Are We to Blame for the ADHD Epidemic in Our Children?

Actually, there is no epidemic of ADHD. It is a phantom disorder with no basis in science according to John Rosemond and Bose Ravenel's eye-opening book, The Diseasing of America's Children

Their argument is sound.

The real epidemic is an epidemic of the inability to stay focused because we live in the Age of Distraction. A school-age child's  inability to focus is not a medical disorder; it is the result of a skill he has never developed; the skill of paying attention and staying focused.

Normal, healthy children raised in wholesome ways don't suffer from the inability to focus. Prior to the 1970s when children ran free, learning and behavioral disorders in school were almost unheard of. 

To be precise, only about 1 - 3% of the population in the USA were afflicted with a true disorder. To put this in perspective, during my 1960 / 70s school years, I never had a classmate who was diagnosed with a learning or behavioral disorder.

If a child was amongst the 1 - 3% afflicted with a medical disorder, the disorder was usually too extreme to enter school in the first place. 

So now what? If there is no epidemic of ADHD, and if the real problem is that normal, healthy children are not learning how to focus, what can we do to correct this tragic situation?

It is tragic, too,  because learning to pay attention is no small matter. Any skill we develop or any subject we study is predicated upon our ability to stay focused.

Therefore, a child who learns to focus well will learn more; a child who learns more will become smarter. 

No rocket science here; it's just common sense. The tragedy is that our children are not learning to focus, they are not being well-educated, and, quite frankly, our sinking literacy rates indicate that our kids are not growing up to be as intelligent as they could be either. 

First, let's qualify what we mean by "children." It would make sense that the ability to focus for longer periods would run parallel with the development of the long term memory, which begins around the third year of life.

In order to remember something, we have to stay focused on it long enough to remember it. 

The idea of expecting a child under the age of three to sustain his focus is preposterous; I’m sure no one is doing this! But as the child matures, his ability to focus should increase as well. 

If it is not increasing, it is most likely because the child's environment is not conducive towards learning how to pay attention and stay focused. 

Children develop these skills through the practice of doing them. The question we should be asking is not why so many of our children have ADHD,  but how we can create environments for our children that are conducive towards developing the skill of paying attention and staying focused. 

If we are not providing this kind of an environment for our children, then, yes,  the fault lies with us.

4 WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN FROM THE PHANTOM ADHD EPIDEMIC

  1. Expect your children to listen to you without interruption.  Much of the problem we are dealing with is that children are confused about who is in charge, thanks to all of the proven-not-to-work parenting theories that have been thrust on us since the 1950s.

    Our job is to raise civilized human beings. Civilized human beings in little bodies learn how to focus, because they have parents who train them to listen when they speak, do their chores when they are told to, and generally behave in well-mannered ways.

  2. Create an environment for your children to move around and explore and be independent. Young children have an insatiable curiosity, and this curiosity will lead them to an infinite number of things they will want to pay attention to, all of which will help develop their ability to focus.

     This presupposes your children are not in a preschool, not sitting in front of a television, and not playing with your smart phone.

  3. Keep quality literature in every room in your house for your older children to read. Read stories to all of your children and raise them to read quality books for fun. Reading requires focus. Reading, or listening to someone else read, will strengthen the focus muscle. 

4. Keep your children away from screens! Keep your children away from screens! I'm sorry to tell you this, but there is no way around it.  If you want to raise smarter, happier, well-mannered children, you will need to keep them off of screens. The idea that you can limit their screen time when they are young is rubbish. 

If I'm the only one who is telling you this, it is because I have done my research, I am willing to go against the grain to say what is true, even when it is unpopular, and because I have no financial interest in saying the opposite.

The research tells us to keep screens out of our children’s lives.

It's like putting a child who can't swim into the deep end of a pool, and telling him he can have five minutes in the water. A screen-fed child will drown his mind in a dumbed-down world of distraction and action-packed entertainment.

How will such a child ever learn how to think for himself? 

Think of it this way: when your children are zoning out in front of a screen, they are not reading, socializing, or playing. And they are certainly not doing their chores!

When your children get older and develop a reading habit, consider introducing a movie on the weekends.

Until then, screens will only be an obstacle to engaging in activities that will help your children develop physically, emotionally, and neurologically, all of which will help to strengthen their ability to focus and pay attention. 

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

A Foolproof Tip for Raising More Appreciative Children

"No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough!" is a typical complaint from your average 21st-century parent.

While parents are understandably frustrated, they're little ones are growing up to become entitled adults.

Common strategies employed to battle the empidemic of ingratitude are not working either. The Sermon is a perfect example of a strategy that has failed our children.

THE SERMON

We lecture our kids to be grateful for what they have, and our lectures fall on deaf ears. They have no idea what we are talking about. For the most part, they always had what they need and gotten what they wanted.

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T220501.350.png

And even if they did register what we said, poor character traits are not conquered by lecturing.

Better not to let the trait develop in the first place!

“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”

— Marcus Aurelius

THE SECRET

The secret, therefore, to teaching your children to appreciate the things you provide for them is to raise them to be minimalists. The less they have, the more appreciative they'll be when you give them more.

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T221106.177.png

The less you indulge them with their wants, the less they'll come to expect them. When you do give your children a want, they'll be grateful, and they won't forget to say thank you.

The words of true gratitude will come roaring out of them, no prodding needed.

A minimalist philosophy isn't restricted to material goods either. You can apply it to all aspects of your children’s lives by saying “no” to them more than you say “yes.”

John Rosemond calls it Vitamin N. It's not that you want to become a contrarian and rigidly oppose everything your children ask for, but raise them to understand that their wants are not your primary concern.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Provide your children with the things they need for emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual growth, but raise them to understand that the goal of your life is not to indulge them but to raise them well.

This isn't to say that you should never accommodate their wants, but don't make it a habit to give your children too much of what they ask for because children can ask for a lot.

What is the rule of when to give and when to give not?

It’s simple: say no 75% of the time and say yes 25% of the time. If you practice this ratio of yes’s to no’s, you’ll see the gratitude scale climb steadily in your home.

A golden parenting rule to remember is that you aren't responsible for making your children happy; that’s up to them to figure out.

And they’ll discover the secret to happiness much faster when you indulge them less.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

The Secret to Raising Grateful Children

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T215459.252.png

"No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough!" is a typical complaint from your average 21st-century parent.

While parents are understandably frustrated, they're little ones are growing up to become entitled adults.

Common strategies employed to battle the empidemic of ingratitude are not working either. The Sermon is a perfect example of a strategy that has failed us.

THE SERMON

We lecture our kids to be grateful for what they have, and our lectures fall on deaf ears. They have no idea what we are talking about. For the most part, they always had what they need and gotten what they wanted.

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T220501.350.png

And even if they hadn’t, poor character traits are not conquered by lecturing and “ingratitude” is a poor character trait.

Better not to let the trait develop in the first place!

“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”

— Marcus Aurelius

THE SECRET

The secret, therefore, to teaching your children to appreciate the things you provide for them is to raise them to be minimalists. The less they have, the more appreciative they'll be when you give them more.

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T221106.177.png

The less often you indulge them with their wants, the less they'll come to expect them. When you do give your children a want, they'll be grateful, and they won't forget to say thank you.

The words of true gratitude will come roaring out of them, no prodding needed.

A minimalist philosophy isn't restricted to material goods either. You can apply it to all aspects of your children’s lives by saying “no” to them more than you say “yes.”

John Rosemond calls it Vitamin N. It's not that you want to become a contrarian and rigidly oppose everything your children ask for, but raise them to understand that their wants are not your primary concern.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Provide your children with the things they need for emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual growth, but raise them to understand that the goal of your life is not to make them happy but to raise them well.

This isn't to say that you never accommodate a want of theirs, but don't make it a habit to indulge them too much.

What’s the rule?!

It’s simple: say no 75% of the time and say yes 25% of the time. If you practice this ratio of yes to no’s, you’ll see the gratitude scale climb steadily in your home.

A golden parenting rule to remember is that you aren't responsible for making your children happy; that’s up to them to figure out.

And they’ll discover the secret to happiness much faster if you indulge them less.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Why Are 21st Century Children Never Satisfied?

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T215459.252.png

"When is enough, enough?" is a typical cry from parents today. No matter how much you give your children they always seem to want more.

Parents are frustrated, not to mention exhausted, and they're little darlings are turning into entitled adults.

Common strategies employed by parents don't seem to work either. The preferred approach for as long as I can remember has been the lecture.

THE LECTURE

I remember my grandmother buying us new clothes and then lecturing us all the way back to her 1000 acre ranch, in her red Buick convertible with the white top down, about how lucky we were compared to the poor children she had seen in Africa.

First of all, we didn't even know where Africa was. Second of all, lecturing us about poverty while we were whizzing through town on a warm summer day with our hair blowing and holding tight to our new bags of clothes did not work.

There was a disconnect between what she was saying and what she was doing and children quickly intuit the inherent madness in this strategy.

It's not that we were ungrateful children either, we weren't. There was no need for her lecture, but somehow she thought it was her duty to provide it.

The problem with said lecture, whether a child deserves it or not, is that children are too young to understand deprivation unless they've experienced it themselves. And if you are concerned about your children being ungrateful, my guess is that they have not experienced it.

THE SERMON

Next in line to my grandmother's sermons were the sermons we were subject to in church. The priest would stand at the pulpit and remind us to be grateful for our daily bread. The Daily Bread lecture had no impact on us either.

We knew that if we ran out of our daily bread, our parents would run to the store and buy some more. This was true for every single person in that congregation. What the priest said really did not make sense to us children.

Some parents think that if they keep preaching, their words of wisdom will sink in eventually somewhere around their child’s 18th year of life. All those lectures will have been worth it because now the entitled child suddenly becomes enlightened and gratitude follows.

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T220158.853.png

But the reality is the 18-year-olds are extremely unenlightened and will not be any more grateful on their eighteenth birthday then they were before it. Poor character traits do not suddenly become admirable ones. They take a lot of work to conquer.

Better not to let them develop in the first place.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

THE REALITY

Dr. Seuss said, “A person’s a person, no matter how small.” To solve children’s ingratitude problems, we can start by looking at ourselves. Think of the times when you have felt most grateful. It usually happens during one of two events:

1. Something that makes you extremely happy but seldom happens, happens

2. You reflect upon the reality that at any given moment, the infinite gifts and blessings you have in your life can be taken away. In the blink of an eye, you can lose something you treasure beyond all else.

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T220501.350.png

Think natural disasters, accidents, illness, death, misfortune, betrayal, poor choices, old-age. As you read this, thousands of people around the world are experiencing one or more of the above losses. And suddenly, the things they took for granted are priceless in their eyes, but they're also gone.

“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”

— Marcus Aurelius

If we stop to reflect on the many gifts and blessings we have, and if we reflect on the reality that we can lose these gifts and blessings at any moment, we can't help but feel grateful.

As I write, I'm looking out onto a beautiful green field with lots of trees. I've lived in places where I've looked out onto rows and rows of townhouses. Having lived in a complex where my view was endless rows of other townhouses, I never stop feeling grateful for the scenery I have today.

We have to reflect on the gifts in our lives. We have to continually remind ourselves of all that we have because there is always someone else who has much less. And money will never buy the things that truly matter in life: health, love, family, and trustworthy friends.

But children are too young to understand these things. Even most teenagers are too young. The ability to reason yourself into a state of gratitude is a skill which is usually reserved for more mature minds.

If you believe that you can reason your child into a state of gratitude, you can't.

THE SECRET

The secret to teaching your children to appreciate the things you provide for them is to raise them to be minimalists. The less they have, the more appreciative they'll be when you give them more.

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T221106.177.png

The less often you indulge them with their wants, the less they'll come to expect them. When you do give your children a want, they'll be grateful, and they won't forget to say thank you. It’ll come roaring out of them with no prodding needed.

A minimalist philosophy isn't restricted to material goods either. You can apply it to all aspects of your children’s lives by saying “no” to them more than you say “yes.”

John Rosemond calls it Vitamin N. It's not that you want to become a contrarian and rigidly oppose everything your children ask for, but raise them to understand that their wants are not your primary concern in life.

Provide your children with the things they need for emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual growth, but raise them to understand that the goal of your life is not to make them happy; it's to raise them well.

This isn't to say that you never accommodate a want of theirs, but don't make it a habit. You aren't responsible for their happiness beyond what you need to provide as a loving, responsible parent; they're responsible for their happiness.

And they'll be much happier if you indulge them less.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, course will be open again sometime in March, 2021.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.