Are you daydreaming about a vacation away from your child? Does being a parent feel difficult to you?
If you answered yes to this question, then you may be giving your child more attention than he needs.
According to parenting guru, John Rosemond, by the time a child is three-years-old, he should be able to entertain himself for an hour at a time.
“A three-year-old who has received too much adult attention will continue to demand high levels of it. ”
This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t play with your child, but your child needs to learn how to occupy himself too. His ability to entertain himself is tied in with his creativity, imagination, and intelligence.
What’s more, if you are planning on homeschooling, you will struggle if your child has not developed the ability to do things on his own.
Children need to learn how to become independent beings rather than grow dependent upon us to keep them occupied and tell them how to spend their time.
From the moment a child is born, he is designed to move towards greater and greater independence until he eventually grows up and becomes a responsible adult.
Yet, regardless of how well-intentioned we are, we can interfere with this process by giving our children too much attention.
“In trying to be both friend and parent, you will fail at both. ”
Throughout the day, you interact with your child often. You greet each other in the morning, do chores, eat meals together, run errands together, go to the park together - you do many things with your child.
But apart from these daily interactions, you child should be able to play alone. Thirty minutes of your undiluted attention in the morning and the evening is all he needs.
The world is his playmate.
Your child should be very busy learning how to engage with the world, explore his surroundings, develop his imagination, exercise his creativity, develop his brain and his sensory / motor skills.
Most of these things he can do on his own or with his siblings, given his environment is conducive towards exploration and free play.
Not to make you feel unimportant, but he really does not need you at his side 24 / 7!
You want to raise a resourceful, responsible, independent child. It’s fair to assume that, like myself, you don't want a 30-year-old child living at home because he isn't resourceful or motivated enough to make something out of his life.
Too many young adults are failing to launch, presumably because of the way they were raised.
While you can and should play with your child, you don’t want to assume the role of primary playmate to him. A child past the age of two is increasingly capable of figuring out what to do with himself.
You will be amazed by how inventive he will become!
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
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For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
