Most mothers, when they walk into their kitchen and find their iron skillet full of rust (because their son did not dry and oil it properly after use), might be annoyed. Homeschooling mothers, on the other hand, are usually delighted. The discovery becomes another learning opportunity, where the children pile into the kitchen and a discussion of what it is, how it got there, and how it can be prevented follows.
Read MoreIs Thanksgiving a Celebration of Massacre?→
/
When it comes to the holiday of "Thanks" giving, I hear people spouting rhetoric about how we are celebrating a massacre of innocent people; and I can't help but think we have fallen deeper into the rhetoric of divisiveness generated by political motives that are not in our best interest.
I have celebrated the holiday of "Thanks" giving my entire life, but I have never celebrated the killing of innocent people.
It was president Lincoln who declared Thanksgiving a national holiday, not to celebrate a massacre but to celebrate a day of gratitude.
“I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, …to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving...
And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him …,
they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union. ”
The divisive rhetoric today pitting this group against the other group is an age-old device going back to Julius Caesar's, "Divide and Conquer."
Division is the tactic. Conquer is the goal.
We have fallen into the trap where we point our fingers at one another, while our civil liberties are being eroded and our tax dollars are funding wars of brutality.
Yet, as the saying goes, there are two sides to every coin. Most of life does not take place in the zones of black and white.
Most of it takes place in the grey zone; the zone that's up for interpretation. And not one of us has absolute knowledge about everything.
“Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.”
History is rife with people overcoming one another in the most heinous of ways. "White" is only one of the many colors of men who have committed brutalities throughout history and who continue to commit them today.
As I write, I'm sitting at my desk on the soil where the Persians conquered the kingdoms of the Medes and Lydians.
I'm sitting at my desk on the soil where the Turks massacred the Greeks, Armenians, and the Kurds.
And I'm sitting at my desk on the continent where Pol Pot committed genocide against the people of Cambodia.
“We will be known forever by the tracks we leave.”
To the North of me, the Russians and the Ukrainians are fighting; to the south of me, the Arabs and the Israelis wage war against one another.
This is man's nature - no skin color has a monopoly on brutality. Nonsense!
All men share the same human nature; we are all made up of the same parts, including arrogance and greed. We also share qualities of mercy and generosity.
We are complex beings and life is full of complexities.
So instead of attacking the character of the "white" man on this day, spend it as President Lincoln intended it to be spent, by giving thanks to the Divine for all that we have.
No matter what difficulties befall us, as long as we are breathing we have something to be grateful for. And as long as we remember this, we'll raise kids who do the same.
Along with thanks to the Divine, let's celebrate the Native Americans and their beautiful legacy of wisdom on how to live with reverence and respect for all living things. It's a philosophy that we could all reflect on more.
“Honor the sacred. Honor the Earth, our Mother. Honor the Elders. Honor all with whom we share the Earth:-Four-leggeds, two-leggeds, winged ones, Swimmers, crawlers, plant and rock people. Walk in balance and beauty.”
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Thoughts on Gratitude to Brighten Your Day.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually, start with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
6 Ways Public Schools Cause More Harm Than Good→
/
Public school is toxic for a child’s heart and mind. When we understand the agenda behind it, we’ll do everything in our power to protect our kids, just like we do when we put medicine out of their reach.
Below is an excerpt from an essay by John Taylor Gatto which explains why public schools are such unhealthy places for our kids. It’s an essay no parent will want to miss.
The Short, Angry History of Compulsory Schooling
Theorists from Plato to Rousseau knew well, and explicitly taught, that if children could be kept childish beyond the natural term, if they could be cloistered in a society of children, if they could be stripped of responsibility, if their inner lives could be starved by removing the insights of historians, philosophers, economists, novelists, and religious figures, if the inevitability of suffering and death could be removed from daily consciousness and replaced with the trivializing emotions of greed, envy, jealousy, and fear then young people would grow older but they would never grow up.
In this way a great enduring problem of supervision would be decisively minimized, for who can argue against the truth that childish and childlike people are far easier to manage than accomplished critical thinkers.
With this thought in mind, you're ready to hear the six purposes of modern schooling I found in Dr. Inglis' book. The principles are his, just as he stated them nearly 100 years ago, some of the interpretive material is my own.
1st Function
The first function of schooling is adjustive. Schools are to establish fixed habits of reaction to authority.
Fixed habits.
Of course this precludes critical judgement completely. If you were to devise a reliable test of whether someone had achieved fixed habits of reaction to authority, notice that requiring obedience to stupid orders would measure this better than requiring obedience to sensible orders ever could.
You can't know whether someone is reflexively obedient until you can make them do foolish things.
2nd Function
Second is the diagnostic function. School is to determine each student's proper social role, logging evidence mathematically and anecdotally on cumulative records.
3rd Function
Third is the sorting function. Schools sort children by training individuals only so far as their likely destination in the social machine and not one step further. So much for making boys and girls their personal best.
4th Function
The fourth function is conformity. As much as possible, kids are to be made alike. As egalitarian as this sounds, its purpose is to assist market and government research, people who conform are predictable.
5th Function
The fifth function Inglis calls "the hygienic function”. It has nothing to do with bodily health. It concerns what Darwin, Galton, Inglis, and many important names from the past and present would call, "the health of the race."
Hygiene is a polite way of saying that school is expected to accelerate natural selection by tagging the unfit so clearly they will drop from the reproduction sweepstakes.
That's what all those little humiliations from first grade onward, and all the posted lists of ranked grades are really about. The unfit will either drop out from anger, despair, or because their likely mates will accept the school's judgement of their inferiority.
6th Function
And last is the propaedeutic function. A fancy Greek term meaning that a small fraction of kids will quietly be taught how to take over management of this continuing project, made guardians of a population deliberately dumbed down and rendered childish in order that government and economic life can be managed with a minimum of hassle.”
What Will You Do?
And there you have it, in a nutshell, so how will you educate your children?
There was a time when the government schooling agenda was obscure but that time has passed.
From the incompetency in key subjects to our severely low literacy rates, we have to face the truth.
Our tumbling literacy rates reflect the dumbed-down minds of our people.
If we want to raise children who are not dumbed-down, children who are not lacking in common decency, then we need to do something about it.
And that something is not school.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually, start with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
4 Reasons Your Kids Should Skip Trick-or-Treating→
/
I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.
Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.
But that was then when Halloween was a lot more innocent. Between the food waste and the front lawn horror shows, I now stand on the side of those who think we should skip trick-or- treating.
Here are 4 good reasons for you to ponder:
#1 Health & Mixed Messages
Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.
Here’s a shocking fact to put things in perspective: the average child consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!
Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.
Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table— wow.
One Dentist’s Strategy
I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate his intention, we have to consider the message gestures like these send our children.
We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.
How can turning our kids into candy peddlers be a solution?
#2 Manners & Strangers
We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.
As a mother reflecting on the idea of trick or treating, it strikes me as being a contradiction of everything we’ve taught our children thus far.
My Shameful Story
I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day of sitting in classrooms. At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with pangs of hunger, we had this bright idea.
It was Halloween which meant that we could quell our hunger pangs by trick-or-treating!
We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?"
She gave us some candy anyway.
We teach our children that it's not polite to ask for things, yet, once a year we permit it. We teach our kids not to speak to strangers, yet, once a year we permit it. We teach our kids NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet, once a year we permit it.
Of course, there are always exceptions to rules, but these are a lot of exceptions and all in one night.
#3 Corporate Horror Show
Halloween has become a creepy holiday. The decorations have become gothic and violent since the corporate world has recognized the money to be made on Halloween.
When we were little, we had innocent little costumes: princess and cowboy outfits. Sometimes we threw a sheet over our heads and went out as ghosts. There was nothing more than a pumpkin with a candle burning inside on the doorstep of each home.
Forty years later, my neighbor would put gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved to look like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, the scene looked so real that my kids used to get scared.
So did I!
And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror film. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.
Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.
#4 Waste & Starvation
I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.
For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste.
The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly. (2022 stats)
My god, that's a shameful waste of pumpkins.
What Can Kids Do Instead of Trick-or-Treating?
Have a costume party
Start a local fund and ask people to donate $5.00—instead of buying a pumpkin—and then use the money to donate food to a local charity.
Study the history of Halloween, the practice of Halloween, and the contradictions of Halloween, and ask your children to take a position for or against it. Then let them have a debate with the opposing party or write an age-appropriate essay arguing their side of the argument.
What You Should Not Do
Don’t take a stance of moral superiority if you decide to skip Halloween.
I had a friend whose children would stay home on Halloween. When the neighborhood kids knocked on their door, they would offer candy and then explain why they didn’t celebrate Halloween.
The unspoken was that the family was morally superior to those who knocked on their door. I’m pretty sure that no one accepted candy from said family without feeling “less than.”
Instead, use it as an opportunity to teach your children that everyone is entitled to their beliefs and to their opinions, just as you and your children are entitled to their own.
While we may not always agree with other people, we need to respect other people’s ways because each person is born with an inherent dignity that is worthy of respect.
What do you think? Let me know in the comment section.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually, start with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
Teach Your Daughter to Determine a Man's Worth by Reading the Classics→
/
Teach Your Daughter to Determine a Man's Worth by Reading the Classics
There are good men in the world, and there are bad men in the world where women are concerned. And yes, it is that black and white; at least it is in a classic novel.
The good men you will find between the covers of these books can love deeply, honor, cherish, and value a woman, while the bad men can not.
Read More4 Reasons Children Don't Like to Read→
/
Why do we place so much value on reading as a culture but fail to raise a country of readers?
Read More5 Ways to Encourage Your Child's Love of Learning→
/
A friend showed me a clip of her nine-month-old baby trying to imitate her mother's expressions. I looked into the baby's eyes as I watched the video and the intense alertness that I witnessed, the acute observation of each facial move in her mother's face, was fascinating.
The baby wanted to know how to make the same faces her mother was making, and she was trying to understand how to do this by conducting a scientific investigation.
It's the intense desire to know that all healthy children possess, yet what happens to their curiosity as they grow older? Why do so many children forsake that infinite sense of wonder that is so innate to each of us?
“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.”
One of the reasons this happens today is because too many children start school at young ages, and by the time they reach kindergarten, first grade, if they are lucky, the light within them begins to dim.
Consider this: if your child’s desire to explore and understand the world around him is constantly thwarted by a teacher’s dictates, he will begin to give up his investigative work, and his sense of curiosity will eventually wilt.
For example, if a child has a small shovel in his hand, but every time he tries to shovel something a teacher tells him to stop, he will eventually stop picking the shovel up.
When a child cannot follow the lead of his curiosity, or is not in an environment where he can exercise his desire to know, as children who are in daycare and preschools from early ages are, they begin to put their curiosity down.
If you have a child whose curiosity is waning, or whose curiosity you want to stimulate, here are five things you can do:
If you have to put your child into an outside program, look for a daycare or preschool that is play-based and ideally held in the outdoors, such as a Forest School. Make sure they are operated by people who understand what children need at these tender ages. If you aren't sure what the philosophy for the school is, ask them. Please do not be shy about these matters; after all, this is your child, and you want to make sure he is under the best care.
Immediately remove all screens from your child's life both inside and outside the home. Under no circumstances should you hand him your cell phone to quiet him because you are busy. Screens are a cause of a dimming curiosity; not only that but they will thwart your child's brain development.
Do not entertain your child! Let him entertain himself. It is not that you don't ever play with your child, but only that you do not become his full-time playmate. Allow him to follow the dictates of his curiosity and figure things out for himself. Children are little scientists; let him conduct his own experiments.
Be curious yourself. Take your child into the outdoors and explore with him. Let him walk barefoot on fallen leaves and dip his feet into spring water to awaken his senses. Bring his attention to the songs of birds and the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through them. Collect a bug or two and read about them when you get home. Notice a particular bird sound (my favorite is the red-winged blackbird!) and look the bird up in a reference book or on the internet when you get home. Try to imitate the bird's song with your child. Ask him questions to stimulate a conversation and discover the answers together, such as how birds fly and what foods they eat.
Lastly, if you can, don't put your child into any school programs until he is at least ten years old. Until then, teach him yourself because so many learning problems take root during those early years. The first few grades of elementary school are easy to teach when you know what you are doing.
Remember that the desire to know is our natural state, but we have this yearning socialized out of us in various ways, the least not being school. Our innate desire to know, however, is still there within us.
“An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”
If your child's desire for knowledge has dimmed, trust that you can help him awaken it; because reaching his full potential in life begins with the desire to know.
Don’t miss our free download, 10 True Facts About Homeschooled Kids That Will Surprise You.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually please begin with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
10 Ways to Reduce Your Homeschooling Stress →
/
Anyone who says homeschooling is easy is stretching the truth. I know, a lot of you are shouting out, "But I've heard you say it's easy many times!"
Read MoreWhat We Westerners Have Forgotten About Our Parents→
/
There are times, usually late at night, when the phone rings and you find yourself cursing Graham Bell’s invention. But it’s your father, so you pick the phone up anyway.
You know the light, bubbly ring in a person’s voice when something good has just come their way? That’s how my father sounded which, in his old and decaying body, was rare in those days.
After a few minutes of chit-chat, I found myself saying, “Dad, it’s late here, and I’ve had a really long day. Would you mind if I called you back tomorrow, and we can have a good talk then?”
“Honey, you get a good night’s sleep and call me tomorrow,” he replied.
And we both hung up.
THE MOMENT
There are some moments, however, that you can never take back, and this was one of them. Tomorrow would find my father with a tube down his throat from which he would never fully recover.
And seven weeks later he would be dead.
It was a hard lesson that I learned too late. When your father or mother calls and they miss you and want to talk, forget about everything else and talk to them like you would if it were God calling.
My father would never telephone me again.
A Shakespearean scholar well-versed in the trickery of the heart, he could spot an insincere person a mile away. And he understood my singular troubles in life like no other; my father was my wisest counsel and my strongest ally.
His loss was no small measure.
They put a tube down his throat which caused him to have a stroke.
No one mentioned that that was a possibility before they inserted it. I was always diligent about asking the pros and cons to any procedure or medication, but this time I wasn’t. I was on the other side of the country, and one of my siblings had to make some quick decisions. My father had been bleeding internally, and time was not on his side.
After they intubated him, he could no longer speak well, and he couldn’t hold a pen. My father was a writer, and he was almost finished with a book that represented the last 40 years of his life’s work.
“Let me die in peace,” became his unspoken words.
THE JOURNEY
I flew cross country and stayed by his side for seven long and agonizing weeks. I wanted them to end, but I never wanted them to end. One day I went out to run an errand, and he died.
Just like that.
Everyone knew his departure was due any moment except for me. Did anyone realize that I couldn’t see the obvious? His soul was about to betray his body. How I missed something so clear and so final, I will never understand.
I was stunned as I listened to the roaring from an ocean of grief flooding the hallways.
My ocean.
I can still vividly recall the look of the newborn babe in his eyes as I said goodbye to him for the last time that late afternoon in spring.
This irrational thought kept creeping into my mind, “How could he leave without saying goodbye?” But for seven weeks he had been saying goodbye.
There are moments now when I’ll be standing at my kitchen sink washing dishes, and I’ll look out my window and imagine my father walking through the courtyard and up to my front door.
And then I remember that he’ll never reach that door again.
THE FINALITY
The greatest irony in life is our inability to fully appreciate something until we’ve lost it. Our health we take for granted until we’re faced with the possibility of disease, our youth we squander on foolish pursuits, and our parents we forsake for the busyness of our lives.
In the West, we fail to comprehend the depth of the parent/child bond. They still understand it in the East, but in the West we have lost that most precious knowledge.
There’s something sacred about a parent. A parent’s love is unconditional, and unconditional love is divine in nature. Historically children have always been taught to honor their parents, but in the West, to our own demise, we neither teach nor expect this of our children anymore.
I was familiar with the Eastern teaching and had tried to model it. I thought I had succeeded. But when my father died, I realized that I hadn’t really understood the magnitude of our bond. But I understood it then, and then was too late.
Modern science can’t prove what I’m about to say, but I know it’s true. You see, the natural bond between a parent and child is a divine bond, and it’s unbreakable because love comes from God. If not, then from where does it come?
THE REALITY
What I want to say to you is this: in the hearts of our parents, He has added a bit of His own, and a bit of our own, so honor your parents well while they are here.
Because then will be too late.
Download the free in-field report: 6 Reasons Why Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling the "whole" child for brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top-20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.
Too many homeschooled kids are not reaching their full potential because parents are struggling with how to raise and educate a "whole" child—a child who is well-developed physically, emotionally, socially, and intellectually—so that their children receive a first-rate education and are well prepared to blossom and succeed in their life's journey.
The Smart Homeschooler Academy, with Liz as your guide, is the answer.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
Teach Your Children the Critical Habit of Discipline!→
/
Discipline is a habit that you want to help your child develop, because it will make a critical difference in his life. Without it, he will struggle to reach his potential, and he will struggle to reach his goals.
It's an interesting word, discipline. It comes from a Latin word, "disciplīna," which, according to Cassell's Latin Dictionary means "instruction, teaching…in a wider sense, training, education…the result of training, discipline, ordered way of life."
When we speak about correcting a child's behavior, we use the word "discipline," not necessarily as a punishment, but the idea is to train the child in the habit of doing the right thing, so he grows up to embody good character.
“I say that habits long practice, friend,
And this becomes men’s nature in the end.”
Which is one of the problems in the way we approach raising children today. We misunderstand the ultimate purpose of discipline and view it as a punishment more than a training in the way of good character.
Hence, the idea of using discipline to punish a child’s misbehavior has become a faulty premise from which some modern parenting theories have evolved.
As we witness the increase in mental health challenges, which now effect 87% of our children, we have to begin to question the ways in which we are raising children today.
When it comes to raising our children to reach their potential intellectually, physically, morally, and emotionally, as well as acquire personal and professional success, discipline is what’s called for.
We discipline the child, so the child learns how to develop the habits he needs to embody good character and to reach greater heights in life; and one of those habits is the habit of self-discipline.
“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”
Most well-accomplished people exercise much self-discipline in their lives. Whether it be a writer who improves his skill by writing every day, a pianist who becomes great through much practice, or an athlete who is at his sports training daily; these people will have acquired the habit of self-discipline.
There are many areas in our lives that are directly affected by the level of discipline we exercise in our lives; areas that will be critical to your child's personal and professional success.
PHYSICAL HEALTH
In maintaining physical health, it's important to exercise discipline in eating well and getting regular exercise. It takes will power to pass up dessert every night, and it takes effort to get into the habit of daily exercise
However, without the self-discipline around diet and exercise, it’s easy to become an overweight adult who develops health problems at earlier ages than one would expect.
Also, exercise helps improve one’s mental well-being, which is a significant component to exercise given the increase in mental issues now.
BECOMING GOOD AT ANYTHING
In developing any skill to a higher level we need to practice, and daily practice takes discipline. If your child learns to play a musical instrument, speak a foreign language or become a good athlete, for example, he will have to practice at least five or six days a week.
Daily practice is how we attain levels of mastery and excellence. And having self-discipline means that we practice whether we want to or not.
It's easy when we want to do something, but it's doing it when we don't want to that will make the difference. Those that learn to keep at it are the ones who attain a higher level of skill; the rest become dabblers.
INTELLECTUAL PURSUITS
A well-trained mind is predicated upon strong language skills, especially the ability to read well. Your child will need to develop a daily habit of reading, so that he can become a skilled reader.
Most intellectual pursuits will involve reading, so if he hasn’t developed a love of reading, it may hinder his intellectual pursuits. As he gets older, and the literature requires more of an effort to read, self-discipline will get him through any difficult book.
Even the ability to think independently requires the skill of reading. Without being able to read what others write ourselves, we can never evaluate a situation, an idea, or an event using our own minds.
We will have to rely upon third-party sources to tell us what to think. We want to raise independent thinkers, not followers of the latest popular opinion or belief.
CHARACTER MATTERS MOST
Habits are the result of the choices we make in life. Aristotle said that the sum total of our habits determines the quality of our character. If we want to raise children of good character, we have to inculcate the quality of discipline in them, because they need discipline to act in the right way and at the right time.
Do we choose to have self-control around food or not? Do we choose to exercise or not? Do we choose to read or not?
To choose to eat well, to choose to exercise daily, to choose to read when we would rather watch a film requires discipline!
“Through discipline comes freedom.”
As you can see, self-discipline is one of those qualities that if your child does not develop it, he will be at a disadvantage in his life. Discipline is at the core of everything we do well, which is why its opposite, sloth, is one of the seven deadly sins according to the Catholics.
Whether you believe in God or not, the lack of discipline will always be deadly to any goal we set, because we can't get there without it.
And, neither can your child. So help your child develop the habit of acting with discipline, because he'll go much further in his life with it than he will without.
Download the free in-field report: 6 Reasons Why Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling the "whole" child for brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top-20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.
Too many homeschooled kids are not reaching their full potential because parents are struggling with how to raise and educate a "whole" child—a child who is well-developed physically, emotionally, socially, and intellectually—so that their children receive a first-rate education and are well prepared to blossom and succeed in their life's journey.
The Smart Homeschooler Academy, with Liz as your guide, is the answer.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
Is Homeschooling Easier than Helping with Homework? →
/
Let's face it, with all the time parents spend helping their kids do homework, they may as well be homeschooling.
Read MoreWhat Life Lessons Are You teaching Your Children? →
/
We don't stop often enough to reflect upon the messages we send our children through our words and actions—even the expressions on our face.
Read MoreWhy an Ivy League College May Not Be a Good Choice→
/
Deresiewicz's book "Excellent Sheep" is an insider's scathing critique of the Ivy League system. Full of surprises, it'll make you think twice about the value of an Ivy League education.
Read MoreFour Strategies to Raise a "Whole" Child→
/
We all try to do what's best for our kids but, in doing so, are we considering their total well-being? Are we making decisions based on sound strategies or just because something sounds good and everyone seems to be doing it?
Read MoreThe Events Which Took Place on My First Day of Homeschooling Two Little Boys→
/
Upon entering the room, on my very first day, I discovered that the study table and the four bright orange chairs surrounding it were much too small for me. Looking at the boys, I asked, more from amusement than anything else, "Boys, do you think I'm going to fit into these chairs and isn't this table too small for me?"
Read MoreWhy Rote Memorization is Essential to a Good Education→
/
A common practice of students since time immemorial, rote learning has received an undeservedly bad rap in the postmodern world.
Read MoreCan You Homeschool Without Feeling Overwhelmed?→
/
Being a mother today, with limited or no family support, is a challenge. On our best days we can feel a little like we are going nuts. And then we throw in the idea of homeschooling, at least some of us do, and then we panic for surely we will go nuts! But, it isn't actually like that and somehow most of us manage to keep ourselves relatively sane.
Read MoreHere’s One State Which Ordered the Moms to Teach Their Kids!→
/
Here's another gem from the book: "Immigrants who were educated in Europe often became private schoolmasters, advertising in the newspapers that they would teach algebra, geometry, trigonometry, surveying, navigation, french, Latin, Greek, rhetoric, English, belles lettres, logic, philosophy, and other subjects. Wow! Does anyone even know anyone who knows all of this today? If we do, they are usually not found teaching children!
Read MoreAre There Times When a Child Should Not Read a Book?→
/
As an activist for helping parents raise good readers, you may be surprised to hear me say that there are times when it is wrong for a child to read a book.
You see, there is an etiquette to reading just like there is an etiquette to everything in life: there’s a time to read and a time not to read.
Fortunately, unlike table manners, there are only two reading rules your child needs to learn.
THE RULES
Rule #1.
Books should never come to the dinner table or any other table where food is present. When you eat, you eat; when you read, you read.
It is uncivil to read a book at the dinner table. Meal times are a time for pleasant conversations and showing an interest in what others have to say, which is virtually impossible to do while reading.
Out of respect for books, children (nor adults) should ever eat while reading. You don't want to soil the books with food. It’s also a bad habit to eat while reading because it can lead to unwanted weight gain.
Rule #2.
Children should not read at social gatherings.
I’ve seen children plop themselves and their books in a central position to the other guests as if to holler, "Look, I have something better to do than talk to all of you!"
The accomplishment of raising a good reader, which a parent does deserves to feel proud of, should never justify a display of antisocial behavior from a child.
I’m sure I’m not the only adult who’s had conversations with kids that go something like this:
"Hi, sweety, how are you?"
Child looks up uninterestedly.
“Fine."
Child’s head goes back into book.
"What are you reading?"
"A book."
While it's fabulous, marvelous and awesome that he is reading, his manners leave a lot to be desired.
This sort of behavior is a red flag that the parents are failing to teach their child right from wrong in matters of lasting significance.
“I am always saying “Glad to’ve met you” to somebody I’m not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.”
Reading a book should never take precedence over socializing with a guest.
It's not that a child should leave his books at home when he goes out. He can take a book on an airplane, for a long drive, or to the doctor's office. But when it comes to socializing, he should put the book down and practice his social skills.
“Politeness [is] a sign of dignity, not subservience.”
WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?
Engaging in social activities can be uncomfortable and awkward for young children, especially if they're shy. Hiding their face in a book is one way to avoid the awkwardness.
But it's not the right way.
The right thing to do and the thing most beneficial for your child is to let him face his shyness by engaging in conversation with others. Children do not develop good social skills in a vacuum, they learn them by socializing. In other words, through practice.
As Daniel Goleman demonstrates in his ground-breaking book, Emotional Intelligence, good social skills–which are predicated upon good manners–are the basis for just about everything in life that will make a person happy: a successful marriage, good relationships with one's children, long-term friendships, and a successful career.
And Goleman's research proves that there are even times when a child should not read a book!
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.
As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
4 Strategies to Raise Children of Good Character →
/
Societal influences can make it easy or difficult to raise a child who is well-mannered, respectful, and resourceful.
In today’s social climate, we face many parenting challenges, but there are strategies you can implement to ensure a better outcome for your family.
When our children are young, we want to train them to do the right thing, so they develop the right habits in childhood and learn to make the right choices.
“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”
It begins with little things such as learning to pick up after themselves, doing chores before they play, and learning to be considerate of other people's needs.
Role Models
Good role models in a child’s life are essential. If the parents treat each other courteously, are respectful towards family and friends, and honest and helpful with others, the children are more likely to follow suit.
Discipline
As no child is born a civilized human being, there is also a training through discipline that has to occur, too. In fact, raising our children to become civilized human beings is the essence of our work.
Good parents can produce bad children; there are no guarantees that children turn out well.
Discipline is key to developing the qualities that make up good character, as it takes discipline to do what is demanded of us!
Think of how much discipline it takes to pass up a piece of chocolate cake, to put away the screens, to go the gym.
Discipline is a key trait that most of us never develop. It is what sets the above-average, who reach great heights in their endeavors, from those who never will.
Public School
Public school can undo your hard work, though, because rudeness and crudeness are now the norms. Children sent to school for eight hours a day where the teachers are not allowed to discipline them, are at a disadvantage.
However children who spend their days in a homeschooled environment are with adults who are able to put the time and effort into guiding the kids in the right ways.
At home, we do have authority over our children and can discipline them as needed. The right training in childhood is essential to raising a well-mannered, happy child.
Spare the rod, spoil the child, was an old adage that adults used to repeat before the 60's cultural revolution when sound parenting principles were abandoned for unproven theories.
Multi Media
Another disadvantage to raising children today is the decline in quality films and the introduction of screen activities.
The films are vulgar, the music is ribald, childhood games are on screens, and texting replaces real conversation.
On top of that, social media alone is causing a distortion of the way children see themselves and the world, leading to a host of mental health issues.
Negative influences will unravel any good work you've done to raise your children well, which is why we need to be diligent with the environments that influence our children.
The aforementioned should be a strict NO for every concerned!
The Ancient Greeks knew that bad influences in a child's life would affect their characters. It is really just a matter of common sense, something the Ancient Greeks had plenty of.
We’ve buried our head’s in the sand, though, because we believe we can put our children into these environments and all will be fine.
Our children are telling us a different story, and it’s time we start listening to them.
We have a generation of children, raised on technology, who are becoming active in the movement to protect children from the ill-effects of technology, because they can see the damage it has caused to their generation.
A Dishonest Trend
Dishonesty is a serious character defect, but it is common now. Ninety-seven percent of schoolchildren are dishonest according to statistics gathered by Vickie Abeles, who produced the documentary, Race to Nowhere.
Even without the statistics, we know from experience that we are no longer an honest society. Each of us deals with it every single day.
During the Covid days, my son took a statistics exam online, only to receive an email from the teacher announcing that some of the students had cheated on the exam.
I was told the exam was easy, too. College students cheating on an easy exam?
“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”
Cheating is a habit for many children today.
When cheating on exams is pardoned with no serious repercussions, we are tolerating dishonesty and teaching our kids that it is no big deal.
But it is a big deal. Bad character is a big deal because these people cause harm to others, and they cause harm to themselves.
For sure, they don’t sleep well at night.
These students have learned to become dishonest people, because they are raised in a system that doesn't uphold the values of truth, goodness, and beauty.
It’s difficult to believe now that such values were once so honored in the West, but it is true.
In a Nutshell
Protect your children from the negative influences in society for as long as you can. Raise them in a bubble! Allow them the time to develop in healthy ways; physically, morally, and intellectually, because the bubble will burst.
When it does, you want to feel confident that you did your job well, by giving your children the right kind of start in life.
The rest is up to them.
Don’t miss our free download, 7 Steps to Protect Your Child's Mind and Heart from Negative Influences.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.
As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
