4 Reasons Your Kids Should Skip Trick-or-Treating→

I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.

Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.

But that was then when Halloween was a lot more innocent. Between the food waste and the front lawn horror shows, I now stand on the side of those who think we should skip trick-or- treating.

Here are 4 good reasons for you to ponder:

#1 Health & Mixed Messages

Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.

Here’s a shocking fact to put things in perspective: the average child consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!

Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.

Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table— wow.

One Dentist’s Strategy

I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate his intention, we have to consider the message gestures like these send our children.

We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.

How can turning our kids into candy peddlers be a solution?

#2 Manners & Strangers

We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.

As a mother reflecting on the idea of trick or treating, it strikes me as being a contradiction of everything we’ve taught our children thus far.

My Shameful Story

I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day of sitting in classrooms. At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with pangs of hunger, we had this bright idea.

It was Halloween which meant that we could quell our hunger pangs by trick-or-treating!

We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?"

She gave us some candy anyway.

We teach our children that it's not polite to ask for things, yet, once a year we permit it. We teach our kids not to speak to strangers, yet, once a year we permit it. We teach our kids NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet, once a year we permit it.

Of course, there are always exceptions to rules, but these are a lot of exceptions and all in one night.

#3 Corporate Horror Show

Halloween has become a creepy holiday. The decorations have become gothic and violent since the corporate world has recognized the money to be made on Halloween.

When we were little, we had innocent little costumes: princess and cowboy outfits. Sometimes we threw a sheet over our heads and went out as ghosts. There was nothing more than a pumpkin with a candle burning inside on the doorstep of each home.

Forty years later, my neighbor would put gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved to look like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, the scene looked so real that my kids used to get scared.

So did I!

And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror film. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.

Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.

#4 Waste & Starvation

I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.

For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste.

The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly. (2022 stats)

My god, that's a shameful waste of pumpkins.

What Can Kids Do Instead of Trick-or-Treating?

1. Have a costume party

2. Start a local fund and ask people to donate $5.00—instead of buying a pumpkin—and then use the money to donate food to a local charity.

3. Study the history of Halloween, the practice of Halloween, and the contradictions of Halloween, and ask your children to take a position for or against it. Then let them have a debate with the opposing party or write an age-appropriate essay arguing their side of the argument.

What You Should Not Do

Don’t take a stance of moral superiority if you decide to skip Halloween.

I had a friend whose children would stay home on Halloween. When the neighborhood kids knocked on their door, they would offer candy and then explain why they didn’t celebrate Halloween.

The unspoken was that the family was morally superior to those who knocked on their door. I’m pretty sure that no one accepted candy from said family without feeling “less than.”

Instead, use it as an opportunity to teach your children that everyone is entitled to their beliefs and to their opinions, just as you and your children are entitled to their own.

While we may not always agree with other people, we need to respect other people’s ways because each person is born with an inherent dignity that is worthy of respect.

What do you think? Let me know in the comment section.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually, start with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

5 Ways to Encourage Your Child's Love of Learning→

A friend showed me a clip of her nine-month-old baby trying to imitate her mother's expressions. I looked into the baby's eyes as I watched the video and the intense alertness that I witnessed, the acute observation of each facial move in her mother's face, was fascinating.

The baby wanted to know how to make the same faces her mother was making, and she was trying to understand how to do this by conducting a scientific investigation.

It's the intense desire to know that all healthy children possess, yet what happens to their curiosity as they grow older? Why do so many children forsake that infinite sense of wonder that is so innate to each of us? 

“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.”

— L. Frank Baum

One of the reasons this happens today is because too many children start school at young ages, and by the time they reach kindergarten, first grade, if they are lucky, the light within them begins to dim.

Consider this: if your child’s desire to explore and understand the world around him is constantly thwarted by a teacher’s dictates, he will begin to give up his investigative work, and his sense of curiosity will eventually wilt.

For example, if a child has a small shovel in his hand, but every time he tries to shovel something a teacher tells him to stop, he will eventually stop picking the shovel up.

When a child cannot follow the lead of his curiosity, or is not in an environment where he can exercise his desire to know, as children who are in daycare and preschools from early ages are, they begin to put their curiosity down. 

If you have a child whose curiosity is waning, or whose curiosity you want to stimulate, here are five things you can do:

1. If you have to put your child into an outside program, look for a daycare or preschool that is play-based and ideally held in the outdoors, such as a Forest School. Make sure they are operated by people who understand what children need at these tender ages. If you aren't sure what the philosophy for the school is, ask them. Please do not be shy about these matters; after all, this is your child, and you want to make sure he is under the best care.

2. Immediately remove all screens from your child's life both inside and outside the home. Under no circumstances should you hand him your cell phone to quiet him because you are busy. Screens are a cause of a dimming curiosity; not only that but they will thwart your child's brain development. 

3. Do not entertain your child! Let him entertain himself. It is not that you don't ever play with your child, but only that you do not become his full-time playmate. Allow him to follow the dictates of his curiosity and figure things out for himself. Children are little scientists; let him conduct his own experiments. 

4. Be curious yourself. Take your child into the outdoors and explore with him. Let him walk barefoot on fallen leaves and dip his feet into spring water to awaken his senses. Bring his attention to the songs of birds and the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through them. Collect a bug or two and read about them when you get home. Notice a particular bird sound (my favorite is the red-winged blackbird!) and look the bird up in a reference book or on the internet when you get home. Try to imitate the bird's song with your child. Ask him questions to stimulate a conversation and discover the answers together, such as how birds fly and what foods they eat. 

5. Lastly, if you can, don't put your child into any school programs until he is at least ten years old. Until then, teach him yourself because so many learning problems take root during those early years. The first few grades of elementary school are easy to teach when you know what you are doing. 

Remember that the desire to know is our natural state, but we have this yearning socialized out of us in various ways, the least not being school. Our innate desire to know, however, is still there within us.

“An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”

— Benjamin Franklin

If your child's desire for knowledge has dimmed, trust that you can help him awaken it; because reaching his full potential in life begins with the desire to know.

Don’t miss our free download, 10 True Facts About Homeschooled Kids That Will Surprise You.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually please begin with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Why Do Children Who Have Less Accomplish More?→

Resourcefulness is a vital skill we want to help our children develop. It is a critical skill that's useful in childhood, in school / homeschool, and in life.

The easiest way to facilitate your children is to give them less stuff because resourcefulness is born out of necessity. 

Most children in the States have a lot of toys and while there's nothing inherently wrong with toys, too many will interfere with their ability to become resourceful people.

Something as simple as too many toys, can obstruct the development of the imagination, independence, creativity, sociability, and a host of other critical qualities and skills.

When you give children less, they have to work with what they have and figure out how to turn it into what they want. Isn't this something we often come up against in life?

The ability to move from a place we don't want to be into a place we long to be. 

Whether it be a physical place, such as a new home or a new country; a professional  place, such as a better job or an increase in income; or an emotional place such as more peace and equanimity in our lives, our ability to be resourceful allows us to move in directions that bring us more fulfillment and contentment.

How to Help Your Child Develop Resourcefulness

To help your children develop this skill, you need to be okay with letting them figure things out for themselves. Of course, this predicates an absence of technology in their lives. If you want to raise resourceful children, keeping them away from technology is a no-brainer. 

By the way, Jonathan Haidt, who is a moral philosopher, has determined in his research that the epidemic of suicide, depression, and anxiety which we are seeing increase amongst our youth is not restricted to America or even the West. 

It is universal and correlates perfectly with the introduction of technology in children's lives. Which means that we take a gamble on the emotional  health and well-being of our children when we hand them a screen to keep them occupied.

Screens are not babysitters; they are mind-dumbing, heart-numbing devices. 

On the contrary, the more you leave your child to use his mind to imagine what he wants from objects around the house such as brooms or boxes, the more resourceful he will become. 

THE CREATIVITY FACTOR

Resourcefulness is predicated upon a strong imagination and a creative spirit which children who grow up in wholesome environments will naturally possess.

For example, if your daughter wants her own kitchen to cook in, refrain from buying her a ready-made toy kitchen. A child who has a strong imagination might ask you for a box or a sheet to create her own kitchen using her imagination. 

Your first thought might be something like, "I don't want her to dirty a sheet!," but a dirty sheet is a small price to pay for the benefit your daughter will derive from it. 

Another thought is that instead of buying a Lego toy with the items and directions to build a space station or what not for your son, give him a box of Legos and let him build his own space station by using his imagination. 

Toy companies don't make new toys because they think it will benefit  your child; they come up with new ideas to stay profitable.

But their profit is at the expense of our children. Children do not need a lot of toys. If you visit an historic home,  you'll see that in the children's room there aren't a lot of toys. Usually what is there mimics real life too. 

Maybe you'll see a horse or a wooden doll or a rocking horse, but you won't see much. 

Children who whine and complain that they have nothing to do are children who have not learned how to take control and figure things out for themselves. 

They fail to learn this because we mistakenly think it's our responsibility to help them find something to do or to help them do things.

Children will find the world a fascinating place and happily discover how to entertain themselves if we leave them to it. 

Not only will this help them to become resourceful, but it also teaches them independence.

Let's not fall for this misguided trend that if we are not involved with our children 24/7, we're somehow a bad parent. On the contrary, you’re a wise parent.

As we want to avoid the "failure-to-launch" syndrome so many parents and grandparents are dealing with, encouraging our children towards independence and resourcefulness is key. 

The more your child is left to figure things out for himself, the more imaginative, independent, and resourceful he will become— all vital qualities for a life well-spent. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because Liz will empower you to feel confident, calm, and motivated; as well as provide you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

A New Year's Tradition You Can Share with Your Children→

Around the world, when the New Year chimes in, there is hope. Hope for a year of prosperity, abundance, and goodwill. 

It's universal.

There’s one tradition that I love, and I wanted to share it with you because your children can join in too.

In many parts of the world, there is a New Year's tradition of reflecting on the things that didn't go well during the past year and making the intention to leave them behind. 

The Practice

The way the Buddhist practice this tradition is to write down all of the things they want to leave behind on pieces of paper and before the clock strikes midnight, they throw the paper into the fire. 

Now they are ready to move into the New Year without taking the unwanted baggage with them. What's appealing about this tradition is that it's not only based on hope, but there is a clear intention behind it. 

It's a reminder that we have the power to make significant improvements to our lives, whether it’s to work out regularly, eat better, write that book you've been talking about (me!), spending more time with loved ones, or learn a new language.

We make the intention, create the space for it, and get to work. 

Easier said than done, I know. 

Include the Children

However, it's never too early to teach our children the importance of clear intentions and the power of vision and change.

If your children are old enough to write, they can join you by writing down anything they want to leave behind, and they can make the intention to do something differently for the New Year.

If they are too young to write, then you may have to do the writing for them. It would be fun to keep copies of what they want to leave behind to look back on years later.

Another thing that’s valuable about traditions, is that the tradition you can bring into your children's lives, the more things they have to look forward to during the year.

Traditions around holidays are landmarks that define certain times of the year. They are also times for shared memories and building family bonds. 

On a larger scale, traditions are the means by which we pass on our culture and customs to the next generation. 

“Tradition: how the vitality of the past enriches the life of the present. ”

— T. S. Eliot

Some Traditions

My grandfather was from a family of Greek immigrants, so we grew up with a very big Greek family. For the New Year's, there was a special cake that we baked with a 25-cent piece hidden somewhere inside the cake. 

As children, there was always a lot of suspense to see who would get the quarter, because whoever got it was guaranteed good luck for the next year. 

And my grandmother was from Georgia. The southern tradition is to bake black-eyed peas for dinner as good luck. Eating black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day is considered good luck because after the  Civil War, that's all there was to eat.

It was actually the food for horses that kept the Southerners alive after the war.  Growing up, we celebrated this tradition, too, with the typical southern accompaniments of collard greens, cornbread, and honey butter.

Honestly, the more traditions you have, the merrier.

Happy New Year! 

May it be a good year full of hope, prosperity, and abundance.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because Liz will empower you to feel confident, calm, and motivated; as well as provide you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

6 Tips to Keep Your Kids Healthy During the Flu Season→

Just because winter is here, it doesn't mean we can expect to catch the latest bug going around. 

Trying to avoid germs is impractical because we will always come into contact with germs. What is practical is to boost our immunities so our bodies are less susceptible to infection by the germs we encounter. 

“The greatest wealth is health.”

— Virgil

And this is one of the areas where my earlier profession in Chinese medicine comes in handy. Let's  look at the top 6 ways to keep our immune systems strong.

The first is obvious but it's always good to remind ourselves.

1. Diet

Eating a healthy diet is a no-brainer, but there are some diet related ingredients we need to pay particular attention to.

AVOID

The number one ingredient to avoid for optimal immune system function is sugar. Sugar comes in many forms too. 

A diet high in fruit juices, fruits high in sugar, agave syrup, monk fruit, honey, maple syrup, and every kind of sugar you can think of, is still sugar. Keep sweet things at a very low minimum during the flu season because sugar in any form reduces our ability to fight infections.

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”

— Hippocrates

EAT PLENTY OF THESE FOODS

However, foods that boost immunity are plentiful, and there are some foods you will want to include daily such as onions, garlic, ginger, turmeric, and lemon. Cooking with onions, garlic, ginger, and turmeric are excellent for immune function. 

Tumeric lattes are a delicious winter-time drink too in place of hot chocolate.

Any high vitamin C foods will also be particularly important this time of year such as oranges, blueberries, and kiwi fruits. Salmon and broccoli are also very strengthening to the immune system.

MORNING TIP

Make your children a glass of warm water with lemon and a little bit of honey in the morning, this is a great immune booster as well as a detoxifier. 

2. Oxygen

Even during the cold months, it's vital to your child's well-being to get outdoors and play. Exercise will move more oxygen into our bodies and help to keep our blood oxygenated as well as move impurities out of it.

Exercise also makes us feel happier which helps protect our immune systems too. And, of course, it's great for brain health!

Children have a lot of what we refer to as "vital heat" or "Yang energy" in Chinese medicine, so don't panic if they want to take their coats off because they're hot from running around.

They can handle more cold than we can because their bodies run hotter than ours. However, if you have a child who is a little frail, you want to take more precaution, for sure. 

Keeping windows open to bring fresh air into the house is also important to maintaining good oxygen levels in the blood. On cold days, you can air out the house and then turn the heat up for a while. 

3. Sunshine

Vitamin D, in its natural form, is excellent for our immunity. With the weather apps, we can even map what hours during the day will have sunshine and plan our outings around those times. A little bit of sunshine is better than none, so don't miss it when it does shine. 

4. Supplements

Vitamin C is important to take especially during the winter months. In addition to vitamin C, you want to add some zinc. On the days you are without sun, you can supplement with Vitamin D as well. 

You can also give your children a spoonful of homemade elderberry syrup every day. This is a great immune booster and particularly useful if they do get ill.

5. Essential Oils

Essential oils are great for adding a daily boost to the immune system to fight off viruses and bacteria. Oregano oil can be applied to the feet at the instep of the sole three times a day. There is also a blend I like a lot called On Guard by Doterra. 

“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend.”

— Lao Tzu

Essential oils are an important part of a child's life, because they leave them with olfactory memories that your children then associate with sweet times.

Dabbing a child with Lavender oil before sleep, or frankincense and rosemary before studying, or On Guard during the flu season builds the olfactory memories in addition to the health effects. 

When I drive to my grandfather's home during the springtime, the smell of tar weed is always pungent, and it takes me straight back to my childhood. Those are the kind of memories a particular scent can trigger. 

6. Sleep

A good night's sleep is a must. It's a good idea to get your children into the habit of going to bed at the same time every night, so they wake up about the same time every morning. Children need a lot of sleep which is vital to a healthy development as well as a protection from illness.

A quiet bedtime story is the optimal way to lead an energetic child into dreamland. 

Staying healthy requires intention; it isn't something we can take for granted. The more attention you pay to your child's health by raising them to have healthy lifestyle habits, the healthier they'll be as adults. 

And the less flu’s they’ll suffer through as children. But sometimes, in spite of our best efforts, our kids still get ill, and we may get ill too.

That's life. 

Regardless, here's to a healthy winter!

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because Liz will empower you to feel confident, calm, and motivated; as well as provide you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

4 Reasons Your Kids Should Skip Halloween This Year→

I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.

Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.

But now, I stand on the side of those who think we should ban Halloween.

#1 Health & Mixed Messages

Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.

Do you have any idea how much sugar they consume? The average child consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!

Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.

The gross amount of sugar consumption creates severe sugar spikes in our children's blood levels, leaving them feeling not so well.

Overeating candy comes with the underconsumption of wholesome foods, which only exacerbates the problem.

Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table— wow.

I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate the intention behind this gesture, is it sending our kids the right message?

We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.

How can turning our kids into greedy candy peddlers be a solution?

#2 Manners & Strangers

We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year, we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.

One gutsy moment for me as a child happened on my way home from school. I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day of sitting in classrooms.

At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with stomach pains from hunger, we had this bright idea.

We could trick-or-treat!

We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?"

She gave us some candy anyway.

As a mother reflecting on the idea of trick or treating, it strikes me as being a contradiction of everything we’ve taught our children thus far.

We teach them that it's not polite to ask for things, yet once a year, it is permitted. We teach our kids not to speak to strangers and NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet once a year, it is permissible.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rules, but this one seems to go a little too far.

#3 Corporate Horror Show

Halloween has become a creepy holiday; the decorations have become gothic and violent since the corporate world has recognized it’s money-making potential.

When we were little, we had innocent little costumes: princesses and cowboy outfits. You could be a witch if you wanted, but the witch was harmless.

In my old neighborhood, a neighbor had gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved and looked like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, my kids used to get scared because the scene looked so real.

So did I!

And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor in the town next to us would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror movie. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.

Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.

#4 Waste & Starvation

I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.

For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste.

The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly. (2022 stats)

My god, that's shameful.

What Can Kids Do Instead of Trick or Treating?

1. Have a costume party

2. Start a local fund and ask people to donate $5.00—instead of buying a pumpkin—and then use the money to donate food to a local charity.

3. Study the history of Halloween, the practice of Halloween, and the contradictions of Halloween, and ask your children to take a position for or against it and write an age-appropriate essay.

What You Should Not Do

1. Don’t take a stance of moral superiority if you decide to skip Halloween.

I had a friend once whose children would stay home on Halloween. When the neighborhood kids knocked on their door, they would offer candy and then explain to them why they didn’t celebrate Halloween.

The unspoken was that the family was morally superior to those ill-fated enough to knock on their door, and no one accepted candy from that family without feeling a little less good about themselves.

Instead, teach your children that everyone is entitled to their beliefs and to their opinions, just as your children are entitled to their own.

While your children may not always agree with other people, they do need to respect other people’s ways because each person on earth is worthy of being treated with respect and dignity.

And lastly, if you decide to skip Halloween, don’t give candy to other people’s children. Put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door and leave it at that.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Raising Stellar Kids Begins With Our Habits!→

We impact our children’s character development every single day through our own behavior.

Yet, we don’t stop often enough to reflect upon the messages we send our children through our words and actions — even the expressions on our face.

For example, a common habit which we all have today is spending time on our phones around our children.

The typical scenario looks like this: We’re texting a friend or maybe we’re surfing the web when the child asks for something. We reply by telling him to wait as we continue looking at our screen.

The child begins to whine, and we mumble to him that we’ll be there in a second. But we’re not there in a second.

The message a child gets is that the phone is more important than he is.

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

— Phyllis Diller

Those two minutes we intend to spend on the phone can add up to hours in a day, and the hours in a day, over time, can add up to weeks and so on and so on.

To put things in perspective, in 2023, the average person will spend 3.15 hours on their phone every day; 12.6 hours per week; 50.4 hours per month; 604.8 hours per year.

You can see what a strong message we give our kids when we take a “quick” glance at our phones.

In addition, our kids will probably grow up to repeat the same pattern with their children. Don’t you find yourself repeating patterns that were once your parents?

I’m not suggesting we should cater to our child’s every whim, only that we should be diligent in the way we show up for our kids.

We can replace the smartphone with any bad habit, such as, eating junk food or eating too much; not exercising, using bad language, not keeping our word, gossiping, telling too many “white” lies, or working too much.

Our bad habits become examples for our children, so if we want to raise our kids well, we have to start by working on ourselves.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ”

— Aristotle

Raising kids above the fold takes a combination of factors and one of these factors is our own habits.

We need to reflect on our habits because it’s easy to go through life oblivious to things that seem inconsequential at the moment, but with time they become lessons we teach our children, for better or for worse.

Let’s take inventory of our habits; the things we think, say, and do — are they messages that will serve us and serve our children well over time?

If not, let’s work to replace those bad habits with good habits.

Start with one bad habit, conquer it, and then choose another. To try and tackle many bad habits at once would be to invite defeat. One step at a time in replacing the bad with the good while we adopt better habits for ourselves.

Be specific with ourselves about precisely what bad habit we are replacing with what good habit, so every time we find ourselves falling back into the bad one, we can quickly self-correct by replacing it with the good habit.

It’s not until our children are older and have developed their own habits, values, and beliefs that we come face-to-face with our own shortcomings.

We’ll naturally become more effective parents if we become aware of the little things we do that add up to the big lessons we teach.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

What Key Trait Do Independent Thinkers Possess?→

It's easy to adorn oneself according to the latest fad, but it’s not so easy to stand in one’s truth when it goes against mob rule.

Learning to think and act independently requires courage: the courage to do what's right and just even in the face of ridicule, the loss of friends, or a loss of income.

John Taylor Gatto was an excellent example. He quit teaching when he was in his 60s, because he discovered that schools were causing more harm to children than good.

As a public schoolteacher, he believed that he was a part of the problem.

John sent an op-ed to the Wall Street Journal and announced his decision to quit teaching in schools. When you are a couple of years away from retirement and a pension plan, it takes a lot of courage to walk away.

“Character is higher than intellect.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sporting purple hair and nose rings is not a sign of an independent character. People who dye their hair crazy colors and fill their bodies with tattoos and rings are following a group-think fad in spite of their belief to the contrary.

We should teach our children to dress well and to conform to outward standards of propriety but to be nonconforming in their attitudes, beliefs and values.

Because the greater independence of the mind is not manifest outwardly; it's an inward state.

To raise our children to be independent in mind, we need to foster courage in their characters.

People often mistake courage for the absence of fear, but the absence of fear can lead to rashness. Courage is not an absence of fear, but the ability to act in spite of one’s fear.

For example, my children performed at piano recitals, recited poetry to small audiences, and attended public speaking classes. Through these kind of activities, they learned to develop their courage muscle.

Permitting your child to run into a local grocery store alone, to climb a tree, or to ride a bike for the first time are all activities that will strengthen his courage.

Every day there will be opportunities to let our children strengthen their courage.

As we know from Aristotle, and as we can observe in our own lives,  our daily habits add up to the quality of our characters.

Children like to challenge themselves, and we need to encourage them to do so. The more they learn to face challenges in spite of the difficulty or discomfort, the more courage they develop.

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”

— Mark Twain

Having courage will also help to preserve their moral integrity, because having moral integrity requires us to stand in our truth both privately and in public.

Someone once told me that I needed to develop a “public” persona. In other words, I should have two selves; one for the public and one for my private life.

But I believe the goal is to have one self.

As Shakespeare said in Hamlet:

“This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

5 Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Curiosity→

A friend showed me a clip of her nine-month-old baby.

I looked into the baby's eyes as I watched the video. The intense alertness that I witnessed, the acute observation of each facial move she saw in her mother's face, was fascinating.

The baby wanted to know how to make the same expressions her mother was making.

It's the intense desire to know that all healthy children possess, yet what happens to their curiosity as they grow a little older?

Why do so many children forsake that infinite sense of wonder that’s so innate to each of us? 

“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.”

— L. Frank Baum

One of the reasons for this is because too many children start school at young ages. By the time they reach kindergarten or first grade, the light of curiosity begins to dim.

Think about it. If your child has a small shovel in his hand, but every time he tries to shovel something his teacher tells him to stop, he will eventually stop picking the shovel up.

When a child cannot follow the lead of his curiosity, or is not in an environment where he can exercise his desire to know, he will put his curiosity on the shelf.

Yet, the level of his curiosity is related to his intelligence. The more curious he is, the more he will exercise his mind to discover or learn something. To lose his curiosity would be a tragedy because it means he would never fully develop into all that he can be.

We cannot let this happen! Therefore, if you want to encourage your child’s natural curiosity, whether it has been dimmed or not, here are five things you can do:

1. If you have to put your child into an outside program, look for a daycare or preschool that is play-based and ideally held in the outdoors, such as a Forest School. Make sure they are operated by people who understand what children need at these tender ages.

2. Do not entertain your child! It is not that you don't ever play with your child, but only that you do not become his full-time playmate. Allow him to follow the dictates of his curiosity and figure things out for himself, so he develops his mind. Children are little scientists by nature. In the right environment, they will learn how to entertain themselves. 

3. Be curious yourself. Take your child into the outdoors and explore with him. Let him walk barefoot on fallen leaves and dip his feet into spring water to awaken his senses. Bring his attention to the songs of birds and the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through them. Collect a bug or two and read about them when you get home.

4. Immediately remove all screens from your child's life both inside and outside the home. Under no circumstances should you hand him your cell phone to quiet him because you are busy. Screens are a cause of a dimming curiosity; not only that but they will thwart your child's brain development. 

5. Lastly, if you can, don't put your child into any school programs until he is at least ten years old. Until then, teach him yourself because so many learning problems take root during those early years. The first few grades of elementary school are easy to teach when you know what you are doing. 

Here’s a thought: our ability to excel, to become the best version of ourselves, begins with our desire to know.

“An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”

— Benjamin Franklin

Let’s work to keep our children’s curiosity alive—even if that means teaching them ourselves— so they can become all that they can be.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise brighter and more creative children.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

*****

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA

Should We Ban Trick-or-Treating?→

I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.

Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.

But now, I stand on the side of those who think we should ban trick-or-treating.

#1 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.

Do you have any idea how much sugar they consume? The average kid consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!

Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.

The gross amount of sugar consumption creates severe sugar spikes in our children's blood levels, leaving them feeling not so well.

Overeating candy comes with the underconsumption of wholesome foods, which only exacerbates the problem.

Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table—wow.

I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate the intention behind this gesture, is it sending our kids the right message?

We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.

How can turning our kids into greedy candy peddlers be a solution? Greed is the #1 problem in the world today, and we are all suffering because of it. We don't want to encourage greediness in our children, do we?

#2 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year, we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.

One shameful moment for me as a kid happened one day on my way home from school. I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day sitting in classrooms.

At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with grumbling stomachs, we had this bright idea.

We could trick-or-treat!

We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?" She gave us some candy anyway.

As an adult looking back, not just on that isolated incident but on the idea of knocking on a stranger's door and asking for candy, isn't this a contradiction?

We teach our kids not to speak to strangers and NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet once a year, it is permissible. We teach them that it's not polite to ask for things, yet once a year, it is permitted.

#3 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

But here's the crux of the matter: Halloween is a creepy holiday; it has gotten even creepier since the corporate world has taken it more seriously.

In my old neighborhood, a neighbor had gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved and looked like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, my kids used to get scared because the scene looked so real.

So did I!

And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor in the town next to us would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror movie. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.

Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.

I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.

For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste. The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly.

My god, that's shameful.

On second thought, we should ban Halloween.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents of school-age children, we guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise more intelligent children of a better character.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA

Why You Shouldn't Focus on Your Child's Happiness

I believe it was Isocrates who said that the healthy child wants to become an adult. In raising our children well, we must teach them how to act and think like mature people.

Yet, the phrase we hear most often repeated is this: 

"I just want him to be happy." 

But if you think about it, it isn't what you most want. What you most want is that he grows up to be a decent, hard-working, mature adult. If you raise him to become these things, then happiness will follow.

As the ancients understood and current research now proves, happiness is found in living a virtuous life. The modern pursuit of pleasure and good times, it turns out, is just a myth being thrust upon us by very sophisticated and manipulative marketing techniques.

Contrary to this empty rhetoric, a good life does not come from the pursuit and acquisition of pleasure, in whatever form you desire, but it comes from being a virtuous person. As the concept of "virtue" seems to be an idea that’s gone out of fashion, let me share with you some of the qualities that a virtuous person might possess:

Humility, courage, mercy, patience, tolerance, diligence, and generosity. These are some of the qualities a truly “happy” person might embody.

To inculcate these kind of qualities in your child, you must begin when he is very young.

You must train him in the way of good habits, and then, and only then, will you be able to raise a happy child who later becomes a happy adult. One state naturally follows the other. 

What is the key to raising a child with good habits?

Raise a child who is obedient and does the right thing, not from fear of you, but from a deep love and respect for you. 

We don't need behavioral studies to prove this; we need to pay attention. A child who is always complaining and throwing tantrums and always asking for this and that is not a happy child, is he? Nor is the child who is always doing what he is told not to do. 

However, the kind of training that protects from these unhappy states must start when your child is very young. You should begin training your child in the ways of good behavior as soon as he or she turns two years of age.

If you wait until much later to begin, the training process becomes increasingly more difficult. Waiting too long means you will need to correct bad habits first and then work on instilling the good habits in your child.

It’s a much more tedious and frustrating experience to correct bad habits than it is to avoid them from forming in the first place.

“Give me a child until he is seven and I will show you the man.”

— Aristotle

If you fail to raise your child well, then he will be destined to spend the rest of his life working to correct deeply ingrained negative traits (a lifetime pursuit and not for the easily discouraged). Even worse, he will perpetuate and suffer the ills in life (as will everyone he encounters) that arise from not being a good person.

You see, the opposite of the virtuous person would be the wretched one who will never know any real happiness. We've all known wretched people, especially as they get older and nature carves their wretched states into their faces. We certainly don't want this for our children!

In a nutshell, if you focus on the happiness factor when your child is young, you will fail to raise a happy child. Focus on raising a decent child first, and his happiness will follow. 

If you don't know where to begin, do this: throw out all of your parenting books and stop asking your friends for advice (the latter is the equivalent of the blind leading the blind).  Moving forward, begin to think about the consequences of your actions as a parent.

Start asking yourself questions such as, "If I do this, then what is the message I am giving my child?" If I let him do this, then what am I teaching him about his behavior and the journey of life?"

For example, this may surprise you to know that many parents look to their children's desires to decide how they should educate them. I know this for a fact (no studies done, yet) because the parents say things to me like, "I thought about homeschooling, but he wanted to go to school with his neighborhood friends," or "I thought about homeschooling, but he's so social, and I think he'd be happier in school."

How you educate your child is a huge decision that will alter the course of his life, but he is too young to make such a life-changing decision. You are the adult; this is your decision to make for your child. 

It doesn't matter if he prefers to go to school with friends or that you think he would be happier in school because he has friends to socialize with every day. What matters is whether or not a school is the best place for your child or whether another option might be such as homeschooling.

You have to weigh the pros and cons accurately and objectively before you make this kind of a decision.

Base your decision upon your values and what you want for your children. If you want to raise decent children, you have to consider the moral environment of the child.

If you're going to raise highly intelligent children, you have to evaluate the level of academic training a school offers. If you want both, then you have to look for an educational model that provides both,

If you only care about your child's immediate happiness, then you can let him make this decision. 

I used the example of educational decisions because I hear about them a lot, but the truth is that there are many decisions we let our children make every day, such as when they can finish playing; when they need to do their chores; when they need to get ready for bed. 

Instead of training them to understand that these are non-negotiable commands we make of our children, we go to the negotiating table with them and let them argue their case for an extension of time for whatever it is they want to do.

We also exhaust ourselves in the process, which is one reason parents find raising children so challenging today. It's always tiring to have to argue with someone and then give in to them when they should have done what you asked them to do in the first place.

Children need most, and what they don't have enough of are adults who guide them on their way to maturity by concerning themselves less with whether or not their children are happy and more with whether or not the parents are training their children well.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

— Aristotle

The point to childhood is to prepare for adulthood; you should be less concerned about making a child happy and more concerned about raising a child who grows up to be a responsible, honorable, and mature adult.

It's not uncommon today to see grown children well into their 30's, or 40's still living at home because they can't make it on their own. The other day, my 30-something chiropractor told me that half of his friends still live at home.

I know of many situations where the parents still have aging children at home. An offspring well into adulthood and living at home out of necessity was unheard of when I was young.

Literally.

Make your priority for your children less about their happiness and more about behaving well and doing the right thing.

If you do, the chances are strong that you'll be able to enjoy your golden years knowing your kids are doing well and on the way to acquiring the kind of happiness that comes from living a good life.

*****

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, course will be open again sometime in March, 2021.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

5 Ways to Stimulate Your Child's Love of Learning

The other night a friend showed me a clip of her nine-month-old baby trying to imitate her mother's expressions. I looked into the baby's eyes as I watched the video and the intense alertness that I witnessed, the acute observation of each facial move in her mother's face, was fascinating.

The baby wanted to know how to make the same faces her mother was making, and she was trying to understand how to do this by conducting a scientific investigation.

It's the intense desire to know that all healthy children possess, yet what happens to their curiosity as they grow older? Why do so many children forsake that infinite sense of wonder that is so innate to each of us? 

“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.”

— L. Frank Baum

One of the reasons this happens today is because too many children start school at young ages, and by the time they reach kindergarten, first grade, if they are lucky, the light within them begins to dim.

Consider this: if your child’s desire to explore and understand the world around him is constantly thwarted by a teacher’s dictates, he will begin to give up his investigative work, and his sense of curiosity will eventually wilt.

For example, if a child has a small shovel in his hand, but every time he tries to shovel something a teacher tells him to stop, he will eventually stop picking the shovel up.

When a child cannot follow the lead of his curiosity, or is not in an environment where he can exercise his desire to know, as children who are in daycare and preschools from early ages are, they begin to put their curiosity down. 

If you have a child whose curiosity is waning, or whose curiosity you want to stimulate, here are five things you can do:

1. If you have to put your child into an outside program, look for a daycare or preschool that is play-based and ideally held in the outdoors, such as a Forest School. Make sure they are operated by people who understand what children need at these tender ages. If you aren't sure what the philosophy for the school is, ask them. Please do not be shy about these matters; after all, this is your child, and you want to make sure he is under the best care.

2. Immediately remove all screens from your child's life both inside and outside the home. Under no circumstances should you hand him your cell phone to quiet him because you are busy. Screens are a cause of a dimming curiosity; not only that but they will thwart your child's brain development. 

3. Do not entertain your child! Let him entertain himself. It is not that you don't ever play with your child, but only that you do not become his full-time playmate. Allow him to follow the dictates of his curiosity and figure things out for himself. Children are little scientists; let him conduct his own experiments. 

4. Be curious yourself. Take your child into the outdoors and explore with him. Let him walk barefoot on fallen leaves and dip his feet into spring water to awaken his senses. Bring his attention to the songs of birds and the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through them. Collect a bug or two and read about them when you get home. Notice a particular bird sound (my favorite is the red-winged blackbird!) and look the bird up in a reference book or on the internet when you get home. Try to imitate the bird's song with your child. Ask him questions to stimulate a conversation and discover the answers together, such as how birds fly and what foods they eat. 

5. Lastly, if you can, don't put your child into any school programs until he is at least ten years old. Until then, teach him yourself because so many learning problems take root during those early years. The first few grades of elementary school are easy to teach when you know what you are doing. 

Remember that the desire to know is our natural state, but we have this yearning socialized out of us in various ways, the least not being school. Our innate desire to know, however, is still there within us.

“An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”

— Benjamin Franklin

If your child's desire for knowledge has dimmed for any of the above reasons, understand that you can help him awaken it. It is something you must make the intention to do too because reaching his full potential in life begins with the desire to know.

Why should he become less than he could be when he can be so much more?

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, course will be open again sometime in March, 2021.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.