What Life Lessons Are You teaching Your Children?

What Life Lessons Are You Teaching Your Children?

Are you stopping long enough to reflect upon the messages you send your children through your words and actions—even the expressions on your face?

Because we each impact our children's understanding of themselves and the world they live in every single day by the way we show up for them.  

It’s easy to overlook this aspect of parenting, but it’s critical that we stay alert to our own shortcomings and do our best to correct them.

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

— Phyllis Diller

A common bad habit that 99% of us have is the habit of engaging with our phones too often.

Tell me if this scenario rings a bell: you hear your text go off, so you pick up your phone. A friend has texted you, so you text her back. You exchange a few texts and then your child asks you for something. But now you’re in the grip of your phone, so you tell your child you’ll be right there.

But you aren’t right there and now your child begins to whine. You start feeling annoyed with the child. Finally, you pull yourself away from your phone, but you’re annoyed that you couldn’t finish what you were doing.

Your child can feel you are irritated. And the beat goes on.  

Now let me ask you a question: wouldn't you throw your phone away in a heartbeat if you thought your child would look back to his childhood and see you as a parent who was glued to her smartphone?

Of course, you would.

And for your child, this translates into a belief about himself that his needs are not important enough to be met. He has adopted a belief about himself that isn’t true. And he’ll enter adulthood with the belief that his needs aren’t important, and he’ll be comfortable in relationships with people who ignore his needs.

Why? Because that’s what’s normal for him. That’s the world he grew up in and that world shaped his beliefs about himself, and it shaped his belief about the way he should be treated by others.

And this is what happens when the “few” minutes on our smartphones add up to hours and the hours add up to days and then weeks and then months. And, sadly, our kids will grow up to repeat the same pattern with their children. 

It’s the little things we do that add up to the big things which determine the quality of our parenting.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

— Aristotle

I'm not suggesting we should cater to our child's every whim but spending too much time on our phone, for example, is like sitting around watching television all day. 

Most of us would consider watching a lot of television negligent parenting because we know better. But somehow smartphones and other bad habits slip through the cracks, and we don't think twice about them. 

It's easy to go through the parenting years oblivious to ways that seem inconsequential at the moment but prove later to have hurt our children.

That’s why taking an inventory of our habits periodically will help us stay present to the way we show up for our kids. If we notice that we’ve developed a bad habit, such as using our phones too much, then we can take steps to correct it while our children are still young.

It’s not as difficult as it might sound.

The first step is to define the bad habit. Be specific. For example, if every time you have coffee in the morning, you pick up your phone, state it as such.

Next, decide on a new habit you can adopt to replace the old habit. In this case, decide that every morning when you have coffee you’ll read a book instead. Or maybe you’ll drink your coffee and be present to enjoying a quiet moment before the children wake up.

To avoid the urge to pick up your phone, the night before you want to put it out of sight and out of reach. Create obstacles that make it difficult to pick up your phone in the morning.

Decide on a time of day when you can look at your phone. Set a timer so you don’t find yourself hours later coming out of a virtual vortex.

Start with one bad habit, conquer it, and then choose another. The process of breaking a bad habit is always the same.

We will naturally become more effective parents if we become aware of the little things we do that add up to the big lessons we teach.

With this in mind, what bad habit would you like to conquer to become a better parent?

Don’t miss your free download:

10 Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of three unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years; the Smart Homeschooler Academy, educating children who are brilliant, happy, and well-socialized; and How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience guiding parents through the amazing journey of raising and educating their children.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

The 6 Purposes of Modern Schooling or Why Kids Never Grow Up

What is fundamentally wrong with school? Why is the world such a mess?

John Taylor Gatto answers this question for us. What follows is a short excerpt from his essay, as published in, Education’s Not the Point.

“Theorists from Plato to Rousseau knew well, and explicitly taught, that if children could be kept childish beyond the natural term, if they could be cloistered in a society of children, if they could be stripped of responsibility, if their inner lives could be starved by removing the insights of historians, philosophers, economists, novelists, and religious figures, if the inevitability of suffering and death could be removed from daily consciousness and replaced with the trivializing emotions of greed, envy, jealousy, and fear—then young people would grow older but they would never grow up.

In this way a great enduring problem of supervision would be decisively minimized, for who can argue against the truth that childish and childlike people are far easier to manage than accomplished critical thinkers.

With this thought in mind, you’re ready to hear the six purposes of modern schooling I found in Dr. Inglis’ book. The principles are his, just as he stated them nearly 100 years ago, some of the interpretive material is my own:

#1 Purpose

The first function of schooling is adjustive. Schools are to establish fixed habits of reaction to authority.

Fixed habits.

Of course this precludes critical judgement completely. If you were to devise a reliable test of whether someone had achieved fixed habits of reaction to authority, notice that requiring obedience to stupid orders would measure this better than requiring obedience to sensible orders ever could.

You can’t know whether someone is reflexively obedient until you can make them do foolish things.

#2 Purpose

Second is the diagnostic function. School is to determine each student’s proper social role, logging evidence mathematically and anecdotally on cumulative records.

“Boredom and childishness are closely allied with one another; those trapped in both states have no clear idea of what to do with time, no wisdom about priorities.”

— John Taylor Gatto

#3 Purpose

Third is the sorting function. Schools sort children by training individuals only so far as their likely destination in the social machine and not one step further.

So much for making boys and girls their personal best.

#4 Purpose

The fourth function is conformity. As much as possible, kids are to be made alike. As egalitarian as this sounds, its purpose is to assist market and government research, people who conform are predictable.

#5 Purpose

The fifth function Inglis calls “the hygienic function.” It has nothing to do with bodily health. It concerns what Darwin, Galton, Inglis, and many important names from the past and present would call, “the health of the race.”

Hygiene is a polite way of saying that school is expected to accelerate natural selection by tagging the unfit so clearly they will drop from the reproduction sweepstakes.

That’s what all those little humiliations from first grade onward, and all the posted lists of ranked grades are really about. The unfit will either drop out from anger, despair, or because their likely mates will accept the school’s judgement of their inferiority.

#6 Purpose

And last is the propaedutic function. A fancy Greek term meaning that a small fraction of kids will quietly be taught how to take over management of this continuing project, made guardians of a population deliberately dumbed down and rendered childish in order that government and economic life can be managed with a minimum of hassle.

There you have it. We don’t even need Karl Marx’s conception of a grand warfare between classes to see that it’s in the nature of complex management, economic or political, to require that most people be dumbed down, demoralized, divided from one another and from themselves, deprived of deep relationships, and discarded if they don’t conform.

The motives for the disgusting decisions which have to be made to bring these ends about don’t have to be class-based at all, they can stem purely from greed, or fear, or self-preservation.

All they require to perpetuate themselves across the years is a belief that efficiency is a paramount virtue, an absolute good rather than the virtue of machinery that it is.”

End of Excerpt

The facts John shares about the agenda behind modern schooling are accurate. He was a whistleblower who exposed compulsory schooling for what it is: a multi-purpose machine intended to dumb down your child and deprive him of any real meaning or fulfillment in his life.

This is no grand conspiracy theory; it is fact. I have checked many of the sources myself. Looking back on my own experiences in the public school system, they never made more sense to me than they did after reading John’s essay, The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling.

“When you spend some time watching schools, you gradually become aware of what childish places they are, that kids
and teachers are held prisoners there in a childhood they would willingly have left long ago, if they knew how, and if the institution had encouraged them to escape that dependent condition.”

— John Taylor Gatto

I entered kindergarten curious, bright, and eager to learn. 18 years later, I barely graduated form high school.

I was not alone.

And that’s why, when you look at the educational choices you have today, public school is not an option for any thinking parent. Homeschooling makes the most sense. Putting children into alternative schools that follow a modern model may be a little better, but not by much.

Children need one-on-one learning, they need a supportive learning environment, and they need the freedom and time to discover who they are.

Parents and teachers who are dedicated to helping the child develop a love of reading, learn how to think for himself, and become his very best could change the course of history.

Don’t miss your free download:

10 Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of three unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years; the Smart Homeschooler Academy, educating children who are brilliant, happy, and well-socialized; and How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience guiding parents through the amazing journey of raising and educating their children.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

Should My Child Learn Computer Programming?

(A thoughtful answer from a screen-cautious educator)

We are living in a time where the use of technology occupies us for hours each day, especially if we need to use it for work. 

Which makes many parents wonder if they should enroll their children in a computer programming course, so they are well-prepared for advancing in the modern world. 

The thing with computer use is that the younger generations instinctively know how computers work. I'm sure you've seen the typical scenario of a frustrated older person asking a younger person for help with something computer-related. 

The older generations have missed out on the collective understanding of computers that has infected the younger generations. Even though my children did not get computers until they were in college, when they did get them they instinctively knew how they worked. 

This astounded me. How could they figure things out in minutes when the same things would take me hours or days to figure out?

Because people over 50 missed the computer bug. Using a computer is not instinctive for us so we have to be taught how to do every little task!

When it comes to the question of enrolling your child in a computer programming course, your child will fare better if you wait. 

The reason is simple: the more we use computers to think for us, the less we develop our thinking muscles. With the deluge of AI, people who can think creatively and innovatively are going to be in demand soon because everyone else will have “brains of mush”, as one tech expert put it. 

And one of the keys to critical-thinking skills is reading.

Reading is critical for the young. Children who grow up with screens, regardless of the justification for it, are unlikely to become skilled readers. That’s not to say it’s impossible but to point out that you are gambling with your child’s future.

Think about this: have you ever visited a friend who has the television on? Everyone in the room will be talking, and then slowly each person gets pulled to the screen.

Screens put us in a trance-like state.

You must know what I mean; it's happened to me many times while traveling in foreign countries where it’s often the custom to keep the television on for background noise. 

A very weird custom. Why not turn on some background music instead of a mesmerizing screen? 

Anyway, my point is that if a child has to choose between using a screen and reading a book, he'll choose a screen because the screen has a magnetic pull on him. It’s difficult for us “knowing” adults to resist our own screens, so you can imagine how impossible it will be for your child.

If you want to raise a child for the future—as counter-intuitive as it sounds—keep him off of screens until the mid-teenage years and forget about the computer programming courses.

A well-chosen movie now and then is fine, but, for the most part, you want your kids engaged in life, using their minds, and learning all they can through books and real-life experiences.

Instead, give them great literature to read, homeschool them using sound methods, and watch them rise amongst the few who have well-formed minds and can think for themselves. 

Don’t miss your free download:

10 Books Every Well-Education Child Should Read

A “Could Not Live Without” Book!

Get a copy of Liz’s, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters, with groundbreaking Essays on educating your children by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of three unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years; the Smart Homeschooler Academy, educating children who are brilliant, happy, and well-socialized; and How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience guiding parents through the amazing journey of raising and educating their children.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

10 Habits to Teach Your Children Immediately→

Habits define our characters, according to Aristotle, and Aristotle was right. We are the sum total of our habits, and your children will be the sum total of their habits. 

The habits our children form will make their adulthood either more fruitful or less fruitful, more rewarding or less rewarding, more content or less content. 

All good habits are built upon one key habit: discipline, and the easiest time to learn discipline is in childhood.

Show me a person who can control his "passions" so they don't derail his long-term goals, and I’ll show you a person capable of accomplishing much in life. 

If you want to become a proficient musician, you must practice daily. If you want to be an educated person, you must study daily. If you want to be a kind person, you must act with kindness every day.

Having discipline means that we do these things even when we don’t feel like it because we want to reach our goals. It will be the same for your children.

Here are 10 ways you can help your children reach greater heights in life.

Habits in the Home

1. From toddlerhood, teach him to pick up his toys when he's finished playing with them. This is a habit that requires discipline, and it cannot be taught too early.

2. A 3-year-old should put his clothes in the dirty hamper and make his bed. He may need some help making his bed, and that’s okay. You want to get him into the habit of making it while he’s still very young.  

3. Train your children not to leave their things lying around the house. Everything has its place, and once you teach them where each place is, they should develop the habit of putting things away when their finished using them.

4. Age-appropriate chores should be given to each child and strictly enforced. This is not to be hard on your children but to teach them the habit of discipline. 

Before the children play, they should learn to do the things required of them. After work comes play.

This is how real life works, and the more your children understand the laws of living in the real world, the less of a shock they’ll have when they reach adulthood. 

The Habits of Health

5. Daily exercise. No matter how young your child is, learning to be active will pay off in great dividends later by way of good health. You don't want to be the parent who is pushing a 6-year-old around in a stroller.

Teach your kids to walk long distances by taking them out walking from an early age. Toughen them up a bit because you have to be tough to get through life with your "heart" intact.

The more people can endure physically, the more they can endure mentally, at least that’s been my observation. 

6. Raise your children on healthy foods so they develop a taste for and the habit of eating real food. A healthy diet is critical to good health.

One of my notable parenting mistakes took place around food. On nights when I was too tired to cook, my go-to was "organic" boxed macaroni and cheese. At some point, I realized I had never made my children real macaroni and cheese, so I made them some.

And horrors of all horrors, they preferred the boxed stuff. So I quit buying it.

Social Skills in the Making

7. Teach your children to look at others when they are in a conversation. With the deluge of screens in children's lives, kids are growing up with anti-social skills and often look off to the side or look downward when speaking to someone.

Looking at a person is not only respectful, but it also shows them that you are listening. 

8. Do not let your children interrupt you or anyone else. It's rude and disrespectful. Besides, your children need to develop the skill of listening.

People are distracted by screens and struggle to focus. No, there isn't an ADHD epidemic: it's an epidemic of "limp" focus muscles. Developing good listening skills will help your children to build their focus muscles.

9. When you have guests in your home, teach your children to greet them courteously. My brother Troy was in Mississippi, which is known as the "Hospitality" state, and he said that a person would greet everyone in the shop upon entering, workers and guests alike.

Today, it's common to walk into someone's home and have their children act like they don't see you. Not Mississippians, that's for sure!

10. Raise your children to think of the needs of others first. I know this goes against the "me first" world we are living in, but that's because we've got it all backwards.

The "me first" attitude has produced nothing but misery. Helping other people in need brings us joy, so teach your children to be in the habit of offering to help and helping graciously when it is asked of them. 

For example. You may want to read but your book is in the other room, so you ask one of your children to fetch it for you.

It's for their benefit that you make the request of them, because you are helping them develop the habit of graciously helping others. 

Each one of these 10 habits will help your children develop a disciplined approach to life, and discipline is a far-reaching character trait that will take them far.

Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not homeschool without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of three unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years; the Smart Homeschooler Academy, educating children who are brilliant, happy, and well-socialized; and How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience guiding parents through the amazing journey of raising and educating their children.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

A Simple Strategy to Raise a Child Who Shines

Often as busy parents trying to keep up in a frenzied world, the last thing we seem to have time for is reminding our young children to put their shoes away, pick up their toys, or make their beds.

Yet, this is precisely the time to teach our children these things. If we don't teach them good habits now, we will inadvertently teach them bad habits they will struggle with later.

Often times these struggles become a lifetime’s.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

— Aristotle

I have a friend who told me that from a very young age his mother taught him, over and over again, to fold his bath towel and hang it up after he used it.

Eventually, said friend learned to fold his towel without thinking about it. It had become a rock-solid habit.

As an adult, he told me that his wife loved how he always left his towel neatly folded and hanging on the towel rack. The right habits will even help our children become better spouses!

Good habits are the foundation of our characters; our characters are built upon good habits. Therefore, when we help our children form the right habits, we are also helping them in developing good character traits.

We want to raise children who shine; who are bright lights in a world that seems to have lost its way.

Arguably, one of the most difficult but important aspects of parenting is consistency. We have to have the habit of being diligent! I always tell people my favorite perk to homeschooling was educating myself, and it is the same thing with parenting.

The more we improve our own habits, the better positioned we are to help our children develop habits that support them in fulfilling their dreams in life.

While we guide our children on the path of becoming their very best, we get to work on becoming our very best too.

One habit you might think about developing now because it will have a huge impact on your child’s level of education is a reading habit. When children see us read, they’ll read too.

The more they read, the more they learn. The more they learn, the smarter they become.

“Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.”

— ― Mark Twain

Another habit might be the habit of discipline. Discipline is easily taught when children develop a skill over time, such as playing a musical instrument or becoming an advanced player of a sport. Learning a foreign language takes discipline too.

It can also be taught by doing daily chores. Anything a child has to do on a regular basis that he might not always feel like doing will help him develop discipline.

Good habits take time to develop, but once established, they make life a whole lot easier, happier, and more rewarding!

Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

Are You Focusing on the Wrong Goals for Your Children?→

A primary concern parents often share with me is whether or not they will fail their children by homeschooling them. But there's a more tangible concern lurking here, and that concern is whether or not their children will be able to get into a good college. 

If we don’t ask the right questions, we won’t get the right answers. So, let’s look at the college question a little differently.

What if we asked this question instead: what do the top colleges look for when choosing their students? Once we know the answer to this question, then we can ask the next question: how do we educate our children to meet this criteria?

