The disapproving glances. The unsolicited advice. The warning by unhappy family members and friends that you're going to ruin your child if you try to teach him yourself.
Homeschooling parents sometimes have to contend with family, friends, and neighbors who feel justified in expressing their disapproval.
I had a neighbor who was like this. He thought my children should go to public school, so they could be “socialized.” The irony is that he would have easily won the “most-awful-neighbor” award if we had had one.
He was precisely the kind of public-school graduate I did not want my children to become, rude and ill-mannered.
“A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.”
The good news is, however, that other people’s disapproval of your education choice is not your problem; it’s theirs.
And here's four strategies you can use to keep it from becoming your problem:
1) Ignore them
People who openly disrespect your choices, even after you’ve set boundaries with them, are people you probably want to phase out of your life. If they're family, however, you’re best approach is to limit your time with them as much as possible.
If you don’t, they'll undermine your confidence in your ability to teach your children, and you can’t afford to have your morale chipped at when you’re homeschooling.
You also don't want your children to over hear people disrespecting your choice to homeschool.
It will not set the right example for your children if they see that you aren’t standing up for yourself, and if they see someone behaving in an ill-mannered way towards you, especially if it’s a family member.
As long as you and your spouse agree on homeschooling, and you don't have disapproving in-laws living with you, you should do your best to avoid the naysayers.
2) Educate the Ignorant
Many people are ignorant about the benefits to homeschooling, so if you find yourself defending your choice with people who are open to learning more, than I would work on educating them.
Look for articles or videos online about the value and benefits of homeschooling and share these with the questioners.
Anything you share should be short and to the point. Make it easy for them to learn.
If you think they’d be open to reading a short book on what’s wrong with public school, then I would buy them a copy of John Taylor Gatto’s, Dumbing Us Down.
Be prepared to discuss the book and make sure you can counter any objections they might have. You’re on a mission to convince them that homeschooling is a wise choice, so you will need to prepare yourself.
And you never know, they could decide to homeschool too. Your efforts may rescue one more child from spending 12-years in a broken school system.
3) Find like-minded homeschoolers
Find like-minded families to spend time with because you’ll motivate each other and feel supported by one another. When people do express disapproval about homeschooling, they’ll be easier to ignore if you feel supported by other homeschoolers.
4) Be patient
When your children are young is when the disapprovers howl the most. Once your children are older, the proof of homeschooling will be evident, and there will be nothing to question.
“When training beats education, civilization dies.”
When your eldest is around age nine, people will begin to comment on how your child seems “different” but it’s a good sort of different they’ll notice. Compared to schooled children, your child will probably be more knowledgeable, interested in learning, and better mannered than his peers in school.
So be patient. If your naysayers have an ounce of humility, at some point they'll apologize and acknowledge the wise decision you made.
If not, who cares.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
