#1 Huge Mistake Parents Are Making

No parent would want to raise their child to be less intelligent than he could be.

Yet, every single day, around the world, parents are doing one critical thing that gets in the way of their children’s intellectual development. 

Their children are spending way too much time on screens. Whether it’s for educational purposes or simple entertainment, screens are screens. 

The Hard Facts

From one study by Hikaru Takeuchi, et al, “Excessive internet use is shown to be cross sectionally associated with lower cognitive functioning and reduced volume of several brain areas.

According to Common Sense Media’s latest research, 50% of teens report that they feel addicted to their phones while 59% of their parents say the teens are addicted.

That’s a lot of teens who are addicted to their phones.

The younger a child is, the more damaging technology is to the development of his brain. This is a hard fact of science.

Effects on the Growing Brain

Technology use in childhood interferes with the neural connections in the brain, and it is the neural connections that make up our intelligence. 

Logic would have it that the less neural connections a brain makes, the less intelligent an individual would become. 

We are seeing first-hand the evidence of the numbing effect technology has on children’s minds with a new generation of tech babies who have come of age.

There are so many studies reporting the ill effects of technology on the brains of children.

It cannot be argued otherwise unless you have billions of dollars and spread false propaganda to sell your products like the video game lobby does.

Video games alone pull in 300 billion dollars per year! The industry pays lobbyists to convince congressmen that video games are beneficial.

Inability to Focus and ADHD

We know that technology use interferes with our ability to focus. With so many children playing video games, and so many children diagnosed with ADHD, I wonder how much technology has to do with it?

Maybe instead of medicating our kids, we removed technology from their lives, they might learn to focus better. 

So many adults self-label themselves with ADHD when they don’t have ADHD. People say it so often that it’s become a euphemism for a lack of focus. 

The hard facts of the matter are that we’re spending too much time online. 

True Story

I spoke with a woman once who lost her son to technology. He became addicted as a teenager, and when he finally recovered, she said he was never the same kid.

She didn’t have a strong connection with him like she had with her other children, because the technology had damaged his brain. 

It was a heartbreaking story, and one that will be shared with more and more parents until we come to terms with the truth about technology.

We will serve our children best by getting rid of the gadgets. And be willing to deal with the complaints and the anger your kids will probably display for the first few weeks, because eventually, they’ll get over it. 

You don’t want to lose your kids to technology, as so many parents have. We now have a plethora of addiction centers for withdrawing from technology because the addiction is real.

And each child with a device is a potential victim. 

If you have your kids online for school, drop that too. Homeschooling offline is much easier, more rewarding, and more enjoyable. 

May we ditch the brain-draining, mind-numbing screens and provide our children with a more brain-activating, mind-developing experience instead.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Should You Teach Your Children That "He" Is a Politically-Incorrect Pronoun?

No, because it is potentially dangerous not to teach the grammatically correct usage of “he.”

In Defense of Language

Defenders of language are opposed to the idea of gender-neutralizing language, as are many, many others.

So I was not a little taken aback when a friend told me that I should replace the pronoun "he" with "they" in my writing.

Her concern was that people would think I was literally writing about boys rather than understanding "he" is a centuries-old pronoun that stands in place of an antecedent noun that could be of either sex.

Dumb-founded by my friend’s reasoning, I asked a couple of my grammarian friends if they had encountered this same concern. Maybe their being British had some bearing on my findings, but each emphatically said, "No!"

If you read Mr. Gwynne's Grammar, a best seller in England, you will find a section on the use of the pronoun "he." Mr. Gwynne makes a point of differentiating between “sex” and “gender.”

The word to indicate whether someone is male or female is ‘sex,’ not ‘gender,’ which is purely a grammatical term.
— Mr. Gwynne

Basic Grammar

Assigning gender to a noun is woven into the structure of many languages, including the Romance languages. The gender of a noun will determine which form of an adjective or pronoun should accompany it.

For example, in Latin, “mensa” is a feminine noun that means "table.” To say " the beautiful table," we use the adjective’s feminine form of “beautiful” to agree with the feminine gender of “table,” hence, “mensa pulchra.”

French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese and Romanian follow a similar structure.