What John Taylor Gatto Had to Share

To answer the former question, I'm going to repeat what John Taylor Gatto once shared at an education conference I hosted for him.

He said that he once asked a Harvard admissions officer what they looked for when deciding who to accept into their college. The officer replied that they looked for two things:

1. Applicants that they believed would become rich

2. Applicants they believed would become famous

Their reasoning was that these students—once they become rich or famous—would donate generously to the college because private colleges rely largely on endowments to survive.

For example, as of 2024, Harvard has an endowment of 53 billion. 

The Next Question

So the next question to ask is what qualities would these applicants need to achieve future financial success or fame? 

To answer this question, I looked at the traits of the rich and the famous to see which traits were in both groups. Here's what I discovered: in both groups, being a visionary and non-conformist as well as having courage, resilience, and perseverance were present. 

Which poses a third question: if these qualities are what the top colleges look for, then how do I raise my children to have these qualities? 

Do you get the idea? Instead of focusing on the goal of getting our children into a good college, let’s focus on educating children that a good college would want to choose.

For sure, we can say that a top college does not want a student who’s had a “cookie-cutter” education!

Whether our children decide to go to a top college or not is up to them, I think, but we want to educate them to have that option, if they should choose it. Here’s how we’ll do it:

1. Expand the Mind

Raise your children to love reading and to read difficult literature. We gain a lot of understanding, knowledge, and insight from reading.

The more your children can expand their minds, the more they have to draw from so they can connect unrelated things to birth new ideas. Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, and Bill Gates—innovators of the postmodern world—were readers. 

Ask yourself this, can a child who doesn’t enjoy reading, and therefore doesn’t read, become well-educated?

We underestimate the value of reading in a good education when we fail to give it its fair due.

2. Training in Good Habits

Train your children in the habits of perseverance and resilience. Perseverance means that we learn to continue the course of something until we complete it.

Resilience means that we spring back in the face of failures, mistakes, or disappointments. The easiest way is to refrain from coddling your children. 

Exercise tough love with your kids and have high expectations of them because they are capable of great things. I don't mean that you should be harsh with your children, but when you see them struggling with something they are trying to do, resist the urge to quell their frustration.

The struggle is part of the learning process that will allow them to reach their goal. Your children need to learn that struggling while they are trying to reach a goal is normal. If they don't learn to accept the struggle and inevitable failures, they will learn to be quitters. 

3. Embracing the Original

We learn to disregard our common sense and gut feelings because we are conditioned in school to become good conformists. We are not born this way. 

Each child is a unique individual; they stand alone as a pure original, like a Monet painting or a work of Mozart. But the school system is not designed to address a child's uniqueness. It is designed to raise sheep who are easy to manage and control. 

This idea of controlling the masses goes back to Ancient Greece; it is nothing new, and you shouldn't be surprised by it. Given the history of the world, it appears to be a fact of life.

Raising Non-Conformists

To raise non-conformists be respectful of your children's ideas, thoughts, and concerns so they gain self-confidence in their unique way of thinking.

Support them in believing in themselves because non-conformists are not necessarily rebellious people, but they are people who see things from their unique perspective, and they trust what they see.

They are not afraid to act on their visions either; they are people of courage. 

Therefore, raise your children outside of the system, if possible. Homeschooling is your best option because you can tailor your children's education to meet their unique needs and interests and help them to develop the aforementioned traits.

What You Mustn’t Ignore

Lastly, keep your children away from devices with screens. Screen use will interfere with all of the above and undermine your efforts to raise exceptional children. 

If you can succeed in raising non-conformists, children who love reading, who are persistent and resilient,—and I believe that with the right tools you can—then enrollment into a good college will become a natural consequence.

A New Perspective

Rather than worry about failing our children, why not put our focus on discovering how to raise and educate a child with the qualities the top colleges look for, because these are the qualities that will lead them to experience more fulfilling and productive lives. 

My Story

I'll leave you with a brief story about my children. When my children were accepted into colleges that impressed my friends and family, I began to receive congratulations for my homeschooling success. 

I felt guilty because I had nothing to do with the college acceptance process, literally. I didn't homeschool my children with college in mind! I just did the best job I could do given my circumstances, which weren't always easy.

So when I received congratulations for their success in getting into good colleges, it felt undeserving. 

But my friends and family insisted on congratulating me, and that's when I realized that congratulations were certainly due, at least in part.

I had raised and educated children who had the vision, the confidence, and the determination to get into a good college. I could take credit for this, but the rest of the credit went to my children.

Alleviating the Pressure

Whether you have dreams of your children going to a particular college, the truth is that the quality of your children's character will determine more about their future happiness and success than which college they go to. 

And once you really get this, it will take a lot of pressure off of you because you will never have to worry about "failing" your children, you only have to concern yourself about raising and educating them in the best way possible.

Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

My Children Were Easy to Teach: Here's My Secret…

When parents tell me they struggle to get their children to do their lessons, there’s usually one of three possible scenarios at play:

1. The child's curiosity has not been nurtured properly.

2. The parent has not established the correct parent/child relationship.

3. The child was in preschool or kindergarten before being homeschooled.

Sometimes it's a combination of all three, but let's focus on the latter possibility because this is where I see a lot of parents go wrong. It is also what I did not do that contributed to my children being so easy to teach. 

I did not put my children into outside programs prior to homeschooling them. It was as simple as that but it made all the difference.

DISADVANTAGES TO LEAVING HOME AT EARLY AGES

When we put our children into daycare, preschool, and kindergarten programs, we not only interrupt the rhythm of our homes, but we also weaken our bonds with our children and undermine our relationship as their teacher. 

CONNECTION

When it comes to the bonds we forge with our children, think about the people in your life that you're the closest to. It's usually because you shared a common interest and spent a lot of time together that fostered your close relationship.

We naturally become closer to the people we spend the most time with.

Think of the times that you are separated from your children. Maybe you and your spouse went away for the weekend or your children spent a week with their grandparents.

Upon reuniting, there is always that sense of separation looming overhead, and it takes a few hours to get back into the rhythm of living together.

When you add up all of the hours that a child spends in school, it’s no wonder that the family bonds weaken, as Gaber Mate delineates in his book, Hold Onto Your Kids.

Being connected to and strongly bonded with our children is not a given. It comes from time spent together too. It isn't something that happens by virtue of having children; it's a relationship that's earned.

As our children grow, and as our time together increases, the bond we share grows too.

The more time we share together, the stronger that bond grows, which is why homeschooled children tend to have stronger bonds with and feel more connected to their families than schooled children. 

FIRST TEACHERS

We are also the first teachers of our children. From the minute they are born, we are teaching them how to be civilized human beings. They watch us like hawks, and they copy what we do. As they mature, we help them learn to walk, talk, and ride a bicycle. 

They see us as all-knowing, and they look to us for guidance.

 However, when we put our children into outside programs, we hand the role of teacher to a stranger, and our children begin to see that stranger as the "teaching" authority, not us.

So when it comes time to homeschool our children, we need to reclaim our teaching role. Until we succeed, our children may not respond to us as readily as they would have had we kept them at home. 

TRANSITION TO HOMESCHOOL

When we keep our children home with us, homeschooling becomes a natural transition from instructing them in how to tie their shoes to one plus one makes two.

Children who are free to explore, experiment, and take risks are much easier to teach than children who are put into programs and told what to do and when to do it. 

If we do put our children into daycare, preschool, or kindergarten, depending upon how long they were in said programs and how much academic work was expected of them, they may have lost some of their curiosity and desire to apply their minds to learn new things.

Without a desire to learn, it can be challenging to teach a child. 

TEACHING VERSUS LEARNING

Learning is an action. What we do as teachers is provide instruction, but it is the child who must do the learning. During their early years, instead of enrolling them in programs outside the home, we want to facilitate our children in continuing to use their minds.

I use the word "continuing" because children come into the world with active minds, and their minds learn to work harder and take on bigger challenges when we allow them childhoods that facilitate the continuation of this development. 

My children were always eager to learn, and the parents I work with raise children who love learning too. When our children hit their teens, we might get some rebellious behavior, which is natural, but our children are not difficult to teach. 

My children were inquisitive, creative, and strong. They knew they could tackle any problem and figure out how to solve it.

The idea of being able to teach oneself, as Dorothy Sayers said, is a goal of a solid education. It's also an attitude all well-homeschooled children will adopt—the belief in their ability to learn anything. 

If you want homeschooling to be a seamless transition from informal learning (how to tie a shoe) to formal academic learning (reading, writing, computing), then don't enroll your children in outside programs! 

They don't need them. 

Buy them shoes with laces instead and teach them how to tie their shoes. When they are a little older, teach them how to read. 

Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition, modern research, and experience, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of three unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years; the Smart Homeschooler Academy, educating children who are brilliant, happy, and well-socialized; and How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience guiding parents through the amazing journey of raising and educating their children.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

3 Reasons to Raise Your Children in a Bubble

Our children, as you know, are impressionable. The things impressed upon them when young are difficult, if not impossible, to erase later.

One of the advantages when homeschooling is that we get to raise our children in a bubble, something I'm pretty sure Socrates would approve of. 

“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.”

— Henry Adams

We can choose to expose our children to the kind of literature, people, and experiences that will model the behavior we want them to embody as adults. When we do this, they get the kind of impressions when young that lead to happy lives when grown. 

#1 The Quality of Literature Matters

Reading quality literature is critical too. When we read stories about virtuous people and unethical people, and the righteous people win in life and the wretched people don't, your children are learning that happiness comes with goodness.

The ancient Greeks taught us this many centuries ago, and fortunately, modern psychology has caught up with the past. 

We can all agree now, I hope, that goodness leads to happier lives! 

Another thing the ancient Greeks taught us is that when we normalize unsavory behavior in our children’s lives, such as letting them read the wrong kind of literature or watch the wrong kind of films, our children are more inclined to excuse it in themselves.

#2 The Quality of Company Matters

When choosing the families you decide to surround your family with while raising your children, choose families who share your values and beliefs, whatever they are. We influence one another just by being in each other's company, and our children are influenced too. 

“I hold that a strongly marked personality can influence descendants for generations.”

— Beatrix Potter

If you have friends who have qualities that you admire, raise your children to be close to them. As adults, my children will visit my friends, even when I'm out of town! Of course, now they are "our" friends, but I love that my children have close relationships with so many good people. 

Friends who have special talents, such as musicians, poets, and artists, or friends who are skilled professionals, such as lawyers, doctors, and writers, may not only influence your children, but they may inspire one of them to follow the same path. 

Sometimes we overlook the little things, but it's those little things, such as what books we read to our children, what friends we keep, and what environments we create, that make the biggest differences for who our children grow up to become. 

That's why often you'll see that parents who are intellectuals will raise children who are intellectuals, athletes will raise children who are athletes, and artists will raise children who are artists.

#3 The Quality of the Environment Matters

Environment matters more than we may realize. If our children are surrounded by books, they'll read; if they are surrounded by sports equipment, they'll play sports; if they are surrounded by live music in the home, they'll play an instrument.

I didn't understand these things when my children were young like I understand them now, but I was fortunate in that I come from a big family. My children grew up in the company of intellectuals, artists, musicians, writers, lawyers, entrepreneurs, teachers, gourmet cooks, and sportsmen of all kinds.

My children had a lot of great influences in their childhoods, and that's exactly what you want for your children. If you don't have the luxury of coming from a big family with a lot of varied interests and skills, then seek those people out and welcome them into your family’s life.

Against the Bubble Argument

When I was homeschooling, I remember a neighbor complaining to me that I was raising my children in a bubble, and when my children grew up, they would not know how to function in the world.

“I am a thousand times better: I am an honest woman, and as such I will be treated.”

— Charlotte Bronte, Shirley

Well, they grew up and proved that person wrong. So will yours. Protect your children’s innocence for as long as you can, raise them on quality literature and surround them with excellent people.

Keep an engaging but pristine environment for them and then sit back and watch them blossom into grown people with whom you feel grateful to have in your life.

Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

Is Decision Fatigue Impacting Homeschoolers?→

According to some theorists, it could be. As parents and homeschoolers, we need every ounce of energy we have, so squandering our energy on making trivial decisions is not something we willingly do. However, according to some theorists, we are doing just that, otherwise known as "decision fatigue."

Did you know that the average person makes 35,000 decisions in a single day? That sounds unbelievable, doesn't it? 35,000 decisions in one day! And I bet, as homeschoolers, we make even more.

After making so many decisions throughout our day, we begin to experience decision fatigue. When decision fatigue kicks in, the quality of our decisions starts to plummet. Whether we are making little or big decisions is irrelevant; what matters is that we are making decisions.

The Steve Job’s Strategy

You probably know that Steve Jobs wore black T-shirts because he didn't want to waste his energy deciding what to wear each day.

He wanted to save his decision-making energy for the things that really mattered, such as should the Apple logo face up or down on the back of the computer, or should Apple come out with a new iPhone in one year or two years?

And Mark Zuckerberg wears grey T-shirts.

As women, I'm not sure if we can fathom wearing the same color shirt every day, but we can take stock of where our energy is going and preserve more of it for the important decisions we'll need to make.

The Important Decisions

Maybe you are considering whether or not to enroll your daughter in a swimming class during the family dinnertime, or whether or not your children should learn French or Spanish.

Hey, these are big decisions too, as we are making decisions that impact our children's intellects and characters, decisions that influence who they grow up to become in adulthood. 

Quite frankly, our decisions are a heck of a lot more important than which way Apple faces its logo, wouldn't you agree?

Never underestimate the value of each decision you make for your children, because it's the little things that eventually become the big things; hence, the little things matter just as much, even though it may not appear to be that way.

That’s why, we want to do our best to make the right decisions. In making better decisions, we want to consider two things: making fewer trivial decisions and making better quality decisions.

Decision-Making Strategy #1

To avoid trivial decision-making so that we can save our energy for the bigger decisions we'll need to make throughout the day, we can practice the simple habit of automating our tasks. 

To begin the automation process, you want to pay attention to your morning and note the myriad of decisions you'll need to make, such as how to spend the wee part of your morning before your kids wake up, what time you want your children to wake up, who's going to wear what, what will be on the breakfast menu, and who will wash the breakfast dishes. 

That's a very short list of the many decisions we make before the clock even strikes noon. Now that you have your list of decisions, you can then automate them by deciding one time how all these events will take place. 

Create a morning plan, a meal plan, and a wardrobe plan, and you will have fewer decisions to make. 

Before you go to sleep the night before, know what your morning plan is, know what your children's morning plan is, know what you will prepare for breakfast, and definitely know what you are going to wear the next day (hopefully not black or grey tees!).

Automate as much decision-making in the morning hours so your mind is freed up and you can conserve more energy for the rest of the decisions you will need to make that day.

Desision-Making Strategy #2

Another factor to consider is the quality of your decisions. When we are tired, we are more likely to make poorer quality decisions because we have less self-control, so we may say yes to the ice cream man when he comes around the block or to the chocolate cake we swore to ourselves that we would not eat.

THE DEBATE

We may also struggle to make a decision, weighing two options back and forth and back and forth, only to later regret the choice we made.

THE AVOIDANCE

We may even postpone making decisions altogether. The avoidance strategy will rob you of even more energy as you now have the decision taking up space in the back of your mind and tapping on your conscience every so often to remind you that there is still a decision to be made.

Ideally, if we can become aware of our energy levels in relation to the importance of a decision we have to make, rather than ignore the decision we have to make, we can learn to intentionally postpone the bigger decisions for the next day when we will hopefully be refreshed and able to think more clearly. 

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.”

— Theodore Roosevelt

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” Theodore Roosevelt

We all know that moment when a friend asks us to do something, such as go out to dinner or meet for coffee, but we know we don't have time to accommodate her. However, we're tired when she asks us, and we say yes anyway, only to regret it later.

This one little tactic of postponing making decisions until you are refreshed will lead to better quality decisions and less regret in life. 

Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

Top Tip For End-of-Year Homeschool Success→

You may be feeling pressured because you haven't taught your children some things you wanted them to know by now, and the end of the homeschool year is beginning to appear on the horizon. 

Maybe they are a little behind according to your language arts schedule, or you haven't yet gotten to some math concepts. If this is you, then I understand. It happened to me, too. 

My Maxim

One maxim I kept in mind while homeschooling is that knowledge is seemingly infinite, and no one person will ever be able to know everything under the sun. 

Plus, as more and more decades and centuries pass, the more discoveries, innovations, and original contributions there are for the current occupants of planet earth to learn.

So where does this leave us as homeschoolers? Well, we can breathe a sigh of relief because as long as our children are learning at full capacity, i.e., we are doing our job as homeschoolers, then they should be developing the skills and knowledge they'll need to function well in life. 

Which is why homeschooling your child is so amazing. When done right, we can help our children to reach their full potential physically, emotionally, neurologically, and intellectually.

“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness, but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.”

— Plato

We can raise "whole" children instead of children being "educated" from the fragmented pedagogy of the public schools.

By "fragmented" I mean that the needs of the whole child are not taken into consideration, and most schooled children never come close to reaching their full potential and becoming their very best.

I know I didn't, which is why I felt so strongly about homeschooling my children and helping other parents to homeschool their children too. You may have similar feelings about your own educational experience.

For example, in terms of academic learning, proficiency rates in literacy alone for public school eighth graders are 30%, and for math they are 28%. How sad to send children away for 12 years to spend 8 hours a day, five days a week in a system designed to dumb them down when they could do and become so much more.

And let’s not forget the collective cost of creativity and innovation and the many things that will never come into existence because so many children never had a chance to fulfill their potentials in life.

“Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation.”

— Walter Cronkite

But let's not breathe too great a sigh of relief yet because surely any homeschooler can beat these statistics with a little effort. But if you are reading this, then, like me, you probably want much more for your children than just trying to match or improve a little upon what children are getting in the public schools. 

We want to educate them to the best of their ability while preserving their uniqueness. 

Maybe, like my daughter, one of your children will become fascinated with the relationships between the European monarchs prior to WW1 and take a deep dive into their lives. Or, like my son, you have a child who is taken by the nobility and courage of the Native American tribes and takes a deep dive into their stories. 

Your children's education will be tailored to their interests, so the development of their minds is unique to that which inspires, motivates, and supports them in living more fulfilling lives because now they can live lives that are in alignment with who they are in their being.

Which follows that what they "know" or don't know then becomes particular to their individual interests, desires, and aptitudes.

While this is true, many homeschooling parents still fall into the trap of comparing their children to schooled children or even to other homeschooled children. 

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

— Mark Twain

That's why, given the vast amount of knowledge that exists, it helps to remember that what children learn in school is to some degree arbitrary. 

There are basic skills all schoolchildren are taught, such as reading, writing, and computing. But what episodes or figures in history a child studies, or what literature and art they are exposed to, or what concepts in science they learn is decided upon by the individual school boards. 

As long as you have a solid plan for your children and you are staying on schedule, give or take a few revisions or bumps in the road, then it will only cause you unnecessary stress to worry about whether or not your children know the same things as their peers, either homeschooled or schooled. 

Because your children's peers and schooled peers  will never know the same things your children know either.

As my son said to me the other day, no two people ever read the exact same books, which means that we all have different libraries floating around inside of our heads that impact us, inspire us, and guide us on our journey through life. 

Your Best End-of-Year Position

The best stance you can take as the end of the year draws nearer is to remember that whatever your children know is what they know, and that's enough for now. 

If you do feel a little more work is needed during the summer, then why not? There are no hard and fast rules with homeschooling other than to understand the educational journey we aspire towards and to become the best homeschooling parent you can be.

It's pretty simple when you think about it!

A funny memory of mine took place when my daughter's friend (of the same age) asked her what grade she would be in the following year. My daughter said that she would be in seventh grade. 

But her friend, whose mother was an engineer and loved teaching math (I didn't love it!), knew that my daughter had not learned a certain concept in math, and so her friend stated that she didn't think my daughter was ready for the seventh grade.

My daughter, being highly offended, said to her friend very firmly, "I know what I know, and I'm going into the seventh grade!" 

A True Homeschooler

I'll leave you with that note, because this is exactly how homeschooled children think. You can even make it your end-of-the-year mantra: they know what they know!

It's a statement that holds true for each of us. We know what we know, and no two people will ever know exactly the same combination of things in life.

That's some of what makes us unique and what we get to celebrate in our children because we homeschool them. 

Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

Ace Homeschooling with One Simple Tactic

Are you having a good time homeschooling your children? If not, you may be missing the main ingredient, which will make you a better teacher, your children will learn more, and everyone will have a lot more fun.

Learning with Your Children

The key to successful homeschooling is that we moms need to be learning too!

If you are under the impression that you can plop your children in front of a computer without creating an atmosphere that imbibes the joy of learning, then you've been terribly misled.

The greatest teachers love learning, and they impart this love to their students. From what I've seen over the years, the moms who enjoy homeschooling the most are learning alongside their children, and their children are curious and enjoy learning too. 

Children who experience the joy of learning are going to learn more, and therefore, they'll become better educated. 

With all due respect to the hard-working homeschooling moms, many moms are not giving their children the kind of education that nurtures the child's love of learning. 

THE PROBLEM

Some moms are doing public school at home or putting their kids into virtual schools using public school funding. These programs are substandard—as studies show— and lack the joy that comes from learning with quality books coupled with real-life experiences. 

Nor do these methods leave much room for you to get into the exciting trenches of learning with your children. 

Something to consider is why we would enroll our kids in a government-funded program when the government failed to give us an adequate education. That would be like hiring a person who's just filed for bankruptcy to give us financial advice. 

“Although teachers to care and do work very, very hard, the institution is psychopathic — it has no conscience. It rings a bell and the young man in the middle of writing a poem must close his notebook and move to a different cell where he must memorize that humans and monkeys derive from a common ancestor.”

— John Taylor Gatto

If our government failed us—gauging by our declining literacy rates—they'll fail our children too.

Rather than use government-funded "homeschooling" programs, you can homeschool independently and have great fun teaching your children from quality books, and you can learn beside them.

That's where one of the great perks of homeschooling lies; in giving ourselves the education our government failed to give us.

Just Say No!

But just how easy is it to turn down the government funds you receive for enrolling your children into its programs? First, let me ask you this: If something were that good, would an organization have to pay people to take it?

Without getting into corporate politics, let's just say that whoever or whatever benefits from your children's enrollment knows that it is worth the cost of paying you to join these programs. 

Because whatever they pay you, the "gainers" are scoring a lot more than what they give. As the saying goes, "Follow the money." 

I knew someone with five children who received 10K per year to homeschool! Now that is difficult to turn down, but not when you understand the hidden costs.

Hidden Cost #1

Let's keep our vision in sight. I'm going to presume that at least one of your goals in homeschooling your children is to give them a better education.

Two very different methods of homeschooling, such as public school curriculum and virtual schools versus real-book learning with hands-on experiences, cannot produce the same results.

“Children learn what they live. Put kids in a class and they will live out their lives in an invisible cage, isolated from their chance at community; interrupt kids with bells and horns all the time and they will learn that nothing is important or worth finishing; ridicule them and they will retreat from human association; shame them and they will find a hundred ways to get even. The habits taught in large-scale organizations are deadly.”

— John Taylor Gatto

One MUST be better than the other. 

We know that the public schools are not producing graduates who can read, write, and compute well, and we know that schoolchildren are still behind in math and language arts after the online learning madness of Covid.

We know that there is enough research now to show just how ineffective online learning programs really are. Here's an excerpt from a study conducted about online learning during Covid, which is not unusual in its findings:

“Remote learning has also negatively affected children’s cognitive and academic performance throughout all age groups (Colvin et al., 2022). Standardized assessments during and after obligatory confinement have revealed students’ difficulties meeting grade expectations, particularly in schools with less in-person class time (Colvin et al., 2022).

Specific academic difficulties have been reported in mathematics, language, and reading skills. More than 1.5 million students from across the United States exhibited worse performance in mathematics and reading scores compared with the previous academic year (Colvin et al., 2022).”

— Colvin et al., 2022

Hidden Cost #2

You may believe that you need the government to monitor your homeschooling progress and therefore give you a sense of security; I would encourage you to reconsider this belief.

The homeschooling movement took root because parents were homeschooling independently of the government and doing a better job than the government schools were doing. There is no reason that you can't be one of these parents too.

The government standards for our children are so low that you couldn't possibly do a worse job unless you tried to. And homeschooling independently is less stressful than having a government employee check up on you once a month to "evaluate" your children's progress. 

Children should not be subject to "evaluations." If you are teaching your children consistently using a sound curriculum, your children will learn the things they need to learn. You may have to adjust your curriculum a little so your children meet state or country requirements, but that's easy enough to do. 

I would encourage you to muster up a little confidence to homeschool independently for the sake of your children. So many homeschoolers have come before you and homeschooled successfully without the government's intrusion into their family's life.

It was these pioneer families that set the educational standards for homeschoolers that we should work to uphold, not turn our backs on.

Hidden Cost #3

Excessive screen use, as is the case with virtual schools, is likely to do damage to your child's development, according to many studies. Damage may include a sedentary lifestyle, which results in health issues, such as obesity leading to early heart disease or myopia leading to early eye diseases.

It may also cause the inability to regulate the emotions leading to behavioral issues, or the inability to develop good social skills leading to relationship issues and difficulty making friends.

There are also the cognitive issues to consider, such as falling behind their peers and losing the love of learning and curiosity. 

As time goes on, more and more studies will come out with the same disturbing results. It seems prudent of us to protect our children now rather than wait for the evidence to get so bad that it can no longer be ignored. Frankly, looking at the state of young adults today, we are there.

To quote a young person I spoke to recently:

“People my age live in a virtual world. They don’t listen to live music, watch plays, go to the opera, or read literature—they live in front of their screens.”

If you don't want your child to fit the above description, you have to be proactive and begin to do things differently—these are choices we make now that will have a lasting impact upon the quality of our children's lives. 

While this next subject is not a hidden cost, it is worth discussing. 

THE REAL COST OF HOMESCHOOLING

Many parents with whom I've spoken to over the years have told me that they joined the government programs to get the payout offered, and they use this money to purchase curricula and extracurricular activities for their children.

As far as curricula are concerned, homeschooling does not have to be expensive. All you have to do is buy one curriculum per year, and then you will pass the books on to your younger children. You may have to replace a few workbooks each year, but that's it.

If you are on a very tight budget, you can buy second-hand books too. There are plenty of resources for good curricula books if you conduct a search online, network with your local homeschooling group, or patronize used bookstores.

EXTRA-CURRICULAR VS. FREE TIME

Regarding extra-curricular activities, your children don't need a lot of them. Children will benefit more from free time during their day than they will from attending several extra-curricular classes.

And you certainly don't need to be driving all over town playing chauffeur because it will take time and energy, and you will feel overwhelmed. Once overwhelm sets in, it's easy to experience homeschooling burnout, which will have a negative impact on you and your children. 

While a class in the arts, sports, or a foreign language is encouraged, if money is an issue, then bartering with other homeschooling parents is a way you can avoid paying course fees.

Another way is to teach a group of children something you are good at and to get paid for it. With the money you earn, you can afford to enroll your children in additional classes.

In my 24 years of experience, homeschooling with real books and keeping yourself independent from any government programs is less stressful, more rewarding, and a lot more fun for you and your children.

Real-life skills and books aplenty! 🎈

Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your children by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

Unleash Your Child's Potential Through Creativity→

Did you know that 98% of children have imaginations in the realm of genius? By the time they reach adulthood, however, that number drops to 2%—why?

At the risk of sounding redundant, school is the culprit. 

NASA funded a study to discover the most creative people in their organization so they could give them the biggest problems to solve. The researchers themselves got interested in the idea of creativity, and they wondered where it came from.

These researchers had the brilliant idea to give the adult creativity test they had devised for the NASA employees to young children, and the above numbers are what they discovered.

School knocks the creativity right out of our children—their innate genius, usually gone forever. 

The late Sir Ken Robinson built a career on the subject of creativity and how we could foster it, not only in schools but also in the workplace. He said, “Sometimes getting away from school is the best thing that can happen to a great mind.”

Leonardo da Vinci had a great mind. He has been known mostly for his artwork, but he also dreamed up many inventions; such as the flying machine, weapons of war, work tools, and water systems. Clearly, da Vinci was a man with an unusually creative mind, a genius. 

In 2024, 70% of employers said that creativity is the most in-demand skill. We have a dearth of creativity in our adult population because most children no longer experience wholesome childhoods, and then—to add insult to injury—we enroll them in preschools and schools at too early of an age.

Rather than nurture our children's creativity, we are being advised to put them into environments that inadvertently squash it.

“In some urban centers, the competition is so intense for places in the “right” kindergartens that children are being interviewed—for kindergarten. What are the interviewers looking for, evidence of infancy?”

— Sir Ken Robinson

Is anyone to blame for this apparent lunacy? Who knows, nor does it matter. What does matter is that we understand what is happening to our children so that we can raise them to embrace their creativity and thrive because of it. 

Most parents are concerned about raising their children to get into good colleges and become successful in their careers. What we fail to understand is that creativity is a key factor, not only in their career success but also in the quality of the lives they will lead. 

The irony is that when we focus on raising and educating our children well rather than preparing them for acceptance into a good college, getting into a good college will naturally follow. 

“We have to go from what is essentially an industrial model of education, a manufacturing model, which is based on linearity and conformity and batching people. We have to move to a model that is based more on principles of agriculture. We have to recognize that human flourishing is not a mechanical process; it’s an organic process. And you cannot predict the outcome of human development. All you can do, like a farmer, is create the conditions under which they will begin to flourish.”

— Sir Ken Robinson

If you want to raise your children to get ahead, creativity is where you want to put your focus. Any obstacle, struggle, or challenge in life requires creative thinking.

People who rise to the top are creative people. They are the visionaries, the thinkers, the leaders. They are not the people who need to be told what to do because they lack ideas, the sheep, so to speak.

The first seven years of a child's life are critical years of development, years where—in the right sort of environment—a child's imagination will bloom.

Preschools and kindergarten programs, even first grade, will most likely interrupt this process, which is why you may want to consider keeping your children out of schools and early education programs. You may want to keep them out of school altogether, if possible. 

If you are homeschooling your children, you have the advantage, as your children will have more free time to pursue the wandering of their minds—that is, if you are homeschooling them according to the sound principles of education. 

Warning: Virtual schools are not an educational option that's conducive towards nurturing a child's creativity. 

If you can protect your child's natural genius—the genius that he was born with—he'll be way ahead of the curve where creativity and innovation are concerned and of more value to himself, his family, his friends, and his employers.

He may even become his own boss someday.

A few things you can do to help your child's creativity flourish include some of the following:

• Teach your children a lot of general knowledge (during the educative years) 

• Give them plenty of free time to let their mind roam

• Ask your children open-ended questions

• Encourage them to be in the habit of exploring different possibilities

• Support them in seeing themselves as creative people

• Help them make connections between different ways of seeing things

• Encourage them to explore their ideas so they develop confidence in their ideas

• Help them to learn resilience around ideas that don't go as hoped or planned

• Guide them towards their creative abilities, whether it be in music, math, drawing, etc.

• Always express respect and interest when your children share an idea with you

• Let your children take risks (within reason!)

• Encourage them to trust their own judgment

• Keep your children off of devices!

• Teach your children the skill of listening; they'll learn a lot more

These are just a few ideas to get the creative juices flowing so that your children can excel in the ways which will make their lives fuller, richer, and more meaningful.

Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

Can Your Child Find His True Calling?→

“What do you do for a living?” Sir Ken Robinson asked a man who attended his event.

"I'm a fireman," the man said.

Sir Ken then asked the man when he decided to become a fireman. The man shared that as a child he had always wanted to be a fireman, and that desire had never left him.

When he was a senior in high school, his teacher asked the class what their plans were for after they graduated. Everyone was going to college except for our fireman. 

“I am going to join the fire service,” he said.

His teacher tried to persuade him that it would be a mistake because he was a good student, and he would be wasting his bright future in the fire service, but the young man went on to join the fire service anyway. 

THE WISDOM WITHIN THE IRONY

And six months before speaking with Sir Ken, our fireman had saved that same teacher's life!

His teacher and his wife had been in a serious car accident, and our fireman pulled them both out of the car, administering CPR to his teacher. 

If the fireman’s teacher had known that his student would one day save his life, would he have advised him to go to college instead of joining the fire service?

Probably not, but in this story lies the key to the kind of direction we want to give our children, so that they can find their true calling.

“The meaning in life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”

— Pablo Picasso

What the teacher failed to recognize, and what the late Sir Ken imparted over the course of his profession, is that we all have a grand purpose in life.

YOUR CHILD’S PARTICULAR WORK

As Rumi, the sage and poet, said, "Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.” 

Our fireman's grand purpose was to become a fireman, which would eventually include saving his teacher's life; the desire for that work had been put in his heart. 

Most of us don't know what desire was put into our hearts because we were divorced from our natural inclinations in the school system, never having had the time or direction to follow our interests and see where they led us. 

Consequently, most of us are not living our best lives, lives that are in alignment with our hearts' desire.

A CHANCE TO DO IT DIFFERENTLY

As stay-at-home moms and as homeschoolers, we can offer our children a different experience. We can introduce our children to a myriad of activities and new skills as they are growing up, and we will notice what it is that they are inclined towards and what it is that lights them up.

As they get older, we can steer them in those directions until eventually one of their interests will stand out above the others. 

We want to allow for the interests of our children to emerge without imposing our own desires onto them. In other words, if we expect our child to grow up and become a doctor, an engineer, or a lawyer, then we've missed the point. 

For our children to live meaningful lives and to reach their potential, they need the freedom and opportunity to discover what it is that they were born to do.

It doesn't have to be one thing that they do throughout their entire lives, but they need to be able to choose what they do, even if it sounds crazy to us. 

Because only they are intimately in touch with the unfolding of their lives, and we have to trust that whatever they choose to do in the present is leading them towards the fulfillment of their purpose. 

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for. ”

— Fydor Dostoevsky

Sometimes after one career, a person has developed a combination of skills that allow them to become excellent at a new profession, such as lawyers who become great writers or athletes who become brilliant physical therapists or gardeners who become superb chefs. 

As a parent, it behooves us to remind ourselves that we do not know what our child's journey will include, and it isn't our job to decide this for our child. 

Our greatest role as a parent will always be that of a guide. We want to guide our children into adulthood in ways that are in alignment with their uniqueness so that they can become their very best at whatever they choose to do. 

Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

What Are We Doing to Our Children

In lieu of writing something myself, I’m posting this link to a 19 minute and 40 second video that you will not want to miss.

What Are We Doing to Our Children, by Sophie Winkleman.

When Is Homeschooling a Bad Idea?→

Maybe, like me, you’ll also be surprised to learn that "Why homeschooling is a bad idea" is a commonly searched question on the internet.

Which got me thinking about the reasons for why some people believe this and when homeschooling might truly be a bad idea for some families.

As it may be of interest to you, I've put together 8 reasons for why homeschooling might be considered a bad idea. 

With 23 years of experience behind me, I'll share with you what I've seen work and not work when it comes to homeschooling, and I'll share some common misunderstandings that mislead parents about homeschooling. 

Why Some People Believe that Homeschooling is Bad

1. A Misunderstanding of What Children Need in Childhood

Our job as parents is to raise our children to be civilized, independent, and the best of who they can be. To do this, children need to be with people who model civlized behavior, they need the freedom to decide how to use their own time, and they need to develop well physically, emotionally, and neurologically. 

Once the children have a solid foundation in place, with the proper guidance, they will be able to grow into civilized, independent adults who operate from a place of integrity. However, when we put children into school too early, we interrupt this process. 

“Childish people, for all the noise they make, are nearly helpless. They always fall back into line because they have no other choice, they lack the inner resources to be self-sustaining. ”

— John Taylor Gatto

Contrary to tons of research, many parents still believe that putting their children into early education programs is what's best for their children, and, by default, homeschooling becomes a bad idea.

2. Ignorance About What a Quality Education Looks Like

Few of us stop to consider what a quality education should look like, and how providing one for our kids will have a positive effect on their entire lives.

If parents have been deceived into misunderstanding what their children are capable of, and they don't know how far below their children's capability levels the public schools hover, then they won't see the point of homeschooling their kids, and again, homeschooling becomes a bad idea. After all, why would you bother?

3. Parents Think Their Kids Need School to Develop Social Skills

Children need people in their lives to model good social skills for them. This is one of the ways they learn social skills. What they don't need is school. No child is going to learn good social skills from other children, and especially not from a school system where their teachers are not allowed to discipline and correct their behavior. 

“Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.”

— Marian Wright Edelman

Social skills amongst homeschooled children have been studied, and the homeschooled come out ahead for obvious reasons. There's no rocket science here. So, even for improving one’s social skills, homeschooling is not a bad idea.

4. Parents Know "Homeschooled" Kids and Are Not Impressed. 

This last one is a growing problem because the kids these parents know aren't really being homeschooled; they're in virtual schools. If all a parent knows are kids who are being "educated" through virtual schools, then they don't know anything about homeschooled kids.

These virtual schoolers sit in front of computers for too many hours a day; they don't socialize, and they don't learn much. They are even registered through the state as a public school student. 

Since Covid there has been a mass movement towards online education, and the most recent national study shows that schoolkids are still way behind academically.

Go figure. 

We need to keep our kids out of these fraudulent, dumbed-down programs! Our children are smart, and they deserve an education. 

An Unfortunate Scenario That May Not Work

1. One Spouse Wants to Homeschool, the Other Doesn't

All relatively sane parents want what is best for their children. Yet, when it comes to education, some parents believe that what is best is public school, and some parents believe that what is best is homeschooling. 

When two parents disagree on which kind of education is best for their children, homeschooling may not be the best option, however, it depends upon the level of respect between the parents. 

What I have seen over the years is that the parent against homeschooling, which is usually the father, may agree to the children being homeschooled for a year, but it is on a "trial" basis.

 If the father is respectful and truly supportive of his wife's efforts, and if the wife knows what she's doing, then homeschooling will usually prove itself, and he then becomes convinced that homeschooling trumps school. 

But if the father is disrespectful towards the mother, especially in front of the children, and he undermines her efforts to give her children a better education, then the children tend to eventually side with the father, and the mother will have little choice but to give up her dreams of homeschooling her precious ones. 

“A father’s contribution to his children is primarily a measure of how much he adores their mother.”

— John Rosemond, Psychologist

Sometimes you see the situation reversed, but it is less common because the mother typically does the teaching. If she doesn't want to homeschool, she is not going to "try it out."

Final Thoughts

Overall, homeschooling is the better option if you want to raise children to be brighter, happier, and better socialized. How we raise and educate our children will largely determine the quality of the life they live.

It's a few years of work for us but a lifetime for them. 

Register for Liz’s FREE masterlclass, Homeschooling for Success: 3 Critical Questions Each New Homeschooler Must Ask.

Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

Boost Focus in Children For Better Study Success→

Children are losing the ability to focus because we are not raising them in environments that demand they focus, and then when they get easily distracted, we are too quick to cry "ADHD!" 

When you observe infants, you will note how extremely focused they become when something catches their interest. If you've given your children a wholesome childhood, they too should be able to focus well, and they certainly should from ADHD. 

Prior to the 1970s, only 1-3% of children were diagnosed with any problems of this sort. If only 1 - 3% of children had any learning or behavioral problems, should we ask what’s going on?

What's going on is that the way children are experiencing their childhood today is very different from how they experienced it 50 years ago, and with the "different" came a whole host of problems. 

One of which is a country of overmedicated children. Regardless of whether nor not your child has received an ADHD label, there are many things you can do to help your child learn how to focus better. 

The ability to focus equates to more efficient studying and quicker comprehension, which means that your children will learn more, and, therefore, do better academically over the course of their educative years. 

Focus Tip #1

Help your child develop the extremely important skill of listening. We overlook this skill today, but it is a skill that's vital to communication, comprehension, courtesy, and intelligence. 

“Being relevant simply consists in paying close attention to the point that is being talked about and saying nothing that is not significantly related to it.”

— Mortimer J. Adler, How to Speak How to Listen

There are 3 things you start doing today, that will help your child tremendously:

1. Teach him not to interrupt you or anyone else when he is being spoken to

2. Take him into nature and let him sit quietly while paying attention to every single sound he can hear. Ask him to write down the sounds or, if he is too young to write, you can write them for him. If you have multiple children, you can let them play a game of who can hear the most sounds. 

We are losing the ability to hear more subtle sounds because of all the noise pollution, so taking your children into nature and helping them to develop more acute hearing will serve them well. 

3. Read outloud to your children every day. If you can read to them in the afternoon and before bed, that would be ideal. 

Mortimer Adler said that the ability to listen is not a natural gift, but it's a skill that we must work to acquire. He also pointed out that nobody teaches it, though it should be taught. 

Focus Tip #2

Encourage your children to engage in activities that help develop their focus muscle. 

1. Provide your children with puzzles from an early age. As they get older, get them more difficult puzzles. Puzzles requires children to focus acutely as they think about where each piece goes.

2. Give your young children colored pencils and blank paper and let them draw for as long as they like. For older children, teach them the rudiments of drawing because it not only develops the skill of observation (critical to reading people), but it also requires that they focus intently on their subject. 

3. Raise your children to play sports that require intense focus; such as ice skating, handball, or ping pong. 

Focus Tip #3

Choose entertainment for your children wisely. 

1. Raise your kids to love reading quality books. A good story will keep their focus for a long time. 

2. Have your children study a musical instrument and take them to classical music concerts. 

3. Well, the last one you know. Keep your kids away from screens. This is a no-brainer as any screen use will interfere with their brain development, their social skills, and their engagement in activities that will help them develop the ability to focus well. 

And, while we're helping our kids improve their focus, we can strengthen our own focus muscles too. We live in a highly distractable time, and everyone I know seems to complain about the need to improve their focus. 

For that, it's a simple formula: a little less Netflix, a little less internet scrolling,  and a little more meditation every day will work wonders. 

Register for Liz’s FREE masterlclass, Top 3 Secrets to Homeschooling for success!

Don’t miss your free download, 31 Screen-Free Activities to Support Your Child's Developing brain.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with Essays by John Taylor Gatto and Dorothy Sayers.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

What's Stopping Kids From Reading…→

My son and I were on a train through the south of Germany when I looked to my left and saw a child reading. And then I saw another child reading. And then another child.

I said to my son, "Look, there's actually children reading on this train; how exciting!" 

"What a sorry day it is when you get excited about a child reading," he replied. 

"I know, tell me about it." 

But non-reading kids are the reality today. Kids are staring at screens instead of absorbing what's going on around them, learning from great books, engaging in life, or socializing with real people. 

No, they are living “virtual lives,” as my son put it. 

My eyes kept glancing over at these children, and then I noticed their parents were speaking English. At some point, I couldn't hold back any longer, so I went up to the parents and told them it was a joy to see that they were raising kids who actually liked to read. 

And they pointed down the train to another family of kids who were reading. I can't tell you what a delight it was to see kids with books in their hands and no screens. 

One Family's Success

We talked about the loss of reading in our culture, and they expressed their contentment in having kids who enjoyed a good book. I could see they were really pleased with their success in raising kids who read. 

The youngest child, a boy, was playing hangman with his dad. His father said to me, "He is supposed to be reading too!"

Okay, the "supposed to" jarred me a tad. I didn't say anything, but hangman over a screen is still a huge success in today's climate of raising kids. And a 7-year-old boy can't be forced to read, only encouraged from an environment of readers, in his case, his older sisters and parents. 

These kids were all screen-free. No whining. No complaining. The children were happily occupied on a long train ride through Germany with their noses in books (minus one). 

Took me back to my own kids and how they used to do the same. Or they’d gaze out the window and take in the sights or we’d chat about something they found interesting—as I’m sure the children on the train did too.

Amongst many other non-tech activities, screen-free kids will read books, and that's why "reading" kids are so uncommon now. Because kids have their noses stuck in screens, kids everywhere are staring at screens, kids are living in a virtual world. 

They are growing up in an alternative reality.

How to Raise Screen-Free Kids

However, luckily for us, it's not difficult to raise children who prefer a book to a screen, either. You just have to do two things. 

1. Keep screens out of sight, and chances are that your kids will never ask for one.

2. Keep an endless supply of good books in your home.

In my experience, it's much easier to raise kids without screens than with "one hour after dinner" or "two hours on the weekend." 

When you raise kids without screens, they learn how to occupy themselves, otherwise known as being resourceful. They won't whine and complain that they are bored, and they won't argue with you over screen time.

Honestly, keeping your kids screen-free will alleviate a lot of the tension in the home too.

And, if you have books in the house, they'll grow up reading too. My son told me, while on this train through southern Germany, that he read so much as a child because books were all there were in the house.

Exactly. He still reads. 

What triggers me a bit is this movement to end the use of smartphones in schools. Don't get me wrong; it's a long overdue movement, and I'm truly grateful it's begun, thanks to Jonathon Haidt and his new book, The Anxious Generation, which I recommend you read.

But why do so many parents wait until they are given permission to do what they know is best for their kids? 

When it comes to our kids, we can't give up our mama bear roles; we have to defend our kids from the harmful elements of society, and smartphones are a very toxic and damaging element.

We have countless studies to prove it. We also have our common sense.

“In almost every house we’ve been,
We’ve watched them gaping at the screen.
They sit and stare and stare and sit...
Until they’re hpynotized by it,
But did you ever stop to think,
(What) This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
...
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CANNOT THINK HE ONLY SEES!”

— ROALD DAHL

The No-Tech Kids Movement

Today we have a generation of children who grew up with technology, and who are active in this movement to remove smartphones from schools. 

They know the harm it causes their generation, and they want it to stop. We are hearing this from the children! 

They want it to stop.

One parent told me that her older kids told her not to let the younger children near technology. They recognized the damage it had done in their lives, and they wanted their mother to understand this and to protect their younger siblings. 

The Forbidden Apple Syndrome

There is one caveat with the "no screen" policy, and that is that when you are raising children, you need to find like-minded families to raise your kids with. Your kids can't be the only "screen-free" kids if you are raising them amongst technophiles. 

It becomes the "forbidden apple" syndrome. They'll want what their friends have but they can't have. Eventually, they'll grow up and head straight for the technology.

In this case, two hours on the weekend is a good compromise. But if you have like-minded friends who keep their kids off of tech, that's ideal.

The general rule of thumb is that if your kids want a phone, wait until they are at least 16 and let them get a job to pay for it. Also, no smartphones. Flip phones only for as long as they live with you. I got this bit of advice from my mentor and parenting guru John Rosemond, and it is sound advice. 

What Can You Do About the Problem of Technology and Your Kids?

Read a book about the dangers of technology on a child's developing brain, socio-emotional skills, and physical health. For this, I would recommend Glow Kids by Dr. Nicholas Kardaras.

Invite some friends to read the book with you and discuss ways you can agree to keep your kids away from screen use. 

Become a support group for one another in raising tech-free children. 

Given the studies about the harm technology causes to a child's grown brain, it seems a no-brainer that kids growing up without technology would be more intelligent, more socially adept, more emotionally balanced, and have better physical health. 

Say no to your kids now, and later they will be grateful to you for protecting them against the ills of screen use in childhood. As more and more studies come out, more and more people are becoming aware of how utterly damaging screen use is to children. 

By the time your kids are grown, even more research will have been published. If you let them use screens now, they may grow up to ask you, "Why?" 

Many children are asking this question today. Don't let yours be the next.

Register for Liz’s FREE masterlclass, Top 3 Secrets to Homeschooling for success!

Don’t miss your free download, 31 Screen-Free Activities to Support Your Child's Developing brain.

Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with Essays by John Taylor Gatto and Dorothy Sayers.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

A Special New Year's Activity for Your Children They Won't Forget→

Around the world, when the New Year chimes in, there is hope. Hope for a year of prosperity, abundance, and goodwill. 

It's universal.

There’s one tradition that I love, and I wanted to share it with you because your children can join in too.

In many parts of the world, there is a New Year's tradition of reflecting on the things that didn't go well during the past year and making the intention to leave them behind. 

The Practice

The tradition some people practice is to write down all of the things they want to leave behind on pieces of paper and before the clock strikes midnight, they throw the paper into the fire. 

Now they are ready to move into the New Year without taking the unwanted baggage with them. What's appealing about this tradition is that it's not only based on hope, but there is a clear intention behind it. 

It's a reminder that we have the power to make significant changes to our lives, whether it’s to work out regularly, eat better, or spend more time with loved ones; we have the possibility for improving ourselves.

We make the intention, create the space for it, and get to work. 

Easier said than done, I know. 

Include the Children

However, it's never too early to teach our children the importance of clear intentions and the power of vision and change.

If your children are old enough to write, they can join you by writing down anything they want to leave behind, and they can make the intention to do something differently for the New Year.

If they are too young to write, then you may have to do the writing for them. It would be fun to keep copies of what they want to leave behind to look back on years later.

Another thing that’s valuable about traditions, is that the tradition you can bring into your children's lives, the more things they have to look forward to during the year.

Traditions around holidays are landmarks that define certain times of the year. They are also times for shared memories and building family bonds. 

On a larger scale, traditions are the means by which we pass on our culture and customs to the next generation. 

“Tradition: how the vitality of the past enriches the life of the present. ”

— T. S. Eliot

Some Traditions

My grandfather was from a family of Greek immigrants, so we grew up with a very big Greek family. For the New Year's, there was a special cake that we baked with a 25-cent piece hidden somewhere inside the cake. 

As children, there was always a lot of suspense to see who would get the quarter, because whoever got it was guaranteed good luck for the next year. 

And my grandmother was from Georgia. The southern tradition is to bake black-eyed peas for dinner as good luck. Eating black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day is considered good luck because after the  Civil War, that's all there was to eat.

It was actually the food for horses that kept the Southerners alive after the war.  Growing up, we celebrated this tradition, too, with the typical southern accompaniments of collard greens, cornbread, and honey butter.

Honestly, the more traditions you have, the merrier.

Happy New Year! 

May it be a good year full of hope, prosperity, and abundance.

Register for Liz’s FREE masterlclass, Top 3 Secrets to Homeschooling for success!

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

LEARN MORE

Get a copy of Liz’s homeschooling Bible, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fair to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with Essays by John Taylor Gatto and Dorothy Sayers.

LEARN MORE

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.