4 Reasons Your Kids Should Skip Trick-or-Treating→

I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.

Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.

But that was then when Halloween was a lot more innocent. Between the food waste and the front lawn horror shows, I now stand on the side of those who think we should skip trick-or- treating.

Here are 4 good reasons for you to ponder:

#1 Health & Mixed Messages

Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.

Here’s a shocking fact to put things in perspective: the average child consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!

Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.

Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table— wow.

One Dentist’s Strategy

I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate his intention, we have to consider the message gestures like these send our children.

We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.

How can turning our kids into candy peddlers be a solution?

#2 Manners & Strangers

We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.

As a mother reflecting on the idea of trick or treating, it strikes me as being a contradiction of everything we’ve taught our children thus far.

My Shameful Story

I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day of sitting in classrooms. At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with pangs of hunger, we had this bright idea.

It was Halloween which meant that we could quell our hunger pangs by trick-or-treating!

We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?"

She gave us some candy anyway.

We teach our children that it's not polite to ask for things, yet, once a year we permit it. We teach our kids not to speak to strangers, yet, once a year we permit it. We teach our kids NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet, once a year we permit it.

Of course, there are always exceptions to rules, but these are a lot of exceptions and all in one night.

#3 Corporate Horror Show

Halloween has become a creepy holiday. The decorations have become gothic and violent since the corporate world has recognized the money to be made on Halloween.

When we were little, we had innocent little costumes: princess and cowboy outfits. Sometimes we threw a sheet over our heads and went out as ghosts. There was nothing more than a pumpkin with a candle burning inside on the doorstep of each home.

Forty years later, my neighbor would put gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved to look like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, the scene looked so real that my kids used to get scared.

So did I!

And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror film. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.

Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.

#4 Waste & Starvation

I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.

For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste.

The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly. (2022 stats)

My god, that's a shameful waste of pumpkins.

What Can Kids Do Instead of Trick-or-Treating?

1. Have a costume party

2. Start a local fund and ask people to donate $5.00—instead of buying a pumpkin—and then use the money to donate food to a local charity.

3. Study the history of Halloween, the practice of Halloween, and the contradictions of Halloween, and ask your children to take a position for or against it. Then let them have a debate with the opposing party or write an age-appropriate essay arguing their side of the argument.

What You Should Not Do

Don’t take a stance of moral superiority if you decide to skip Halloween.

I had a friend whose children would stay home on Halloween. When the neighborhood kids knocked on their door, they would offer candy and then explain why they didn’t celebrate Halloween.

The unspoken was that the family was morally superior to those who knocked on their door. I’m pretty sure that no one accepted candy from said family without feeling “less than.”

Instead, use it as an opportunity to teach your children that everyone is entitled to their beliefs and to their opinions, just as you and your children are entitled to their own.

While we may not always agree with other people, we need to respect other people’s ways because each person is born with an inherent dignity that is worthy of respect.

What do you think? Let me know in the comment section.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually, start with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

5 Ways to Encourage Your Child's Love of Learning→

A friend showed me a clip of her nine-month-old baby trying to imitate her mother's expressions. I looked into the baby's eyes as I watched the video and the intense alertness that I witnessed, the acute observation of each facial move in her mother's face, was fascinating.

The baby wanted to know how to make the same faces her mother was making, and she was trying to understand how to do this by conducting a scientific investigation.

It's the intense desire to know that all healthy children possess, yet what happens to their curiosity as they grow older? Why do so many children forsake that infinite sense of wonder that is so innate to each of us? 

“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.”

— L. Frank Baum

One of the reasons this happens today is because too many children start school at young ages, and by the time they reach kindergarten, first grade, if they are lucky, the light within them begins to dim.

Consider this: if your child’s desire to explore and understand the world around him is constantly thwarted by a teacher’s dictates, he will begin to give up his investigative work, and his sense of curiosity will eventually wilt.

For example, if a child has a small shovel in his hand, but every time he tries to shovel something a teacher tells him to stop, he will eventually stop picking the shovel up.

When a child cannot follow the lead of his curiosity, or is not in an environment where he can exercise his desire to know, as children who are in daycare and preschools from early ages are, they begin to put their curiosity down. 

If you have a child whose curiosity is waning, or whose curiosity you want to stimulate, here are five things you can do:

1. If you have to put your child into an outside program, look for a daycare or preschool that is play-based and ideally held in the outdoors, such as a Forest School. Make sure they are operated by people who understand what children need at these tender ages. If you aren't sure what the philosophy for the school is, ask them. Please do not be shy about these matters; after all, this is your child, and you want to make sure he is under the best care.

2. Immediately remove all screens from your child's life both inside and outside the home. Under no circumstances should you hand him your cell phone to quiet him because you are busy. Screens are a cause of a dimming curiosity; not only that but they will thwart your child's brain development. 

3. Do not entertain your child! Let him entertain himself. It is not that you don't ever play with your child, but only that you do not become his full-time playmate. Allow him to follow the dictates of his curiosity and figure things out for himself. Children are little scientists; let him conduct his own experiments. 

4. Be curious yourself. Take your child into the outdoors and explore with him. Let him walk barefoot on fallen leaves and dip his feet into spring water to awaken his senses. Bring his attention to the songs of birds and the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through them. Collect a bug or two and read about them when you get home. Notice a particular bird sound (my favorite is the red-winged blackbird!) and look the bird up in a reference book or on the internet when you get home. Try to imitate the bird's song with your child. Ask him questions to stimulate a conversation and discover the answers together, such as how birds fly and what foods they eat. 

5. Lastly, if you can, don't put your child into any school programs until he is at least ten years old. Until then, teach him yourself because so many learning problems take root during those early years. The first few grades of elementary school are easy to teach when you know what you are doing. 

Remember that the desire to know is our natural state, but we have this yearning socialized out of us in various ways, the least not being school. Our innate desire to know, however, is still there within us.

“An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”

— Benjamin Franklin

If your child's desire for knowledge has dimmed, trust that you can help him awaken it; because reaching his full potential in life begins with the desire to know.

Don’t miss our free download, 10 True Facts About Homeschooled Kids That Will Surprise You.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually please begin with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

4 Strategies to Raise Children of Good Character →

Societal influences can make it easy or difficult to raise a child who is well-mannered, respectful, and resourceful.

