes to provide it; yet, too many parents feel dis-empowered when it comes to their child's education.
After 22 years of working with parents of school-age children, I know that this mindset is not uncommon.
We have to remember that our children’s education can make or break them. Not a single government in the entire world is providing a sound education for children. It's up to us to make sure it happens.
Together, we can do it.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.
As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated. She also provides you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
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Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
