4 Reasons Your Kids Should Skip Trick-or-Treating→

I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.

Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.

But that was then when Halloween was a lot more innocent. Between the food waste and the front lawn horror shows, I now stand on the side of those who think we should skip trick-or- treating.

Here are 4 good reasons for you to ponder:

#1 Health & Mixed Messages

Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.

Here’s a shocking fact to put things in perspective: the average child consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!

Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.

Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table— wow.

One Dentist’s Strategy

I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate his intention, we have to consider the message gestures like these send our children.

We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.

How can turning our kids into candy peddlers be a solution?

#2 Manners & Strangers

We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.

As a mother reflecting on the idea of trick or treating, it strikes me as being a contradiction of everything we’ve taught our children thus far.

My Shameful Story

I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day of sitting in classrooms. At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with pangs of hunger, we had this bright idea.

It was Halloween which meant that we could quell our hunger pangs by trick-or-treating!

We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?"

She gave us some candy anyway.

We teach our children that it's not polite to ask for things, yet, once a year we permit it. We teach our kids not to speak to strangers, yet, once a year we permit it. We teach our kids NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet, once a year we permit it.

Of course, there are always exceptions to rules, but these are a lot of exceptions and all in one night.

#3 Corporate Horror Show

Halloween has become a creepy holiday. The decorations have become gothic and violent since the corporate world has recognized the money to be made on Halloween.

When we were little, we had innocent little costumes: princess and cowboy outfits. Sometimes we threw a sheet over our heads and went out as ghosts. There was nothing more than a pumpkin with a candle burning inside on the doorstep of each home.

Forty years later, my neighbor would put gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved to look like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, the scene looked so real that my kids used to get scared.

So did I!

And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror film. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.

Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.

#4 Waste & Starvation

I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.

For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste.

The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly. (2022 stats)

My god, that's a shameful waste of pumpkins.

What Can Kids Do Instead of Trick-or-Treating?

1. Have a costume party

2. Start a local fund and ask people to donate $5.00—instead of buying a pumpkin—and then use the money to donate food to a local charity.

3. Study the history of Halloween, the practice of Halloween, and the contradictions of Halloween, and ask your children to take a position for or against it. Then let them have a debate with the opposing party or write an age-appropriate essay arguing their side of the argument.

What You Should Not Do

Don’t take a stance of moral superiority if you decide to skip Halloween.

I had a friend whose children would stay home on Halloween. When the neighborhood kids knocked on their door, they would offer candy and then explain why they didn’t celebrate Halloween.

The unspoken was that the family was morally superior to those who knocked on their door. I’m pretty sure that no one accepted candy from said family without feeling “less than.”

Instead, use it as an opportunity to teach your children that everyone is entitled to their beliefs and to their opinions, just as you and your children are entitled to their own.

While we may not always agree with other people, we need to respect other people’s ways because each person is born with an inherent dignity that is worthy of respect.

What do you think? Let me know in the comment section.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually, start with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Discover One Key to Embrace Your Homeschool With More Joy→

Many people have told me they homeschool because of something to do with fear. While fear of what might happen or not happen in school can be the catalyst for deciding to homeschool, we need to leave the fear behind and embrace a new attitude once we get started.

Bullying and Violence

It's not that there aren't things to fear about public education, or even private schools —absolutely there are. Bullying and violent crimes are a concern, with incidences happening more times than we have days in the year.

Sex and Drugs

Early exposure to sex and drugs is another problem in schools, especially the inappropriate classes in sex education, sexual preferences, and gender issues. 

Weaker Family Bonds

Schoolchildren tend to have weaker bonds with their families, and losing our children's loyalty to peers or values we don't espouse can be devastating and wreak havoc on the entire family. 

Too Much Technology

Excessive use of computers in the classroom, with the subsequent problem of addiction to technology, is another grave issue we face. Addiction centers are popping up more frequently and organizations to de-program our kids are becoming more popular.

Lack of Concern for Character Development

Because schools no longer uphold standards of behavior based on traditional values, good character development is something we must concern ourselves with.

How can we raise children of good character if they are in poor moral environments for a large number of hours per day? 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

— Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Substandard Education

And last, but not least, education. Putting a child through 12 years of school to find he doesn't enjoy reading, cannot write a persuasive essay, and is unable to think critically is a reality too many parents face today. 

While all of the above reasons may motivate us to keep our children out of school, we want to climb onto higher ground when we are homeschooling. 

Fear is an emotion that triggers feelings of isolation, disconnectedness, anxiety, apprehension, . and this is exactly how many homeschoolers say they feel. 

Fear, at times, is necessary. In this case, it served its purpose; it motivated us to homeschool. But now it’s time to shift our attitude.

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

— Joseph Campbell

Another Perspective

Instead of fear, why not embrace the joy of homeschooling?

If we can discover a strong "why" for homeschooling, it will be easier to stay the course, put our hearts into our work, and enjoy teaching our own. 

We want to turn our backs on the "fear" motivator and embrace the "love" motivator. 

To do this, we need to discover a love for why we are homeschooling. Fortunately, there are many “loves” to choose from. They come in the form of your “why,” your primary reason for homeschooling; a reason which keeps you motivated even on days when you feel tired and overwhelmed.

Discovering Your "Why"

Discovering our "why" simply means reflecting on that which is most valuable to us as parents. What is it that we want most for our children and for our family? What is it that we would love the most if we were to see it happen?

Strong Family Bonds

Your "why" does not have to be the same as someone else's "why" either.  Nurturing a strong bond with your children, and therefore, building a stronger family might be what you care most about. 

Training of the Mind

For someone else, it might be the training of the mind and raising children who are not fooled by propaganda or misled by faulty thinking, but they can think critically and develop their own ideas and opinions. 

Nurturing Children’s Hearts

Maybe you want to protect your child's heart from the inappropriate things that are being taught in school today, such as sex-education, gender issues, and sexual preferences. There's also the issue of bullying and violence in schools today, and mass shootings which happen more frequently than we like to think. 

Integrity

Or maybe, like me, you are motivated by the simple desire to raise children who have integrity and are true to themselves. 

Whatever your "why" is, write it down and let it be your homeschooling mantra. On the days when you feel overwhelmed or out of patience with your children, remember your "why" and never look back.

Homeschooling is the best gift you can give your children; it is the gift of your time and the training of their minds and hearts. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

What I Would Say if These Parents Had Called Me to Chat→

A friend sent me a telling article from the Guardian (UK newspaper) on home-education in the UK. Whether it's the UK, the USA, or Europe, it doesn't matter. Parents are parents and the concerns are similar.

I will say that while reading this article, I felt a little frustrated by what I was reading. With homeschooling, when it is thrust upon us from a lack of other options, it comes down to how we choose to look at it. Do we embrace the challenge or resist it?

So, here's what I'd say to the parents in this article if they had shared their concerns with me.

(The quotes are excerpted from the Guardian article.)

Julie

"My child had been struggling with the school environment from the start,” Julie said. “She’s autistic, has sensory difficulties, finds noise and lights difficult, but is academically clever. She found it so hard to navigate relationships with peers and her anxiety was so intense she was mostly mute at school.” —Julie

“Julie’s daughter, now nine, has been home educated since, an experience Julie describes as “distressing” due to her lack of knowledge about teaching and home learning, and a lack of support.” —Guardian

The Support I Offer Julie

Julie, why do you think you have no knowledge about teaching? You are your child's first teacher; you have been teaching her since the day she was born. All parents are teachers of their children.

While moving into academic teaching may seem daunting at first, there isn't anything during the elementary years that, with a few tools under our belts, we can't tackle. I agree that you need to know what you are doing, but there are resources available in the homeschooling community to give you the understanding and confidence to homeschool successfully.

An academically clever child is a joy to teach. If you have a child who is eager to learn, as you indicated your daughter is, then you are doing better than many parents whose children are plugged in and disengaged. Consider this a huge plus when homeschooling, because it makes your work so much easier.

As for support, if you join local homeschooling social groups for your children, you will also find companionship and support amongst the parents.

Mathew

“After the switch to secondary school he started having anxiety attacks that slowly escalated,” Matthew said. “They were mainly related to tests, homework demands, and managing expectations. The chaotic and uncertain environment of frequent supply teachers, constantly shifting timetables and bullying made it very difficult for him to cope.”

“Our son’s panic attacks have mostly disappeared, he’s gained confidence and has been making better progress academically, because we’ve been able to tailor the topics more closely to his interests and ability. But much of this success is down to the fact that we were both working as qualified teachers in the past. I worry about all the people in a similar situation who aren’t teachers, and don’t have understanding employers – mine has allowed me to work flexibly from home.”

Quelling Mathew’s Concerns

You did the right thing by removing your child from a distressing environment during the years when every experience is magnified and contributes to the formation of his character and personality. And I'm so happy to hear he is doing significantly better, though, I'm not surprised!

Mathew, while it's kind of you to be concerned about homeschooling parents who aren't certified as teachers, I would beg to disagree with you. Your success is not because you and your wife were former teachers; it’s because you are homeschooling.

Studies show that parents—whether professional teachers or not—are just as qualified to teach their children and do a very good job of it, and that children learn better at home. While being a professional teacher may give you a sense of confidence, initially, it really will make no difference in the long run.

Catherine

“Catherine, 50, a teacher from Brighton, who also said that she took her daughter, who has ASC [autism spectrum condition], out of school to avoid fines for poor attendance, is one of many parents who switched to online school.” —Guardian

“She started just on two subjects but now does a full eight and is choosing options for GCSEs. She’s engaged and enjoying her learning, it’s been wonderful.

It is a struggle financially, though. The online school costs £300 a month. I’m a single mum and had to give up working outside the home. I get by on whatever remote work I can find and benefits. I also worry that if my daughter wants to go to university or work in an office environment she will have had no exposure to that kind of thing.” —Catherine

Some Suggestions for Catherine

Catherine, your concerns are valid. Your daughter needs to be engaged in the real world with real people, so she can better develop the social and emotional aspects of her character and personality.

While sitting in front of a computer to learn may seem easier, it is not going to give her the tools she needs to function well in the world, especially if she is already struggling with an autism diagnosis.

It's much easier to homeschool using real books, it costs far less, and your daughter will have time for more social engagements, which will help her develop better social skills. As you said yourself, she needs to be engaged so when she is ready to go out on her own, she can manage.

The 300 sterling you save each month by getting her offline, you can put towards extra-curricular studies for your daughter, such as piano lessons, tennis lessons, or learning French.

Oh, one last thing, you mentioned you worked remotely. When you homeschool using real books, your daughter's homeschooling day is much shorter, too, so you will still have time to work. 

Liza

“While many parents praised the advantages of online schooling, some were less convinced, among them 46-year-old Liza, from Walsall, who said her daughter had struggled with online lessons after she left school at the end of year 10 due to bullying.” —Guardian

“I’ve spent over £2,000 on tutors since September, and £1,000 so she can sit exams. She’s better now, however socially it’s been very hard. She’s very isolated, my husband and I both work full-time.” —Liza

An Idea for Liza

Liza, kudos to you for removing your daughter from the world of screen learning and back into the world of books.

I’m sorry about the tutoring expense, as it is a lot, but one of the things you might consider doing is to hire an undergrad college student instead of paying full price for a professional tutor. Also, can your daughter join any extra-curricular clubs for social interaction?

She does need to socialize, especially at her tender age, as friends are very important for teenagers.

Anonymous

“One parent, who wanted to stay anonymous, said they had taken their child out of year 6 last September because of unmet needs in school, and desperately hoped they would be able to return as soon as possible.” — Guardian

“The experience [of home education] is not great, my child is now struggling to leave the house and is missing out on socializing with peers. She’s too anxious to attend home education meet-ups. We need the correct support so she can attend school. It’s so unfair.” — Anon

My advice to anonymous

(I have to assume the child is in front of the computer all day because of the socialization issue)

Naturally, she will long for her peers because she has already established a relationship with them. This is a good sign because we know she is capable of establishing good social relationships, but she's probably become socially anxious because of the excessive screen-time use and lack of social contact. 

My first plan would be to get her off the screens and get her learning with real books. You might consider starting a book club or some kind of a program in your home with other homeschooled children. 

Instead of having to go out and meet people, your daughter could meet them while feeling safe at home. Once she gets used to socializing again and has a few new friends, she'll be better able to venture into new social situations without panicking or refusing to leave the house.

My Thoughts on This Article

What is concering to me is that as parents, we want what is best for our children, and we will do whatever it takes to provide it; yet, too many parents feel dis-empowered when it comes to their child's education. 

After 22 years of working with parents of school-age children, I know that this mindset is not uncommon. 

We have to remember that our children’s education can make or break them. Not a single government in the entire world is providing a sound education for children. It's up to us to make sure it happens.

Together, we can do it.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated. She also provides you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

5 Ways Schools Kill Your Child's Love of Learning→

Children come into this world curious and ready to learn. They have just enough hearing and sight to kickstart the wiring of their brain. 

They are born to know. Literally.

It's a profound characteristic because it begs the question, know what? And in that lies the secret to life. 

If the desire to know is how we tackle the mysteries of life, including who we are, why we are here, and where we are going, then shouldn't we protect our children's desire to know at whatever cost?

Shouldn't it be our #1 priority? I take the position that it should be which begs another question: Well, how do we do that?

One of the ways we do it is by not putting our children into school because, ironically, schools will kill our children's curiosity and love of learning.

John Taylor Gatto, an award-winning teacher and author of the best seller, Dumbing Us Down,  said that schools are dangerous places for kids. That was his conclusion after teaching for 30 years.

And John was right. 

1.  The Confining of the Child's Mind

Children are taken out of the home and put into schools at far too early ages. Even Harvard studies show that children do not benefit from early education. 

Instead of feeling safe and loved while exploring, moving, and exercising their curiosity and desire to know, children are put into organized programs where they are confined to a classroom and told what to do and when to do it. 

The cuter the classroom, the more deceptive are the dangers of school.

What we know through research is that children enter preschool with their curiosity intact (as long as they are coming from the home and not from two or three years spent in daycare). 

Somewhere around kindergarten and first grade, their curiosity begins to wane. That little light in their mind begins to dim. 

The curious child learns that school is a place where you sit still and listen. Too many questions are not encouraged; and he learns to be quiet.

The more he suppresses his desire to know, the more dwarfed his curiosity becomes.

“The children are teach have almost no curiosity, and what little they do have is transitory. ”

— John Taylor Gatto, author of Dumbing Us Down

It's like a Bonsai plant. When you clip the child's curiosity, his mind is hindered from growing. 

As a school teacher has 30 other children to contend with, she can’t handle a lot of questions because  she  needs to stick to her schedule and get on with the day's lessons. 

While it isn’t the teachers’ fault, the child quickly learns that his desire to know is not socially acceptable in the classroom.

2. Failure to Read

Most children are taught to read before they are developmentally ready. While some kids can manage, some can't, and some will even fail.

The children who struggle will begin to think they are not very smart, and their self-esteem will decline and their confidence will grow weak. 

If school is where they go to learn things, then they conclude that they’d rather not learn anything. At least then they will not have to suffer through the frustration and embarrassment of not being able to keep up with the rest of the class. 

3. Textbooks that Kill

Have you ever read a real science or history book, one that wasn't a textbook? It's a totally different experience because science and history are fascinating subjects, and if the author is a good writer, you won't be able to put the book down. 

But we don't teach our children with well-written books in school. We bore them to death by imposing textbook learning on them, replete with the endless list of proscribed questions

I hated science and history in school. Juxtapose that to my  homeschooled children who read quality science and history books for fun, and you'll begin to see the problem. 

“The children I teach are ahistorical; they have no understanding of how the past has predestinated their own present, limits their choices, shapes their values and lives.”

— John Taylor Gatto, author of Dumbing Us Down

Put a child into school, hand him a textbook, and threaten him with a test; and you are about to destroy any interest he had in that subject. 

4. The Tricky Test

And let's not forget the exams. After reading the boring textbook, a child now has to have an exam on something he was completely uninterested in. 

Not only that, but he has to guess what questions the teacher might ask, so he can memorize the answers.

And how much information will a child retain? Probably not as much as he would have if he had been interested in the subject. And he will proceed to forget most of it once the exam is over.

5. The Reward and the Punishment

And then come the grades. It doesn't matter if a child does well or he does poorly because he has studied for an exam, not for the joy of learning.

Whether he is rewarded with an “A” or punished with a “D”, he still loses. 

Schools are dangerous places for kids because they destroy the one quality it takes to get a real education; the desire to know. 

The Crisis in Education

We are in a crisis in education, and we have been for a long time. There is nothing to reform, because the system never worked.

As long as education is in the hands of the government, an education will never be had. 

Children received a real education when the parents were in charge of the schools, prior to the 1850's and before the government introduced mass schooling. 

Before then, America's parents dictated what their children learned, how they learned, and when they learned. They even dictated who they would learn from. 

Fortunately, American’s have retained the right to educate their own and educating our own is exactly what we need to do. 

“That certified teaching experts like me are deemed necessary to make learning happen is a fraud and a scam.”

— John Taylor Gatto, author of Dumbing Us Down

Unless you want the government's dumbed down version of an education for your children, you will need to keep them out of school. 

At home,  you can preserve their love of learning and desire to know about the things that will matter to them in life. 

And, following sound principles and methods, you can give them a stellar education. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated. She also provides you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Don't Say the "B" Word!→

There's a word that should not be used by children. Instead of forbidding it, adults are indulging the “B” word, too, which is not helping matters.

For example. the other day a kindergarten teacher was boasting about having a  "boredom" hour for her students. It goes something like this: "Ok children, it's "Boredom" time!”

During "Boredom" time, the children need to figure out what to do with themselves. While this is all fine and dandy, it's also counterproductive. 

You see, the point to the use of the word "boredom" is that children should not be allowed to speak, think, or entertain the word under any circumstances. 

“It turns out that bliss — a second-by-second joy and gratitude at the gift of being alive, conscious — lies on the other side of crushing, crushing boredom.”

— David Foster Wallace

How did the boredom epidemic begin in the first place? First, children are being raised in ways that don't allow them the opportunity to self-direct their engagement in life. 

When they are young, instead of playing outdoors, they are put in front of screens. Instead of having a childhood, they start school too early. Instead of exploring their environment, they whine that they are bored and their parents scramble to find things for them to do.

But our job as parents is not to entertain our children or come up with ways to alleviate their perceived boredom. 

People who get easily bored tend to be boring people, at least that’s been my experience. They are people who lack hobbies and interests and need to be entertained much of the time.

In other words, they’re a little empty on the inside.

Waiting for the next Netflix series to hit the screen…

Who amongst us wants to raise boring children? There should be absolutely no room for the "B" word in the life of a child.

The world is too fascinating! To raise children who are engaged in the gift of life and the act of living, one cannot allow a word such as boredom into their vocabulary. 

It's that simple.

There will be transition times from one activity to another, this is normal. But to label this period as "boredom" and allow your child to complain about being bored should be avoided at all times.

“The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom.”

— Arthur Schopenhauer

Finding ways for your child to alleviate his “boredom” is limiting your child's ability to become resourceful in life only adds insult to injury.

Our job is to give our children the freedom to independently engage in their own lives from an early age. 

Children come into the world fascinated by life. It is we who interfere with this fascination by teaching our children to be dependent upon sources other than themselves for entertainment.

We do far too much for our children and the more we do for them, the less children learn to do for themselves.

“I’ve got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom.”

— Thomas Carlyle

Let them be is all we need to do when our children are young. Keep them off of the all-pervasive screens, and let them figure out what to do with their own time.

My children never once complained about being bored. At some point, the word was introduced by one of their friends, at which time I told them they were never to use it again. 

Do not tell your kids it is "Boredom" time now and then tell them to figure out what to do during "Boredom" time. Calling free time "boredom" time puts the thought of boredom in their minds.

Scourge the "B" word from your and your children's vocabularies and instead raise interesting children who are fully engaged in the experience of life.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated. She also provides you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

7 Reasons Homeschooling Kids Have More Opportunity→

According to the research on homeschooling, homeschooled children are ahead of their schooled peers intellectually and socially. They learn more and they engage in more social activities, which would presumably put them ahead emotionally too.

If you are homeschooling using sound methods, you know this is true because the proof is in the pudding - you can see it for yourself. 

But if you aren't homeschooling, here's 7 reasons to consider  the fastest growing educational option today.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

— Nelson Mandela

1. Share in the Habits of the Top 1%

People at the top of financial earnings have one thing in common, they read books. They usually write and sell their books too.

Yet, only 14 out of 100 children read for fun. 

Only 14!

By homeschooling, you can raise children who, like the top 1%, also enjoy reading books. Reading is the key to knowledge and regardless of what professional field  your child enters, reading will only improve his understanding. 

2. Personal Development

Homeschooling children have more time to develop skills and hobbies. A child who grows up to become a skilled ice skater,  musician, or writer can turn these hobbies into a profession either by performing or teaching. 

We never know what life might bring us, and raising our children to have a skill they can fall back on monetarily, whether it becomes their main profession or not, is always prudent. 

3. Intellectual Precocity

Children, who are homeschooled independently, surpass their schooled counterparts on exams. 

They also have a better chance of getting into more impressive colleges, if they should choose that route. However, some parents fear their children won't get into good colleges if they homeschool them.

This may be true if you put your kids into virtual schools or a public school homeschooling programs (a bit of an oxymoron, no?), but it isn't true if you homeschool independently using methods that are time-tested.

“You can never be overdressed or overeducated.”

— Oscar Wilde

If you are homeschooling independently, rest assured that your children's chances of getting into a good college should be higher, not lower.

It isn't just SAT scores colleges look for; they want people who are above average in their accomplishments too. It reflects well upon the schools and helps to maintain their prestigious reputations. 

4. More Socially Adept

Homeschooled children score above schoolchildren in social competency, which makes sense. Children who don't spend 8 hours in school will have a lot more time for socializing.

Practice makes perfect.

Eventually, with more practice, homeschoolers will exceed their schooled peers who spend their school days in classrooms. What little social interaction schoolchildren do have is usually with children their own age.

Spending the majority of time with one’s peers is limiting to their social skill development. and personally and professionally, good social skills will always be critical to one’s ability to get a long with others.

5. Makes for More Interesting People

With more time on their hands, homeschooled children are able to develop a stronger sense of self and engage in all sorts of learning adventures from family travel to starting home businesses. 

And this is on top of the hobbies and skills they are engaged in as well. 

People who have more interests and who have had more experiences in life, especially of the unusual sort, tend to be more interesting people. And like attracts like. 

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.”

— St. Augustine

The more interesting the people your children engage with, the more unusual the opportunities will be that come their way. 

6. Independent Minds

Homeschooled children, taught at home (not in co-ops or on computers) tend to have more  independent minds. An independent  mind is a quality of leadership, whether of self or others, and people who can think for themselves will always be of more value than those who can't. 

Independent minds are difficult to foster when children are taught in groups and expected to conform to the group thinking. Obviously, this isn't the case in a homeschool, where children are taught independently and encouraged to think more deeply. 

And independent thinkers are not a dime a dozen. Think supply and demand.

7. Creativity is the Seed of Genius

Children who are given wholesome childhoods and allowed to begin academic training when they are developmentally ready, and not a day sooner, will have the time in childhood to develop more creative minds.

Creativity is the seed of genius. All new ideas and inventions are born out of a mind who can think out of the box and imagine new possibilities. 

We suffer from a dearth of creativity today because children are not getting the kind of childhood’s they need to foster their creativity.

“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.”

— Robert Frost

We want to raise creative children, so their minds are free to roam the heavens for new ideas and inventions. Why limit our children's intellectual capabilities when we can raise them to be and do so much more?

Therefore, if you want your children to live more fulfilling and interesting lives and with more opportunities awaiting them, the solution is to homeschool your children.

It's the fastest growing form of education today because it works. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated. She also provides you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Is Teaching Penmanship Still Necessary in the Computer Age?→

While some people may argue that good penmanship is no longer a necessary skill in the computer age, this position couldn't be further away from the truth. 

What a disservice we do to our children when we fail to ensure they learn proper penmanship skills! 

While good penmanship skills produce beautiful handwriting, it's benefits far outweigh its aesthetic value. 

Here's 6 reasons why you absolutely must make sure your children learn to write legibly and beautifully:

1. Develops Fine Motor Skills

The more children use their fine motor skills, the better this area of the brain develops, otherwise known as the cerebellum. Penmanship is one way in which children can put their fine motor skills to use.

 Well-developed fine motor skills are critical to a child's ability to become good at many things including, but not limited to,  drawing, painting, sculpting, woodwork, playing a musical instrument, and beading. 

2. Improves the Memory

We need fine motor skills for note-taking. Taking notes by hand helps us remember what we heard better, which, in turn, helps to develop our memories. The more we remember, the stronger our memories become.

“My spelling is Wobbly. It’s good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.”

— A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

3. Fires up the Brain

According to Dr. Ryuta Kawashima, a neuroscientist, writing by hand is one of three activities that stimulates the brain more than any others.

The other two are doing simple math calculations and reading out loud. When children are young, they should write everything by hand so they optimize the use and development of their brains. 

4. Teaches Excellence

Learning to do anything well is critical to a child's understanding of excellence. Becoming good at a skill requires perseverance and diligence, two critical qualities that will help us excel at any skill we tackle.

 It's critical that we hold high standards for our children, so they learn to hold high standards for themselves. Having our children develop good penmanship skills is one of the ways we can help them become good at something and learn to hold a high standard for themselves.

5. More "Screen-free" Time

When children write by hand, they are not staring at a screen with all of the side effects that come from screen use, such as health problems, mental health issues, social awkwardness, and delayed brain development.

6. Improves Writing Skills

When we write by hand, we are forced to slow down which gives us time to be more thoughtful, choose more precise words, and better structure our sentences. 

According to a study in the British Journal of Psychology, students who write essays by hand were found to compose essays of better quality all around. Which also means that they'll do better in school.

“...the beauty and nobility, the august mission and destiny, of human handwriting.”

— George Bernard Shaw, Pygmalion

Final Thoughts

Failing to teach our children good penmanship skills is negligent of us, as children need to learn penmanship for all of the above mentioned reasons. 

Start them young, so they develop the proper hand muscles and are in the habit of writing by hand before it occurs to them that they could be writing on a computer.

When my children were young, they wrote everything by hand. When they reached their teens, they asked to use my computer, so I bought them their very own electric typewriter! 

They were thrilled. It makes me laugh now to think about it.

But, yes, they still sell electric typewriters, and I recommend you do the same. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated. She also provides you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

#1 Huge Mistake Parents Are Making→

No parent would want to raise their child to be less intelligent than he could be.

Yet, every single day, around the world, parents are doing one critical thing that gets in the way of their children’s intellectual development. 

Their children are spending way too much time on screens. Whether it’s for educational purposes or simple entertainment, screens are screens. 

The Hard Facts

From one study by Hikaru Takeuchi, et al, “Excessive internet use is shown to be cross sectionally associated with lower cognitive functioning and reduced volume of several brain areas.”

According to Common Sense Media’s latest research, 50% of teens report that they feel addicted to their phones while 59% of their parents say the teens are addicted.

That’s a lot of teens who are addicted to their phones.

The younger a child is, the more damaging technology is to the development of his brain. This is a hard fact of science.

Effects on the Growing Brain

Technology use in childhood interferes with the neural connections in the brain, and it is the neural connections that make up our intelligence. 

Logic would have it that the less neural connections a brain makes, the less intelligent an individual would become. 

We are seeing first-hand the evidence of the numbing effect technology has on children’s minds with a new generation of tech babies who have come of age.

There are so many studies reporting the ill effects of technology on the brains of children.

It cannot be argued otherwise unless you have billions of dollars and spread false propaganda to sell your products like the video game lobby does.

Video games alone pull in 300 billion dollars per year! The industry pays lobbyists to convince congressmen that video games are beneficial.

Inability to Focus and ADHD

We know that technology use interferes with our ability to focus. With so many children playing video games, and so many children diagnosed with ADHD, I wonder how much technology has to do with it?

Maybe instead of medicating our kids, we removed technology from their lives, they might learn to focus better. 

So many adults self-label themselves with ADHD when they don’t have ADHD. People say it so often that it’s become a euphemism for a lack of focus. 

The hard facts of the matter are that we’re spending too much time online. 

True Story

I spoke with a woman once who lost her son to technology. He became addicted as a teenager, and when he finally recovered, she said he was never the same kid.

She didn’t have a strong connection with him like she had with her other children, because the technology had damaged his brain. 

It was a heartbreaking story, and one that will be shared with more and more parents until we come to terms with the truth about technology.

We will serve our children best by getting rid of the gadgets. And be willing to deal with the complaints and the anger your kids will probably display for the first few weeks, because eventually, they’ll get over it. 

You don’t want to lose your kids to technology, as so many parents have. We now have a plethora of addiction centers for withdrawing from technology because the addiction is real.

And each child with a device is a potential victim. 

If you have your kids online for school, drop that too. Homeschooling offline is much easier, more rewarding, and more enjoyable. 

May we ditch the brain-draining, mind-numbing screens and provide our children with a more brain-activating, mind-developing experience instead.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

4 Reasons Your Kids Should Skip Halloween This Year→

I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.

Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.

But now, I stand on the side of those who think we should ban Halloween.

#1 Health & Mixed Messages

Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.

Do you have any idea how much sugar they consume? The average child consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!

Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.

The gross amount of sugar consumption creates severe sugar spikes in our children's blood levels, leaving them feeling not so well.

Overeating candy comes with the underconsumption of wholesome foods, which only exacerbates the problem.

Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table— wow.

I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate the intention behind this gesture, is it sending our kids the right message?

We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.

How can turning our kids into greedy candy peddlers be a solution?

#2 Manners & Strangers

We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year, we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.

One gutsy moment for me as a child happened on my way home from school. I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day of sitting in classrooms.

At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with stomach pains from hunger, we had this bright idea.

We could trick-or-treat!

We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?"

She gave us some candy anyway.

As a mother reflecting on the idea of trick or treating, it strikes me as being a contradiction of everything we’ve taught our children thus far.

We teach them that it's not polite to ask for things, yet once a year, it is permitted. We teach our kids not to speak to strangers and NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet once a year, it is permissible.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rules, but this one seems to go a little too far.

#3 Corporate Horror Show

Halloween has become a creepy holiday; the decorations have become gothic and violent since the corporate world has recognized it’s money-making potential.

When we were little, we had innocent little costumes: princesses and cowboy outfits. You could be a witch if you wanted, but the witch was harmless.

In my old neighborhood, a neighbor had gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved and looked like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, my kids used to get scared because the scene looked so real.

So did I!

And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor in the town next to us would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror movie. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.

Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.

#4 Waste & Starvation

I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.

For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste.

The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly. (2022 stats)

My god, that's shameful.

What Can Kids Do Instead of Trick or Treating?

1. Have a costume party

2. Start a local fund and ask people to donate $5.00—instead of buying a pumpkin—and then use the money to donate food to a local charity.

3. Study the history of Halloween, the practice of Halloween, and the contradictions of Halloween, and ask your children to take a position for or against it and write an age-appropriate essay.

What You Should Not Do

1. Don’t take a stance of moral superiority if you decide to skip Halloween.

I had a friend once whose children would stay home on Halloween. When the neighborhood kids knocked on their door, they would offer candy and then explain to them why they didn’t celebrate Halloween.

The unspoken was that the family was morally superior to those ill-fated enough to knock on their door, and no one accepted candy from that family without feeling a little less good about themselves.

Instead, teach your children that everyone is entitled to their beliefs and to their opinions, just as your children are entitled to their own.

While your children may not always agree with other people, they do need to respect other people’s ways because each person on earth is worthy of being treated with respect and dignity.

And lastly, if you decide to skip Halloween, don’t give candy to other people’s children. Put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door and leave it at that.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Should You Teach Your Children That "He" Is a Politically-Incorrect Pronoun?→

No, because it is potentially dangerous not to teach the grammatically correct usage of “he.”

In Defense of Language

Defenders of language are opposed to the idea of gender-neutralizing language, as are many, many others.

So I was not a little taken aback when a friend told me that I should replace the pronoun "he" with "they" in my writing.

Her concern was that people would think I was literally writing about boys rather than understanding "he" is a centuries-old pronoun that stands in place of an antecedent noun that could be of either sex.

Dumb-founded by my friend’s reasoning, I asked a couple of my grammarian friends if they had encountered this same concern. Maybe their being British had some bearing on my findings, but each emphatically said, "No!"

If you read Mr. Gwynne's Grammar, a best seller in England, you will find a section on the use of the pronoun "he." Mr. Gwynne makes a point of differentiating between “sex” and “gender.”

“The word to indicate whether someone is male or female is ‘sex,’ not ‘gender,’ which is purely a grammatical term.”

— Mr. Gwynne

Basic Grammar

Assigning gender to a noun is woven into the structure of many languages, including the Romance languages. The gender of a noun will determine which form of an adjective or pronoun should accompany it.

For example, in Latin, “mensa” is a feminine noun that means "table.” To say " the beautiful table," we use the adjective’s feminine form of “beautiful” to agree with the feminine gender of “table,” hence, “mensa pulchra.”

French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese and Romanian follow a similar structure.

As you can see, gender in language has nothing to do with an individual's biological sex regardless of claims to the contrary, although there is of course some overlap when human beings and animals of the female sex are being referred to.

As reason would have it, therefore, the correct use of the pronoun "he," to stand in place of a noun that could be of either sex, is not sexist but grammatically correct.

For example, let’s take this sentence as an example: “If we teach a child to read too early, he may struggle to read well later.”

“He” stands in the place of “child,” who could be either a boy or a girl.

“I’ve studied authoritarianism for a very long time - for 40 years - and they’re started by people’s attempts to control the ideological and linguistic territory”

— Jordan Peterson

Language Does Matter

Using language correctly does matter. If you’re unsure of how much our freedom of speech depends upon the correct use of language, read George Orwell’s book, 1984.

Our language is the means through which we understand ourselves and the world in which we live. When we start meddling with one of its basic units, we do so with potentially disastrous results, such as being confused about the biological difference between a man or a woman.

There's a sort of madness at play here.

My point is that if you are a homeschooling parent teaching your child English grammar, please teach him that "he" is a centuries-old pronoun and cannot be replaced with “they".

Instead, teach your child that “he” replaces the antecedent noun when the noun could be of either sex, and we cannot afford to lose him!

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Raising Stellar Kids Begins With Our Habits!→

We impact our children’s character development every single day through our own behavior.

Yet, we don’t stop often enough to reflect upon the messages we send our children through our words and actions — even the expressions on our face.

For example, a common habit which we all have today is spending time on our phones around our children.

The typical scenario looks like this: We’re texting a friend or maybe we’re surfing the web when the child asks for something. We reply by telling him to wait as we continue looking at our screen.

The child begins to whine, and we mumble to him that we’ll be there in a second. But we’re not there in a second.

The message a child gets is that the phone is more important than he is.

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

— Phyllis Diller

Those two minutes we intend to spend on the phone can add up to hours in a day, and the hours in a day, over time, can add up to weeks and so on and so on.

To put things in perspective, in 2023, the average person will spend 3.15 hours on their phone every day; 12.6 hours per week; 50.4 hours per month; 604.8 hours per year.

You can see what a strong message we give our kids when we take a “quick” glance at our phones.

In addition, our kids will probably grow up to repeat the same pattern with their children. Don’t you find yourself repeating patterns that were once your parents?

I’m not suggesting we should cater to our child’s every whim, only that we should be diligent in the way we show up for our kids.

We can replace the smartphone with any bad habit, such as, eating junk food or eating too much; not exercising, using bad language, not keeping our word, gossiping, telling too many “white” lies, or working too much.

Our bad habits become examples for our children, so if we want to raise our kids well, we have to start by working on ourselves.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ”

— Aristotle

Raising kids above the fold takes a combination of factors and one of these factors is our own habits.

We need to reflect on our habits because it’s easy to go through life oblivious to things that seem inconsequential at the moment, but with time they become lessons we teach our children, for better or for worse.

Let’s take inventory of our habits; the things we think, say, and do — are they messages that will serve us and serve our children well over time?

If not, let’s work to replace those bad habits with good habits.

Start with one bad habit, conquer it, and then choose another. To try and tackle many bad habits at once would be to invite defeat. One step at a time in replacing the bad with the good while we adopt better habits for ourselves.

Be specific with ourselves about precisely what bad habit we are replacing with what good habit, so every time we find ourselves falling back into the bad one, we can quickly self-correct by replacing it with the good habit.

It’s not until our children are older and have developed their own habits, values, and beliefs that we come face-to-face with our own shortcomings.

We’ll naturally become more effective parents if we become aware of the little things we do that add up to the big lessons we teach.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

What Key Trait Do Independent Thinkers Possess?→

It's easy to adorn oneself according to the latest fad, but it’s not so easy to stand in one’s truth when it goes against mob rule.

Learning to think and act independently requires courage: the courage to do what's right and just even in the face of ridicule, the loss of friends, or a loss of income.

John Taylor Gatto was an excellent example. He quit teaching when he was in his 60s, because he discovered that schools were causing more harm to children than good.

As a public schoolteacher, he believed that he was a part of the problem.

John sent an op-ed to the Wall Street Journal and announced his decision to quit teaching in schools. When you are a couple of years away from retirement and a pension plan, it takes a lot of courage to walk away.

“Character is higher than intellect.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sporting purple hair and nose rings is not a sign of an independent character. People who dye their hair crazy colors and fill their bodies with tattoos and rings are following a group-think fad in spite of their belief to the contrary.

We should teach our children to dress well and to conform to outward standards of propriety but to be nonconforming in their attitudes, beliefs and values.

Because the greater independence of the mind is not manifest outwardly; it's an inward state.

To raise our children to be independent in mind, we need to foster courage in their characters.

People often mistake courage for the absence of fear, but the absence of fear can lead to rashness. Courage is not an absence of fear, but the ability to act in spite of one’s fear.

For example, my children performed at piano recitals, recited poetry to small audiences, and attended public speaking classes. Through these kind of activities, they learned to develop their courage muscle.

Permitting your child to run into a local grocery store alone, to climb a tree, or to ride a bike for the first time are all activities that will strengthen his courage.

Every day there will be opportunities to let our children strengthen their courage.

As we know from Aristotle, and as we can observe in our own lives,  our daily habits add up to the quality of our characters.

Children like to challenge themselves, and we need to encourage them to do so. The more they learn to face challenges in spite of the difficulty or discomfort, the more courage they develop.

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”

— Mark Twain

Having courage will also help to preserve their moral integrity, because having moral integrity requires us to stand in our truth both privately and in public.

Someone once told me that I needed to develop a “public” persona. In other words, I should have two selves; one for the public and one for my private life.

But I believe the goal is to have one self.

As Shakespeare said in Hamlet:

“This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Should We Ban Trick-or-Treating?→

I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.

Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.

But now, I stand on the side of those who think we should ban trick-or-treating.

#1 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.

Do you have any idea how much sugar they consume? The average kid consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!

Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.

The gross amount of sugar consumption creates severe sugar spikes in our children's blood levels, leaving them feeling not so well.

Overeating candy comes with the underconsumption of wholesome foods, which only exacerbates the problem.

Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table—wow.

I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate the intention behind this gesture, is it sending our kids the right message?

We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.

How can turning our kids into greedy candy peddlers be a solution? Greed is the #1 problem in the world today, and we are all suffering because of it. We don't want to encourage greediness in our children, do we?

#2 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year, we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.

One shameful moment for me as a kid happened one day on my way home from school. I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day sitting in classrooms.

At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with grumbling stomachs, we had this bright idea.

We could trick-or-treat!

We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?" She gave us some candy anyway.

As an adult looking back, not just on that isolated incident but on the idea of knocking on a stranger's door and asking for candy, isn't this a contradiction?

We teach our kids not to speak to strangers and NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet once a year, it is permissible. We teach them that it's not polite to ask for things, yet once a year, it is permitted.

#3 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

But here's the crux of the matter: Halloween is a creepy holiday; it has gotten even creepier since the corporate world has taken it more seriously.

In my old neighborhood, a neighbor had gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved and looked like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, my kids used to get scared because the scene looked so real.

So did I!

And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor in the town next to us would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror movie. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.

Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.

I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.

For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste. The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly.

My god, that's shameful.

On second thought, we should ban Halloween.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents of school-age children, we guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise more intelligent children of a better character.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA

Should “He” Still Be Taught in Grammar?→

In Defense of Language

Defenders of language are opposed to the idea of gender-neutralizing language, as are those of us working in the field of traditional education.

And many, many others.

So I was not a little taken aback the other day when a friend told me that I should replace the pronoun "he" with "they" in my writing.

His concern was that people would think I was literally writing about boys rather than understanding "he" is a centuries-old pronoun that stands in place of an antecedent noun that could be of either sex.

Let’s take this sentence as an example: “If we teach a child to read too early, he may struggle to read well later.”

“He” stands in the place of “child,” who could be either a boy or a girl.

Surprised by my friend’s reasoning, I asked a couple of my grammarian friends if they had encountered this same concern. Maybe their being British had some bearing on my findings, but each emphatically said, "No!"

If you read Mr. Gwynne's Grammar, a best seller in England, you will find a section on the use of the pronoun "he." Mr. Gwynne makes a point of differentiating between “sex” and “gender,” the word “sex being a purely biological term and the word “gender” being a purely grammatical term.

“The word to indicate whether someone is male or female is ‘sex,’ not ‘gender,’ which is purely a grammatical term.”

— Mr. Gwynne

Basic Grammar

Assigning gender to a noun is woven into the structure of many languages, including the Romance languages. The gender of a noun will determine which form of an adjective or pronoun should accompany it.

For example, in Latin, “mensa” is a feminine noun that means "table.” To say " the beautiful table," we use the adjective’s feminine form of “beautiful” to agree with the feminine gender of “table,” hence, “mensa pulchra.”

French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese and Romanian follow a similar structure.

As you can see, gender in language has nothing to do with an individual's biological or wishful sex regardless of claims to the contrary, although there is of course some overlap when human beings and animals of the female sex are being referred to.

As reason would have it, therefore, the correct use of the pronoun "he," to stand in place of a noun that could be of either sex, is not sexist but is grammatically correct.

“I’ve studied authoritarianism for a very long time - for 40 years - and they’re started by people’s attempts to control the ideological and linguistic territory”

— Jordan Peterson

Language Does Matter

Using language correctly does matter.

Our language is the means through which we understand ourselves and the world in which we live. When we start meddling with one of its basic units, we do so with potentially disastrous results, such as being confused about the biological difference of a man or a woman.

There's a sort of madness at play here.

My point is that if you are a homeschooling parent teaching your child English grammar, please teach him that "he" is a centuries-old pronoun and cannot be replaced with “they".

Instead, teach your child that “he” replaces the antecedent noun when the noun could be of either sex, and we cannot afford to lose him!

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents of school-age children, we guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise more intelligent children of a better character.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA