Teach Your Children the Critical Habit of Discipline!→

Discipline is a habit that you want to help your child develop, because it will make a critical difference in his life. Without it, he will struggle to reach his potential, and he will struggle to reach his goals. 

It's an interesting word, discipline. It comes from a Latin word, "disciplīna," which, according to Cassell's Latin Dictionary means "instruction, teaching…in a wider sense, training, education…the result of training, discipline, ordered way of life." 

When we speak about correcting a child's behavior, we use the word "discipline," not necessarily as a punishment, but the idea is to train the child in the habit of doing the right thing, so he grows up to embody good character. 

“I say that habits long practice, friend,
And this becomes men’s nature in the end.”

— Evanus, Ancient Greek Philosopher and Poet

Which is one of the problems in the way we approach raising children today. We misunderstand the ultimate purpose of discipline and view it as a punishment more than a training in the way of good character.

Hence, the idea of using discipline to punish a child’s misbehavior has become a faulty premise from which some modern parenting theories have evolved. 

As we witness the increase in mental health challenges, which now effect 87% of our children, we have to begin to question the ways in which we are raising children today.

When it comes to raising our children to reach their potential intellectually, physically, morally, and emotionally, as well as acquire personal and professional success, discipline is what’s called for.

We discipline the child, so the child learns how to develop the habits he needs to embody good character and to reach greater heights in life; and one of those habits is the habit of self-discipline.

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”

— Epictetus

Most well-accomplished people exercise much self-discipline in their lives. Whether it be a writer who improves his skill by writing every day, a pianist who becomes great through much practice, or an athlete who is at his sports training daily; these people will have acquired the habit of self-discipline. 

There are many areas in our lives that are directly affected by the level of discipline we exercise in our lives;  areas that will be critical to your child's personal and professional success. 

PHYSICAL HEALTH

In maintaining physical health, it's important to exercise discipline in eating well and getting regular exercise. It takes will power to pass up dessert every night, and it takes effort to get into the habit of daily exercise

However, without the self-discipline around diet and exercise, it’s easy to become an overweight adult who develops health problems at earlier ages than one would expect.

Also, exercise helps improve one’s mental well-being, which is a significant component to exercise given the increase in mental issues now.

BECOMING GOOD AT ANYTHING

In developing any skill to a higher level we need to practice, and daily practice takes discipline. If your child learns to play a musical instrument, speak a foreign language or become a good athlete, for example, he will have to practice at least five or six days a week.

Daily practice is how we attain levels of mastery and excellence. And having self-discipline means that we practice whether we want to or not.

It's easy when we want to do something, but it's doing it when we don't want to that will make the difference. Those that learn to keep at it are the ones who attain a higher level of skill; the rest become dabblers.

INTELLECTUAL PURSUITS

A well-trained mind is predicated upon strong language skills, especially the ability to read well. Your child will need to develop a daily habit of reading, so that he can become a skilled reader. 

Most intellectual pursuits will involve reading, so if he hasn’t developed a love of reading, it may hinder his intellectual pursuits. As he gets older, and the literature requires more of an effort to read, self-discipline will get him through any difficult book.

Even the ability to think independently requires the skill of reading. Without being able to read what others write ourselves, we can never evaluate a situation, an idea, or an event using our own minds.

We will have to rely upon third-party sources to tell us what to think. We want to raise independent thinkers, not followers of the latest popular opinion or belief.

CHARACTER MATTERS MOST

Habits are the result of the choices we make in life. Aristotle said that the sum total of our habits determines the quality of our character. If we want to raise children of good character, we have to inculcate the quality of discipline in them, because they need discipline to act in the right way and at the right time.

Do we choose to have self-control around food or not? Do we choose to exercise or not? Do we choose to read or not?

To choose to eat well, to choose to exercise daily, to choose to read when we would rather watch a film requires discipline!

“Through discipline comes freedom.”

— Aristotle

As you can see, self-discipline is one of those qualities that if your child does not develop it, he will be at a disadvantage in his life. Discipline is at the core of everything we do well, which is why its opposite, sloth, is one of the seven deadly sins according to the Catholics. 

Whether you believe in God or not, the lack of discipline will always be deadly to any goal we set, because we can't get there without it. 

And, neither can your child. So help your child develop the habit of acting with discipline, because he'll go much further in his life with it than he will without.

Download the free in-field report: 6 Reasons Why Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you in the stops to training your children’s minds and nurturing their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Are There Times When a Child Should Not Read a Book?→

As an activist for helping parents raise good readers, you may be surprised to hear me say that there are times when it is wrong for a child to read a book.

You see, there is an etiquette to reading just like there is an etiquette to everything in life: there’s a time to read and a time not to read.

Fortunately, unlike table manners, there are only two reading rules your child needs to learn.

THE RULES

Rule #1.

Books should never come to the dinner table or any other table where food is present. When you eat, you eat; when you read, you read.

It is uncivil to read a book at the dinner table. Meal times are a time for pleasant conversations and showing an interest in what others have to say, which is virtually impossible to do while reading.

Out of respect for books, children (nor adults) should ever eat while reading. You don't want to soil the books with food. It’s also a bad habit to eat while reading because it can lead to unwanted weight gain.

Rule #2.

Children should not read at social gatherings.  

I’ve seen children plop themselves and their books in a central position to the other guests as if to holler, "Look, I have something better to do than talk to all of you!"

The accomplishment of raising a good reader, which a parent does deserves to feel proud of, should never justify a display of antisocial behavior from a child.

I’m sure I’m not the only adult who’s had conversations with kids that go something like this:

"Hi, sweety, how are you?"

Child looks up uninterestedly.

“Fine."

Child’s head goes back into book.

"What are you reading?"

"A book."

While it's fabulous, marvelous and awesome that he is reading, his manners leave a lot to be desired.

This sort of behavior is a red flag that the parents are failing to teach their child right from wrong in matters of lasting significance.

“I am always saying “Glad to’ve met you” to somebody I’m not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.”

— J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

Reading a book should never take precedence over socializing with a guest.

It's not that a child should leave his books at home when he goes out. He can take a book on an airplane, for a long drive, or to the doctor's office. But when it comes to socializing, he should put the book down and practice his social skills.

“Politeness [is] a sign of dignity, not subservience.”

— Theodore Roosevelt

WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?

Engaging in social activities can be uncomfortable and awkward for young children, especially if they're shy. Hiding their face in a book is one way to avoid the awkwardness.

But it's not the right way.

The right thing to do and the thing most beneficial for your child is to let him face his shyness by engaging in conversation with others. Children do not develop good social skills in a vacuum, they learn them by socializing. In other words, through practice.

As Daniel Goleman demonstrates in his ground-breaking book, Emotional Intelligence, good social skills–which are predicated upon good manners–are the basis for just about everything in life that will make a person happy: a successful marriage, good relationships with one's children, long-term friendships, and a successful career.

And Goleman's research proves that there are even times when a child should not read a book!

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

4 Strategies to Raise Children of Good Character →

Societal influences can make it easy or difficult to raise a child who is well-mannered, respectful, and resourceful.

In today’s social climate, we face many parenting challenges, but there are strategies you can implement to ensure a better outcome for your family.

When our children are young, we want to train them to do the right thing, so they develop the right habits in childhood and learn to make the right choices.

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

— Mark Twain

It begins with little things such as learning to pick up after themselves, doing chores before they play, and learning to be considerate of other people's needs.

Role Models

Good role models in a child’s life are essential. If the parents treat each other courteously, are respectful towards family and friends, and honest and helpful with others, the children are more likely to follow suit.

Discipline

As no child is born a civilized human being, there is also a training through discipline that has to occur, too. In fact, raising our children to become civilized human beings is the essence of our work.

Good parents can produce bad children; there are no guarantees that children turn out well.

Discipline is key to developing the qualities that make up good character, as it takes discipline to do what is demanded of us!

Think of how much discipline it takes to pass up a piece of chocolate cake, to put away the screens, to go the gym.

Discipline is a key trait that most of us never develop. It is what sets the above-average, who reach great heights in their endeavors, from those who never will.

Public School

Public school can undo your hard work, though, because rudeness and crudeness are now the norms. Children sent to school for eight hours a day where the teachers are not allowed to discipline them, are at a disadvantage.

However children who spend their days in a homeschooled environment are with adults who are able to put the time and effort into guiding the kids in the right ways.

At home, we do have authority over our children and can discipline them as needed. The right training in childhood is essential to raising a well-mannered, happy child.

Spare the rod, spoil the child, was an old adage that adults used to repeat before the 60's cultural revolution when sound parenting principles were abandoned for unproven theories.

Multi Media

Another disadvantage to raising children today is the decline in quality films and the introduction of screen activities.

The films are vulgar, the music is ribald, childhood games are on screens, and texting replaces real conversation.

On top of that, social media alone is causing a distortion of the way children see themselves and the world, leading to a host of mental health issues.

Negative influences will unravel any good work you've done to raise your children well, which is why we need to be diligent with the environments that influence our children.

The aforementioned should be a strict NO for every concerned!

The Ancient Greeks knew that bad influences in a child's life would affect their characters. It is really just a matter of common sense, something the Ancient Greeks had plenty of.

We’ve buried our head’s in the sand, though, because we believe we can put our children into these environments and all will be fine.

Our children are telling us a different story, and it’s time we start listening to them.

We have a generation of children, raised on technology, who are becoming active in the movement to protect children from the ill-effects of technology, because they can see the damage it has caused to their generation.

A Dishonest Trend

Dishonesty is a serious character defect, but it is common now. Ninety-seven percent of schoolchildren are dishonest according to statistics gathered by Vickie Abeles, who produced the documentary, Race to Nowhere.

Even without the statistics, we know from experience that we are no longer an honest society. Each of us deals with it every single day.

During the Covid days, my son took a statistics exam online, only to receive an email from the teacher announcing that some of the students had cheated on the exam.

I was told the exam was easy, too. College students cheating on an easy exam?

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

Cheating is a habit for many children today.

When cheating on exams is pardoned with no serious repercussions, we are tolerating dishonesty and teaching our kids that it is no big deal.

But it is a big deal. Bad character is a big deal because these people cause harm to others, and they cause harm to themselves.

For sure, they don’t sleep well at night.

These students have learned to become dishonest people, because they are raised in a system that doesn't uphold the values of truth, goodness, and beauty.

It’s difficult to believe now that such values were once so honored in the West, but it is true.

In a Nutshell

Protect your children from the negative influences in society for as long as you can. Raise them in a bubble! Allow them the time to develop in healthy ways; physically, morally, and intellectually, because the bubble will burst.

When it does, you want to feel confident that you did your job well, by giving your children the right kind of start in life.

The rest is up to them.

Don’t miss our free download, 7 Steps to Protect Your Child's Mind and Heart from Negative Influences.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Are We to Blame for the ADHD Epidemic in Our Children?→

Actually, there is no epidemic of ADHD. It is a phantom disorder with no basis in science according to John Rosemond and Bose Ravenel's eye-opening book, The Diseasing of America's Children. 

Their argument is sound.

The real epidemic is an epidemic of the inability to stay focused because we live in the Age of Distraction. A school-age child's  inability to focus is not a medical disorder; it is the result of a skill he has never developed; the skill of paying attention and staying focused.

Normal, healthy children raised in wholesome ways don't suffer from the inability to focus. Prior to the 1970s when children ran free, learning and behavioral disorders in school were almost unheard of. 

To be precise, only about 1 - 3% of the population in the USA were afflicted with a true disorder. To put this in perspective, during my 1960 / 70s school years, I never had a classmate who was diagnosed with a learning or behavioral disorder.

If a child was amongst the 1 - 3% afflicted with a medical disorder, the disorder was usually too extreme to enter school in the first place. 

So now what? If there is no epidemic of ADHD, and if the real problem is that normal, healthy children are not learning how to focus, what can we do to correct this tragic situation?

It is tragic, too,  because learning to pay attention is no small matter. Any skill we develop or any subject we study is predicated upon our ability to stay focused.

Therefore, a child who learns to focus well will learn more; a child who learns more will become smarter. 

No rocket science here; it's just common sense. The tragedy is that our children are not learning to focus, they are not being well-educated, and, quite frankly, our sinking literacy rates indicate that our kids are not growing up to be as intelligent as they could be either. 

First, let's qualify what we mean by "children." It would make sense that the ability to focus for longer periods would run parallel with the development of the long term memory, which begins around the third year of life.

In order to remember something, we have to stay focused on it long enough to remember it. 

The idea of expecting a child under the age of three to sustain his focus is preposterous; I’m sure no one is doing this! But as the child matures, his ability to focus should increase as well. 

If it is not increasing, it is most likely because the child's environment is not conducive towards learning how to pay attention and stay focused. 

Children develop these skills through the practice of doing them. The question we should be asking is not why so many of our children have ADHD,  but how we can create environments for our children that are conducive towards developing the skill of paying attention and staying focused. 

If we are not providing this kind of an environment for our children, then, yes,  the fault lies with us.

4 WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN FROM THE PHANTOM ADHD EPIDEMIC

1. Expect your children to listen to you without interruption.  Much of the problem we are dealing with is that children are confused about who is in charge, thanks to all of the proven-not-to-work parenting theories that have been thrust on us since the 1950s.

   Our job is to raise civilized human beings. Civilized human beings in little bodies learn how to focus, because they have parents who train them to listen when they speak, do their chores when they are told to, and generally behave in well-mannered ways.

2. Create an environment for your children to move around and explore and be independent. Young children have an insatiable curiosity, and this curiosity will lead them to an infinite number of things they will want to pay attention to, all of which will help develop their ability to focus.

    This presupposes your children are not in a preschool, not sitting in front of a television, and not playing with your smart phone.

3. Keep quality literature in every room in your house for your older children to read. Read stories to all of your children and raise them to read quality books for fun. Reading requires focus. Reading, or listening to someone else read, will strengthen the focus muscle. 

4. Keep your children away from screens! Keep your children away from screens! I'm sorry to tell you this, but there is no way around it.  If you want to raise smarter, happier, well-mannered children, you will need to keep them off of screens. The idea that you can limit their screen time when they are young is rubbish. 

If I'm the only one who is telling you this, it is because I have done my research, I am willing to go against the grain to say what is true, even when it is unpopular, and because I have no financial interest in saying the opposite.

The research tells us to keep screens out of our children’s lives.

It's like putting a child who can't swim into the deep end of a pool, and telling him he can have five minutes in the water. A screen-fed child will drown his mind in a dumbed-down world of distraction and action-packed entertainment.

How will such a child ever learn how to think for himself? 

Think of it this way: when your children are zoning out in front of a screen, they are not reading, socializing, or playing. And they are certainly not doing their chores!

When your children get older and develop a reading habit, consider introducing a movie on the weekends.

Until then, screens will only be an obstacle to engaging in activities that will help your children develop physically, emotionally, and neurologically, all of which will help to strengthen their ability to focus and pay attention. 

Don’t miss our free download, 31 Screen-Free Activities to Support Your Child’s Developing Brain.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

A Foolproof Tip for Raising More Appreciative Children→

"No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough!" is a typical complaint from your average 21st-century parent.

While parents are understandably frustrated, they're little ones are growing up to become entitled adults.

Common strategies employed to battle the empidemic of ingratitude are not working either. The Sermon is a perfect example of a strategy that has failed our children.

THE SERMON

We lecture our kids to be grateful for what they have, and our lectures fall on deaf ears. They have no idea what we are talking about. For the most part, they always had what they need and gotten what they wanted.

And even if they did register what we said, poor character traits are not conquered by lecturing.

Better not to let the trait develop in the first place!

“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”

— Marcus Aurelius

THE SECRET

The secret, therefore, to teaching your children to appreciate the things you provide for them is to raise them to be minimalists. The less they have, the more appreciative they'll be when you give them more.

The less you indulge them with their wants, the less they'll come to expect them. When you do give your children a want, they'll be grateful, and they won't forget to say thank you.

The words of true gratitude will come roaring out of them, no prodding needed.

A minimalist philosophy isn't restricted to material goods either. You can apply it to all aspects of your children’s lives by saying “no” to them more than you say “yes.”

John Rosemond calls it Vitamin N. It's not that you want to become a contrarian and rigidly oppose everything your children ask for, but raise them to understand that their wants are not your primary concern.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Provide your children with the things they need for emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual growth, but raise them to understand that the goal of your life is not to indulge them but to raise them well.

This isn't to say that you should never accommodate their wants, but don't make it a habit to give your children too much of what they ask for because children can ask for a lot.

What is the rule of when to give and when to give not?

It’s simple: say no 75% of the time and say yes 25% of the time. If you practice this ratio of yes’s to no’s, you’ll see the gratitude scale climb steadily in your home.

A golden parenting rule to remember is that you aren't responsible for making your children happy; that’s up to them to figure out.

And they’ll discover the secret to happiness much faster when you indulge them less.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

11 Ways to Convince your Spouse to Homeschool (even if you think he'll never agree!)→

If your husband or wife’s mind is already set against homeschooling, you have to approach the situation very gingerly. It’s not wise to push our views on someone, least of all a spouse.  

“It is time that we squarely face the fact that institutional schoolteaching is destructive to children.”

— John Taylor Gatto

Usually when a spouse doesn’t agree with homeschooling, it’s because he doesn’t understand what John Taylor Gatto refers to as "the dangers of public school."

The Conversation

But you can start the conversation by asking your spouse a question, such as, "What are your hopes and goals for our children’s education?"

You have now opened the channels for him to let you know his hopes and goals in a non-threatening way. As he shares these with you, listen for his concerns too.

Once you’ve got a friendly discussion going, approach the subject of homeschooling.

If you were to consider homeschooling, would he have any objections or concerns? If so, what would those be?

The Objections

The typical objections to homeschooling are the following:

• The children will be academically behind and fail to get into a reputable college.

• Homeschooled kids lack good social skills.

• Homeschooled children don’t have any friends.

• You aren’t qualified to homeschool unless you’re an accredited teacher.

• You aren’t qualified to homeschool unless you have a college degree.

Maybe your husband doesn't know any homeschoolers and the idea sounds too fantastic to him?

Keep in mind that your spouse wants what is best for his children just as much as you do.

The Persuasion

Whatever his objections are, you want to take note and ask him if he would be open to watching some videos on the subject, looking at some research, or even reading some books together.

If you keep the conversation neutral and show a genuine interest in his views and concerns, most reasonable husbands will oblige their wives. 

Now, here comes the tricky part: you will need to provide him with information that is sound and relevant.

No need to panic though because we have you covered. You can download our free resource list to convince anyone about the merits of homeschooling.

The list will provide you with 11 resources to educate your husband (or anyone) about the many problems with public school and why homeschooling is the best option today. 

This resource is also helpful if you have family members or friends who are strongly opposed to homeschooling.

Grab your free download here: 11 Resources to Convince Anyone to Homeschool.

Once someone truly understands what is fundamentally wrong with public school, it is near impossible to put a child into it unless the person has no other choice.

Some Cautionary Advice

Be careful about taking the attitude of proving your spouse wrong. No one likes to be proven wrong, and trying to show your spouse that you were right will not help your cause. 

Instead, you want to humble yourself and be gentle in the way you handle the situation.

Go slowly.

When someone has a fixed opinion, it’s prudent to allow time for that person to shift into a new mindset.

Start early by educating your spouse when your children are young.

By the time they are ready to go to school, hopefully, you'll both be excited about homeschooling! 

“School is a twelve-year jail sentence where bad habits are the only curriculum truly learned. I teach school and win awards doing it. I should know.”

— John Taylor Gatto

Upcoming FREE Live Masterclass! Discover 3 Homeschooling Mistakes No One Tells You About! with Liz Hanson

Free Download: 11 Resources to Convince Anyone to Homeschool.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Don't Teach Your Children About Diversity!→

One of the beauties of homeschooling is that we can protect our children from political agendas that don't serve mankind, and the diversity issue may be one of them.

It mirrors the old military strategy of Julius Caesar's, "divide and conquer."

And Julius Caesar was no dummy.

So why is diversity the wrong conversation to have with your children? The best illustration for arguing against a topic which has divided so many of us is the example of my mother. 

My mother was different from the social-justice warriors you hear about today. An original warrior, she never preached to anyone, she wasn't spouting angry rhetoric about perceived wrongs, she never felt better than you or me because of the services she did; she just helped where she saw that people needed help.

When I was a young child, my mother was very active in the Civil Rights Movement, a violent and bloody time in America. Despite the dangers, she relentlessly marched with the oppressed in their struggle for equality, more worried about their safety than she was her own.

The World Encyclopedia even included a picture of her and my sister Kathleen, who had both flown across the country to demonstrate with hundreds of other people in the historic march on Selma, Alabama, led by Martin Luther King, Jr., in 1965.

My mother is on the left, my sister is holding the sign.

As I became a young woman, my mother, who was now middle-aged, served on the board for the homeless people where she listened to their stories, helped them get shelter, and assisted people in getting back on their feet.

She said to me once that homeless people weren't the bums others thought they were; they were usually people who'd had some hardship in life with no one to fall back on for support, and they'd ended up on the streets. 

Her heart always went out to the underserved amongst us.

When I hit my middle-ages, my mother, who was now an old woman, served as a volunteer teaching the Hispanic community English. She did that until she became ill at the age of ninety. 

To my mother, each life mattered because each life contained a human heart and that human heart possessed inherent dignity and worth. That was the ideal my mother embodied and lived by.

Color, religion, race; those weren't labels she understood.

She recognized that we all suffer the loss of loved ones, we all worry about our children, most of us struggle with our siblings, some of us wonder if God exists and many of us question why so much killing and suffering happens in the name of religion.  

There’s more sameness in us than there is difference.

The Diversity Rhetoric Questioned

Some years back, after my mother passed away, I had a series of experiences which led me to question the new diversity rhetoric that had emerged, such as the time I was asked to give a talk on education to a group of mothers from varying backgrounds. 

In defense of diversity, a woman of color felt it her duty to ask me why I only promoted books written by white people. Well, I don't, I explained. I promote books for the quality of the writing and content, not because of the skin color of the author. 

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. ”

— Rumi

The fact is that there are only six canons of great literature in the world and one of them belongs to the West.

I had wanted to introduce these women to our body of great books for children—not all of whom were written by white people—but this particular mom could only see the color of my skin and what she thought was the color of the authors' skin. 

Another experience was with a friend who espoused diversity ideals. When Trump became president, this particular friend of mine from an Eastern country grew livid and said to me,  "The white people have shown their true colors!" 

I had never seen my friend in terms of her skin color, yet she had just revealed that that was exactly how she saw me. I was her "white" friend and now my people had shown their true colors. 

But the experience that took the cake was when an academic corrected me after I objected to the racism of a certain "movement"  which  was in vogue at the time. 

She informed me that I could not accuse other people of being racist because I was white and only white people were racist. Her lack of logical reasoning dumbfounded me.

When you have lived in many different countries, as I have, you learn about  different cultures and different ways of viewing the world. I can tell you first-hand that I have never met a people who did not think they were better than another people.

In every country I’ve lived in, there’s always been the majority group who believed they were better than the minority group or they were better than the people of a neighboring country.

And then there's the individuals; us. Have you ever known an individual who did not express a judgement on another individual, either verbally or by inference?

We expose our petty, self-righteous arrogance every day; she gossips too much, he's too ambitious, he's too materialistic, she's too bossy. 

Whatever they is, we is above it, right?

“We’re all islands shouting lies to each other across seas of misunderstanding.”

— Rudyard Kipling

We all contain seeds of the virtues in our hearts such as compassion, generosity, temperance.

However, our hearts also contain seeds of the vices, such as envy, anger, greed.

But the crowning vice is arrogance, and some of us cultivate the roots of it more than we like to admit, even to ourselves.

Yet, what is racism, if not arrogance?

The Danger of the Group

There are a lot of diverse groups in America and they largely stick to their own kind. Maybe it's a kind of religion; or a kind of race, or a kind of political ideology, but "groups" tend to keep to their own, which makes sense because, after all, they are groups.

But there is something dangerous about  a clustering of kind when we base our identity on the "group" we belong to and see people outside of the "group" as the "other."

Barbara Coloroso, a parenting expert who had studied the genocide in Rwanda, said that the seeds of  genocide take root when we objectify a group of people as "other."

Rather than see them as fellow human beings traveling with us through the journey of life, we see them as "different" from us. 

And that's the crux of the matter. When we teach about diversity, we are teaching about differences, we are teaching about the "other."

If we allow our identity to be based on the identity of a particular  group  instead of our shared humanity, we lose sight of the inward bonds of our collective hearts. 

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

— Mother Teresa

It's not that we can't be a member in a group, but let's not be of the group. And if we have to identify with a group, then let's identify with the group of human beings who shed tears of joy and sorrow for all the same things.

That was the group to which my mother belonged.

Instead of teaching our children about our differences, I'm suggesting we raise our children to focus on our samenesses.

Genocide is genocide; it doesn't matter who is committing it or who it's being committed against. 

When it comes to the innocent slaughter of women and children; regardless of their race, religion, or color, who are we being if we don't stand on the side of mercy?

Who are we when we raise our children to think in terms of "otherness" instead of the common bond of the human heart?

When we dismiss a child's book, not on whether or not the book is worth reading, but because of the skin color of the authors, haven't we ourselves nurtured the seed of genocide?

Upcoming FREE Masterclass! Discover 3 Homeschooling Mistakes No One Tells You About
with Liz Hanson

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling