Why We Should NOT Teach Our Kids to Follow Their Passion
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Teaching our children to follow their passions sounds promising, but when we don’t couple it with helping our children develop self-restraint, we could be setting our kids up for a lifetime of difficulty.
What do We Mean by Passion?
Passion is an interesting word. It comes from a Latin root, impetus which means an impulse, a force, but it is also has a meaning which stems from the root perpessio which means to suffer.
Our passions are unrestrained emotional forces from which we can suffer.
Following our passions is usually at the expense of our reason.
Our reason is what allows us to make decisions and act in accordance with our values and beliefs, so we can live a life of integrity, of happiness.
In the sense of doing what you love, follow your passion makes sense, but the maxim has become a lens through which we view our lives, and the lens of passion can be a dangerous lens.
As adults, we should learn to control our passions, otherwise known as emotions, so that we act with reason. Not being in control of our emotions is a sign of low emotional intelligence and low EQ leads to less fulfilled lives.
A child will follow his strong, uncontrollable emotions. The sign of a mature person is that he is able to restrain his emotions for the greater good of himself and others.
Competent child-rearing and a sound education include training the mind towards disciplined behavior and sound decision-making. Without clear thinking, we can make regretful choices and we can misguide others.
“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. ”
We aren't taught as children to keep our passions in check, but we should be. It's something children used to be taught because we used to understood what constituted the good life.
Now we, as Western people, are raised and educated to do what makes us feel good, regardless of the consequences our feeling good might have on ourselves and other people. In turn, we raise our children to do the same.
Yet, the follow your passion maxim is hedonistic, and it doesn't support what we know about the acquisition of happiness.
Happiness is rooted in virtue, as Aristotle taught in Ancient Greece and wise psychologists like Jonathon Haidt are still teaching today.
“He is happy who lives in accordance with complete virtue and is sufficiently equipped with external goods, not for some chance period but throughout a complete life.”
From everything we know about happiness and from everything we know about suffering, teaching our children to follow their passions has never been a good idea.
☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.
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Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.
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