In today’s social climate, we face many parenting challenges, but there are strategies you can implement to ensure a better outcome for your family.

When our children are young, we want to train them to do the right thing, so they develop the right habits in childhood and learn to make the right choices.

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

— Mark Twain

It begins with little things such as learning to pick up after themselves, doing chores before they play, and learning to be considerate of other people's needs.

Role Models

Good role models in a child’s life are essential. If the parents treat each other courteously, are respectful towards family and friends, and honest and helpful with others, the children are more likely to follow suit.

Discipline

As no child is born a civilized human being, there is also a training through discipline that has to occur, too. In fact, raising our children to become civilized human beings is the essence of our work.

Good parents can produce bad children; there are no guarantees that children turn out well.

Discipline is key to developing the qualities that make up good character, as it takes discipline to do what is demanded of us!

Think of how much discipline it takes to pass up a piece of chocolate cake, to put away the screens, to go the gym.

Discipline is a key trait that most of us never develop. It is what sets the above-average, who reach great heights in their endeavors, from those who never will.

Public School

Public school can undo your hard work, though, because rudeness and crudeness are now the norms. Children sent to school for eight hours a day where the teachers are not allowed to discipline them, are at a disadvantage.

However children who spend their days in a homeschooled environment are with adults who are able to put the time and effort into guiding the kids in the right ways.

At home, we do have authority over our children and can discipline them as needed. The right training in childhood is essential to raising a well-mannered, happy child.

Spare the rod, spoil the child, was an old adage that adults used to repeat before the 60's cultural revolution when sound parenting principles were abandoned for unproven theories.

Multi Media

Another disadvantage to raising children today is the decline in quality films and the introduction of screen activities.

The films are vulgar, the music is ribald, childhood games are on screens, and texting replaces real conversation.

On top of that, social media alone is causing a distortion of the way children see themselves and the world, leading to a host of mental health issues.

Negative influences will unravel any good work you've done to raise your children well, which is why we need to be diligent with the environments that influence our children.

The aforementioned should be a strict NO for every concerned!

The Ancient Greeks knew that bad influences in a child's life would affect their characters. It is really just a matter of common sense, something the Ancient Greeks had plenty of.

We’ve buried our head’s in the sand, though, because we believe we can put our children into these environments and all will be fine.

Our children are telling us a different story, and it’s time we start listening to them.

We have a generation of children, raised on technology, who are becoming active in the movement to protect children from the ill-effects of technology, because they can see the damage it has caused to their generation.

A Dishonest Trend

Dishonesty is a serious character defect, but it is common now. Ninety-seven percent of schoolchildren are dishonest according to statistics gathered by Vickie Abeles, who produced the documentary, Race to Nowhere.

Even without the statistics, we know from experience that we are no longer an honest society. Each of us deals with it every single day.

During the Covid days, my son took a statistics exam online, only to receive an email from the teacher announcing that some of the students had cheated on the exam.

I was told the exam was easy, too. College students cheating on an easy exam?

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

Cheating is a habit for many children today.

When cheating on exams is pardoned with no serious repercussions, we are tolerating dishonesty and teaching our kids that it is no big deal.

But it is a big deal. Bad character is a big deal because these people cause harm to others, and they cause harm to themselves.

For sure, they don’t sleep well at night.

These students have learned to become dishonest people, because they are raised in a system that doesn't uphold the values of truth, goodness, and beauty.

It’s difficult to believe now that such values were once so honored in the West, but it is true.

In a Nutshell

Protect your children from the negative influences in society for as long as you can. Raise them in a bubble! Allow them the time to develop in healthy ways; physically, morally, and intellectually, because the bubble will burst.

When it does, you want to feel confident that you did your job well, by giving your children the right kind of start in life.

The rest is up to them.

Don’t miss our free download, 7 Steps to Protect Your Child's Mind and Heart from Negative Influences.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Are We to Blame for the ADHD Epidemic in Our Children?→

Actually, there is no epidemic of ADHD. It is a phantom disorder with no basis in science according to John Rosemond and Bose Ravenel's eye-opening book, The Diseasing of America's Children. 

Their argument is sound.

The real epidemic is an epidemic of the inability to stay focused because we live in the Age of Distraction. A school-age child's  inability to focus is not a medical disorder; it is the result of a skill he has never developed; the skill of paying attention and staying focused.

Normal, healthy children raised in wholesome ways don't suffer from the inability to focus. Prior to the 1970s when children ran free, learning and behavioral disorders in school were almost unheard of. 

To be precise, only about 1 - 3% of the population in the USA were afflicted with a true disorder. To put this in perspective, during my 1960 / 70s school years, I never had a classmate who was diagnosed with a learning or behavioral disorder.

If a child was amongst the 1 - 3% afflicted with a medical disorder, the disorder was usually too extreme to enter school in the first place. 

So now what? If there is no epidemic of ADHD, and if the real problem is that normal, healthy children are not learning how to focus, what can we do to correct this tragic situation?

It is tragic, too,  because learning to pay attention is no small matter. Any skill we develop or any subject we study is predicated upon our ability to stay focused.

Therefore, a child who learns to focus well will learn more; a child who learns more will become smarter. 

No rocket science here; it's just common sense. The tragedy is that our children are not learning to focus, they are not being well-educated, and, quite frankly, our sinking literacy rates indicate that our kids are not growing up to be as intelligent as they could be either. 

First, let's qualify what we mean by "children." It would make sense that the ability to focus for longer periods would run parallel with the development of the long term memory, which begins around the third year of life.

In order to remember something, we have to stay focused on it long enough to remember it. 

The idea of expecting a child under the age of three to sustain his focus is preposterous; I’m sure no one is doing this! But as the child matures, his ability to focus should increase as well. 

If it is not increasing, it is most likely because the child's environment is not conducive towards learning how to pay attention and stay focused. 

Children develop these skills through the practice of doing them. The question we should be asking is not why so many of our children have ADHD,  but how we can create environments for our children that are conducive towards developing the skill of paying attention and staying focused. 

If we are not providing this kind of an environment for our children, then, yes,  the fault lies with us.

4 WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN FROM THE PHANTOM ADHD EPIDEMIC

1. Expect your children to listen to you without interruption.  Much of the problem we are dealing with is that children are confused about who is in charge, thanks to all of the proven-not-to-work parenting theories that have been thrust on us since the 1950s.

   Our job is to raise civilized human beings. Civilized human beings in little bodies learn how to focus, because they have parents who train them to listen when they speak, do their chores when they are told to, and generally behave in well-mannered ways.

2. Create an environment for your children to move around and explore and be independent. Young children have an insatiable curiosity, and this curiosity will lead them to an infinite number of things they will want to pay attention to, all of which will help develop their ability to focus.

    This presupposes your children are not in a preschool, not sitting in front of a television, and not playing with your smart phone.

3. Keep quality literature in every room in your house for your older children to read. Read stories to all of your children and raise them to read quality books for fun. Reading requires focus. Reading, or listening to someone else read, will strengthen the focus muscle. 

4. Keep your children away from screens! Keep your children away from screens! I'm sorry to tell you this, but there is no way around it.  If you want to raise smarter, happier, well-mannered children, you will need to keep them off of screens. The idea that you can limit their screen time when they are young is rubbish. 

If I'm the only one who is telling you this, it is because I have done my research, I am willing to go against the grain to say what is true, even when it is unpopular, and because I have no financial interest in saying the opposite.

The research tells us to keep screens out of our children’s lives.

It's like putting a child who can't swim into the deep end of a pool, and telling him he can have five minutes in the water. A screen-fed child will drown his mind in a dumbed-down world of distraction and action-packed entertainment.

How will such a child ever learn how to think for himself? 

Think of it this way: when your children are zoning out in front of a screen, they are not reading, socializing, or playing. And they are certainly not doing their chores!

When your children get older and develop a reading habit, consider introducing a movie on the weekends.

Until then, screens will only be an obstacle to engaging in activities that will help your children develop physically, emotionally, and neurologically, all of which will help to strengthen their ability to focus and pay attention. 

Don’t miss our free download, 31 Screen-Free Activities to Support Your Child’s Developing Brain.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

A Foolproof Tip for Raising More Appreciative Children→

"No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough!" is a typical complaint from your average 21st-century parent.

While parents are understandably frustrated, they're little ones are growing up to become entitled adults.

Common strategies employed to battle the empidemic of ingratitude are not working either. The Sermon is a perfect example of a strategy that has failed our children.

THE SERMON

We lecture our kids to be grateful for what they have, and our lectures fall on deaf ears. They have no idea what we are talking about. For the most part, they always had what they need and gotten what they wanted.

And even if they did register what we said, poor character traits are not conquered by lecturing.

Better not to let the trait develop in the first place!

“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”

— Marcus Aurelius

THE SECRET

The secret, therefore, to teaching your children to appreciate the things you provide for them is to raise them to be minimalists. The less they have, the more appreciative they'll be when you give them more.

The less you indulge them with their wants, the less they'll come to expect them. When you do give your children a want, they'll be grateful, and they won't forget to say thank you.

The words of true gratitude will come roaring out of them, no prodding needed.

A minimalist philosophy isn't restricted to material goods either. You can apply it to all aspects of your children’s lives by saying “no” to them more than you say “yes.”

John Rosemond calls it Vitamin N. It's not that you want to become a contrarian and rigidly oppose everything your children ask for, but raise them to understand that their wants are not your primary concern.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Provide your children with the things they need for emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual growth, but raise them to understand that the goal of your life is not to indulge them but to raise them well.

This isn't to say that you should never accommodate their wants, but don't make it a habit to give your children too much of what they ask for because children can ask for a lot.

What is the rule of when to give and when to give not?

It’s simple: say no 75% of the time and say yes 25% of the time. If you practice this ratio of yes’s to no’s, you’ll see the gratitude scale climb steadily in your home.

A golden parenting rule to remember is that you aren't responsible for making your children happy; that’s up to them to figure out.

And they’ll discover the secret to happiness much faster when you indulge them less.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Don't Teach Your Children About Diversity!→

One of the beauties of homeschooling is that we can protect our children from political agendas that don't serve mankind, and the diversity issue may be one of them.

It mirrors the old military strategy of Julius Caesar's, "divide and conquer."

And Julius Caesar was no dummy.

So why is diversity the wrong conversation to have with your children? The best illustration for arguing against a topic which has divided so many of us is the example of my mother. 

My mother was different from the social-justice warriors you hear about today. An original warrior, she never preached to anyone, she wasn't spouting angry rhetoric about perceived wrongs, she never felt better than you or me because of the services she did; she just helped where she saw that people needed help.

When I was a young child, my mother was very active in the Civil Rights Movement, a violent and bloody time in America. Despite the dangers, she relentlessly marched with the oppressed in their struggle for equality, more worried about their safety than she was her own.

The World Encyclopedia even included a picture of her and my sister Kathleen, who had both flown across the country to demonstrate with hundreds of other people in the historic march on Selma, Alabama, led by Martin Luther King, Jr., in 1965.

My mother is on the left, my sister is holding the sign.

As I became a young woman, my mother, who was now middle-aged, served on the board for the homeless people where she listened to their stories, helped them get shelter, and assisted people in getting back on their feet.

She said to me once that homeless people weren't the bums others thought they were; they were usually people who'd had some hardship in life with no one to fall back on for support, and they'd ended up on the streets. 

Her heart always went out to the underserved amongst us.

When I hit my middle-ages, my mother, who was now an old woman, served as a volunteer teaching the Hispanic community English. She did that until she became ill at the age of ninety. 

To my mother, each life mattered because each life contained a human heart and that human heart possessed inherent dignity and worth. That was the ideal my mother embodied and lived by.

Color, religion, race; those weren't labels she understood.

She recognized that we all suffer the loss of loved ones, we all worry about our children, most of us struggle with our siblings, some of us wonder if God exists and many of us question why so much killing and suffering happens in the name of religion.  

There’s more sameness in us than there is difference.

The Diversity Rhetoric Questioned

Some years back, after my mother passed away, I had a series of experiences which led me to question the new diversity rhetoric that had emerged, such as the time I was asked to give a talk on education to a group of mothers from varying backgrounds. 

In defense of diversity, a woman of color felt it her duty to ask me why I only promoted books written by white people. Well, I don't, I explained. I promote books for the quality of the writing and content, not because of the skin color of the author. 

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. ”

— Rumi

The fact is that there are only six canons of great literature in the world and one of them belongs to the West.

I had wanted to introduce these women to our body of great books for children—not all of whom were written by white people—but this particular mom could only see the color of my skin and what she thought was the color of the authors' skin. 

Another experience was with a friend who espoused diversity ideals. When Trump became president, this particular friend of mine from an Eastern country grew livid and said to me,  "The white people have shown their true colors!" 

I had never seen my friend in terms of her skin color, yet she had just revealed that that was exactly how she saw me. I was her "white" friend and now my people had shown their true colors. 

But the experience that took the cake was when an academic corrected me after I objected to the racism of a certain "movement"  which  was in vogue at the time. 

She informed me that I could not accuse other people of being racist because I was white and only white people were racist. Her lack of logical reasoning dumbfounded me.

When you have lived in many different countries, as I have, you learn about  different cultures and different ways of viewing the world. I can tell you first-hand that I have never met a people who did not think they were better than another people.

In every country I’ve lived in, there’s always been the majority group who believed they were better than the minority group or they were better than the people of a neighboring country.

And then there's the individuals; us. Have you ever known an individual who did not express a judgement on another individual, either verbally or by inference?

We expose our petty, self-righteous arrogance every day; she gossips too much, he's too ambitious, he's too materialistic, she's too bossy. 

Whatever they is, we is above it, right?

“We’re all islands shouting lies to each other across seas of misunderstanding.”

— Rudyard Kipling

We all contain seeds of the virtues in our hearts such as compassion, generosity, temperance.

However, our hearts also contain seeds of the vices, such as envy, anger, greed.

But the crowning vice is arrogance, and some of us cultivate the roots of it more than we like to admit, even to ourselves.

Yet, what is racism, if not arrogance?

The Danger of the Group

There are a lot of diverse groups in America and they largely stick to their own kind. Maybe it's a kind of religion; or a kind of race, or a kind of political ideology, but "groups" tend to keep to their own, which makes sense because, after all, they are groups.

But there is something dangerous about  a clustering of kind when we base our identity on the "group" we belong to and see people outside of the "group" as the "other."

Barbara Coloroso, a parenting expert who had studied the genocide in Rwanda, said that the seeds of  genocide take root when we objectify a group of people as "other."

Rather than see them as fellow human beings traveling with us through the journey of life, we see them as "different" from us. 

And that's the crux of the matter. When we teach about diversity, we are teaching about differences, we are teaching about the "other."

If we allow our identity to be based on the identity of a particular  group  instead of our shared humanity, we lose sight of the inward bonds of our collective hearts. 

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

— Mother Teresa

It's not that we can't be a member in a group, but let's not be of the group. And if we have to identify with a group, then let's identify with the group of human beings who shed tears of joy and sorrow for all the same things.

That was the group to which my mother belonged.

Instead of teaching our children about our differences, I'm suggesting we raise our children to focus on our samenesses.

Genocide is genocide; it doesn't matter who is committing it or who it's being committed against. 

When it comes to the innocent slaughter of women and children; regardless of their race, religion, or color, who are we being if we don't stand on the side of mercy?

Who are we when we raise our children to think in terms of "otherness" instead of the common bond of the human heart?

When we dismiss a child's book, not on whether or not the book is worth reading, but because of the skin color of the authors, haven't we ourselves nurtured the seed of genocide?

Upcoming FREE Masterclass! Discover 3 Homeschooling Mistakes No One Tells You About
with Liz Hanson

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Don't Homeschool If Your Children Have This One Bad Habit!→

The most frequent complaint I get from homeschooling moms is that their children don't listen to them. It's more than just a complaint  because  for a homeschooling mom, not listening is a serious issue.

Children who don't listen, won't obey and children who don't obey, won't get their work done. Which means that you, the homeschooling parent, will struggle  to do your job well. 

“The essence of successful discipline is not technique; rather, it is self-confidence.”

— John Rosemond, author, A Family of Value

However, I am not suggesting that you put your children into school; but only to train them to listen before you continue homeschooling. After all, the skill of listening is a vital skill and one children must be taught.

An Effective Approach

The most effective approach would be to stop homeschooling for a short period until you get your relationship back on course with your children. 

The reason for this is because the frustration everyone is feeling from the tug of war around studying is probably causing a lot of tension, and your children may develop a negative association with homeschooling if it continues. 

Once your children decide that homeschooling is no fun, instead of one problem, you’ve now got two. So a break is the best strategy for this situation.

But rather than announce you are putting homeschooling on hold until they learn to obey,  announce that next week will be a homeschool break week. You don't need to offer any reason other than, "Because I said so!". 

The Crux of the Matter

Now, you can focus on the issue which, at the core, is a problem of disrespect. Like most parents in the West, your children are not showing you the respect you deserve. 

It's a societal problem for various reasons including, but not limited to, the negative influences on children via multi-media and technology, as well as the push for modern parenting practices that sound great in theory but haven’t worked. 

While there are multiple strategies that should be employed in your efforts to correct your relationship with your children, we'll focus on the primary tactic of assuming the role of leadership.

As two captains will sink a ship, you and your spouse will have to show up as one. In other words, you have one voice. What one says, the other supports, at least in front of the children. Any disagreements you have regarding your children, must be discussed privately.

Successful Parenting Traits

It's critical to understand the traits of successful parents, so you can learn to imitate them until they become your traits, too.

Successful parenting leadership…

• They are decisive

• They communicate clear expectations

• They hold their children accountable

• They assume authority (not to be confused with "authoritarian")

• They set clear boundaries

• They give their children age-appropriate responsibilities

• They do not bend down to their children's level; they let their children look up to them

If this list sounds too authoritarian, it may be in comparison to the modern advice you've probably been given. 

The question to ask yourself is, how's that working?

Your children need to see you as the authority, someone worthy of respect, someone they can trust to keep their word, and a role model they can emulate.

You want to be a good influence for your children, so you can guide them towards developing good character and excelling in your homeschool. Like us, they won't emulate someone they do not respect. 

“The more attention you pay to your child, the less attention he will pay to you.”

— John Rosemond

Once you have successfully established your boundaries by assuming the role of leader, your children will listen and obey you and homeschooling will be more fun and fruitful. 

Effective parenting leadership must include unconditional  love, but I know you have that part covered. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

The Six Purposes of Schooling by John Taylor Gatto→

When people ask me why I homeschooled, I tell them I had no choice. If they knew what I knew about public education, they would homeschool too.

John Taylor Gatto was the man who opened my eyes to the nefarious agenda behind institutionalized schooling. What follows is a transcription of the key section from John’s classic speech and opus, The Underground History of American Education.

John was a brilliant and well-researched man. I have read what is below in Ingles’ book myself; it is all true.   

Transcription of John’s Talk

“I have something here.  I have the six purposes of schooling [from the book Principles of Secondary Education by Alexander James Inglis] as laid down in 1917 by the man whom Harvard named their Honor Lecture in Education for. 

So far from being a fringe individual, this guy is the reason the Harvard Honor Lecture in Education is named as it is:  The Inglis Lecture.  I would like to read you the six purposes of schooling.  I moved heaven and earth as it took years to find this book [Principles of Secondary Education]--just like trying to find in past years a copy of the Carol Quigley [book] Tragedy and Hope.  

I learned about Inglis from a twenty year President of Harvard [1933-1953], James Bryant Conant, who was a poison gas specialist in World War I--and was in the very inner circle of the Atomic Bomb Project in World War II--was High Commissioner of Occupied Germany after the War. 

So he [James Bryant Conant] wrote--there must be 20 books about the institution of schooling--of which he was completely a proponent.  And he is a very, very bad writer.  I forced myself to read most of these books, and one of them he says that if you really want to know what school is about, you need to pick up the book that I’m referring to Principles of Secondary Education. 

Two years it took me to find a copy of the book [Principles of Secondary Education by Alexander James Inglis]--750 pages, tiny print and as dull as your imagination can be.  And furthermore, it is not till you get to the very middle of the book--in an unlabelled section--that he spills the beans.  Let me spill them for you.  

 There are six purposes, or functions, as he calls them.  The first he [Alexander Inglis] calls the Adjustive Function: Schools are to establish fixed habits of reaction to authority.  That’s their main purpose--habits and reactions to authority. 

That is why school authorities don’t tear their hair out when somebody exposes that the Atomic Bomb wasn’t dropped on Korea, as a history book in the 1990s printed by Scott Foresman [did], and why each of these books has hundreds of substantive errors.  Learning isn’t the reason the texts are distributed.  

The Adjustive Function

So, first is the Adjustive Function--fixed habits.  Now here comes the wonderful insight that being able to analyze the detail will give you.  How can you establish whether someone has successfully developed this Automatic Reaction because people have a proclivity when they are given sensible orders to follow. 

That is not what they want to teach.  The only way you can measure this is to give stupid orders and people automatically follow those.  Now you have achieved Function #1.  

The Integrating Function

Have you ever ever wondered why some of the foolish things that schools do or allow to continue?  [Function] #2, he [Inglis] calls it the Integrating Function, but it is easier to understand if you call it the Conformity Function. 

It’s to make children alike as possible--the gifted children and the stupid--alike as possible because market research uses statistical sampling, and it only works if people react generally the same way.  

The Directive Function

The Third Function he calls the Directive Function: School is to diagnose your proper social role and then log the evidence that here is where you are on the Great Pyramid, so that future people won’t allow you to escape that compartment.  

The Differentiating Function

 The Fourth Function is the Differentiating Function.  Because once you have diagnosed the kids in this layer, you do not want them to learn anything that the higher layers are learning.  So you teach just as far as the requirement of that layer.  

The Selective Function

 Number five and six are the creepiest of all!  Number 5 is the Selective Function.  What that means is what Darwin meant by natural selection: You are assessing the breeding quality of each individual kid.  You’re doing it structurally because school teachers don’t know this is happening. 

And you’re trying to use ways to prevent the poor stuff from breeding.  And those ways are hanging labels--humiliating labels--around their neck, encouraging the shallowness of thinking.

 I often wondered, because I came from a very very strict Scotish-Irish culture that never allowed you to leer at a girl.  But when I got to NYC, the boys were pawing the girls openly and there was no redress for the girls at all, except not showing up in the classroom--high absentee rates. 

Well, you are supposed to teach structurally that sexual pleasure is what you withdraw from a relationship and everything else is a waste of time and expensive.  

 So, the Selective Function is what Darwin meant by the favored races.  The idea is to consciously improve the breeding stock.  Schools are meant to tag the unfit with their inferiority by poor grades, remedial placement, and humiliation, so that their peers will accept them as inferior.  And the good breeding stock among the females will reject them as possible partners.  

The Propaedeutic Function

 And the Sixth is the creepiest of all! And I think it is partly what Tragedy and Hope is about--a fancy Roman name, the Propaedeutic Function.  Because as early as Roman bigtime thinkers, it was understood that to continue a social form required that some people be trained that they were the custodians of this.  So, some small fraction of the kids are being ready to take over the project. 

That’s the guy--the honor lecturer [Inglis], and it will not surprise you that his ancestors include the major-general of the siege of the Luknow of India--famous for tying the mutineers’ on the muzzle of the cannons and blowing them apart, or somebody who was forced to flee NYC, a churchman at the beginning of the American Revolution, because he wrote a refutation of Thomas Paine’s Common Sense. 

They were going to tar and feather him.  He fled and was rewarded by the British by making him the Bishop of Nova Scotia.  Those are Inglis’ ancestors!  

 So, Al Inglis is certainly--when I learned of this and wrote to Harvard, asking for access to the Inglis Lecture.  Strike me dead, Lord, if I’m exaggerating at all.  I was told “We have no Inglis Lecture--hasn’t been for years, and we have no records. 

It was the same that happened when I discovered that Elwood B. Cubberly, the most influential schoolman of the 20th century and the bionomics genius had been the elementary school editor of Houghton Mifflin, and I wrote Houghton Mifflin--Is there any record? And they said, “We have no record of anyone named Elwood P. Cubberly. 

Now Harvard is telling me, “There is no Inglis Lecture.  A week passed and I got a call from Harvard, from some obscure office at Harvard, saying “What is your interest in the Ingles Lecture?”  I knew that I was on thin ice. 

And I said, “Well, James Conant referred me in his books to the man the Inglis Lecture is named after, and I was just wondering if I could get some background on this fellow, and a list of the lectures.  

 And in due time, I got a list of the lectures and instructions [on] how to access the texts, but not easily. Enough hoops that someone who has to mow the lawn and burp the baby wouldn’t jump through those hoops.  I was able to prove Harper’s [magazine] wouldn’t publish [it in] the cover essay I wrote, which Lew Laflin [?] named Against School, but I had called The Artificial Extension of Childhood because I think that is the key mechanism at work here.  

 So, they wouldn’t print the information about Cubberley because Houghton Mifflin denied it.  It was only months after that I looked through my extensive library of incredibly dull books about schooling, and I opened [one]--and on the facing page said Elwood B. Cubberly, Editor and Chief of Elementary School, publishing arm of Houghton Mifflin. 

By the way, the secondary Editor and Chief was Alexander Ingles.  So you see how this cousinage works.” 

*****

*Video transcribed by Roger Copple. To watch the full 12-minute video: The Six Purposes of Schooling [Video]

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

5 Rules of Handling Books for Civilized Children→

When I was younger, I had a friend who was a writer and one day he saw me put a book face down on the table. 

"Oh, horrors!" he exclaimed. "If you knew what went into writing a book, you would never treat it that way." (He was much older and a bit of a Henry Higgins character.)

Will you be surprised if I tell you that in all my years since, I have never once put a book face down on anything. 

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

— Mark Twain

Books contain the workings of an individual's mind, and ideas, as Aristotle taught, have a divine component to them. I was fortunate that, at a relatively young age, I was taught to respect the written word, something our youth are failing to discover. 

Consider for a moment the origin of new ideas, insights, and understandings and you will begin to get a sense of the wonder of the mind.

And when you grasp that sense, and you consider that an intelligently-written book encapsulates that wonder, you will better understand my 5 rules for treating books with respect. 

5 Rules for  Handling a Book

1. Never Eat While Reading

Have you ever bought a used book only to find a blob of someone's ice cream or chocolate  inside the pages? Talk about horrors. Eating while reading is not a good habit for two reasons: 

1. Eating without paying attention to what you are eating can contribute to obesity. It's very easy to lose sight of how much we have eaten, when  we are putting food into your mouth mindlessly. With the obesity epidemic in the West, this is a habit we do not want to inculcate in our children.

2.  Books, like clothes, should be kept clean. I can think of no better reason than when one eats, one should eat, and when one reads, one should read. Furthermore, it was once considered poor manners to eat while reading, and I maintain that it still is. 

2. Always Use a Bookmarker

You will be hard-pressed to find a book in my home without a bookmarker in it. My books are adorned with anything from a scrap of paper (not recommended) to gold-plated bookmarkers (not real gold). 

You should never let your child bend the top of the page to remember where he left off! If you go into a used bookstore, as I often do, you'll notice that older books are devoid of bent pages. This is because people of earlier generations were more civilized and knew how to treat a book. 

“The person, be it a gentleman or lady, who had no pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”

— Jane Austen

3. Never Use a Highlighter

Have you ever come across a difficult-to-find used book only to discover that it had been marked up with yellow highlights? Pages full of yellow highlights in a book tell me only one thing, the previous reader never learned how to extract the main point from a passage. 

Another abominable habit is to mark up a book in messy scribbles with ink. A neatly written note on the margin, or even a checkmark by the noteworthy passage is plenty,and a sharpened pencil is the preferred instrument.

4. Treat the Book Cover with Care

I never leave home without a book, and I would teach your children to do the same. We never know if we will get stuck in a long line, staring at the walls (or worse, some unsightly person with rings in his nose, purple-spiked hair, and trousers down to his knees) while we wait for the time to pass.

Invariably, when I forget to bring a book with me, that's the day I get stuck in the long line. It's as if the Universe is reminding me of the importance of this habit. 

Back to my point, before I put my book in my purse, I wrap it up in a very thin book bag. If your child has a backpack, he’ll want to do the same. This way, neither the cover nor the pages will lose the beauty of their form.

If I can't find my book bag, I might wrap it in a scarf; anything of light material will do as long as it will hold the book in place and not weigh down my purse.

In a child’s case, overloaded backpacks can cause back problems, so you’ll want to make sure his bag is not too heavy either.

5. Travel with Care

When I travel, I wrap my books up before I place them in my suitcase. There is nothing more shattering than arriving at my destination only to find my books have been tossed about like a ship caught in a tempest. 

And that, dear reader, completes my 5 rules for handling a book with respect. 

Now, let me tell you about another writer friend who I will never understand. His bookshelves are full of well-read books with food stains, bent pages, torn covers, and all the horrors you can possibly imagine.

He's like a gardener  who creates beautiful gardens for others to enjoy, but tramples on his own. 

I realize, like my friend, you may object to my 5 rules for handling a book, but I can only defend myself by saying that obesity and pages spotted with chocolate are aesthetically unpleasing to the eye, and we should always strive to uphold that which is beautiful.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Replacing Ritalin with Discipline Cures Chemical Imbalances in Children→

You may be worried that your unmanageable child has a chemical imbalance.

Or, maybe a teacher has gone as far as to suggest he should be evaluated for a behavioral disorder, such as ADHD.

What you are not told is that the cure for his difficult behavior may be as easy as a spoonful of discipline.

The Facts

According to John Rosemond, MS and Bose Ravenel, MD, "No studies to date have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that impulsivity and short attention span - the two primary symptoms of ADHD - result from physical problems or chemical imbalances in the brain."

“The ADHD Establishment would be hard-pressed to explain how, of all the American cultural groups that share a common European heritage, only the Amish have managed to not become infected with the elusive ADHD gene.”

— Rosemond and Ravenel

Rosemond and Ravenel wrote an entire book on the subject called The Diseasing of America's Children: Exposing the ADHD Fiasco and Empowering Parents to Take Back Control, in which they make a strong case for old-fashioned discipline. 

If you have a child who is suspect for one of the three primary behavior disorder diseases, namely ADHD, ODD, or EOBD*, it would be prudent to grab a copy of their book.

The Why

Have you ever wondered why before the progressive 1960's cultural revolution, we have no records of behavior disorders that weren't quickly eradicated by not sparing the rod?

Then, as if children had suddenly changed, behavior disorders as disease were added to the DSM manual. 

Now, instead of discipline, children are given medication for their behavior.

We are neglecting to treat the real problem, which is that children are failing to grow up because we have lost the art of raising them well. 

The Problem

When little Susie throws a tantrum in the middle of the department store because she wants a toy, instead of grabbing little Susie by the hand, marching her out of the store, and plopping her into the back seat of your car to let her belt it out, what do we do? 

We try to talk some sense into her while shopping as she continues disturbing the peace.

We may even begin to bribe her with ice cream when she gets home if she promises to stop crying. We might even give her what she wants because we don't have the time or energy to deal with her behavior. 

When Johnny fails to focus long enough to follow our homework instructions or do some chores, what do we do? 

We begin to wonder if his lack of focus has a more sinister cause.

When Adam impulsively pushes his little sister or grabs a toy from another child, we begin to wonder, "Why is he so impulsive?

Could it be?"

These kind of children become prime candidates in school for being singled-out for a behavioral disorder diagnosis. The next step is to send the child for further evaluation. The psychiatrist or psychologist then notes in medical shorthand the following symptoms:

• Short attention span

• Lack of self-control; impulsive

• Difficulty staying on task

• Impatient

• Tantrums

• Easily frustrated

• Defiant 

• Irresponsible

The Oversight

What the psychiatrist or psychologist fails to recognize is that these are also the symptoms of a toddler's "terrible two" behavior.

According to Rosemond and Ravenel, the medical expert has failed to recognize the obvious.

As a consequence of the progressive parenting theories that began to surface in the 1960s, children no longer learn the rules of civil behavior lest we harm their self-esteem.

“The postmodern, non-theistic religion of self-esteem has spawned a host of problems for America’s children.”

— Rosemond and Ravenel

Consequently, incompetent parenting is mistaken for a behavior disorder that requires medication.

Proving how inconclusive the studies around behavior disorders are, and the impossibility of diagnosing a "chemical imbalance," Rosemond and Ravenel encourage parents to ignore the pharmaceutical cry that something is wrong with their child and look to improve their parenting skills instead.

The Reality

Prior to the 1960’s, only 1 - 3% of the population were diagnosed with problems outside the range of normal. If your child is displaying terrible two symptoms beyond the age of the terrible two's, save yourself the time and expense by self-diagnosing the problem for what it is: lax parenting. 

Teach your child good manners and the code of civil conduct, and you'll see his behavior disorders miraculously disappear. A good place to start is with “please” and “thank you.”

“Look at me when I speak to you and listen,” is also good.

And, "Go to your room until you can behave," never failed anyone.

*Disclaimer: You are the best judge of your child. If you think there is a medical issue, seek medical help. But if you suspect lax parenting is at the root of your child’s behavior, then learning to lead your child with love and authority is where you want to start.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Why Do Children Who Have Less Accomplish More?→

Resourcefulness is a vital skill we want to help our children develop. It is a critical skill that's useful in childhood, in school / homeschool, and in life.

The easiest way to facilitate your children is to give them less stuff because resourcefulness is born out of necessity. 

Most children in the States have a lot of toys and while there's nothing inherently wrong with toys, too many will interfere with their ability to become resourceful people.

Something as simple as too many toys, can obstruct the development of the imagination, independence, creativity, sociability, and a host of other critical qualities and skills.

When you give children less, they have to work with what they have and figure out how to turn it into what they want. Isn't this something we often come up against in life?

The ability to move from a place we don't want to be into a place we long to be. 

Whether it be a physical place, such as a new home or a new country; a professional  place, such as a better job or an increase in income; or an emotional place such as more peace and equanimity in our lives, our ability to be resourceful allows us to move in directions that bring us more fulfillment and contentment.

How to Help Your Child Develop Resourcefulness

To help your children develop this skill, you need to be okay with letting them figure things out for themselves. Of course, this predicates an absence of technology in their lives. If you want to raise resourceful children, keeping them away from technology is a no-brainer. 

By the way, Jonathan Haidt, who is a moral philosopher, has determined in his research that the epidemic of suicide, depression, and anxiety which we are seeing increase amongst our youth is not restricted to America or even the West. 

It is universal and correlates perfectly with the introduction of technology in children's lives. Which means that we take a gamble on the emotional  health and well-being of our children when we hand them a screen to keep them occupied.

Screens are not babysitters; they are mind-dumbing, heart-numbing devices. 

On the contrary, the more you leave your child to use his mind to imagine what he wants from objects around the house such as brooms or boxes, the more resourceful he will become. 

THE CREATIVITY FACTOR

Resourcefulness is predicated upon a strong imagination and a creative spirit which children who grow up in wholesome environments will naturally possess.

For example, if your daughter wants her own kitchen to cook in, refrain from buying her a ready-made toy kitchen. A child who has a strong imagination might ask you for a box or a sheet to create her own kitchen using her imagination. 

Your first thought might be something like, "I don't want her to dirty a sheet!," but a dirty sheet is a small price to pay for the benefit your daughter will derive from it. 

Another thought is that instead of buying a Lego toy with the items and directions to build a space station or what not for your son, give him a box of Legos and let him build his own space station by using his imagination. 

Toy companies don't make new toys because they think it will benefit  your child; they come up with new ideas to stay profitable.

But their profit is at the expense of our children. Children do not need a lot of toys. If you visit an historic home,  you'll see that in the children's room there aren't a lot of toys. Usually what is there mimics real life too. 

Maybe you'll see a horse or a wooden doll or a rocking horse, but you won't see much. 

Children who whine and complain that they have nothing to do are children who have not learned how to take control and figure things out for themselves. 

They fail to learn this because we mistakenly think it's our responsibility to help them find something to do or to help them do things.

Children will find the world a fascinating place and happily discover how to entertain themselves if we leave them to it. 

Not only will this help them to become resourceful, but it also teaches them independence.

Let's not fall for this misguided trend that if we are not involved with our children 24/7, we're somehow a bad parent. On the contrary, you’re a wise parent.

As we want to avoid the "failure-to-launch" syndrome so many parents and grandparents are dealing with, encouraging our children towards independence and resourcefulness is key. 

The more your child is left to figure things out for himself, the more imaginative, independent, and resourceful he will become— all vital qualities for a life well-spent. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because Liz will empower you to feel confident, calm, and motivated; as well as provide you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

A New Year's Tradition You Can Share with Your Children→

Around the world, when the New Year chimes in, there is hope. Hope for a year of prosperity, abundance, and goodwill. 

It's universal.

There’s one tradition that I love, and I wanted to share it with you because your children can join in too.

In many parts of the world, there is a New Year's tradition of reflecting on the things that didn't go well during the past year and making the intention to leave them behind. 

The Practice

The way the Buddhist practice this tradition is to write down all of the things they want to leave behind on pieces of paper and before the clock strikes midnight, they throw the paper into the fire. 

Now they are ready to move into the New Year without taking the unwanted baggage with them. What's appealing about this tradition is that it's not only based on hope, but there is a clear intention behind it. 

It's a reminder that we have the power to make significant improvements to our lives, whether it’s to work out regularly, eat better, write that book you've been talking about (me!), spending more time with loved ones, or learn a new language.

We make the intention, create the space for it, and get to work. 

Easier said than done, I know. 

Include the Children

However, it's never too early to teach our children the importance of clear intentions and the power of vision and change.

If your children are old enough to write, they can join you by writing down anything they want to leave behind, and they can make the intention to do something differently for the New Year.

If they are too young to write, then you may have to do the writing for them. It would be fun to keep copies of what they want to leave behind to look back on years later.

Another thing that’s valuable about traditions, is that the tradition you can bring into your children's lives, the more things they have to look forward to during the year.

Traditions around holidays are landmarks that define certain times of the year. They are also times for shared memories and building family bonds. 

On a larger scale, traditions are the means by which we pass on our culture and customs to the next generation. 

“Tradition: how the vitality of the past enriches the life of the present. ”

— T. S. Eliot

Some Traditions

My grandfather was from a family of Greek immigrants, so we grew up with a very big Greek family. For the New Year's, there was a special cake that we baked with a 25-cent piece hidden somewhere inside the cake. 

As children, there was always a lot of suspense to see who would get the quarter, because whoever got it was guaranteed good luck for the next year. 

And my grandmother was from Georgia. The southern tradition is to bake black-eyed peas for dinner as good luck. Eating black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day is considered good luck because after the  Civil War, that's all there was to eat.

It was actually the food for horses that kept the Southerners alive after the war.  Growing up, we celebrated this tradition, too, with the typical southern accompaniments of collard greens, cornbread, and honey butter.

Honestly, the more traditions you have, the merrier.

Happy New Year! 

May it be a good year full of hope, prosperity, and abundance.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because Liz will empower you to feel confident, calm, and motivated; as well as provide you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

6 Tips to Keep Your Kids Healthy During the Flu Season→

Just because winter is here, it doesn't mean we can expect to catch the latest bug going around. 

Trying to avoid germs is impractical because we will always come into contact with germs. What is practical is to boost our immunities so our bodies are less susceptible to infection by the germs we encounter. 

“The greatest wealth is health.”

— Virgil

And this is one of the areas where my earlier profession in Chinese medicine comes in handy. Let's  look at the top 6 ways to keep our immune systems strong.

The first is obvious but it's always good to remind ourselves.

1. Diet

Eating a healthy diet is a no-brainer, but there are some diet related ingredients we need to pay particular attention to.

AVOID

The number one ingredient to avoid for optimal immune system function is sugar. Sugar comes in many forms too. 

A diet high in fruit juices, fruits high in sugar, agave syrup, monk fruit, honey, maple syrup, and every kind of sugar you can think of, is still sugar. Keep sweet things at a very low minimum during the flu season because sugar in any form reduces our ability to fight infections.

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”

— Hippocrates

EAT PLENTY OF THESE FOODS

However, foods that boost immunity are plentiful, and there are some foods you will want to include daily such as onions, garlic, ginger, turmeric, and lemon. Cooking with onions, garlic, ginger, and turmeric are excellent for immune function. 

Tumeric lattes are a delicious winter-time drink too in place of hot chocolate.

Any high vitamin C foods will also be particularly important this time of year such as oranges, blueberries, and kiwi fruits. Salmon and broccoli are also very strengthening to the immune system.

MORNING TIP

Make your children a glass of warm water with lemon and a little bit of honey in the morning, this is a great immune booster as well as a detoxifier. 

2. Oxygen

Even during the cold months, it's vital to your child's well-being to get outdoors and play. Exercise will move more oxygen into our bodies and help to keep our blood oxygenated as well as move impurities out of it.

Exercise also makes us feel happier which helps protect our immune systems too. And, of course, it's great for brain health!

Children have a lot of what we refer to as "vital heat" or "Yang energy" in Chinese medicine, so don't panic if they want to take their coats off because they're hot from running around.

They can handle more cold than we can because their bodies run hotter than ours. However, if you have a child who is a little frail, you want to take more precaution, for sure. 

Keeping windows open to bring fresh air into the house is also important to maintaining good oxygen levels in the blood. On cold days, you can air out the house and then turn the heat up for a while. 

3. Sunshine

Vitamin D, in its natural form, is excellent for our immunity. With the weather apps, we can even map what hours during the day will have sunshine and plan our outings around those times. A little bit of sunshine is better than none, so don't miss it when it does shine. 

4. Supplements

Vitamin C is important to take especially during the winter months. In addition to vitamin C, you want to add some zinc. On the days you are without sun, you can supplement with Vitamin D as well. 

You can also give your children a spoonful of homemade elderberry syrup every day. This is a great immune booster and particularly useful if they do get ill.

5. Essential Oils

Essential oils are great for adding a daily boost to the immune system to fight off viruses and bacteria. Oregano oil can be applied to the feet at the instep of the sole three times a day. There is also a blend I like a lot called On Guard by Doterra. 

“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend.”

— Lao Tzu

Essential oils are an important part of a child's life, because they leave them with olfactory memories that your children then associate with sweet times.

Dabbing a child with Lavender oil before sleep, or frankincense and rosemary before studying, or On Guard during the flu season builds the olfactory memories in addition to the health effects. 

When I drive to my grandfather's home during the springtime, the smell of tar weed is always pungent, and it takes me straight back to my childhood. Those are the kind of memories a particular scent can trigger. 

6. Sleep

A good night's sleep is a must. It's a good idea to get your children into the habit of going to bed at the same time every night, so they wake up about the same time every morning. Children need a lot of sleep which is vital to a healthy development as well as a protection from illness.

A quiet bedtime story is the optimal way to lead an energetic child into dreamland. 

Staying healthy requires intention; it isn't something we can take for granted. The more attention you pay to your child's health by raising them to have healthy lifestyle habits, the healthier they'll be as adults. 

And the less flu’s they’ll suffer through as children. But sometimes, in spite of our best efforts, our kids still get ill, and we may get ill too.

That's life. 

Regardless, here's to a healthy winter!

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because Liz will empower you to feel confident, calm, and motivated; as well as provide you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling