All hope is not lost. There are things you can do, and I’m going to share those with you shortly. But first, it’s important to understand why a spouse (or anyone) might resist the idea of homeschooling.
Usually, a spouse doesn't agree with homeschooling because they don’t understand what John Taylor Gatto would refer to as "the dangers of public school."
“It is time that we squarely face the fact that institutional schoolteaching is destructive to children.”
If your husband’s mind is already set against homeschooling, you have to approach the situation very gingerly. You cannot push your views on someone, least of all your husband.
But you can start the conversation by asking him this question: "Tell me what your goals are when you think of the education of our children?" And then follow up with this question: "What would it take for you to feel comfortable about homeschooling our children?"
You have now opened the channels for him to let you know his goals and concerns in a non-threatening way. Listen carefully and understand that he wants what is best for his children as you do.
He is not coming from a place of belligerence but of genuine concern.
Your husband will probably bring up objections such as he's concerned they won't get what they need academically, which will hurt their chances of getting into a good college.
He may say that he's worried about the socialization factor and that he doesn't want his kids to grow up to be social misfits. He might say that you aren't an accredited teacher and therefore not qualified to teach your own children.
Maybe he doesn't know any homeschoolers, and the idea sounds too fantastic to him?
He also might express concern for character development and key qualities he wants his kids to have such as creativity, integrity, moral values, resilience, and discipline (all of which the kids will most likely not get in school).
“School is a twelve-year jail sentence where bad habits are the only curriculum truly learned. I teach school and win awards doing it. I should know.”
Whatever his objections are, you want to take note and ask him if he would be open to watching some videos on the subject, looking at some research, or even reading some books together?
If you keep the conversation non-threatening and show a genuine interest in his views and concerns, most reasonable husbands will oblige their wives.
Now, this is the tricky part because you will need to provide him with information that is sound and to the point. I'm going to share some resources that should help you educate your husband (or anyone) about the unparalleled benefits of homeschooling and the many problems with public school.
Grab your free resource here: 10 Resources to Convince Anyone About the Merits of Homeschooling.
This resource is also helpful if you have family members or friends who are strongly opposed to homeschooling.
Some points to remember:
Be careful about taking the attitude of proving your spouse wrong. No one likes to be proven wrong, and trying to show your spouse that you were right will not help your cause. Instead, you want to humble yourself and be gentle in the way you handle the situation.
Go slowly.
When someone has a fixed opinion, it’s prudent to allow time for that person to shift into a new mindset. Start early by educating your spouse when your children are young, and by the time they are ready to go to school, hopefully, you'll both be excited about homeschooling!
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Become a Smart Homeschooler to raise smart, ethical, and critically-thinking children. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully as well as live ongoing support from Elizabeth.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.
Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.
