Replacing Ritalin with Discipline Quickly Cures Behavior Disorders

You may be worried that your unmanageable child has a behavioral disorder or maybe a teacher has suggested as much.

What you are not told is that the cure for his difficult behavior may be as easy as a spoonful of discipline.

The Facts

According to John Rosemond, MS and Bose Ravenel, MD, "No studies to date have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that impulsivity and short attention span - the two primary symptoms of ADHD - result from physical problems or chemical imbalances in the brain."

“The ADHD Establishment would be hard-pressed to explain how, of all the American cultural groups that share a common European heritage, only the Amish have managed to not become infected with the elusive ADHD gene.”

— Rosemond and Ravenel

Rosemond and Ravenel wrote an entire book on the subject called The Diseasing of America's Children: Exposing the ADHD Fiasco and Empowering Parents to Take Back Control, in which they make a strong case for old-fashioned discipline. 

If you have a child who is suspect for one of the three primary behavior disorder diseases, namely ADHD, ODD, or EOBD*, you will be wise to grab a copy of their book.

The Why

Have you ever wondered why before the progressive 1960's cultural revolution, we have no records of behavior disorders that weren't quickly eradicated by not sparing the rod?

Then, as if children had suddenly changed, behavior disorders as disease were added to the DSM manual. 

Now, instead of discipline, children are given medication for their behavior.

We are neglecting to treat the real problem, which is that children are failing to grow up because we have lost the art of raising them well. 

The Problem

When little Susie throws a tantrum in the middle of the department store because she wants a toy, instead of grabbing little Susie by the hand, marching her out of the store, and plopping her into the back seat of your car to let her belt it out, what do we do? 

We try to talk some sense into her while shopping as she continues disturbing the peace.

We may even begin to bribe her with ice cream when she gets home if she promises to stop crying. We might even give her what she wants because we don't have the time or energy to deal with her behavior. 

When Johnny fails to focus long enough to follow our homework instructions or do some chores, what do we do? 

We begin to wonder if his lack of focus has a more sinister cause.

When Adam impulsively pushes his little sister or grabs a toy from another child, we begin to wonder, "Why is he so impulsive?

Could it be?"

These kind of children become prime candidates in school for being singled-out for a behavioral disorder diagnosis. The next step is to send the child for further evaluation. The psychiatrist or psychologist then notes in medical shorthand the following symptoms:

• Short attention span

• Lack of self-control; impulsive

• Difficulty staying on task

• Impatient

• Tantrums

• Easily frustrated

• Defiant 

• Irresponsible

The Oversight

What the psychiatrist or psychologist fails to recognize is that these are also the symptoms of a toddler's "terrible two" behavior.

According to Rosemond and Ravenel, the medical expert has failed to recognize the obvious.

As a consequence of the progressive parenting theories that began to surface in the 1960s, children no longer learn the rules of civil behavior lest we harm their self-esteem.

“The postmodern, non-theistic religion of self-esteem has spawned a host of problems for America’s children.”

— Rosemond and Ravenel

Consequently, incompetent parenting is mistaken for a behavior disorder that requires medication.

Proving how inconclusive the studies around behavior disorders are, and the impossibility of diagnosing a "chemical imbalance," Rosemond and Ravenel encourage parents to ignore the pharmaceutical cry that something is wrong with their child and look to improve their parenting skills instead.

The Reality

Prior to the 1960’s, only 1 - 3% of the population were diagnosed with problems outside the range of normal. If your child is displaying terrible two symptoms beyond the age of the terrible two's, save yourself the time and expense by self-diagnosing the problem for what it is: lax parenting. 

Teach your child good manners and the code of civil conduct, and you'll see his behavior disorders miraculously disappear. A good place to start is with “please” and “thank you.”

“Look at me when I speak to you and listen,” is also good.

And, "Go to your room until you can behave," never failed anyone.

*Disclaimer: You are the best judge of your child. If you think there is a medical issue, seek medical help. But if you suspect lax parenting is at the root of your child’s behavior, then learning to lead your child with love and authority is where you want to start.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

How To Teach Your Child To love Reading

In the current school system, they've lost the spirit of reading and reading is just another subject to be tested on. Children are taught to read too early, too, which hinders their chances of falling in love with reading for its own sake. 

“A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.”

— Mark Twain

If you want your child to become a good reader, you should teach him/her to read when they are developmentally ready, and reading should be something they learn to do for pleasure.

Not to pass an exam. 

If you have young children, then you are probably much younger than I and, therefore, you were probably not taught to read the same way I was taught. 

Let me share my reading experience with you in the hopes that you might imitate it with your own children and raise good readers despite this illiterate time. 

It will be a mammoth feat if you can do it. I believe you can. 

Here's My Story:

What My School Taught

Miss. Gilman was my first-grade teacher, and she taught me to read when I was six. 

Maybe it was her high-heeled black pumps that let you know she was headed your way, or her bright red lipstick that never seemed to fade, but I was a little afraid of Miss Gilman. I was also in awe of her. I think we all were.

I have no recollection of struggling to learn, only that she gave us our instructions and within days I was reading. Learning how to read unlocked the door to another world for me, a world of fascinating characters where anything and everything was possible. 

I would get lost in my books for hours, and for hours every day, I got lost. 

One thing was sure back then: reading was never treated as a chore. It was never something we did for school work. We read to enjoy the story as it unfolded in our minds, and as we fell in love with certain characters in our books.

Each book I read became my favorite book. Each character left its mark in my memory, influencing my ideas about the world and who I was.

No Assigned Reading

We were never assigned books to read. Instead, we were taken to the school library and allowed to choose books that we wanted to read. 

No Book Reports

Miss Gilman never asked me to write a single book report. During my elementary years, I don't remember writing a book report for any of my teachers. 

No Testing

That was my experience learning to read in school. No reading assignments. No book reports. No testing.

Freedom to choose from a selection of books.

My life at home supported Miss Gilman's approach to reading too.

What My Home Taught

At home, books were treated as something special. My father modeled reading for us as he always had a book in his hand. Not just any book, but a classic book, and those were the books he would gift us with too. 

He introduced us to the great Western canon of literature. We even had a library in our house, a room that was lined with built-in shelves and dedicated entirely to books. 

In both school and the home, reading was introduced to me as something enjoyable. I looked forward to reading like I would look forward to riding my bike or playing with a friend. 

Today's children don't look forward to reading, and they hardly read anymore. There are multiple reasons for this; one of them is the way learning to read taught to schoolchildren. 

Children are taught to read when they are still too young, they grow frustrated because of it, and they subsequently develop a negative association with reading.

Not all children, but too many children. When was the last time you saw a child reading in public? For me, it was four years ago. I remember precisely where too. 

I was going into Home Goods, and as I entered through the doors, my eyes fell on a little girl curled up in a couch, and she had a open book in her hand. 

I haven't witnessed a child reading in public since.

Contributing further to a decline in reading are the tests children are given to determine their reading skills and the boring book reports they are required to write. 

To add insult to injury, too many children lose confidence in their intelligence when their level of reading is less than others in the class.

Why do we teach a skill so vital to acquiring knowledge in such a careless way? If children are not good readers today, shouldn't we try to understand why and correct the problem?

But we don't. Instead, we carry on making the same mistakes we've been making ever since children decided that reading wasn't worth their time. 

Be a prudent parent by teaching your child to love reading before you put him/her into the school system. 

Don't take the chance of letting the school mess up the one skill that will ultimately impact your child's level of intelligence and understanding. 

Dumbed-Down was the phrase John Taylor Gatto used in the title his book about the miseries of public education.

What Your Homeschool Will Teach

If you're homeschooling, your chances of raising a good reader are much, much higher than if you put your child into school. 

No tests. No book reports. No assigned reading until they are older.

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”

— Cicero

Model reading for your children. Surround your home with great books. Discuss books with other adults and let your children overhear your conversations. Give books a priority in your home, and your children will learn to prioritize books.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Homeschool the smart way by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time towards helping parents get it right.

5 Tips to Help You Find Enjoyment in Homeschooling

Have you had homeschooling thrust on you, and you're now monitoring a child who's learning online?

While it may seem overwhelming to you now, you can arrange things in a way that makes the process enjoyable and rewarding.

Let me share some facts with you that will put things into perspective and make homeschooling an easier task.

Tip #1: One-on-One Learning Is More Efficient

Children will learn so fast when taught one-on-one that you will have to make an effort to get them behind if you want them to go slower than the pace of public school.

For the twelve years we are bound to the public school system as students, we graduate with very little intellectual knowledge.

If you took a homeschooled child and taught him solidly for eight hours a day, you would be on your way to having an intellectual genius on your hands. 

We do not homeschool for eight hours a day, though, at least not the academic subjects. Our children study anywhere from one to four hours a day of strictly academic material. Maybe more as they get older, but in the elementary years, it isn't necessary because their skills are few.

Compare this to the pinnacle of our literacy rates back in the 19th century when a child's priority was to help on the farm out of a survival need, so he wasn't in school nine months out of the year. Sometimes he would only be in school for a few months per year.

And still, our literacy rates were higher than they are today. It’s the same with homeschooling.

If you are overwhelmed and frightened that you can't do it all, then don't try to do it all. Your children will be fine. Shut down the computer, give your child some good books to read, and take a break.

He'll learn more with a few good books to read in the afternoon than he will be sitting in front of the computer all day.

The online learning programs in and of themselves are dismal failures. There are plenty of studies on this. The tech industry has a huge lobby behind them, and the industry is fabulously wealthy, so they continue to sell us on their alleged success despite not having any.

That's what marketing is all about, isn't it? They made a science out of selling us things that we don't need.

Tip #2: You Cannot Do It All

Do you have multiple children at home? 

Families spend so much time apart now that they don't know how to spend time together day after day after day. You may be experiencing this now.

What's happening with the lockdown in place is that we are facing this tragic fact. Instead of accepting it as a norm, we should realize that it isn't a norm at all. It is anything but normal for families not to know how to live in close quarters together. Families should work together, enjoy time together, and help each other out.

But siblings are separated at an early age and put into school programs, and they don't have the time to develop close relationships with one another. Both parents are working full-time. Few of us have extended family close by. Such are the stresses on modern families today.

Here's one thing you can do now that you are all at home together. If you have older children, teach them to care for your younger children. Getting your older children to help will be the best thing for them.

The one thing that guarantees you raise a decent human being is service. Teach your children to serve others, so they think less of themselves and more about the needs of others. 

The more they learn to care for other people, whether older or younger, the more giving they will become as adults. Generosity and kindness are virtues to be admired. Selfishness is not. 

Don't feel guilty that you can't do it all. Get your older children to help you; you are doing them and the rest of the world a huge favor when you do.

Tip #3: You Can Say No to Online Learning 

Get your children offline. I'm sorry to be blunt about it, but it is about the worst thing you can do. I understand it's the only option you've been given, and I don't blame you at all for taking it. What else were you supposed to do?

But it's clear to all of us that this situation is not going away anytime soon. My daughter is a student at UC Berkeley, and they are now talking about extending the quarantine through the fall. Some colleges have already done this. 

With this plan in motion, they expect you to buy into this substandard virtual schooling for your children: don't do it. 

The people behind these virtual schools don't understand education let alone homeschooling, and they never will. These are businessmen, not educators. They know how to make money, and they are raking in millions if not billions. (I think it is actually billions collectively.)

You can pull your child out of public school any time you want. You are not obligated to put your child into public school, and you are certainly not being forced to plop your child in front of a computer all day. 

You have to follow specific protocols when you take your child out of school, but that's no big deal. Legally you are within your rights to homeschool in all 50 states. If you need more help, pop me an email.

Most of you have no choice but to homeschool through what may become a recurring lockdown, so you may as well enjoy it. That's the way I look at it. You should find a way to enjoy it, and you should find a way to teach your children things that are worth learning.

Real books would be the perfect place to start. Read real books to your child written by authors who knew how to write. 

Tip #4: You Have to Make a Daily Schedule 

Set a schedule up for when you will homeschool, when you do chores and other domestic duties. The more you plan ahead and learn to maximize your time, the more you will get done.

Tip #5 It Does Matter What Your Children Read

Get your children reading books throughout the day that have not been dumbed-down for an illiterate society. I hear parents say things like, “Well, yes, he’s reading comic books, but at least he’s reading.”

Comic books are fine now and then, but they will not help your chid develop the skill of reading well.

Resist the intellectual malaise we find ourselves in today. If you want your children to become good readers, you need to provide them with quality books to read. 

Feel free to grab a copy of the Smart Homeschooler book list of over 80 intelligent books to expand your child's mind with. 

If you get your children off of the computer and put a book in their hand, I promise you that everyone will have a much better time, and your stress levels will plummet. 

Throw in a grammar lesson and some math, and you'll become a better homeschooler than any online school could ever hope to be.

I’m placing my bet on you.

I've seen it done many times before. I've done it myself. You can too. 

Embrace homeschooling, embrace your family, and find the enjoyment in learning and being together. The enjoyment is there but the onus is on us to discover it. These four rules should serve as a good place to start.

Homeschool the smart way by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time towards helping parents get it right.

6 Mistakes Parents Make that Stifle Their Child's Intelligence

Would Beethoven be Beethoven if he had been born in another time, another place, and to a family with no musical talent?

Would Tiger Woods be Tiger Woods if he hadn't grown up playing golf from a young age and been surrounded by golfers?

Would the Polgar sisters be the Polgar sisters if they hadn't grown up immersed in the world of chess and first-rate chess players?

To all of the above, the answer is unequivocally no! Genius doesn't happen in a vacuum; it is bred. Anyone savvy enough can raise a genius.

“Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them.”

— Richard Buckminster Fuller

What do all three of the aforementioned people have in common? They each had a father who pushed them to become great at something.

You may be a highly intelligent person, and your offspring may also have the potential for above-average intelligence, but whether they become highly intelligent or not will depend upon how you raise them.

On the other hand, you may have average intelligence, but if you believe that you can raise a genius, and you set out to figure out how, and you implement the strategies that you learn, then chances are you will either succeed or get close enough.

For sure, you'll raise a much more intellectually precocious child than you would have had you not tried. 

Below is a list of six mistakes parents make that you want to avoid making if you would like to raise a near-genius or even a genius:

Don't put your child into school

Homeschool him/her instead. While no studies prove that homeschooled children are smarter, if there were studies conducted, I'd bet my life they would show that homeschooled children are more intelligent.

“Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why do I say this? Because children homeschooled well (not all homeschools are equal) are trained to use their minds, and consequently, their intellects are more developed. It would logically follow that they would grow up to be more intelligent.  

Also, homeschooled children are more likely to come from families who provide a more intellectually stimulating environment in the home, which is significant.

There are more reasons why a homeschooled child would be more intelligent (I teach a whole course on this subject alone!), but these two reasons should suffice for now.

Before we continue, we should qualify the term homeschooling. I'm not referring to virtual schools or public-schools-at-home, but to a state-free education with a challenging curriculum. 

It’s the much easier and more effective way to homeschool contrary to what most people are led to believe.

Do not let your child use technology

There is no quicker way to make a child utterly stupid in relation to intellectual precocity than by indulging him in hand-held devices or any other kind of electronics, including educational software and television programs. 

Allowing your child to watch Sesame Street or play video games is about the worst thing you could do.

Do not take on outside work that separates you from your young child

That you are present as a mother during your child's formative years from birth to age seven is vital to his intellectual development. 

To the best of your ability, and it isn’t always easy to do today as so many women have to work, but arrange your life so that you can afford the luxury of either staying home with your baby or bringing your baby to work.

The contemporary message mothers get is that its fine to go to work and your baby will do just as well, but this is an untruth. Children are not just fine, as is evidenced by earlier and earlier symptoms of depression, anxiety, frequent illnesses, emotional instability, and suicide during childhood. 

Think back on your own childhood when your mother went out and left you behind. Remember the anxiety you felt when she shut the door and was suddenly gone? Think of the joy, too, that you felt when she returned, and all was right with the world again. 

I remember these moments well; I'm sure you do too.

Why do we think babies are so different today?

Don't surround your child with ordinary or mediocre people

This isn’t about being a snob but you have to find people who have excelled in their fields and let them be role models for your child. Your child has to understand what's possible for him or her too.

Do not decide for your child what it is your child should love

You can still succeed at raising a genius if you do, but you have a better chance of raising a genius if you expose your child to many experiences and subjects and talented people during his elementary years. 

When he discovers the thing that ignites his heart, whether it be an academic subject, a fine art, or a sport, it's the spark you're after as that will determine whether or not he will develop enough motivation over the years to eventually become great.

Motivation is the deciding factor. When we love something enough, we do it for its own sake. The motivation is inherent in the love of the thing we do.

Do not push your child too soon

People who excel tend to fall in love with their object of interest first, and later, when they are older—around the teenage years—they begin to train for excellence seriously.

“Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.”

— Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

The desire for training from comes from the heart of the student, so let it unfold in its own time and at its own pace. 

If you want to raise a genius, and I would encourage you to do so, the above points are a few pitfalls you want to avoid. 

Lastly, what do we mean by genius? It's the state of acquiring a level of mastery in one or more areas combined with originality. 

Genius is the sum total of many years of discipline and practice and hard work.

Genius is rooted in creativity; that's why getting the early years right is so vital to all that follows. The seeds of creativity sprout in the formative years from birth to age seven, but this is a whole other topic. 

“I’ve concluded that genius is as common as dirt. We suppress genius because we haven’t yet figured out how to manage a population of educated men and women. ”

— John Taylor Gatto, Author, Distinguished Educator

Homeschool the smart way by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home. Enrollment is open through April 15, 2020 with reduced Covid-19 prices to help those in need.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, former practicing acupuncturist, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time towards helping parents get it right.

A veteran homeschooler, she has successfully homeschooled two children who are now in college.

3 Tips to Make Homeschooling Fun for Everyone

When parents say homeschooling is a struggle, their kids don't listen to them, and they don't know if they're doing things right, there is only one explanation: the parents neither understand the spirit nor the mechanics of homeschooling. 

Homeschooling is like religion.

Religious groups are either too outwardly focused, in which case they become focused on the rules and lose the spirit, or they become too focused on the spirit and lose the rules.

Both extremes will miss the mark.

We, mortals, are extremists. We tend to fall on one side of the tightrope or the other, but very few of us actually find the middle point in anything we do. Homeschoolers are no different. 

Parents can loosen the reins too much and let their kids do their own thing, otherwise known as unschooling. The children may fail to get a strong academic foundation that could handicap them later. in certain areas

On the other side, the parents are afraid to let go of the state leash, and they go for the public-school-at-home approach by using the charter and virtual school programs. 

While the latter option is incredibly dull and misses the point to homeschooling, the unschoolers get the idea to homeschool but they may also miss the mark. 

Most parents go for the public-school-at-home approach because this method is akin to having someone babysitting you while you're homeschooling. You may not have confidence in your ability to homeschool, and you might fear your attempts will shut the door for your children to go to college, forever. 

But if you think the public-school-at-home approach is the easier option, I can assure you that it is not.

The easiest way to homeschool is to disengage from any state / federal strings and muster up your courage to homeschool the smart way. 

“In a home school, the kid does 95% of the work.”

— John Taylor Gatto

Any parent of average intelligence and a speckle of patience can homeschool well and raise children to be highly intelligent. You can do it; do not doubt your ability to do a good job. 

It won't be perfect, but it will be good enough, and it will be far better than any public school approach.

Let me offer you 3 tips that will all add up to more fun and enjoyment while homeschooling..

1. Mindset

No one can learn everything, even in an entire lifetime. The width and breadth of all there is to know is too vast. Understand that, apart from the foundational subjects, your children will learn what they learn during the ten plus years they have to study under your tutelage. 

What they learn will be unique to each child. 

That's how homeschooling works. There's no cookie-cutter approach to learning, and this is precisely where the magic lies.

Don't make the mistake of comparing what your children know to other children, and then worrying that you aren't doing a good job. Have the mindset that as long as you are teaching them the rudimentary skills children need to learn during the elementary years, what they learn beyond that cannot be comparatively measured. 

“The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery.”

— Mark Van Doren

What they learn beyond that is what will produce a singularly, accomplished adult. It is where you will find the joy and amazement in discovering all that your child is capable of learning and of becoming. 

2) Curriculum

Understand what your children need to know to become well-educated and to have the kind of education that even most private schools no longer provide today. 

Your children deserve an elite education, and, with a little guidance, you are perfectly capable of providing one. 

Your children will not get an elite education by unschooling or doing public-school-at-home. 

My son tutors English in the tutoring center of his college, and he was shocked to discover that most students did not know how to deconstruct a sentence and that some of them did not know the essential parts that comprise a sentence. As he put it, "They are literally, illiterate."

You do not want to raise an illiterate child. 

3) Behavior

Children are raised today with the delusion that they are capable of making wise decisions for themselves when they are not. 

Because we raise them with this delusion, they don't learn to see us as the authority figure who guides them and is wiser than they are; consequently, they can be rude and poorly behaved.

If you try to homeschool this child, you will meet with resistance depending upon how delusional you raised your child to be.

Establishing the right relationship with your child, therefore, is essential if you want to homeschool, and give your child a fantastic education.

Before you even crack open a book with your child, take a few weeks to re-establish boundaries and expectations in your home. If you do this, homeschooling will be enjoyable and rewarding. If not, you'll struggle to teach your child and will probably argue with him/her a lot.

With the correct mindset, the proper curriculum, and the right relationship with your child, homeschooling is a lifestyle you will love. 

If you're not enjoying homeschooling your children, then get offline. Untie yourself from the government leash, and learn how to make this time sweet and productive.

These are your children's best learning years: do not waste them on a substandard homeschooling program. 

You have a window from birth to the teen years where you can lay the foundation for raising a genius. 

The onus is on you to learn how. 

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

Send Your Kids Outside if You Want Some Peace and Quiet→

Children staying indoors and not knowing what to do with themselves is a new phenomenon. It's new because parents no longer establish expectations of their children based on what children and adults need.

What do adults need? They need peace and quiet, and time away from their children, so they can get their daily tasks done and take a break now and then.

It's a perfectly reasonable need.

What do children need? Children need to learn how to entertain themselves outdoors, rain or shine, without adult supervision. They need fresh air and sunshine too.

“Why do so many Americans say they want their children to watch less TV, yet continue to expand the opportunities for them to watch it? ”

— Richard Louv

If your children are inside giving you a hard time, why don't you send them outside? They'll survive. Tell them to get dressed and go outside until you call them back indoors. 

If they insist on coming back in without permission, then lock the doors so they can't return until you say they can.

The first week will be hellish. Your children may whine, cry, wail, and God knows what else. But soon they'll start to play. They'll invent games on their own, they'll climb trees, they'll make mud pies, and they'll do all sorts of things they wouldn't do if you let them stay indoors.

You'll call them in at the regular hour, and they'll want to continue playing.

It sounds divine, doesn't it?

It's called having a normal childhood. Living outdoors in their free time is what children have always done. The indoor obsession with technology and the lazy behavior that follows is unhealthy and abnormal. 

It's against everything that childhood stands for: adventure, joy, laughter, exploration, fun, learning, and socializing.

As your children use their imaginations to figure out what to do with their time, they're learning how to become resourceful too. 

For example. one of my favorite things is to go into my kitchen, find absolutely nothing to cook and invent a new meal that I've never made before. It's not my favorite thing to do, really. But I do love it when my children think they will have nothing good to eat for dinner, and then they come to the table with disbelief.

"Where did you get this?" said they. 

"In the cupboard, said I."

"But there was nothing to eat," said they.

"You didn't look hard enough, said I."

I learned how to be a resourceful cook when I was a young woman, because there was a time when I was living overseas and money wasn't plentiful. The cupboards often seemed bare, so I had to learn how to make something out of nothing.

Your children need to learn how to be resourceful because there will be times when life’s cupboards seem bare, so to speak.

If they don't know how to figure a way out of a difficult situation, they'll be lost.

Learning to become resourceful happens when you have nothing—or you think you have nothing. You have to wrack your brains to figure out how to make something out of nothing. 

“There’s nothing to do; I’m so bored.”

— Discontent Child

Like when you put your children outdoors with nothing but some water and a snack. At first, they won't know what to do with themselves. That's when the moaning and groaning will set in. They'll call you a mean mother and all sorts of awful things.

You'll be inside warm and cozy, and you'll feel guilty as can be. But don't. What you're doing for them is in their best interest.

Once they realize you mean business, they'll begin to find things to do outdoors. And this is one way they will learn how to become resourceful and to engage in life.

Another option would be to set a kitchen timer outdoors. You can give your children a trial run by setting the timer for 20 minutes. When it goes off, they can come inside. You will slowly work your way up to two hours per day. 

At some point, you won't even need it anymore because they'll be having so much fun. 

This plan of ours will work much better if you get rid of the technology in the home. By the way, it's a given they are not allowed to take any technology outdoors, right?!

“The woods were my Ritalin. Nature calmed me, focused me, and yet excited my senses.”

— Richard Louv

Unplug them inside, and they'll play a lot better outside. Keep them plugged in, and you'll have whiney kids forever. Technology interferes with your child's ability to learn how to entertain himself, which is why you want to get it out of your children's sight.

Lastly, once you get past the two-week point, you should find life has suddenly become very blissful. Your children will know how to occupy themselves indoors and outdoors, and you'll have some peace and quiet in your home.

Grab a cup of tea and enjoy it. No guilt allowed. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated. She also provides you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Is Online Learning Really as Good as They Say?

The number of public school students who learn online has grown exponentially during the past decade. Private businesses like K-12 have been contracted by the government to provide an education for these virtual students.

Now with the Corona Virus in full bloom, the virtual world is bustling with young children sitting in front of computers, instead of classrooms. Bill Gates must be pleased. So must Mike Milken.

It's a major coup on the American people who are pumping their tax dollars into the hands of these large "educational" conglomerates, but that's another story. 

The Question

The question to ask now is, is virtual learning the right way to go in light of this crisis, and if not, what is an alternative that's within your average parent's reach?

 While holding that thought, it's always wise to remember that just because everyone is doing something doesn't make it right. There is ample evidence now that virtual schools provide a sub-par education.

Ineffective Way to Learn

One need not look very far to find the evidence. Consider this: 50.1% of virtual high school students graduate within four years compared with 84% of high school students nationally, according to the National Education Policy Center at the University of Colorado Boulder.

Putting aside the low educational standards and the bleeding of the taxpayer's money, let's look at the other disadvantages to the virtual schools that too many parents fail to take into consideration.

Social Development

1) A lack of proper social development is a matter that should concern parents tremendously. To develop excellent social skills, one must socialize. To put your child in front of a computer all day, and expect that he'll grow up to be a socially adept person is wishful thinking. 

He won't. It's like confining a child to a playpen and expecting him to learn how to run.

Daniel Goleman first pointed out in the 1990s that emotional intelligence, which includes good social skills, is vitally important to a person's ability to do well in life. There have been many, many studies since which have confirmed his findings. 

Even if we had no studies, common sense would tell us this is true. 

Screen Addiction

2) Another oversight by parents is the idea that a child can study at a computer all day and not develop the habit of using the computer. What we do every day becomes our habits and forms who we are.

Children who spend time in front of computers for any purpose, even education, are at a far higher risk for developing video games and social media addictions later. 

If a child has a video game problem or a social media problem, do you think he or she will be out playing sports or engaged in social activities or reading books? 

What consequences will this have on his or her life? They'll have more health problems from a lack of physical activity, and they'll do less well in life from a lack of well-developed social skills. 

The Virtual Teacher

3) What about the role the teacher plays in the child's learning process? A teacher inspires a student to love what he or she is teaching; a good teacher motivates a child to work harder; a good teacher builds a relationship with a child that influences the child to become better at what he does.

A computer screen with a teacher staring at your from the other end of nowhere is simply no replacement for the real thing any more than the image of you looking back in the mirror is you. Both have a real person behind them, but there is only one real person in the room. 

Will the child be inspired to emulate his virtual teacher in the way he does his real-life teacher?

Health Problems

4) Sitting in front of a computer all day causes health problems. Adults suffer all sorts of ailments from sitting in front of a computer and not getting enough exercise such as musculoskeletal injuries, headaches, poor vision, inability to focus, obesity, cardiovascular illnesses, waning memories, and so forth.

Why do we think there are no health risks for our children when they are still developing their minds and bodies and in even more need of physical activity than we are?

Myopia

Children who use the computer are at higher risk for developing myopia (nearsightedness), according to researchers. In the past few decades, as computer use has become more and more common for children, so has the necessity for reading glasses. (Too early reading will cause this too.)

Effects on Posture

Posture is also a problem because sitting at the computer causes us to slouch forward and tilt our heads back, which can lead to bad posture, headaches, and muscle strain.

Obesity

Obesity amongst children has become a significant concern amongst pediatricians because of the physical and psychological health problems that accompany it like heart disease, musculoskeletal issues, and a lack of self-esteem, to name a few. 

The Alternative

Rather than using the virtual schools, riddled with so many unwanted side-effects, why don't you homeschool your children with real books instead? 

You may have the belief that you aren't qualified to teach your child, so take a moment to reflect on the fact that you were the first teacher to your child, and you were successful. You taught him how to walk, talk, get dressed, tie his shoe, and so forth. 

When you are a homeschooling parent, instead of tying shoes, he is learning math. It's that simple. There is no magic to it. We have this idea that only "accredited" teachers can teach, but there isn't a proposition more ludicrous than this. Anyone can teach. You are always teaching your children whether you're aware of it or not. 

It's a mindset, that's all it is. Homeschooling parents have confidence in their ability to teach their children. 

You will need a curriculum, you will need to understand what to do, you will need to schedule your day, but the actual teaching is not rocket science. Anyone can teach a first grader to read. 

If you're wondering what you'll do with your child all day, remember this: his childhood will be over before you know it. Instead of panicking about what to do, enjoy this time. Read to him, take him to the park, help him with his schoolwork, bake with him, do art projects with him.

The world has never been short of lovely things to do.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

Homeschooling with a Toddler Tugging at Your Skirt

Some parents are afraid to homeschool when they have a newborn or toddler, and other parents homeschool without thinking twice about it. 

Life is messy, but it's okay, is a helpful mindset to have when you have young children under the age of two. 

While it may be challenging to imagine homeschooling with a toddler if you've never homeschooled before, the reality is that it's manageable.

Before a child reaches age two, you'll probably work at a slower pace with your homeschooled children than you did previously unless you've trained your children to work well independently, or you can hire help.

Homeschoolers should be adept at self-study and able to work on their own; this is a large part of the homeschooling education. 

As your youngest child grows older and becomes more independent, make sure that he (she) doesn't get into the habit of expecting you by his side night and day. If you can foster his independence, you should be fine. 

It's when parents don't wean their child off of thinking the parent is there to serve them that the parent's then feel overwhelmed. They get less done because they are still at the 'beck and call' of the youngest child who will naturally become very demanding.

Assuming you’re not daunted by the idea of homeschooling with a toddler tugging at your skirt, here are a few strategies you can use to keep him occupied and lessen the chance of being interrupted while you're teaching your older children.

1) Have a special box with toys that only come out during lesson time. This box is his (her) special box that he looks forward to playing with. It should keep him occupied for a long time.

2) Make sure you give him one-on-one time before you begin teaching the others and give him some attention on the breaks.

3) After the age of three, teach him not to interrupt you. When he does, just put him back and remind him that you're teaching. 

As a general rule of thumb, a child past the age of three should be able to entertain himself for about an hour. I can attest to this first-hand because my children played for hours when they were young without interruption.

4) If necessary, hang a sign up that lets him know he cannot interrupt you until you take it down. You can hang a red sheet of construction paper on the door for "don't interrupt" and a green sheet that tells him you're available. 

If worse comes to worst, set a timer and put him in his room for a minute or two while you stand by. The point is to train him not to interrupt you as early as possible.

If the time-out sounds severe, consider this: how much more troubling will it be for him to see you annoyed and irritated every time he interrupts you? 

He's too young to understand why you're annoyed, but he's not too young to know that you're unhappy with him.

Why get into the habit with him when it is so easy to avoid? 

5) The most crucial key is to keep technology out of sight. There is no greater de-motivator of exploration and wonder than the television or smartphone.

Your children will not learn how to entertain themselves in you allow them to engage in screen use, and you will find yourself in a constant battle with them over it, which only gets worse as they grow older.

Spare yourself and your child from going down this fast road to misery. 

The facts are that many homeschoolers have large families with infants and toddlers, but that doesn't deter them from homeschooling. If anything, the more, the merrier.

You can do it if you develop the mindset that it's all right if every day doesn't go as planned, and that some chaos is par for the course when you have a child under the age of two.

Try to embrace these years with open arms instead of resistance and resentment, because they'll be over before you know it, and you'll wish you could have them back.

Are you thinking of homeschooling, but don't think you can do it with a toddler in tow?

Muster up your courage, get a plan in place, and homeschool as if you have no alternative because your child will get a better education at home.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

Why You Should Say No to Extra-Curricular Activities

Do you like having too much to do; running here and there with no time to catch your breath?

I don't either, yet, isn't this what we do to our children? We over-schedule them.

We run Tommy to soccer practice, Anna to ballet, Joseph to swimming lessons, and then Tommy to his reading tutor, Anna to her riding lessons, and Joseph to his playgroup.

All this after everything the kids have to do, including chores and school / homeschool work. 

It becomes a full day for everyone; you're exhausted, your kids are tired, and yet the extra-curricular activities continue because that's what everyone does today.

We over schedule our children and fail to recognize the implications of making extra-curricular activities a priority in our family's life.

Let's look at the consequences of hyper-scheduling our kids.

• Stress levels increase for everyone

• No one has leisure time to pursue the simple pleasures in life

• Family time is compromised

• Skipped Family Meals 

• The energy expenditure leaves everyone exhausted

It's stressful to always be on the go. Our minds and our bodies crave and need downtime when we can relax and experience life at a slower pace. Children's needs aren't any different.

Why Leisure Time Matters More

Hobbies

Children need leisure time to use their creative minds to learn how to entertain themselves with hobbies like needlepoint, knitting, collecting stamps, or building model airplanes. 

Social Skills

Leisure time also allows children to go outdoors and play with the neighborhood kids or visit a friend, both of which are crucial to developing excellent social skills. 

And sometimes, like us, a child just wants to lie down and read a book. 

Read a Book

There are a lot of reasons why children don't read today, but is one of them because they haven't had enough leisure time to develop the habit of reading?

Family Time

When each child has different extra-curricular activities, there's little time for shared activities as a family. 

If you're rushing to get Anna to ballet, you have no time for an afternoon reading with your children or taking them to the park in the afternoon. 

Your family life begins to take place around extra-curricular activities; in other words, family life is not a priority for your family; extra-curricular activities are.

Lack of Energy

Some children need more downtime than others. The over-scheduling of their day can result in fatigue and a loss of enthusiasm. 

Skipped Family Meals

Often the extra-curricular activities take place in the evenings leaving no one home to cook or serve a family meal. Consequently, the family eats with dad while you rush Tommy to soccer practice. 

Putting It into Perspective

What's more important at the end of the day?

When your children are grown and gone, will it be that Tommy was a good soccer player or that your child was a responsible and active member of your family and that your family shared a close bond?

The latter is vital to everyone's well-being especially your children. Instead of over-scheduling them, let them each take one class, don't let it interfere with meal times or weekend activities, and make sure your children have enough leisure time to figure out what they enjoy doing, what they're good at, and ultimately, who they are. 

Let them unwind, gather their thoughts, settle their minds, and have enough time to replenish their energy and be ready to get up the next day and do it again.

With enthusiasm, not dread. 

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

Who Are the Parents That Are Changing the World?

The answer is homeschooling parents.

If you're homeschooling, pat yourself on the back because you're making a huge contribution to society, and possibly to the world. 

Let's look at the facts: 

Public-Schooled Children

1) Schooled children are more likely to grow up to be poor readers in the sense that they don’t have the skill to read the kind of literature that many first-hand sources demand of us.

When many homeschoolers educate their children using primary sources such as The Federalist Papers or the Declaration of Independence and public-schools teach their students using tertiary sources in the form of textbooks, well, the facts speak for themselves.

There's no way around this. Not being able to read primary sources will make you dependent on tertiary sources for your information. How can you think for yourself when you're dependent on other people’s interpretation of the material? 

Won't this also add to a decline of knowledge and wisdom, and therefore, to a less intelligent society?

2) Public-school children are more likely to grow up with a habit of lying and cheating. In the film, Race to Nowhere, it was revealed that 97% of public-school students lie because the testing demands are so unrealistic that the only way to pass from one grade to the next is by being dishonest. 

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

Dishonesty breeds distrust, and no relationship can survive distrust.

It's a collective dishonesty too. When it's only one or two children that lie, it's seen as poor character, but when everyone lies, it becomes a cultural norm. The proof is all around us.

Fifty years ago, it was unusual for a person in good standing in society to lie. When in doubt, it was assumed that the person was telling the truth.

This isn't true anymore. When a person's integrity is questioned, it's assumed now that he or she is lying.

We've become a country where lying is no longer seen as shocking; instead, it's the cultural norm.

3) School children are more likely to have lower moral standards in part because their peers have more influence over them than their parents, and schools no longer encourage moral behavior.

4) School children are less likely to share strong bonds with their family or to uphold the same family values when they are grown. This lack of shared values undermines the family unit.

Isn't the family unit the cornerstone of a society?

How can there be a healthy society without healthy families? Any country with wise and just leaders will make the well-being of its families a primary concern. 

Considering the same points that were just mentioned, let's now look at how homeschooled children differ from public schooled children:

Homeschooled Children

1) Homeschooled children tend to be self-learners for life, pursuing knowledge for its own sake. They tend to have better critical thinking skills, because they are used to thinking for themselves.

They don't have unrealistic demands put on them by an educational bureaucracy comprised of businessmen like Bill Gates and Mike Milken who know more about making obscene amounts of money than they do about the educational needs of our children. 

2) Homeschooled children are typically good readers who love to and do read in their leisure time. They are continually increasing their knowledge, their understanding, and their minds, which contributes to a not dumbed-down society, a condition we desperately need to remedy. 

3) Homeschooled children tend to be better mannered, which amounts to a naturally improved character. They grow up under the supervision of parents who have the time and influence to guide them in the right ways. 

4) Homeschool children are more likely to grow up with the same values as their family contributing to a more solid family unit, and consequently, a more solid society.

Let's look at how this affects us as a country.

We claim to have high literacy rates, but it's common knowledge that we lower the standards of the tests to make us look better educated. We’re not as literate as we seem on paper.

Talk to ten high school students about their reading habits if you want to know how far from reality the literacy statistics veer.

Here's what our president had to say about it: "We're 26th in the world. 25 countries are better than us at education. And some of them are like third world countries. But we're becoming a third world country."

It is difficult to disagree with him. 

The less educated we are and the lower our moral standards are, the more mediocre a people we become. 

This, I conclude, is the reason why homeschooled children are our only hope for turning the tide on a country inflicted with a moral and intellectual malaise.

Ask any Canadians or Britons what they think of the average American intelligence? I've asked them many times, and I always get the answer I expect. A kind of embarrassed giggle and a confession that, yes, they think we are of inferior intelligence. 

It's no secret to anyone but ourselves. It's not that we are born with inferior intelligence, but that we don't develop our minds. And if we don't develop them, we can hardly use them, which is why the shameless entertainment and technology industry is making such a killing off of us. 

Why do we accept this for ourselves and our children when we can do so much better?

The human spirit is capable of greatness.

Greatness!

“Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.”

— Shakespeare

If you're able to homeschool, please join us! Without a miracle of some sort, and until we have a better educational system in place, it's the one hope we have for a better future.

Take control of your child's education and do the best job you can do. 

With diligence and perseverance, it will be far better than the dumbing down of our children's minds that the government schools are forcing on us.

Homeschooling is a rewarding experience. It is inspiring to watch a young person discover his or her mind and put it to better use than you could ever imagine.

And if you're already homeschooling, then you know that there is nothing more satisfying than being this person's teacher. 

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

Juggle Homeschooling and Small Children with This One Business Strategy

Superman could not have conquered all that a woman with young children has to overcome in a day.

So why do we set superwoman expectations for ourselves?

If you have a child under the age of two, and you're reading this, take it from someone who's been there. My exact thoughts after my first month of being a new mother were, "This is a short cut to insanity!"

You will never be able to accomplish as much as you did before you had your baby, and sometimes you may even find it difficult to take a shower or brush your teeth.

Unless you learn how to come to terms with and manage this situation, you’re in for a lot of frustration and resentment ahead.

There's a simple reason for your new lack of productivity, too: you are no longer a free agent. You are now a servant to your baby, and servants are too busy serving to think about anything else.

If you look at it from this perspective, instead of feeling frustrated and disappointed with yourself for not getting more done, it becomes easier because you realize it's temporary. Freedom will come again, but it will take a couple of years.

Freedom Lies Ahead

As your baby moves past the two-year mark and is capable of becoming more independent, your job is to make sure he does become independent. You train him to do more for himself, while you do less for him, and you slowly gain your freedom back.

Now, if you're a homeschooling mother, this servant problem, as temporary as it may be, is still a problem. You not only have to keep your older children clothed, fed, and exercised, but you also need to educate them.

There's no maternity leave, and there's no sabbatical when you’re a homeschooling mother.

What do you do? You can't get organized enough to get dinner on the table at a reasonable hour, so how are you going to teach your children?

There is a little hope, so don’t despair yet. Things will still be chaotic for a while, but the chaos should subside to a more tolerable level. 

There's a strategy I use in business that works in the home, too, because, after all, running a home well requires good management skills. If you implement my strategy, you’ll keep overwhelm at bay most of the time.

The Plan

Yes, the Plan. A realistic plan, not a superwoman plan. Get a plan in place that's based on what you can actually do, not on what superwoman can do. Your first step is to get realistic about what this is. 

Realism #1

1. Get some paper and a pen and make a list of every single thing you expect to do in any given day and week. 

2. Rate your list according to what has to be done, what should be done, and what can wait six months. To rate your list, put an A, B, or C by each item on your list.

3. Rewrite your list according to your new categories. 

4. Take a new sheet of paper and make a list of only the A items. These are the items you must and can realistically perform in any given day.

Realism #2

1. Take your A list items and one by one, write down the tasks you need to complete before you can do each A list item.  For example, if you need to homeschool by 9:00 a.m. then you need to get your children up, dressed, and fed first.

2. For each task on your list, work backward to determine the steps that you need to take to reach your goal, so you can determine the amount of time it'll take to complete each task.

3. Schedule the "A" list items into your daily planner 

(A planner is your therapist when you have too much to do. It will help you remain sane.)

What About Missed Deadlines?

Will you be able to do your tasks on schedule? Not always, you’ll miss many deadlines which is okay because it isn't the point. The point is to know what needs to be done and approximate how long each task will take so you can be ready to homeschool at or around 9:00 a.m. 

Clearing the Obstacles to Your Success

Another thing that's important to the success of your plan is to understand the obstacles that may be draining your time and energy.

Is there anything in your day that takes more time than what's necessary? Once you've determined that there is, then you want to rid yourself of the obstacle. 

A typical obstacle is the Picky Eater syndrome. Somehow, being a picky eater has become the norm, but it shouldn't be. A child should eat what he's served, no whining about it.

If you are raising your children to be picky eaters, you are going to spend a lot of unnecessary time in the kitchen.

Unless there are diagnosable food allergies, children should be taught to eat what's served to them. A "family" meal is a meal that's everyone shares. When everyone has a special meal prepared for them, it's no longer a family meal. 

You can learn more about the Picky Eater syndrome, but for now, if this is a habit you've adopted, then break it. You will save a lot of time for yourself every single morning by as much as one hour.  

And time is more precious than gold when you have young children.

You will feel less frazzled, and your children will behave better because they now know what you expect of them, at least at breakfast time. 

Don't worry. Your child will not starve if he skips a meal, but he will become spoiled and unappreciative if you indulge him with special meals.

Once you've tackled the obstacles that are slowing you down, acknowledge your success, and recognize that it can get easier.

One by one, go through the same steps listed above with each item on your list until you can remove all obstacles and get your "A" items successfully handled in a day with an hour or two in the evening to relax, baby's needs permitting.

Your “B” Items

Once you've got your "A" items handled, you can then tackle your "B" items. By now, though, you may have realized that your "B" items need to go to the "C" list because you only have so much time and energy in a day.

A warning though: you don't want more than three items on your "A" list in any given day, or you'll feel overwhelmed, and this is what we're trying to conquer. Keep your list short and realistic, always. 

Revisit your plan every few months. As your baby gets older, life will become less hectic. Once he hits the age of two, you can start slowly transitioning him into a relatively independent existence. By the time your youngest is six, you should be sailing along.

If you use this strategy to get a little more organized and a little less overwhelmed, you'll be able to get more homeschooling done. There are other strategies you can implement, but this is one that will undoubtedly help.

It's crucial to your family's well-being that you do your best to keep your stress levels under control because if you don't, you will always feel frustrated and exhausted, and you'll frequently grow short with those you love most. 

We've all been there, and it doesn't feel good. 

“Better do a little well, than a great deal badly. ”

— Socrates

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

10 Books Every Concerned Parent Should Read

The world is a little topsy-turvy right now especially when it comes to raising and educating our children.

The following books were carefully chosen as a guide to help you navigate some of the issues you will face as a parent living in the West.

1. Hold On to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate, M.D.

In trying to understand why children no longer revere their parents in the same way that my parent's generation revered their parents, I turned to Neufeld and Mate's book, Hold On to Your Kids.

Part of the answer lies within the pages of this book and will help you understand why peer pressure is so real, and how you can lose your children to peer pressure. It also contains some suggestions for how to protect the bond between you and your children. 

While their solutions are somewhat naive, if I may be so bold as to say that, the authors delineate a very real situation that every parent should understand.

2. Recovering the Lost Tools of Learning by Dorothy Sayers

This essay is Dorothy Sayer's famous critique of modern education using her great wit and brilliant insight. It's amusing as well as informative.

To raise the standard for your child's education, you need first to understand what level of academic work he's capable of doing. There's no better way to do this than to ignore the standards of modern education, and, instead, look at what school children used to learn. 

3. The Disappearance of Childhood by Neil Postman

Neil Postman was a perceptive social critic who argued that childhood was disappearing. The reason for the disappearance was the blurred lines that technology created by exposing children to the adult world too soon.

With the loss of childhood also came the loss of adulthood, which continues to present a significant problem for our society's ability to remain civil. 

4. Gwynne's Latin by N. M. Gwynne - The Introduction

Mr. Gwynne is an expert on the subject of the Latin language. He tells stories of having studied Latin for 90 minutes a day, five days a week as a schoolboy.

By the time I (and later, you) went to school, they had eliminated Latin from the curriculum. To our detriment, too, because without the study of Latin, you can never fully understand or appreciate the English language. 

People who learn Latin are better educated. It's a simple fact. The reason you should read his introduction to his Latin book is that he will give you an irrefutable argument for why you should have your children learn Latin. You can study it, too, as I do–it's never too late.

5. The Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto

Gatto's opus work tells the story of how a sub-standard modern education came to be, and why you must understand it's origins so you can make informed decisions for your children when it comes to deciding how you want to educate them. 

I prefer Gatto's original work over the newly revised work of the same title. Buy a copy of the older book, if you can. His newer version was written during his last years, and intended as a three-volume set, but, sadly, he never finished it. 

6. The Platonic Tradition by Peter Kreeft

You may be wondering why I included this title? It's vital to Western civilization that we understand the ideas upon which our civilization was built so that we can protect them when they're under threat of being undermined as they are today.

We also need to pass this understanding onto our children, so they are not easily swayed by the high falutin rhetoric that robs us of our civil liberties under the guise of equality. Kreeft's book will correct the errors in understanding that brought us to where we are today.

7. Glow Kids by Nicholas Kardaras, Ph.D.

A ground-breaking book that exposes the technology industry for what it is, and the harm it's inflicting on our children during their most vulnerable years. Protect your child by reading this book and passing it on to your friends to read. We need a no-tech revolution, at least no tech in the lives of children. 

8. How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren

The title seems like an oxymoron, but it's not. The authors acknowledge our ability to read but also our failure to read with deep understanding. We were never taught the skill of reading beyond a rudimentary level, and this is the gap How to Read a Book attempts to fill. 

They will show you how to tackle a book in a way that will make it your own. Especially if you plan on homeschooling, you want to learn this skill so you can teach it to your children when they get older. 

9. Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto

Dumbing Us Down was Gatto's landmark book when he first entered the world of non-schooling education. He writes an easy-to-read book about the problems with modern education and why you should consider alternatives to a "school-like" training for your child.

Whether you do or not, you should understand the system so you can help your child navigate it if you decide to put him or her into school.

10. The Leipzig Connection by Paolo Lionni

How modern psychology removed the soul from the study of psychology and then coupled that soul-less subject with the department of modern education and the subsequent impact it has had on children's education. An important read!

Some of these books are inexpensive, some are more expensive, but they are all worth reading.

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Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

What Do Banana and Honey Sandwiches Have to Do with Literacy?

Neil Postman made an argument in 1982 that childhood was disappearing because multi-media erased the boundary between what adults knew and what children knew.

In the same vein, he warned us, so is adulthood disappearing.

A pathetic statistic is that adult television shows cater to the mentality of a twelve-year-old child, according to Postman, who wrote the prescient book, The Disappearance of Childhood.

Isn’t that mortifying?!

The literate world of adults was the boundary that separated children from adults. With everyone plugged into the same immature television shows, and few people reading today, that boundary is disappearing.

Childhood / adulthood aren’t the only things at risk of becoming obsolete. We call ourselves a literate society, but are we, really?

When we declared ourselves a literate country, there was no television and, if you could read, you read at more sophisticated levels because it was pre-dumbed-down America.

This is no longer true. Writers who write for the average public intentionally use less vocabulary and shorter sentences to meet the demands of a populace of poor readers.

Yet, if we understand the mechanics of reading and writing at a basic level, we’re classified as literate even if we can’t do either well.

Someone who can barely run around the block, however, can hardly be called a runner. Someone who can barely hit the ball over the net can hardly be called a tennis player, someone who knows how to make a hotdog can hardly be called a cook.

We aren’t labeled a runner, a tennis player, or a cook until we can perform at an intermediate level, at least. Until then, we’re learning how to do said skill.

Out of curiosity, I looked up UNESCO's definition of literacy. Not surprisingly, the definition changed around the time institutionalized schooling took root.

UNESCO used to define literacy as an ability to read and write (presumably well) to the following mumbo jumbo:

Literacy is the ability to identify, understand, interpret, create, communicate and compute, using printed and written materials associated with varying contexts. Literacy involves a continuum of learning in enabling individuals to achieve their goals, to develop their knowledge and potential, and to participate fully in their community and wider society (UNESCO, 2004; 2017).

“You can teach children to hate reading, to do it poorly, and to hate themselves for not measuring up to the false premises of institutional reading practices–premises which provide the foundation of our multi-billion dollar reading industry.”

— John Taylor Gatto - The Exhausted School

If we redefine literacy to include only those people who were proficient readers, and by proficient reader I mean someone who could read, discuss and write about a piece of work such as The Federalists Papers or The Iliad, we'd have to conclude that we're mostly an illiterate society.

Before you decide my suggestion is literacy ad absurdum, consider this: 

Our standards for literacy are so low that if an adult can read a simple newspaper article and underline what the swimmer ate, we classify him as literate.

Lest you think I'm being facetious, here's a question, taken from a newspaper article, that was on the National Adult Literacy Test: 

Q. Underline the sentence that tells what Ms. Chanin ate during the swim.

A. A spokesman for the swimmer, Roy Brunett, said Chanin had kept up her strength with "banana and honey sandwiches, hot chocolate, lots of water and granola bars."

As long as someone can make out the spelling of banana, which is not difficult to do, he can figure out that this is the correct sentence to underline.

But is this the right approach? Shouldn’t we raise the standards, so we educate our children to become adults who can tackle difficult reading material?

You probably have school-age children whose education you’re concerned about. These are the years when you want to put a lot of effort into training your children's minds.

You can train them to run intellectual circles around the rest of us, or you can train them to underline what a swimmer ate; the choice is yours.

Let me offer you a hand by sharing a few strategies you can use to keep the door of knowledge open for your children:

Make It Easy

With any bad habit we try to break, the first step is to get rid of the obstacles keeping us from adopting the new habit. In this case, we should start with our screens.

A movie on the weekends for older children is plenty, if they ask. Other than that, keep the screens tucked away someplace. 

To take this step requires an understanding that if you want more for your child, if you want him to rise above the less-than-mediocre standards today, then you will need to make some sacrifices. 

Let me ask you a question: do you have a television in your living room so you can watch the news every evening?

For many of us, keeping screens hidden is a burden because they're so much a part of our lives now. We depend upon them for many things such as answers to quick questions, the latest news, and frying our brains.

Speaking of frying our brains, the other day I went to a piano recital where my son was performing. The recitals are usually in a church, and so there's an unspoken understanding that it isn't a place for chitchat or smartphones. But this last recital was in the Steinway piano store.

We got there just before it started, so we had no choice but to sit in the back. It turned out that the back of the room was where all the parenting smartphone addicts sat. My God, the number of mothers glued to their phones was astounding.

The only time they looked up was when their own child performed. 

They have no idea what they missed.

Anyhow books (nor piano recitals) can successfully compete with screen time. It's a known fact which anyone can easily test without leaving home. 

Find Inspiring Friends

Find like-minded families to raise your children with; people who will support your values and your high standards rather than undermine them. (And be that family for someone else.)

Company matters.

If you can't find like-minded families, start talking about your concerns until someone will listen, but don't give up. Someone will eventually listen and be brave enough to do what Neil Postman advises us to do, go against the culture.

“There are parents who are committed to doing all of these things [no screens], who are in effect defying the directives of their cultures. Such parents are not only helping their children to have a childhood but are, at the same time, creating a sort of intellectual elite. ”

— Neil Postman

If our culture is producing mediocrity, then we can't do what everyone else is doing. We have to muster up the courage to go against the grain of society.

To become a truly rebellious spirit, line your walls with good books and start reading everyday to your children. If you aren't a reader yourself, have faith that you can become one.

Many people who weren’t formerly good readers chose to become good readers in adulthood, but it takes determination and perseverance. 

You can do it. I know people who have.

Everything is in a state of flux; you are either flexing the noodle between your ears and making it stronger, or you aren't. 

Create a culture of wonder and learning in your home. Have intelligent discussions with your children about the great ideas, history, science, literature, philosophy, and so forth.

Raising and educating children today takes a lot of work; it always did. We're used to delegating the task to the government with the consequence of getting a child who is not all that he or she could be. 

Mediocre is not the same as excellent or, for that matter, even very good.

The brain is a phenomenal organ, and it grows with the right kind of stimulation. It houses the mind like the body houses the soul.

Let it be a great mind.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

Raise a Smarter Kid with This Simple Practice

The Practice

A strong memory is the foundation of high intelligence. Having young children to memorize rhymes and poetry is an excellent way to develop their memories and their intellects.

Once they are in the formal years of instruction, you can have them memorize wise maxims and worthy passages from different books too. 

Children who are raised with the habit of doing memory work will become accustomed to it, and not shy away from it when they're older. Young children particularly love to memorize anything, so this is the prime time to do memory work with them.

“Let us not then lose even the earliest period of life, and so much the less, as the elements of learning depend on the memory alone, which not only exists in children, but is at that time of life even most tenacious.”

— Marcus Fabius Quintilianus

They won't see it as a difficult task or an impossible task like children do today, but they'll tackle it with determination, and they'll succeed which will have the added effect of building their confidence.

A Declining Skill

A useful skill that memorization teaches us is the ability to focus. In an age of constant distraction, focusing on anything for more than a second is under siege. 

There is no quicker way to lay waste to our memories than by distraction. If we aren't present in our actions and our thoughts, we shall fail to store them in our minds. This is true for our children too.

As mothers, we tend to set a bad example for our children on this point. It happens when we have young children demanding our attention while we're trying to focus on something else.

We get pulled into too many directions, which is why you often hear women complain of a declining memory after they have children. 

(Protecting your memory is another good reason to raise your children to figure things out for themselves, and thereby reduce the number of times you're interrupted during the day.)

We want to protect our children from having weak memories by starting them with memory work even before they begin grade school. Around age four would be a good time to start.

A Happy Spirit

Keep it light and fun though–you never want to put undue pressure on a child’s budding heart.

Read rhymes over and over again, and your children will memorize them without effort. Read age-appropriate poetry to your children and have them learn short stanzas by heart.

When you go to the grocery store, introduce a memory game. Have your children memorize the shopping list. You can learn it, too, and then see who remembers most of the items on the list. 

Children love this game especially since they usually win!

Learn by Heart

Memory work, or learning by heart, as it was once called, was a vital component of the Ancient Greek and Roman education. The Greeks and Romans had sophisticated memory tools to facilitate the learning by heart of epic poems.

For example, every school child in Ancient Greece would learn The Iliad and The Odyssey by heart. 

When children learn things by heart, it also helps to form their characters and their world views, which is precisely why the Greeks had their children learn epic poems about their heroes by heart.

“Learning by heart’, which speaks to the soul, has been replaced by ‘rote-learning’ and ‘learning by rote’, which are disparaging and off-putting terms that have the effect of making memorizing into a matter of using the brain as a piece of machinery.”

— Mr. Gwynne

Today, we don't have children learn anything by heart in school anymore. Not only this, but we use the term “rote” memorization and speak condescendingly of it.

Did you learn anything by heart? I never did. 

The Memory Disadvantage

Yet, the memory is a crucial component of our intelligence. People who have weaker memories are at an intellectual disadvantage over those who have strong memories.

Why would we raise our children to be at a disadvantage when they're natural inclination is to develop their memories? 

It's like preventing a child from learning to walk. Why would we physically handicap them? We wouldn’t, nor should we handicap them intellectually by failing to train their memories.

It's our job as parents and teachers to provide our children with memory work, yet, we overlook this vital element to education because "rote" memorizing is not an effective way to teach.

Rote memory work, as Mr. Gwynne points out, is not the proper term anyway. Learning by heart is a much more humane way to look at an easy method of training your child's mind to do great things. 

In our misguided efforts to spare our children the boredom of memory work, are we not dumbing them down?

Have you got your free copy of How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader? It comes with an 80+ book list of carefully chosen books to support your child’s intellectual development.

Join Elizabeth’s signature parenting course: Raise Your Child Well to live a life he loves.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

A Simple Home Adjustment to Nurture Lifelong Sibling Friendships

We have happiness down to a science now: a fulfilling marriage, a tight-knit family, supportive friends, and meaningful work. 

(A tall order, possibly?) 

There is one element, though, that's more vital than the others; it's the element of a loving family. 

You may not have the most dynamic marriage in the world, you may not have the most fulfilling work, you may not even have a lot of supportive friends, but if you've got a solid family, you have a haven of people you love and who love you and who's company brings you comfort.

“The strength of family isn’t determined by the number of members, but rather by the amount of love given and received.”

— Anonymous

And that’s a lot. 

But what makes for a loving family? Many things do but the vital component we tend to overlook fostering is closeness. The siblings in solid families tend to be close to one another.

One of the ways you can foster closeness amongst siblings is by having them share a bedroom. 

When did this idea that every child needed a separate room creep into our society? We used to build smaller homes and larger yards and have more closely-knit families.

The children shared bedrooms, and they had a lot of space outside for play and exploration.

Now we build bigger homes with miniature yards, and each child is tucked away into his private bedroom. 

6 Advantages to Shared Bedrooms

Sharing a bedroom with a sibling provides a child with many advantages including a closeness you won't get living down the hall from one another. 

1) Sharing a bedroom teaches a child to be considerate. 

Unless he wants to battle constantly with his sibling, a child quickly learns to keep his things where they belong and to respect another persons' space. 

2) Sharing a bedroom fosters the habit of sharing

Children share bedrooms, so sharing is a daily event in their lives. They learn to share a small space, and they figure out how they have to behave to get along with one another in this little space. 

After all, someday they will grow up and either be a co-worker, a roommate, or a spouse, all of which require learning to share close-quarters peacefully.

3) Night time chats build closeness

“We didn’t realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun. ”

— Winnie the Pooh

Kids will stay up at night chatting after the lights are out.

After hours conversations are crucial bonding time when kids discuss things that happened during the day, or maybe they talk about things they'll do tomorrow, or they confidentially share their dreams for the future. 

If you're worried that your children won't get enough sleep, and if you know they are going to chat after hours (while pretending you are unawares), you might consider putting them to bed a half an hour earlier rather than battle with them to be quiet at night. 

4) Negotiating the problems

Sometimes they even fight in their bedroom, and they learn how to resolve their squabbles without parental intervention. Unsupervised disagreements teach them the art of negotiation, which is a vital skill to acquire. Life is a series of negotiations. 

5) Developing independent spirits

 Bedroom time is their private time away from the supervision of the adults where siblings can discuss and do anything they want, within reason. It fosters a sense of independence which is important for a life well lived.

6) The Boogey Man

Some children feel uncomfortable at night and may even wake up in the middle of the night, but having a sibling in the room quiets this discomfort and makes them feel safe.

It's a funny phenomenon that having someone else in the room makes us feel safe even if the person is too young or too old to protect us. It's not any different for a child. 

A Family of Best Friends

Recently, I went to the wedding of a young woman I've known since she was a child. Each of her sisters spoke at her wedding. They each spoke about different things, but there was a common theme.

The theme was one of friendship. Each of the girls referred to her sisters as her "best" friends. 

“Friends come and go, but brothers (sisters) are forever.”

— Anonymous

They were from a low-income family who could only afford a two-bedroom apartment. One room was for the parents, and the other room was for the three girls. 

The girls spoke about how they stayed up after the lights went out chatting about everything from what they would wear the next day to who they would marry when they grew up.

Would they have been as close if they'd grown up in a 4000 Sq ft house, and each girl had a separate bedroom?

I would bet my life that they would not. 

With the breakdown of family bonds today, you want to do everything you can to ensure your children are close friends. Having them share a bedroom is one way to accomplish this. 

People want bigger and bigger houses today, but smaller homes are where the stronger bonds are built. 

Have you got your free copy of How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader? It comes with an 80+ book list of carefully chosen books to support your child’s intellectual development.

Join Elizabeth’s signature parenting course: Raise Your Child Well to live a life he loves.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Teach Your Children to Cook!

In each home, around in the world, there is nothing more comforting than the smell of delightful aromas coming from the kitchen.

Yet, so many girls and boys are coming of age and do not know how to cook. What's more, young women seem to see it as a sign of their liberation. 

Being dependent upon other people for food is not a sign of liberation; it's a sign that you don't know how to do something as fundamental as providing a home-cooked meal for yourself, nor for anyone else. 

“If you are a chef, no matter how good a chef you are, it’s not good cooking for yourself; the joy is in cooking for others - it’s the same with music.”

— will.i.am

The irony is that children love to cook. Why are they coming-of-age bereft of this skill? Let's not dwell on the reasons here, but let's work quickly to fix the problem.

7 Easy Steps to Teach Your Child how to Cook

Step 1) Correct the Problem

It begins with you. If you're a mother who is not providing nourishing meals for her family, you must first learn to correct this.

(The variables of family are too numerous today to keep up with, hence, we'll take the less-complicated version: mom cooks and dad brings home the bread.)

YouTube is full of chefs dying to teach you how to cook. By studying two or three of their recipes, you will completely change the environment in your home and be cooking 5-star meals before you know it. 

Now that your children have a role model to emulate, you can begin to teach little John and little Mary how to cook a meal or two.

Step 2) First Teach Them Only What Their Hands Can Do

In the beginning, you'll have them do things like shell peas and tear up lettuce for the salad. Before they are old enough to be responsible with a knife, you'll have them do any task that doesn't involve sharp items.

Step 3) Peeling Progression

Around the age of six, you can show them how to peel potatoes, carrots, cucumbers, and anything else you can think of. Let the peeling of anything become their domain. 

By the way, these are not chores. Helping to prepare the food should be seen as fun time in the kitchen with mom (which means that you should NEVER complain about having to make dinner).

Step 4) Salad’s On

By the age of seven or eight, if not sooner, they should be able to prepare a salad on their own. Give your children the task of making the salad once or twice a week, or more often if you prefer. 

Step 5) Carbs Galore

Next come the preparation and cooking of the rice and potatoes. This next step involves the stovetop, so they have to be old enough to handle a flame. If you have a gas top, the pressing concern here is that they are responsible and focused enough to remember to turn the flame all the way off. 

If not, you should supervise them until they are. In the meantime, show your children how to rinse the rice. Next, show them how to measure the water, bring the rice to a boil, cover and let simmer for 20 minutes. There are tricks to making a perfect bowl of rice, so if you know these tricks (I don't), then be sure to include them. 

Next, they can learn to make mashed potatoes. They peel, wash, and boil the potatoes. Drain the potatoes (you may have to help here, because the pan may be too heavy for them), add butter and milk and mash. If you don't like mashing potatoes, the good news is that children love it. You will never have to mash potatoes again.

Step 6) The Big Fish

Next, show them how to prepare the main dish. I recommend beginning with fish, which is less complicated to prepare. Show John and Jane how to wash the fish, put it in a baking dish, make the sauce, pour it over the fish, and cook it. 

Step 7) Early Graduation

Once they complete all three of these steps successfully, you are now ready to grant your children the privilege of cooking an entire meal. They should be around nine or ten by this time (could be sooner!).

You now get to sit back, enjoy a cup of tea and some conversation with your spouse, and wait for what will soon be a delicious meal.

Moving forward, let your children take over the kitchen at least one night during the week to learn how to master the art of cooking and to give yourself a break. 

“A chef’s palate is born out of his childhood, and one thing all chefs have in common is a mother who can cook.”

— Marco Pierre White

By the time your children are 11 and 13, they should be able to handle an entire Thanksgiving dinner for ten people all by themselves. 

I only know this because when my children were these ages, I was recovering from the flu and not up to cooking our annual Thanksgiving dinner. 

I was lying in bed the day before Thanksgiving, and, while not contagious anymore, I was still exhausted. My intention was to call my guests that morning and let them know that I  wouldn't be able to host the Thanksgiving dinner that year.

My daughter came in quietly and said in a low voice, Mom, do you think I could make the Thanksgiving dinner, so we don't have to cancel our party?"

"Do you think you can handle it?" I ask, quite frankly, incredulously. 

"Yes," I'm sure I can."

"Then I think it's a fabulous idea!"

“Always remember: If you’re alone in the kitchen and you drop the lamb, you can always just pick it up. Who’s going to know?”

— Julia Child

Truthfully, and I'm not the kind of mother who exaggerates her children's accomplishments, but it was one of the best Thanksgiving dinners ever. 

The other point to mention is that, at their ages, it would never have occurred to me that they could handle a meal of this magnitude. 

Homeschooled kids, I have found, are like this. Nothing is ever too big to tackle. By the time they reach the teens, if homeschooled well, they will know how to teach themselves just about anything one can learn, within reason. 

One warning, though: while your children are capable of cooking a full meal long before they will be ready to move out, you don't want to give up your place in the kitchen for more than one or two nights a week. 

There will never be anything as comforting as "mom" in the kitchen, whipping up a fabulous meal. No one can fill the shoes of your child's mother, ever. 

They're your shoes to walk in; enjoy the journey.

Don’t miss your copy of:  Top Ten YouTube Cooking Channels. With the download, you’ll also get a link to a great film about a famous chef that’s guaranteed to inspire you.

Join Elizabeth’s signature parenting course: Raise Your Child Well to live a life he loves.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

I Want to Sing Like the Birds

Happy New Year!

I love the New Year because it’s a time of hope and renewal. It’s also a perfect time to take stock of how we’re showing up in our families and make adjustments where necessary.

We only get one chance to build a functional family. We want to do the best job we can do, so our hard work and efforts bring us joy and satisfaction rather than hardship and disappointment.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Here are four aspects of building a functional family that are helpful to reflect on and see where we might need to improve a little.

Domestic Duties

Is your home chaotic? Do you waste time trying to find things that never seem to be where they belong? Are your kids waking up at odd hours and sleeping at odd hours? Do mealtimes consist of scrambling to find something to cook at the last minute?

Are your kids struggling to get your attention because you’re glued to your phone more times than not?

Parenting Duties

Do days go by when you realize you haven’t had time to stop and read to your children? Are your children demanding and bossy? Are they indoors complaining of boredom too often? Are they glued to the tube? Are you struggling to find time to take them out into nature or even to the park?

Marriage Duties

Do you sometimes feel like life revolves around your children, and there’s no time for anything else? Are you and your spouse growing more distant from one another because everything else screams so much louder for your time and attention?

Self-Care

Do you feel overwhelmed, overworked, and under-appreciated?

Does your life feel like you’re on a treadmill, and you find yourself daydreaming of escaping to some faraway place? No matter how hard you try, does it seem like you never manage to find a moment to take a quiet break?

Whether you said yes or no to any of the above, we all have plenty of room for improvement. This is a good time of the year to take stock of the past year,  refocus, and put a plan in place to create more harmony in your family life for 2020. 

Raising children shouldn’t exhaust you and leave you with little time for anything else. If you have children under three, maybe, but as the children get older, your workload should lighten.

You aren’t trying to have a perfect family, but you do want to have some balance in your life when you’re raising children. There is work involved, and sometimes there are struggles too, but the rewards should outweigh the difficulties.

An old friend of mine once said to me, “Life is difficult, but it should be enjoyed.” 

Amidst all of the difficulties in life, all the things that don’t work out the way we thought they would, all the disappointments that come with being human; there is something sublime, something majestic, something divine about being alive that we want to help our children embrace.

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

— Confucius

Each day brings new wonder and joy, whether we have the presence of mind to notice or not. 

Today is a great day for us to make some New Year’s resolutions that will help us experience more of the beauty in life and less of the overwhelm. Rumi understood this when he said:

“I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.”

— Rumi

It’s a fact that putting New Year’s resolutions down on paper is a useful exercise to help us live lives that are in harmony with the kind of person we want to be and better reflect the kind of life we want to live.

Some people think it’s silly, but just writing your intention down makes you more likely to reach your goals and aspirations. If you have an accountability friend, that spikes your chances even higher. 

The New Year’s resolution tradition now has some research to back it up and silence the naysayers amongst us, which means that, if you haven’t already, you should grab some paper and start writing.

Happy New Year!

Don’t miss our free download, Do Your Parenting Strategies Need Tweaking?

Join Elizabeth’s signature parenting course: Raise Your Child Well to live a life he loves.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

My Dad Is a B***head

You may be shocked by this title. Truthfully, it shocks me. The good news is that it isn't mine. The bad news is that it's the title of a book published in 2014. A father wrote the book for his son. 

On the book's dedication page, you find it dedicated to said author's adoring family.

B***head. 

I can think of some lessons I'd like to teach young children, but that their father is a b***head is not one of them. 

“Parent’s should treat their children as neither equals nor fools.”

— John Rosemond

THE MORAL

The moral of this father's story is that no matter how rude your child is to you, no matter how disrespectful he is towards you, he loves you. 

That's the moral as far as I could make out. But truthfully, I'm not even sure there was a moral to the story.

So why am I devoting time to this book?

Unlike some parents, you probably have enough sense not to pick up a copy of such a vulgar book to read to your child. However, you may not be exactly sure about what does constitute a good book. 

It's not your fault, either. Our great books for children have been replaced by silly books that give children the wrong ideas or books that don’t have much substance.

WHAT YOU READ DOES MATTER

While it's vitally important to your child's future education that you read to him when he's young, the quality of the material you read is equally important.

Elevate His Mind

Literature should elevate a child's mind, not debase it. He (she) should encounter heroes and heroines that are worthy of emulation. 

The characters should be intelligent, kind-hearted, brave, and well-mannered. Think of Pollyanna, Anne of Green Gables, and Little Lord Fauntleroy. 

Teach Language Skills

Literature should teach children excellent language skills and develop their vocabulary. As an older child, when he comes across words such as philanthropists, humiliation, valiant, nautical, or grave, he'll already be familiar with them. 

Test your ten-year-old now. Is your child familiar with these words? If not, you may want to reevaluate the kind of literature you're exposing him to.

Respect

Furthermore, of utmost importance is the attitude the story’s characters have towards adults and especially towards their parents. They should possess an attitude of reverence, respect, and obedience. 

Any child's book that features ill-mannered, vulgar children as the hero or heroine should not be allowed. 

(A word of caution though: if your children are reading sub-standard literature, then be clever in how you forbid these sorts of books. Better to let the books secretly disappear as you replace them with quality literature than to make an issue of it.) 

THE UNDERLYING CONCERN

The bigger problem with the B***head story is that it father wrote it for his son. I would guess, from reading the book, that his son is spoiled and ill-mannered.

If the father doesn't have enough common sense to realize that he should not have written this book, he cannot possibly understand what's required of him to raise a decent child. 

“To raise respectful children, you must be a good leader.”

— John Rosemond

This is the plight many parents find themselves in today. We want to raise an exemplary child, but we have no idea how to go about it,  so we write books that are a better fit for the garbage can than our children’s ears.

We need to get a handle on what makes a decent person, of what makes a happy person, of what makes a successful person, and then we need to do our best to provide a suitable environment for our child to become this person.

Reading good literature to your child is a prudent place to start. 

It's simply a matter of choosing the right books to read. 

 Are you wondering what kind of books you should read to your children? Get your free list of Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Don’t miss Elizabeth Y. Hanson’s signature course, The Smart Homeschooler Academy: How to Give Your Child a Better Education at Home.

A veteran homeschooler, she now has two successfully-homeschooled children in college.