As you can see, gender in language has nothing to do with an individual's biological sex regardless of claims to the contrary, although there is of course some overlap when human beings and animals of the female sex are being referred to.

As reason would have it, therefore, the correct use of the pronoun "he," to stand in place of a noun that could be of either sex, is not sexist but grammatically correct.

For example, let’s take this sentence as an example: “If we teach a child to read too early, he may struggle to read well later.”

“He” stands in the place of “child,” who could be either a boy or a girl.

I’ve studied authoritarianism for a very long time - for 40 years - and they’re started by people’s attempts to control the ideological and linguistic territory
— Jordan Peterson

Language Does Matter

Using language correctly does matter. If you’re unsure of how much our freedom of speech depends upon the correct use of language, read George Orwell’s book, 1984.

Our language is the means through which we understand ourselves and the world in which we live. When we start meddling with one of its basic units, we do so with potentially disastrous results, such as being confused about the biological difference between a man or a woman.

There's a sort of madness at play here.

My point is that if you are a homeschooling parent teaching your child English grammar, please teach him that "he" is a centuries-old pronoun and cannot be replaced with “they".

Instead, teach your child that “he” replaces the antecedent noun when the noun could be of either sex, and we cannot afford to lose him!

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Raising Stellar Kids Begins With Our Habits!

We impact our children’s character development every single day through our own behavior.

Yet, we don’t stop often enough to reflect upon the messages we send our children through our words and actions — even the expressions on our face.

For example, a common habit which we all have today is spending time on our phones around our children.

The typical scenario looks like this: We’re texting a friend or maybe we’re surfing the web when the child asks for something. We reply by telling him to wait as we continue looking at our screen.

The child begins to whine, and we mumble to him that we’ll be there in a second. But we’re not there in a second.

The message a child gets is that the phone is more important than he is.

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

— Phyllis Diller

Those two minutes we intend to spend on the phone can add up to hours in a day, and the hours in a day, over time, can add up to weeks and so on and so on.

To put things in perspective, in 2023, the average person will spend 3.15 hours on their phone every day; 12.6 hours per week; 50.4 hours per month; 604.8 hours per year.

You can see what a strong message we give our kids when we take a “quick” glance at our phones.

In addition, our kids will probably grow up to repeat the same pattern with their children. Don’t you find yourself repeating patterns that were once your parents?

I’m not suggesting we should cater to our child’s every whim, only that we should be diligent in the way we show up for our kids.

We can replace the smartphone with any bad habit, such as, eating junk food or eating too much; not exercising, using bad language, not keeping our word, gossiping, telling too many “white” lies, or working too much.

Our bad habits become examples for our children, so if we want to raise our kids well, we have to start by working on ourselves.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ”

— Aristotle

Raising kids above the fold takes a combination of factors and one of these factors is our own habits.

We need to reflect on our habits because it’s easy to go through life oblivious to things that seem inconsequential at the moment, but with time they become lessons we teach our children, for better or for worse.

Let’s take inventory of our habits; the things we think, say, and do — are they messages that will serve us and serve our children well over time?

If not, let’s work to replace those bad habits with good habits.

Start with one bad habit, conquer it, and then choose another. To try and tackle many bad habits at once would be to invite defeat. One step at a time in replacing the bad with the good while we adopt better habits for ourselves.

Be specific with ourselves about precisely what bad habit we are replacing with what good habit, so every time we find ourselves falling back into the bad one, we can quickly self-correct by replacing it with the good habit.

It’s not until our children are older and have developed their own habits, values, and beliefs that we come face-to-face with our own shortcomings.

We’ll naturally become more effective parents if we become aware of the little things we do that add up to the big lessons we teach.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

What Key Trait Do Independent Thinkers Possess?

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It's easy to adorn oneself according to the latest fad, but it’s not so easy to stand in one’s truth when it goes against mob rule.

Learning to think and act independently requires courage: the courage to do what's right and just even in the face of ridicule, the loss of friends, or a loss of income.

John Taylor Gatto was an excellent example. He quit teaching when he was in his 60s, because he discovered that schools were causing more harm to children than good.

As a public schoolteacher, he believed that he was a part of the problem.

John sent an op-ed to the Wall Street Journal and announced his decision to quit teaching in schools. When you are a couple of years away from retirement and a pension plan, it takes a lot of courage to walk away.

Character is higher than intellect.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sporting purple hair and nose rings is not a sign of an independent character. People who dye their hair crazy colors and fill their bodies with tattoos and rings are following a group-think fad in spite of their belief to the contrary.

We should teach our children to dress well and to conform to outward standards of propriety but to be nonconforming in their attitudes, beliefs and values.

Because the greater independence of the mind is not manifest outwardly; it's an inward state.

To raise our children to be independent in mind, we need to foster courage in their characters.

People often mistake courage for the absence of fear, but the absence of fear can lead to rashness. Courage is not an absence of fear, but the ability to act in spite of one’s fear.

For example, my children performed at piano recitals, recited poetry to small audiences, and attended public speaking classes. Through these kind of activities, they learned to develop their courage muscle.

Permitting your child to run into a local grocery store alone, to climb a tree, or to ride a bike for the first time are all activities that will strengthen his courage.

Every day there will be opportunities to let our children strengthen their courage.

As we know from Aristotle, and as we can observe in our own lives,  our daily habits add up to the quality of our characters.

Children like to challenge themselves, and we need to encourage them to do so. The more they learn to face challenges in spite of the difficulty or discomfort, the more courage they develop.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
— Mark Twain

Having courage will also help to preserve their moral integrity, because having moral integrity requires us to stand in our truth both privately and in public.

Someone once told me that I needed to develop a “public” persona. In other words, I should have two selves; one for the public and one for my private life.

But I believe the goal is to have one self.

As Shakespeare said in Hamlet:

This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Should “He” Still Be Taught in Grammar?

In Defense of Language

Defenders of language are opposed to the idea of gender-neutralizing language, as are those of us working in the field of traditional education.

And many, many others.

So I was not a little taken aback the other day when a friend told me that I should replace the pronoun "he" with "they" in my writing.

His concern was that people would think I was literally writing about boys rather than understanding "he" is a centuries-old pronoun that stands in place of an antecedent noun that could be of either sex.

Let’s take this sentence as an example: “If we teach a child to read too early, he may struggle to read well later.”

“He” stands in the place of “child,” who could be either a boy or a girl.

Surprised by my friend’s reasoning, I asked a couple of my grammarian friends if they had encountered this same concern. Maybe their being British had some bearing on my findings, but each emphatically said, "No!"

If you read Mr. Gwynne's Grammar, a best seller in England, you will find a section on the use of the pronoun "he." Mr. Gwynne makes a point of differentiating between “sex” and “gender,” the word “sex being a purely biological term and the word “gender” being a purely grammatical term.

The word to indicate whether someone is male or female is ‘sex,’ not ‘gender,’ which is purely a grammatical term.
— Mr. Gwynne

Basic Grammar

Assigning gender to a noun is woven into the structure of many languages, including the Romance languages. The gender of a noun will determine which form of an adjective or pronoun should accompany it.

For example, in Latin, “mensa” is a feminine noun that means "table.” To say " the beautiful table," we use the adjective’s feminine form of “beautiful” to agree with the feminine gender of “table,” hence, “mensa pulchra.”

French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese and Romanian follow a similar structure.

As you can see, gender in language has nothing to do with an individual's biological or wishful sex regardless of claims to the contrary, although there is of course some overlap when human beings and animals of the female sex are being referred to.

As reason would have it, therefore, the correct use of the pronoun "he," to stand in place of a noun that could be of either sex, is not sexist but is grammatically correct.

I’ve studied authoritarianism for a very long time - for 40 years - and they’re started by people’s attempts to control the ideological and linguistic territory
— Jordan Peterson

Language Does Matter

Using language correctly does matter.

Our language is the means through which we understand ourselves and the world in which we live. When we start meddling with one of its basic units, we do so with potentially disastrous results, such as being confused about the biological difference of a man or a woman.

There's a sort of madness at play here.

My point is that if you are a homeschooling parent teaching your child English grammar, please teach him that "he" is a centuries-old pronoun and cannot be replaced with “they".

Instead, teach your child that “he” replaces the antecedent noun when the noun could be of either sex, and we cannot afford to lose him!

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents of school-age children, we guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise more intelligent children of a better character.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA