10 Gifts for Your Child that Won’t Disappoint!

When we buy a gift for our child, we want it to light up his face.

At the same time, we don't want to overindulge our children with toys that clutter up their rooms and spoil their characters.

To find a happy medium, I’ve created a list of ten gifts that will make your child happy and benefit his brain.

1. The Proverbial Book

Most young children enjoy receiving a book as a gift. You can buy a beautiful edition of a particular book with leather binding or a fancy edition of the book that includes a slipcase.

If your child is younger, choose a cleverly illustrated book like Mother Goose by Silvia Long or Aesop’s Fables by Chronicle Books. For a gift, I would stick to the classics.

Classics have stood the test of time, and your children will cherish them for many years to come, even unto adulthood.

2. Brain Cells at Work

No child ever tires of putting together a puzzle, and how wonderful it is for the budding brain cells. Your child will develop his reasoning and problem-solving skills, he exercises his hand-eye coordination, he builds his sensory/motor skills (lots of pinching, picking, and putting tasks involved), and he feels happy when he accomplishes his mammoth feat.

The latter also helps to build his confidence. Who would have thought your child could gain so much from a puzzle!

The wooden puzzle sets by Melissa and Doug are all-time favorites for younger children. 

For older children, you can try something like a colorful map of Europe.

3. Rainy Day Activities

Rainy days and long summer nights are perfect times for playing board games. Depending upon your child's age, you can buy him games that he'll enjoy playing with friends and family.

Think of games such as Chutes and Ladders, Checkers, and even chess. Board games are perfect for building social skills, especially the art of losing well.

4. Discovering Where Timbuktu Is

Children love playing cards. If you'd like to contribute to your child's education, buying a card game that teaches the countries of the world or the fifty states and capitals is perfect.

Sadly, most children don't learn much geography anymore. But with a good game of cards, your child won’t be one of them.

5. Playing Queen for the Day

A “make-your-own-jewelry” set is better suited for girls because girls love their jewelry! Making jewelry is a lot of fun, it's creative, and the jewelry can be given away as gifts. Children, therefore, will also learn the much-appreciated virtue of generosity. This kit is complete, and the price is reasonable too.

Girls Jewelry Making Kit

6. Rocket Man

And boys love rockets! Actually, all the children will have fun making this rocket from a soda bottle and baking soda. The kit comes with instructions, all the supplies you need, and it's easy to do.

The Water Bottle Model Rocket is suitable for children six through the early teens. The water rocket is another activity that is fun to do with other children and encourages cooperation.

7. More Than Just Another Puzzle

Children love brain games. Rubric cubes are a lot of fun, but the wooden brain puzzles are even better. Your child will spend hours trying to figure out the problem, and a child who stays at it long enough is bound to eventually figure it out.

Patience is the name of the game with this kind of puzzle, and patience is a virtue. A brain puzzle is a perfect way to learn a little patience.

Warning: only buy one puzzle. The kits with multiple puzzles will dilute your child’s attention, and he’ll be less likely to solve the mystery. 

8. Stencil Kit

A stencil kit is probably not the first gift that pops into your mind when thinking of a gift for your child, but the truth is that children love to stencil. It's another activity that your child can do with friends, alone, or even while traveling; and it'll keep him occupied for hours.

Children will naturally compliment each other’s work, too, which is another opportunity to learn generosity and kindness towards others.

9. A Musical Adventure

Many children miss the story of Peter and the Wolf, composed by Sergie Prokofiev. Peter and the Wolf is a classical composition that introduces the musical instruments of a symphony through a story about Peter and the Wolf.

Children love to listen to this piece, and they may even show an interest in a particular instrument, which is a great way to get them into the world of classical music.

Musical training will teach your child many virtues, including discipline and perseverance. It also gives him an interest that will elevate his character rather than then let society drag it down.

Peter and the Wolf is the perfect place to start and the ideal gift for your child.

10. The Gift of Andrew Jackson

When all else fails, there's always the 20 dollar bill. Children love to receive money, so don't feel bad if for some reason you can’t buy something. The 20 dollar bill could turn out to be his favorite gift!

It's also an excellent way to introduce your child to the value of a dollar and how to spend it wisely on something worth buying.

The best way to deliver this gift is to buy a money card from your local gift shop and then get a crisp twenty-dollar bill from the bank.

The Don’ts of Buying Children’s Gifts

If you are buying a gift for someone else’s child, you want to be sure to follow these guidelines:

  1. Do not buy any toys that make noise (the parents will never forgive you).

  2. Do not buy anything electronic (parents are struggling enough with their children and technology).

  3. Do not buy candy (many parents do not appreciate this).

That said, if you follow the suggestions above, you will not only make yours or someone else’s child very happy, but you’ll help them become better people too. 

Join the FREE Masterclass: Top 3 Secrets to Homeschooling for Success (Your kids will thank you when they’re grown!) by Liz Hanson

Get a copy of Liz’s homeschooling Bible, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fair to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with Essays by John Taylor Gatto and Dorothy Sayers.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

Is Thanksgiving a Celebration of Massacre?

When it comes to the holiday of "Thanks" giving, I hear people spouting rhetoric about how we are celebrating a massacre of innocent people; and I can't help but think we have fallen deeper into the rhetoric of divisiveness generated by political motives that are not in our best interest.

I have celebrated the holiday of "Thanks" giving my entire life, but I have never celebrated the killing of innocent people. 

It was president Lincoln who declared Thanksgiving a national holiday, not to celebrate a massacre but to celebrate a day of gratitude. 

I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, …to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving...

