Western culture promotes the idea that mothers can leave their young children to a full-time babysitter with zero impact on the child's well-being.

Creating concepts like "Primary caregiver" somehow makes the idea more palatable. But can we replace a mother’s care like we would replace a paper cup?

Babies would beg to differ.

Even though our common sense tells us our children need us, and our hearts tell us our children need us, many of us ignore this and accept the cultural untruth we hear every day that children do fine in daycare.

Still, many more of us have no choice but to work when our children are young because our country doesn't value motherhood.

The fact is this: a baby comes into the world completely dependent upon the care of others for its survival, without which it will die. The baby's very life depends upon someone assuming 24/7 responsibility for his needs, both emotional and physical.

If we put ourselves in our baby's booties, we would see a very different perspective regarding the “primary caregiver” euphemism.

Your Baby's Perspective

He lives in your body for nine months and has grown accustomed to the rhythm of your heartbeat. He knows the sound of your voice. He feels the pulse of your moods. And then, suddenly, one day, he experiences a traumatic event. When it is over, he finds his familiar surroundings gone. Instead, he is in an unknown place, full of lights and strange voices, and he screams.

It's instinctual.

He screams for the one thing he comes into this world knowing; the comfort of his mother's heart. Not just her physical heart, but her metaphysical heart, too: her being.

If she's a kind, loving, and caring mother who remains with him, he flourishes.

But if she has to go back to work two weeks after he is born, as many mothers are obligated to do today, and some even choose to do, he is placed in daycare with strangers. The stranger is contracted to play "mother" while his real mother is absent for eight or nine hours a day.

Wouldn't it be stressful for you if you were suddenly picked up and transplanted into a world of strangers, who spoke a language you didn't understand, and you had no idea what had happened?

For a moment, just imagine what this would feel like!

The quality of the care the child gets matters very much.

A baby who receives the minimal supervision of being fed and kept clean is at risk of mental retardation and even death, as we've seen from the orphanages in Romania.

There are degrees of emotional connection we have with one another. On one end of the spectrum, a child can have an uncaring caregiver like the children in Romania, which, again, caused the deaths of many orphans. At the other end of the spectrum, a child can experience the loving care of a mother who nourishes her child and whose child thrives.

What Science Has to Say About It

Science tells us that children in daycare do not always blossom as children at home with their mothers do. Daycare children have weaker immune systems, more frequent colds and more ear infections. We know that stress suppresses our immune systems, so these findings should not surprise us.

Science also tells us that children develop signs of mental instability as early as five years of age now. We have childhood problems such as anxiety and depression on the rise. These kinds of mental afflictions are an unprecedented modern phenomenon that correlates with the shift from full-time mother to full-time working mother.

Questionably, the conclusion to studies like these is never that babies and young children need their mothers at home instead of the office.

And what about the mother? When the working mother is home, she is fraught with the burden of domestic duties with little left for the emotional nurturing of her family.

Stress affects our body, and it affects our mind, too; it alters our outlook on life. It's not only the baby that suffers. We can tell ourselves that everything will be all right, but unless we get our stress levels under control, we can't stop the stress from taking its toll on our well-being too.

The Broken Heart Syndrome

There was a man I once knew who was suffering from exhaustion and weight loss. At the time, he suspected he might have a chronic illness, so he went to his doctor and was put through a battery of tests, all negative.

The doctor began to ask him about his life to see if an event could have triggered his symptoms. My friend admitted that he had been recovering from a break-up with a woman he had intended to marry. Even though a year had passed, he was still struggling with his loss.

The doctor's diagnosis: a broken heart.

We know adults die from broken hearts; why do we expect babies to be more resilient than adults?

It's not surprising that the increase in child mortality rates also corresponds with the rise in mothers going back to work, and that significantly more SID cases happen in daycare.

Natures Infinite Protection

What about the maternal instinct that prompts us to check on our baby just in the nick of time? If you are a mother with older children, then you know it's a miracle your child survived his childhood.

No matter how diligent we are, children will have plenty of close calls with danger; it is unavoidable. The child doesn’t fall over the precipice, though, because we get that nudge in our hearts to make sure everything is all right; but sometimes it isn't all right, and we arrive just in the nick of time to save him from a perilous situation.

Unless she's a highly intuitive person, a daycare worker will not have this life-saving maternal instinct for the babies under her care. It's something the mother has, which is why we call it "maternal" instinct.

One in four mothers has to return to work just weeks after her baby is born, so it should not bewilder us that America has the highest infant mortality rate of industrialized nations. Seventy-five percent of mothers work today. Three-quarters of the homes in our country are bereft of a mother during her child's prime waking hours.

The Beatles Nailed It

“Money can't buy me love,” the Beatles sang back in the 60s. No caregiver, primary or not, can match the care of a mother for her young.

If we want to build healthy, happy families, we can't leave the responsibility of raising our children to a paid employee. The well-being of your child, and the strength of your bond with your child, depends upon your being present in your child's life.

Because you, dear mother, are indispensable.

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Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to help parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.