And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him …,

they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.
— President Lincoln

The divisive rhetoric today pitting this group against the other group is an age-old device going back to Julius Caesar's, "Divide and Conquer."

Division is the tactic. Conquer is the goal.

We have fallen into the trap where we point our fingers at one another, while our civil liberties are being eroded and our tax dollars are funding wars of brutality.

Yet, as the saying goes, there are two sides to every coin. Most of life does not take place in the zones of black and white.

Most of it takes place in the grey zone;  the zone that's up for interpretation. And not one of us has absolute knowledge about everything.

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.
— Chief Seattle, Duwamish

History is rife with people overcoming one another in the most heinous of ways. "White" is only one of the many colors of men who have committed brutalities throughout history and who continue to commit them today. 

As I write, I'm sitting at my desk on the soil where the Persians conquered the kingdoms of the Medes and Lydians. 

I'm sitting at my desk on the soil where the Turks massacred the Greeks, Armenians, and the Kurds. 

And I'm sitting at my desk on the continent where Pol Pot committed genocide against the people of Cambodia. 

We will be known forever by the tracks we leave.
— Dakota Tribe

To the North of me, the Russians and the Ukrainians are fighting; to the south of me, the Arabs and the Israelis wage war against one another.

This is man's nature - no skin color has a monopoly on brutality. Nonsense!

All men share the same human nature; we are all made up of the same parts, including arrogance and greed. We also share qualities of mercy and generosity.

We are complex beings and life is full of complexities.

So instead of attacking the character of the "white" man on this day, spend it as President Lincoln intended it to be spent, by giving thanks to the Divine for all that we have. 

No matter what difficulties befall us, as long as we are breathing we have something to be grateful for. And as long as we remember this, we'll raise kids who do the same. 

Along with thanks to the Divine, let's celebrate the Native Americans and their beautiful legacy of wisdom on how to live with reverence and respect for all living things. It's a philosophy that we could all reflect on more. 

Honor the sacred. Honor the Earth, our Mother. Honor the Elders. Honor all with whom we share the Earth:-Four-leggeds, two-leggeds, winged ones, Swimmers, crawlers, plant and rock people. Walk in balance and beauty.
— Native American Elder

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Thoughts on Gratitude to Brighten Your Day.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually, start with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

6 Ways Public Schools Cause More Harm Than Good

Public school is toxic for a child’s heart and mind. When we understand the agenda behind it, we’ll do everything in our power to protect our kids, just like we do when we put medicine out of their reach.

Below is an excerpt from an essay by John Taylor Gatto which explains why public schools are such unhealthy places for our kids. It’s an essay no parent will want to miss.

The Short, Angry History of Compulsory  Schooling

Theorists from Plato to Rousseau knew well, and explicitly taught, that if children could be kept childish beyond the natural term, if they could be cloistered in a society of children, if they could be stripped of responsibility, if their inner lives could be starved by removing the insights of historians, philosophers, economists, novelists, and religious figures, if the inevitability of suffering and death could be removed from daily consciousness and replaced with the trivializing emotions of greed, envy, jealousy, and fear then young people would grow older but they would never grow up.

In this way a great enduring problem of supervision would be decisively minimized, for who can argue against the truth that childish and childlike people are far easier to manage than accomplished critical thinkers.

With this thought in mind, you're ready to hear the six purposes of modern schooling I found in Dr. Inglis' book. The principles are his, just as he stated them nearly 100 years ago, some of the interpretive material is my own.

1st Function

The first function of schooling is adjustive. Schools are to establish fixed habits of reaction to authority.

Fixed habits.

Of course this precludes critical judgement completely. If you were to devise a reliable test of whether someone had achieved fixed habits of reaction to authority, notice that requiring obedience to stupid orders would measure this better than requiring obedience to sensible orders ever could.

You can't know whether someone is reflexively obedient until you can make them do foolish things.

2nd  Function

Second is the diagnostic function. School is to determine each student's proper social role, logging evidence mathematically and anecdotally on cumulative records.

3rd Function

Third is the sorting function. Schools sort children by training individuals only so far as their likely destination in the social machine and not one step further. So much for making boys and girls their personal best.

4th Function

The fourth function is conformity. As much as possible, kids are to be made alike. As egalitarian as this sounds, its purpose is to assist market and government research, people who conform are predictable.

5th Function

The fifth function Inglis calls "the hygienic function”. It has nothing to do with bodily health. It concerns what Darwin, Galton, Inglis, and many important names from the past and present would call, "the health of the race."

Hygiene is a polite way of saying that school is expected to accelerate natural selection by tagging the unfit so clearly they will drop from the reproduction sweepstakes.

That's what all those little humiliations from first grade onward, and all the posted lists of ranked grades are really about. The unfit will either drop out from anger, despair, or because their likely mates will accept the school's judgement of their inferiority.

6th Function

And last is the propaedeutic function. A fancy Greek term meaning that a small fraction of kids will quietly be taught how to take over management of this continuing project, made guardians of a population deliberately dumbed down and rendered childish in order that government and economic life can be managed with a minimum of hassle.”

What Will You Do?

And there you have it, in a nutshell, so how will you educate your children?

There was a time when the government schooling agenda was obscure  but that time has passed.

From the incompetency in key subjects to our severely low literacy rates, we have to face the truth.

Our tumbling literacy rates reflect the dumbed-down minds of our people.

If we want to raise children who are not dumbed-down, children who are not lacking in common decency, then we need to do something about it.

And that something is not school.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually, start with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

4 Reasons Your Kids Should Skip Trick-or-Treating

I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.

Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.

But that was then when Halloween was a lot more innocent. Between the food waste and the front lawn horror shows, I now stand on the side of those who think we should skip trick-or- treating.

Here are 4 good reasons for you to ponder:

#1 Health & Mixed Messages

Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.

Here’s a shocking fact to put things in perspective: the average child consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!

Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.

Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table— wow.

One Dentist’s Strategy

I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate his intention, we have to consider the message gestures like these send our children.

We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.

How can turning our kids into candy peddlers be a solution?

#2 Manners & Strangers

We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.

As a mother reflecting on the idea of trick or treating, it strikes me as being a contradiction of everything we’ve taught our children thus far.

My Shameful Story

I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day of sitting in classrooms. At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with pangs of hunger, we had this bright idea.

It was Halloween which meant that we could quell our hunger pangs by trick-or-treating!

We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?"

She gave us some candy anyway.

We teach our children that it's not polite to ask for things, yet, once a year we permit it. We teach our kids not to speak to strangers, yet, once a year we permit it. We teach our kids NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet, once a year we permit it.

Of course, there are always exceptions to rules, but these are a lot of exceptions and all in one night.

#3 Corporate Horror Show

Halloween has become a creepy holiday. The decorations have become gothic and violent since the corporate world has recognized the money to be made on Halloween.

When we were little, we had innocent little costumes: princess and cowboy outfits. Sometimes we threw a sheet over our heads and went out as ghosts. There was nothing more than a pumpkin with a candle burning inside on the doorstep of each home.

Forty years later, my neighbor would put gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved to look like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, the scene looked so real that my kids used to get scared.

So did I!

And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror film. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.

Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.

#4 Waste & Starvation

I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.

For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste.

The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly. (2022 stats)

My god, that's a shameful waste of pumpkins.

What Can Kids Do Instead of Trick-or-Treating?

  1. Have a costume party

  2. Start a local fund and ask people to donate $5.00—instead of buying a pumpkin—and then use the money to donate food to a local charity.

  3. Study the history of Halloween, the practice of Halloween, and the contradictions of Halloween, and ask your children to take a position for or against it. Then let them have a debate with the opposing party or write an age-appropriate essay arguing their side of the argument.

What You Should Not Do

Don’t take a stance of moral superiority if you decide to skip Halloween.

I had a friend whose children would stay home on Halloween. When the neighborhood kids knocked on their door, they would offer candy and then explain why they didn’t celebrate Halloween.

The unspoken was that the family was morally superior to those who knocked on their door. I’m pretty sure that no one accepted candy from said family without feeling “less than.”

Instead, use it as an opportunity to teach your children that everyone is entitled to their beliefs and to their opinions, just as you and your children are entitled to their own.

While we may not always agree with other people, we need to respect other people’s ways because each person is born with an inherent dignity that is worthy of respect.

What do you think? Let me know in the comment section.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually, start with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

5 Ways to Encourage Your Child's Love of Learning

baby in box.png

A friend showed me a clip of her nine-month-old baby trying to imitate her mother's expressions. I looked into the baby's eyes as I watched the video and the intense alertness that I witnessed, the acute observation of each facial move in her mother's face, was fascinating.

The baby wanted to know how to make the same faces her mother was making, and she was trying to understand how to do this by conducting a scientific investigation.

It's the intense desire to know that all healthy children possess, yet what happens to their curiosity as they grow older? Why do so many children forsake that infinite sense of wonder that is so innate to each of us? 

No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.
— L. Frank Baum

One of the reasons this happens today is because too many children start school at young ages, and by the time they reach kindergarten, first grade, if they are lucky, the light within them begins to dim.

Consider this: if your child’s desire to explore and understand the world around him is constantly thwarted by a teacher’s dictates, he will begin to give up his investigative work, and his sense of curiosity will eventually wilt.

kid with books mad.png

For example, if a child has a small shovel in his hand, but every time he tries to shovel something a teacher tells him to stop, he will eventually stop picking the shovel up.

When a child cannot follow the lead of his curiosity, or is not in an environment where he can exercise his desire to know, as children who are in daycare and preschools from early ages are, they begin to put their curiosity down. 

If you have a child whose curiosity is waning, or whose curiosity you want to stimulate, here are five things you can do:

  1. If you have to put your child into an outside program, look for a daycare or preschool that is play-based and ideally held in the outdoors, such as a Forest School. Make sure they are operated by people who understand what children need at these tender ages. If you aren't sure what the philosophy for the school is, ask them. Please do not be shy about these matters; after all, this is your child, and you want to make sure he is under the best care.

  2. Immediately remove all screens from your child's life both inside and outside the home. Under no circumstances should you hand him your cell phone to quiet him because you are busy. Screens are a cause of a dimming curiosity; not only that but they will thwart your child's brain development

  3. Do not entertain your child! Let him entertain himself. It is not that you don't ever play with your child, but only that you do not become his full-time playmate. Allow him to follow the dictates of his curiosity and figure things out for himself. Children are little scientists; let him conduct his own experiments. 

  4. Be curious yourself. Take your child into the outdoors and explore with him. Let him walk barefoot on fallen leaves and dip his feet into spring water to awaken his senses. Bring his attention to the songs of birds and the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through them. Collect a bug or two and read about them when you get home. Notice a particular bird sound (my favorite is the red-winged blackbird!) and look the bird up in a reference book or on the internet when you get home. Try to imitate the bird's song with your child. Ask him questions to stimulate a conversation and discover the answers together, such as how birds fly and what foods they eat. 

  5. Lastly, if you can, don't put your child into any school programs until he is at least ten years old. Until then, teach him yourself because so many learning problems take root during those early years. The first few grades of elementary school are easy to teach when you know what you are doing. 

kid exploring.png

Remember that the desire to know is our natural state, but we have this yearning socialized out of us in various ways, the least not being school. Our innate desire to know, however, is still there within us.

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
— Benjamin Franklin

If your child's desire for knowledge has dimmed, trust that you can help him awaken it; because reaching his full potential in life begins with the desire to know.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually please begin with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Teach Your Children the Critical Habit of Discipline!

Discipline is a habit that you want to help your child develop, because it will make a critical difference in his life. Without it, he will struggle to reach his potential, and he will struggle to reach his goals. 

It's an interesting word, discipline. It comes from a Latin word, "disciplīna," which, according to Cassell's Latin Dictionary means "instruction, teaching…in a wider sense, training, education…the result of training, discipline, ordered way of life." 

When we speak about correcting a child's behavior, we use the word "discipline," not necessarily as a punishment, but the idea is to train the child in the habit of doing the right thing, so he grows up to embody good character. 

I say that habits long practice, friend,
And this becomes men’s nature in the end.
— Evanus, Ancient Greek Philosopher and Poet

Which is one of the problems in the way we approach raising children today. We misunderstand the ultimate purpose of discipline and view it as a punishment more than a training in the way of good character.

Hence, the idea of using discipline to punish a child’s misbehavior has become a faulty premise from which some modern parenting theories have evolved. 

As we witness the increase in mental health challenges, which now effect 87% of our children, we have to begin to question the ways in which we are raising children today.

When it comes to raising our children to reach their potential intellectually, physically, morally, and emotionally, as well as acquire personal and professional success, discipline is what’s called for.

We discipline the child, so the child learns how to develop the habits he needs to embody good character and to reach greater heights in life; and one of those habits is the habit of self-discipline.

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
— Epictetus

Most well-accomplished people exercise much self-discipline in their lives. Whether it be a writer who improves his skill by writing every day, a pianist who becomes great through much practice, or an athlete who is at his sports training daily; these people will have acquired the habit of self-discipline. 

There are many areas in our lives that are directly affected by the level of discipline we exercise in our lives;  areas that will be critical to your child's personal and professional success. 

PHYSICAL HEALTH

In maintaining physical health, it's important to exercise discipline in eating well and getting regular exercise. It takes will power to pass up dessert every night, and it takes effort to get into the habit of daily exercise

However, without the self-discipline around diet and exercise, it’s easy to become an overweight adult who develops health problems at earlier ages than one would expect.

Also, exercise helps improve one’s mental well-being, which is a significant component to exercise given the increase in mental issues now.

BECOMING GOOD AT ANYTHING

In developing any skill to a higher level we need to practice, and daily practice takes discipline. If your child learns to play a musical instrument, speak a foreign language or become a good athlete, for example, he will have to practice at least five or six days a week.

Daily practice is how we attain levels of mastery and excellence. And having self-discipline means that we practice whether we want to or not.

It's easy when we want to do something, but it's doing it when we don't want to that will make the difference. Those that learn to keep at it are the ones who attain a higher level of skill; the rest become dabblers.

INTELLECTUAL PURSUITS

A well-trained mind is predicated upon strong language skills, especially the ability to read well. Your child will need to develop a daily habit of reading, so that he can become a skilled reader. 

Most intellectual pursuits will involve reading, so if he hasn’t developed a love of reading, it may hinder his intellectual pursuits. As he gets older, and the literature requires more of an effort to read, self-discipline will get him through any difficult book.

Even the ability to think independently requires the skill of reading. Without being able to read what others write ourselves, we can never evaluate a situation, an idea, or an event using our own minds.

We will have to rely upon third-party sources to tell us what to think. We want to raise independent thinkers, not followers of the latest popular opinion or belief.

CHARACTER MATTERS MOST

Habits are the result of the choices we make in life. Aristotle said that the sum total of our habits determines the quality of our character. If we want to raise children of good character, we have to inculcate the quality of discipline in them, because they need discipline to act in the right way and at the right time.

Do we choose to have self-control around food or not? Do we choose to exercise or not? Do we choose to read or not?

To choose to eat well, to choose to exercise daily, to choose to read when we would rather watch a film requires discipline!

Through discipline comes freedom.
— Aristotle

As you can see, self-discipline is one of those qualities that if your child does not develop it, he will be at a disadvantage in his life. Discipline is at the core of everything we do well, which is why its opposite, sloth, is one of the seven deadly sins according to the Catholics. 

Whether you believe in God or not, the lack of discipline will always be deadly to any goal we set, because we can't get there without it. 

And, neither can your child. So help your child develop the habit of acting with discipline, because he'll go much further in his life with it than he will without.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling the "whole" child for brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top-20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.

Too many homeschooled kids are not reaching their full potential because parents are struggling with how to raise and educate a "whole" child—a child who is well-developed physically, emotionally, socially, and intellectually—so that their children receive a first-rate education and are well prepared to blossom and succeed in their life's journey.

The Smart Homeschooler Academy, with Liz as your guide, is the answer.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Can You Homeschool Without Feeling Overwhelmed?

Can You Homeschool Without Feeling Overwhelmed?

Being a mother today, with limited or no family support, is a challenge. On our best days we can feel a little like we are going nuts. And then we throw in the idea of homeschooling, at least some of us do, and then we panic for surely we will go nuts! But, it isn't actually like that and somehow most of us manage to keep ourselves relatively sane.

Read More

Are We to Blame for the ADHD Epidemic in Our Children?

Actually, there is no epidemic of ADHD. It is a phantom disorder with no basis in science according to John Rosemond and Bose Ravenel's eye-opening book, The Diseasing of America's Children

Their argument is sound.

The real epidemic is an epidemic of the inability to stay focused because we live in the Age of Distraction. A school-age child's  inability to focus is not a medical disorder; it is the result of a skill he has never developed; the skill of paying attention and staying focused.

Normal, healthy children raised in wholesome ways don't suffer from the inability to focus. Prior to the 1970s when children ran free, learning and behavioral disorders in school were almost unheard of. 

To be precise, only about 1 - 3% of the population in the USA were afflicted with a true disorder. To put this in perspective, during my 1960 / 70s school years, I never had a classmate who was diagnosed with a learning or behavioral disorder.

If a child was amongst the 1 - 3% afflicted with a medical disorder, the disorder was usually too extreme to enter school in the first place. 

So now what? If there is no epidemic of ADHD, and if the real problem is that normal, healthy children are not learning how to focus, what can we do to correct this tragic situation?

It is tragic, too,  because learning to pay attention is no small matter. Any skill we develop or any subject we study is predicated upon our ability to stay focused.

Therefore, a child who learns to focus well will learn more; a child who learns more will become smarter. 

No rocket science here; it's just common sense. The tragedy is that our children are not learning to focus, they are not being well-educated, and, quite frankly, our sinking literacy rates indicate that our kids are not growing up to be as intelligent as they could be either. 

First, let's qualify what we mean by "children." It would make sense that the ability to focus for longer periods would run parallel with the development of the long term memory, which begins around the third year of life.

In order to remember something, we have to stay focused on it long enough to remember it. 

The idea of expecting a child under the age of three to sustain his focus is preposterous; I’m sure no one is doing this! But as the child matures, his ability to focus should increase as well. 

If it is not increasing, it is most likely because the child's environment is not conducive towards learning how to pay attention and stay focused. 

Children develop these skills through the practice of doing them. The question we should be asking is not why so many of our children have ADHD,  but how we can create environments for our children that are conducive towards developing the skill of paying attention and staying focused. 

If we are not providing this kind of an environment for our children, then, yes,  the fault lies with us.

4 WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN FROM THE PHANTOM ADHD EPIDEMIC

  1. Expect your children to listen to you without interruption.  Much of the problem we are dealing with is that children are confused about who is in charge, thanks to all of the proven-not-to-work parenting theories that have been thrust on us since the 1950s.

    Our job is to raise civilized human beings. Civilized human beings in little bodies learn how to focus, because they have parents who train them to listen when they speak, do their chores when they are told to, and generally behave in well-mannered ways.

  2. Create an environment for your children to move around and explore and be independent. Young children have an insatiable curiosity, and this curiosity will lead them to an infinite number of things they will want to pay attention to, all of which will help develop their ability to focus.

     This presupposes your children are not in a preschool, not sitting in front of a television, and not playing with your smart phone.

  3. Keep quality literature in every room in your house for your older children to read. Read stories to all of your children and raise them to read quality books for fun. Reading requires focus. Reading, or listening to someone else read, will strengthen the focus muscle. 

4. Keep your children away from screens! Keep your children away from screens! I'm sorry to tell you this, but there is no way around it.  If you want to raise smarter, happier, well-mannered children, you will need to keep them off of screens. The idea that you can limit their screen time when they are young is rubbish. 

If I'm the only one who is telling you this, it is because I have done my research, I am willing to go against the grain to say what is true, even when it is unpopular, and because I have no financial interest in saying the opposite.

The research tells us to keep screens out of our children’s lives.

It's like putting a child who can't swim into the deep end of a pool, and telling him he can have five minutes in the water. A screen-fed child will drown his mind in a dumbed-down world of distraction and action-packed entertainment.

How will such a child ever learn how to think for himself? 

Think of it this way: when your children are zoning out in front of a screen, they are not reading, socializing, or playing. And they are certainly not doing their chores!

When your children get older and develop a reading habit, consider introducing a movie on the weekends.

Until then, screens will only be an obstacle to engaging in activities that will help your children develop physically, emotionally, and neurologically, all of which will help to strengthen their ability to focus and pay attention. 

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

A Foolproof Tip for Raising More Appreciative Children

"No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough!" is a typical complaint from your average 21st-century parent.

While parents are understandably frustrated, they're little ones are growing up to become entitled adults.

Common strategies employed to battle the empidemic of ingratitude are not working either. The Sermon is a perfect example of a strategy that has failed our children.

THE SERMON

We lecture our kids to be grateful for what they have, and our lectures fall on deaf ears. They have no idea what we are talking about. For the most part, they always had what they need and gotten what they wanted.

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And even if they did register what we said, poor character traits are not conquered by lecturing.

Better not to let the trait develop in the first place!

“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”

— Marcus Aurelius

THE SECRET

The secret, therefore, to teaching your children to appreciate the things you provide for them is to raise them to be minimalists. The less they have, the more appreciative they'll be when you give them more.

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The less you indulge them with their wants, the less they'll come to expect them. When you do give your children a want, they'll be grateful, and they won't forget to say thank you.

The words of true gratitude will come roaring out of them, no prodding needed.

A minimalist philosophy isn't restricted to material goods either. You can apply it to all aspects of your children’s lives by saying “no” to them more than you say “yes.”

John Rosemond calls it Vitamin N. It's not that you want to become a contrarian and rigidly oppose everything your children ask for, but raise them to understand that their wants are not your primary concern.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Provide your children with the things they need for emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual growth, but raise them to understand that the goal of your life is not to indulge them but to raise them well.

This isn't to say that you should never accommodate their wants, but don't make it a habit to give your children too much of what they ask for because children can ask for a lot.

What is the rule of when to give and when to give not?

It’s simple: say no 75% of the time and say yes 25% of the time. If you practice this ratio of yes’s to no’s, you’ll see the gratitude scale climb steadily in your home.

A golden parenting rule to remember is that you aren't responsible for making your children happy; that’s up to them to figure out.

And they’ll discover the secret to happiness much faster when you indulge them less.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Don't Teach Your Children About Diversity!

One of the beauties of homeschooling is that we can protect our children from political agendas that don't serve mankind, and the diversity issue may be one of them.

It mirrors the old military strategy of Julius Caesar's, "divide and conquer."

And Julius Caesar was no dummy.

So why is diversity the wrong conversation to have with your children? The best illustration for arguing against a topic which has divided so many of us is the example of my mother. 

My mother was different from the social-justice warriors you hear about today. An original warrior, she never preached to anyone, she wasn't spouting angry rhetoric about perceived wrongs, she never felt better than you or me because of the services she did; she just helped where she saw that people needed help.

When I was a young child, my mother was very active in the Civil Rights Movement, a violent and bloody time in America. Despite the dangers, she relentlessly marched with the oppressed in their struggle for equality, more worried about their safety than she was her own.

The World Encyclopedia even included a picture of her and my sister Kathleen, who had both flown across the country to demonstrate with hundreds of other people in the historic march on Selma, Alabama, led by Martin Luther King, Jr., in 1965.

My mother is on the left, my sister is holding the sign.

As I became a young woman, my mother, who was now middle-aged, served on the board for the homeless people where she listened to their stories, helped them get shelter, and assisted people in getting back on their feet.

She said to me once that homeless people weren't the bums others thought they were; they were usually people who'd had some hardship in life with no one to fall back on for support, and they'd ended up on the streets. 

Her heart always went out to the underserved amongst us.

When I hit my middle-ages, my mother, who was now an old woman, served as a volunteer teaching the Hispanic community English. She did that until she became ill at the age of ninety. 

To my mother, each life mattered because each life contained a human heart and that human heart possessed inherent dignity and worth. That was the ideal my mother embodied and lived by.

Color, religion, race; those weren't labels she understood.

She recognized that we all suffer the loss of loved ones, we all worry about our children, most of us struggle with our siblings, some of us wonder if God exists and many of us question why so much killing and suffering happens in the name of religion.  

There’s more sameness in us than there is difference.

The Diversity Rhetoric Questioned

Some years back, after my mother passed away, I had a series of experiences which led me to question the new diversity rhetoric that had emerged, such as the time I was asked to give a talk on education to a group of mothers from varying backgrounds. 

In defense of diversity, a woman of color felt it her duty to ask me why I only promoted books written by white people. Well, I don't, I explained. I promote books for the quality of the writing and content, not because of the skin color of the author. 

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
— Rumi

The fact is that there are only six canons of great literature in the world and one of them belongs to the West.

I had wanted to introduce these women to our body of great books for children—not all of whom were written by white people—but this particular mom could only see the color of my skin and what she thought was the color of the authors' skin. 

Another experience was with a friend who espoused diversity ideals. When Trump became president, this particular friend of mine from an Eastern country grew livid and said to me,  "The white people have shown their true colors!" 

I had never seen my friend in terms of her skin color, yet she had just revealed that that was exactly how she saw me. I was her "white" friend and now my people had shown their true colors. 

But the experience that took the cake was when an academic corrected me after I objected to the racism of a certain "movement"  which  was in vogue at the time. 

She informed me that I could not accuse other people of being racist because I was white and only white people were racist. Her lack of logical reasoning dumbfounded me.

When you have lived in many different countries, as I have, you learn about  different cultures and different ways of viewing the world. I can tell you first-hand that I have never met a people who did not think they were better than another people.

In every country I’ve lived in, there’s always been the majority group who believed they were better than the minority group or they were better than the people of a neighboring country.

And then there's the individuals; us. Have you ever known an individual who did not express a judgement on another individual, either verbally or by inference?

We expose our petty, self-righteous arrogance every day; she gossips too much, he's too ambitious, he's too materialistic, she's too bossy. 

Whatever they is, we is above it, right?

We’re all islands shouting lies to each other across seas of misunderstanding.
— Rudyard Kipling

We all contain seeds of the virtues in our hearts such as compassion, generosity, temperance.

However, our hearts also contain seeds of the vices, such as envy, anger, greed.

But the crowning vice is arrogance, and some of us cultivate the roots of it more than we like to admit, even to ourselves.

Yet, what is racism, if not arrogance?

The Danger of the Group

There are a lot of diverse groups in America and they largely stick to their own kind. Maybe it's a kind of religion; or a kind of race, or a kind of political ideology, but "groups" tend to keep to their own, which makes sense because, after all, they are groups.

But there is something dangerous about  a clustering of kind when we base our identity on the "group" we belong to and see people outside of the "group" as the "other."

Barbara Coloroso, a parenting expert who had studied the genocide in Rwanda, said that the seeds of  genocide take root when we objectify a group of people as "other."

Rather than see them as fellow human beings traveling with us through the journey of life, we see them as "different" from us. 

And that's the crux of the matter. When we teach about diversity, we are teaching about differences, we are teaching about the "other."

If we allow our identity to be based on the identity of a particular  group  instead of our shared humanity, we lose sight of the inward bonds of our collective hearts. 

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
— Mother Teresa

It's not that we can't be a member in a group, but let's not be of the group. And if we have to identify with a group, then let's identify with the group of human beings who shed tears of joy and sorrow for all the same things.

That was the group to which my mother belonged.

Instead of teaching our children about our differences, I'm suggesting we raise our children to focus on our samenesses.

Genocide is genocide; it doesn't matter who is committing it or who it's being committed against. 

When it comes to the innocent slaughter of women and children; regardless of their race, religion, or color, who are we being if we don't stand on the side of mercy?

Who are we when we raise our children to think in terms of "otherness" instead of the common bond of the human heart?

When we dismiss a child's book, not on whether or not the book is worth reading, but because of the skin color of the authors, haven't we ourselves nurtured the seed of genocide?

Upcoming FREE Masterclass! Discover 3 Homeschooling Mistakes No One Tells You About
with Liz Hanson

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Don't Homeschool If Your Children Have This One Bad Habit!

The most frequent complaint I get from homeschooling moms is that their children don't listen to them. It's more than just a complaint  because  for a homeschooling mom, not listening is a serious issue.

Children who don't listen, won't obey and children who don't obey, won't get their work done. Which means that you, the homeschooling parent, will struggle  to do your job well. 

The essence of successful discipline is not technique; rather, it is self-confidence.
— John Rosemond, author, A Family of Value

However, I am not suggesting that you put your children into school; but only to train them to listen before you continue homeschooling. After all, the skill of listening is a vital skill and one children must be taught.

An Effective Approach

The most effective approach would be to stop homeschooling for a short period until you get your relationship back on course with your children. 

The reason for this is because the frustration everyone is feeling from the tug of war around studying is probably causing a lot of tension, and your children may develop a negative association with homeschooling if it continues. 

Once your children decide that homeschooling is no fun, instead of one problem, you’ve now got two. So a break is the best strategy for this situation.

But rather than announce you are putting homeschooling on hold until they learn to obey,  announce that next week will be a homeschool break week. You don't need to offer any reason other than, "Because I said so!". 

The Crux of the Matter

Now, you can focus on the issue which, at the core, is a problem of disrespect. Like most parents in the West, your children are not showing you the respect you deserve. 

It's a societal problem for various reasons including, but not limited to, the negative influences on children via multi-media and technology, as well as the push for modern parenting practices that sound great in theory but haven’t worked. 

While there are multiple strategies that should be employed in your efforts to correct your relationship with your children, we'll focus on the primary tactic of assuming the role of leadership.

As two captains will sink a ship, you and your spouse will have to show up as one. In other words, you have one voice. What one says, the other supports, at least in front of the children. Any disagreements you have regarding your children, must be discussed privately.

Successful Parenting Traits

It's critical to understand the traits of successful parents, so you can learn to imitate them until they become your traits, too.

Successful parenting leadership…

  • They are decisive

  • They communicate clear expectations

  • They hold their children accountable

  • They assume authority (not to be confused with "authoritarian")

  • They set clear boundaries

  • They give their children age-appropriate responsibilities

  • They do not bend down to their children's level; they let their children look up to them

If this list sounds too authoritarian, it may be in comparison to the modern advice you've probably been given. 

The question to ask yourself is, how's that working?

Your children need to see you as the authority, someone worthy of respect, someone they can trust to keep their word, and a role model they can emulate.

You want to be a good influence for your children, so you can guide them towards developing good character and excelling in your homeschool. Like us, they won't emulate someone they do not respect. 

The more attention you pay to your child, the less attention he will pay to you.
— John Rosemond

Once you have successfully established your boundaries by assuming the role of leader, your children will listen and obey you and homeschooling will be more fun and fruitful. 

Effective parenting leadership must include unconditional  love, but I know you have that part covered. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

The Six Purposes of Schooling by John Taylor Gatto

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When people ask me why I homeschooled, I tell them I had no choice. If they knew what I knew about public education, they would homeschool too.

John Taylor Gatto was the man who opened my eyes to the nefarious agenda behind institutionalized schooling. What follows is a transcription of the key section from John’s classic speech and opus, The Underground History of American Education.

John was a brilliant and well-researched man. I have read what is below in Ingles’ book myself; it is all true.   

Transcription of John’s Talk

“I have something here.  I have the six purposes of schooling [from the book Principles of Secondary Education by Alexander James Inglis] as laid down in 1917 by the man whom Harvard named their Honor Lecture in Education for. 

So far from being a fringe individual, this guy is the reason the Harvard Honor Lecture in Education is named as it is:  The Inglis Lecture.  I would like to read you the six purposes of schooling.  I moved heaven and earth as it took years to find this book [Principles of Secondary Education]--just like trying to find in past years a copy of the Carol Quigley [book] Tragedy and Hope.  

I learned about Inglis from a twenty year President of Harvard [1933-1953], James Bryant Conant, who was a poison gas specialist in World War I--and was in the very inner circle of the Atomic Bomb Project in World War II--was High Commissioner of Occupied Germany after the War. 

So he [James Bryant Conant] wrote--there must be 20 books about the institution of schooling--of which he was completely a proponent.  And he is a very, very bad writer.  I forced myself to read most of these books, and one of them he says that if you really want to know what school is about, you need to pick up the book that I’m referring to Principles of Secondary Education

Two years it took me to find a copy of the book [Principles of Secondary Education by Alexander James Inglis]--750 pages, tiny print and as dull as your imagination can be.  And furthermore, it is not till you get to the very middle of the book--in an unlabelled section--that he spills the beans.  Let me spill them for you.  

 There are six purposes, or functions, as he calls them.  The first he [Alexander Inglis] calls the Adjustive Function: Schools are to establish fixed habits of reaction to authority.  That’s their main purpose--habits and reactions to authority. 

That is why school authorities don’t tear their hair out when somebody exposes that the Atomic Bomb wasn’t dropped on Korea, as a history book in the 1990s printed by Scott Foresman [did], and why each of these books has hundreds of substantive errors.  Learning isn’t the reason the texts are distributed.  

The Adjustive Function

So, first is the Adjustive Function--fixed habits.  Now here comes the wonderful insight that being able to analyze the detail will give you.  How can you establish whether someone has successfully developed this Automatic Reaction because people have a proclivity when they are given sensible orders to follow. 

That is not what they want to teach.  The only way you can measure this is to give stupid orders and people automatically follow those.  Now you have achieved Function #1.  

The Integrating Function

Have you ever ever wondered why some of the foolish things that schools do or allow to continue?  [Function] #2, he [Inglis] calls it the Integrating Function, but it is easier to understand if you call it the Conformity Function. 

It’s to make children alike as possible--the gifted children and the stupid--alike as possible because market research uses statistical sampling, and it only works if people react generally the same way.  

The Directive Function

The Third Function he calls the Directive Function: School is to diagnose your proper social role and then log the evidence that here is where you are on the Great Pyramid, so that future people won’t allow you to escape that compartment.  

The Differentiating Function

 The Fourth Function is the Differentiating Function.  Because once you have diagnosed the kids in this layer, you do not want them to learn anything that the higher layers are learning.  So you teach just as far as the requirement of that layer.  

The Selective Function

 Number five and six are the creepiest of all!  Number 5 is the Selective Function.  What that means is what Darwin meant by natural selection: You are assessing the breeding quality of each individual kid.  You’re doing it structurally because school teachers don’t know this is happening. 

And you’re trying to use ways to prevent the poor stuff from breeding.  And those ways are hanging labels--humiliating labels--around their neck, encouraging the shallowness of thinking.

 I often wondered, because I came from a very very strict Scotish-Irish culture that never allowed you to leer at a girl.  But when I got to NYC, the boys were pawing the girls openly and there was no redress for the girls at all, except not showing up in the classroom--high absentee rates. 

Well, you are supposed to teach structurally that sexual pleasure is what you withdraw from a relationship and everything else is a waste of time and expensive.  

 So, the Selective Function is what Darwin meant by the favored races.  The idea is to consciously improve the breeding stock.  Schools are meant to tag the unfit with their inferiority by poor grades, remedial placement, and humiliation, so that their peers will accept them as inferior.  And the good breeding stock among the females will reject them as possible partners.  

The Propaedeutic Function

 And the Sixth is the creepiest of all! And I think it is partly what Tragedy and Hope is about--a fancy Roman name, the Propaedeutic Function.  Because as early as Roman bigtime thinkers, it was understood that to continue a social form required that some people be trained that they were the custodians of this.  So, some small fraction of the kids are being ready to take over the project. 

That’s the guy--the honor lecturer [Inglis], and it will not surprise you that his ancestors include the major-general of the siege of the Luknow of India--famous for tying the mutineers’ on the muzzle of the cannons and blowing them apart, or somebody who was forced to flee NYC, a churchman at the beginning of the American Revolution, because he wrote a refutation of Thomas Paine’s Common Sense. 

They were going to tar and feather him.  He fled and was rewarded by the British by making him the Bishop of Nova Scotia.  Those are Inglis’ ancestors!  

 So, Al Inglis is certainly--when I learned of this and wrote to Harvard, asking for access to the Inglis Lecture.  Strike me dead, Lord, if I’m exaggerating at all.  I was told “We have no Inglis Lecture--hasn’t been for years, and we have no records. 

It was the same that happened when I discovered that Elwood B. Cubberly, the most influential schoolman of the 20th century and the bionomics genius had been the elementary school editor of Houghton Mifflin, and I wrote Houghton Mifflin--Is there any record? And they said, “We have no record of anyone named Elwood P. Cubberly. 

harvard.png

Now Harvard is telling me, “There is no Inglis Lecture.  A week passed and I got a call from Harvard, from some obscure office at Harvard, saying “What is your interest in the Ingles Lecture?”  I knew that I was on thin ice. 

And I said, “Well, James Conant referred me in his books to the man the Inglis Lecture is named after, and I was just wondering if I could get some background on this fellow, and a list of the lectures.  

 And in due time, I got a list of the lectures and instructions [on] how to access the texts, but not easily. Enough hoops that someone who has to mow the lawn and burp the baby wouldn’t jump through those hoops.  I was able to prove Harper’s [magazine] wouldn’t publish [it in] the cover essay I wrote, which Lew Laflin [?] named Against School, but I had called The Artificial Extension of Childhood because I think that is the key mechanism at work here.  

 So, they wouldn’t print the information about Cubberley because Houghton Mifflin denied it.  It was only months after that I looked through my extensive library of incredibly dull books about schooling, and I opened [one]--and on the facing page said Elwood B. Cubberly, Editor and Chief of Elementary School, publishing arm of Houghton Mifflin. 

By the way, the secondary Editor and Chief was Alexander Ingles.  So you see how this cousinage works.” 

*****

*Video transcribed by Roger Copple. To watch the full 12-minute video: The Six Purposes of Schooling [Video]

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