10 Resources to Convince Your Spouse (or anyone) About the Merits of Homeschooling →

All hope is not lost. There are things you can do, and I’m going to share those with you shortly. But first, it’s important to understand why a spouse (or anyone) might resist the idea of homeschooling.

Usually, a spouse doesn't agree with homeschooling because they don’t understand what John Taylor Gatto would refer to as "the dangers of public school."

“It is time that we squarely face the fact that institutional schoolteaching is destructive to children.”

— John Taylor Gatto

If your husband’s mind is already set against homeschooling, you have to approach the situation very gingerly. You cannot push your views on someone, least of all your husband.  

But you can start the conversation by asking him this question: "Tell me what your goals are when you think of the education of our children?" And then follow up with this question: "What would it take for you to feel comfortable about homeschooling our children?" 

You have now opened the channels for him to let you know his goals and concerns in a non-threatening way. Listen carefully and understand that he wants what is best for his children as you do.

He is not coming from a place of belligerence but of genuine concern. 

Your husband will probably bring up objections such as he's concerned they won't get what they need academically, which will hurt their chances of getting into a good college.

He may say that he's worried about the socialization factor and that he doesn't want his kids to grow up to be social misfits. He might say that you aren't an accredited teacher and therefore not qualified to teach your own children.

Maybe he doesn't know any homeschoolers, and the idea sounds too fantastic to him?

He also might express concern for character development and key qualities he wants his kids to have such as creativity, integrity, moral values, resilience, and discipline (all of which the kids will most likely not get in school).

“School is a twelve-year jail sentence where bad habits are the only curriculum truly learned. I teach school and win awards doing it. I should know.”

— John Taylor Gatto

Whatever his objections are, you want to take note and ask him if he would be open to watching some videos on the subject, looking at some research, or even reading some books together?

If you keep the conversation non-threatening and show a genuine interest in his views and concerns, most reasonable husbands will oblige their wives. 

Now, this is the tricky part because you will need to provide him with information that is sound and to the point. I'm going to share some resources that should help you educate your husband (or anyone) about the unparalleled benefits of homeschooling and the many problems with public school. 

Grab your free resource here: 10 Resources to Convince Anyone About the Merits of Homeschooling.

This resource is also helpful if you have family members or friends who are strongly opposed to homeschooling.

Some points to remember:

Be careful about taking the attitude of proving your spouse wrong. No one likes to be proven wrong, and trying to show your spouse that you were right will not help your cause. Instead, you want to humble yourself and be gentle in the way you handle the situation.

Go slowly.

When someone has a fixed opinion, it’s prudent to allow time for that person to shift into a new mindset. Start early by educating your spouse when your children are young, and by the time they are ready to go to school, hopefully, you'll both be excited about homeschooling! 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler to raise smart, ethical, and critically-thinking children. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully as well as live ongoing support from Elizabeth.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Send Your Kids Outside and Lock the Doors!

Children staying indoors and not knowing what to do with themselves is a new phenomenon. It's new because parents no longer establish expectations of their children based on what children and adults need.

What do adults need? They need peace and quiet and time away from their children, so they can get their daily tasks done and take a break now and then.

It's a perfectly reasonable need.

What do children need? Children need to learn how to entertain themselves outdoors, rain or shine, without adult supervision. They need fresh air and sunshine too.

“Why do so many Americans say they want their children to watch less TV, yet continue to expand the opportunities for them to watch it? ”

— Richard Louv

If your children are inside giving you a hard time, why don't you send them outside? They'll survive. Tell them to get dressed and go outside until you call them back indoors. 

If they insist on coming back in without permission, then lock the doors so they can't return until you say they can.

The first week will be hellish. Your children may whine, cry, wail, and God knows what else. But soon they'll start to play. They'll invent games on their own, they'll climb trees, they'll make mud pies, and they'll do all sorts of things they wouldn't do if you let them stay indoors.

You'll call them in at the regular hour, and they'll want to continue playing.

It sounds divine, doesn't it?

It's called having a normal childhood. Living outdoors in their free time is what children have always done. The indoor obsession with technology and the lazy behavior that follows is unhealthy and abnormal. 

It's against everything that childhood stands for: adventure, joy, laughter, exploration, fun, learning, socializing, and so forth.

As your children use their imaginations to figure out what to do with their time, they're learning how to become resourceful too. 

One of my favorite things is to go into my kitchen, find absolutely nothing to cook and invent a new meal that I've never made before. It's not my favorite thing to do, really. But I do love it when my children think they will have nothing good to eat for dinner, and then they come to the table with disbelief.

"Where did you get this?" said they. 

"In the cupboard, said I."

"But there was nothing to eat," said they.

"You didn't look hard enough, said I."

I learned how to be a resourceful cook when I was a young woman, because there was a time whenI was living overseas and money wasn't plentiful. The cupboards often seemed bare, so I had to learn how to make something out of nothing.

Your children need to learn how to be resourceful because there will be times in life when all the doors shut for them. It happens to all of us and some of us more than others.

If they don't know how to figure a way out of a difficult situation, they'll be lost and do less well in life than your children would had they known how.

Learning to become resourceful happens when you have nothing, or you think you have nothing. You have to wrack your brains to figure out how to make something out of nothing. 

“There’s nothing to do; I’m so bored.”

— Discontent Child

Like when you put your children outdoors with nothing but some water and a snack. At first, they won't know what to do with themselves. That's when the moaning and groaning will set in. They'll call you a mean mother and all sorts of awful things.

You'll be inside warm and cozy, and you'll feel guilty as can be. But don't. What you're doing for them is in their best interest.

Once they realize you mean business, they'll begin to find things to do outdoors. And this is one way they will learn how to become resourceful and to engage in life.

Another option would be to set a kitchen timer outdoors. You can give your children a trial run by setting the timer for 20 minutes. When it goes off, they can come inside. You will slowly work your way up to two hours per day. 

At some point, you won't even need it anymore because they'll be having so much fun. 

This plan of ours will work much better if you get rid of the technology in the home. By the way, it's a given they are not allowed to take any technology outdoors, right?!

“The woods were my Ritalin. Nature calmed me, focused me, and yet excited my senses.”

— Richard Louv

Unplug them inside, and they'll play a lot better outside. Keep them plugged in, and you'll have whiney kids forever. Technology interferes with your child's ability to learn how to entertain himself, which is why you want to get it out of your children's sight. 

Again, the first two weeks will be difficult for everyone. The children are going to be angry and fed-up. You have to maintain your cool. Act like you don't notice.

Don't engage in conversations about it, or you'll end up arguing with them. It undermines your authority when you engage in arguments with your children; you don't want to go there.

Lastly, once you get past the two-week point, you should find life has suddenly become very blissful. Your children will know how to occupy themselves indoors and outdoors, and you'll have some peace and quiet in your home.

Grab a cup of tea and enjoy it. No guilt allowed. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler to raise smart, ethical, and critically-thinking children. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully as well as live ongoing support from Elizabeth.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Increase Your Child's Intelligence by Doing This One Thing

The more your child actively uses his mind when he's young, and the more he continues to use his mind as he matures, the smarter he'll become.

We know that the brain is an ever-changing organ. It can weaken from misuse or neglect, but it can also grow stronger from the right kind of use.

You want your children to stay into the habit of using their minds as they enter the school years. One of the ways you can help your child strengthen his mind, and thereby increase his intelligence, is by providing him with good literature to read.

“John Taylor Gatto had his sixth-grade class read and discuss Moby Dick by Herman Melville. ”

As John Taylor Gatto once said, "Teach your children to grow up to be readers of more than the daily newspaper."

You will hear parents say things like, "Well, my child only reads comic books but at least he's reading!"

Comic books are fine for comic relief on occasion. If your family is on a road trip or flying cross-country, this might be a fair time to occupy your child with a few comic books.

It’s probably prudent though to NOT let comic books work their way into your home.

Comic books, as well as substandard literature, will make your child’s mind lazy because the dialogues are simple and too many pictures tell the story. When reading is made so easy for a child, he isn’t able to improve his skill of reading.

When it becomes time to read challenging literature with few or no pictures, he won't be able to tackle the vocabulary or follow the longer and more complicated sentence patterns. Nor will he have any pictures to help him along.

And then he'll complain to you that the book is "boring."

The book is not the problem; your child has not developed the skill required to read more difficult and challenging books.

Great books expand the mind and help us to understand the complexities of life and of ourselves.

If we replaced the department of psychology with a department of Shakespeare, we’d be less medicated and probably much happier too, because we’d have a better understanding of how to live our lives.

The inner workings of the mind and heart are there in his plays as is the secret to a life well-lived.

Once you get used to the language, Shakespeare is no more difficult to read than authors such as Tolstoy or Dostoevsky.

The ability to read great literature is what you want for your children. If you are raising children in the West, you want them to be exposed to the great ideas of Western thought upon which our civilization is built.

John Taylor Gatto was very in support of reading the great books. It's where he got the seeds for many of his own ideas.

I said there was one thing you need to do to increase your child's intelligence, but as I am writing this, another occurred to me, so let me share it with you now.

Homeschool your children because your children won't get the kind of education they need in public or private schools.

“Dumbing us down,” as John Taylor Gatto put it.

A lousy education system produces people who lack the kind of mind it takes to read the great books; people who are content to be frivolously entertained while going through the precious journey of life without meaning or purpose.

Emily Dickinson summed up the joy of reading in one of her poems:

There is no frigate like a book

To take us lands away,

Nor any coursers like a page

Of prancing poetry.

This traverse may the poorest take

Without oppress of toll;

How frugal is the chariot

That bears a human soul!

Have your children memorize Emily Dickinson's poem, and supply them with the kind of books that take them lands away.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler to raise smart, ethical, and critically-thinking children. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully as well as live ongoing support from Elizabeth.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

5 Reasons Why You Should Seriously Consider Homeschooling

For many of us, taking on the job of homeschooling requires a lot of sacrifice. Some of us give up jobs and careers we love, and all of us give up much of our free time.

However, if we realized the impact of homeschooling on our family, our society, and potentially the world, would it seem like a sacrifice?

Not at all.

What might seem like a sacrifice at first will become the door to a better, happier life for your family and will ultimately impact society and the world for all the reasons that parents choose to homeschool.

Let’s consider five of these reasons:

Quality of Education

Homeschoolers are usually in agreement that we want our children to have an excellent education, and we know it's not going to happen in public school.

Not the kind of education we envision anyhow.

Reading competently, writing skillfully, and speaking eloquently are skills competent homeschoolers want to make sure their children develop because these skills are the cornerstone of a sound education.

With them, the child will grow up to have powerful a voice in a world where few read, few write, and few speak eloquently.

“Who can take the measure of a child? The Genie of the Arabian tale is nothing to him. He, too, may be let out of his bottle and fill the world. But woe to us if we keep him corked up.”

— Charlotte Mason

Enjoy Reading

We want our children to not only read well, but to enjoy reading. To choose a book to read over a movie to watch is our ideal. Not that our children never watch movies, but lying in bed with a good book is something they look forward to.

We want our children to be well read and to read books that are worth reading. In 21st century schools, children are required to read books that kids should not have to read such as the Andy Griffith series and books with immoral themes; books that 60 years ago no publisher in their right mind would have ever published.

Curious Until the End

That our children remain curious and become life-long learners in pursuit of knowledge is a concern most homeschoolers share. With studies showing that by first grade a child's innate thirst for knowledge of his world begins to wane, homeschoolers want to fiercely protect their child's curiosity.

Curiosity is inherent to man. Babies come into the world curious but we need environments for our children that nurture their curiosity. Homeschooling provides this environment; public and most private schools do not.

Not a single famous writer, inventor, philosopher, mathematician, scientist, or historian would have become famous had they not been curious. Curiosity is what propels us to keep learning and discovering which makes our lives exciting and colorful and challenging.

A curiosity without which true greatness is difficult to achieve.

Homeschoolers want their children to enjoy learning for the sake of learning, not for rewards or test scores.

The Sorting Factor

Homeschoolers don't want their children subjected to arbitrary tests that serve to sort and rank them amongst their peers.

“The lesson of report cards, grades and tests is that children should not trust themselves or their parents but should instead rely on the evaluation of certified officials. People need to be told what they are worth.”

— John Taylor Gatto

Instead, they want their children to know that with hard work and perseverance most things are possible, and that test scores are no indication of a person's ultimate worth.

Integrity Means “Whole”

With the loss of a good environment and character training in schools, homeschoolers want to protect the integrity of their children. We want to raise them in an environment that elevates our children to be their best version of themselves, not an environment that chips away at their dignity.

When I was in school, the negative influences were outside the classroom, but that's not true anymore. Children are being taught some grossly inappropriate things inside those four walls that make up the school classroom.

It's time.

“It is time we squarely face the fact that institutionalized schoolteaching is destructive to children. ”

— John Taylor Gatto

Family Loyalty

Another thing you'll find is that homeschooling preserves the natural loyalty of a family and homeschooling families tend to be more closely-knit. On the contrary, in public school, children learn to be loyal to their peers, not their family, and certainly not their parents.

Once you develop the loyalty to your peers that public school is notorious for fostering, it's hard to undo. Most of us aren't even aware it's there. It wasn’t until my parents passed away that I realized how deep the parent / child bond was and how dishonored the family bond is in Western society.

Our bond with our parents is the next strongest bond we have in life. The only bond that is stronger than the parent / child bond it is the bond we have with our Creator. The family bond is a powerful bond that’s worth protecting.

“The curriculum of “family” is at the heart of any good life. We’ve gotten away from that curriculum – it’s time to return to it.”

— john taylor gatto

We don't need studies to tell us why homeschooled families are closer-knit. We become close to the people we have shared positive experiences with, and homeschooled families spend a lot of time together, and they have a lot of great experiences together.

In contrast, public-schooled children spend time with peers, and they go home where they have to do hours of homework. There isn't much time left for family bonding.

With the family back at the center of a child’s life, and with family as the basis for a wholesome society, by the mere fact of homeschooling, we will change the world.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler to raise smart, ethical, and critically-thinking children. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully as well as live ongoing support from Elizabeth.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

4 Strategies to Raise Children of Good Character→

Societal influences can make it easier or more difficult to raise a decent child who is well-mannered, respectful, and obedient.

In today’s social and political climate it’s not always that easy, but there are some things you can do to ensure a better outcome for your family.

When our children are young, we want to train them to do the right thing, so they develop the right habits in childhood and learn to make the right choices.

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

— Mark Twain

It begins with little things such as learning to pick up after themselves, doing chores before they play, being considerate of other people's needs, and having good manners.

Role Models

Good role models in a child’s life are essential. If the parents treat each other courteously, if they are respectful to their family and friends, if they are honest and helpful with others, their children are more likely to follow suit.

Discipline

There is also a training through discipline that has to occur, too, as no child is born perfect no matter how good his or her role models may be.

Good parents can produce bad children; there are no guarantees that children turn out well.

You have a higher chance of having them grow up to be good people, however, if you understand how to train them in the ways of respect and obedience. 

Public School

Public school can undo your hard work, though, because rudeness and crudeness are now the norms, and the teachers have very little authority when it comes to correcting a child's behavior. 

Children sent to school for eight hours a day where the teachers are not allowed to discipline them are at a disadvantage.

On the contrary, children who spend their days in a homeschooled environment are with adults who are able to put the time and effort into guiding the kids in the right ways.

In a home or private schools, adults have authority over the children and can discipline them as needed. The right training in childhood is essential to raising a well-mannered, happy child.

Spare the rod, spoil the child, was an old adage that adults used to repeat before the 60's cultural revolution when sound parenting principles were abandoned in favor of unproven, untested theories about how to raise a kid.

Modern Inconveniences

Today, we can add to the problem modern inconveniences such as vulgar films, ribald music, video games, social media, and inappropriate television programs.

Negative influences will unravel any good work you've done to raise your children well, which is why we need to be diligent with the environments we let influence our children.

The Ancient Greeks knew that negative influences in a child's life would help mold their character, and any educator since who has studied the classics or has an ounce of common sense will understand this too.

The rest of society has forgotten it, though, making us negligent in our duty to raise our children according to time-tested principles that work. 

A Dishonest Trend

Ninety-seven percent of schoolchildren are dishonest according to statistics gathered by Vickie Abeles, who produced the documentary, Race to Nowhere.

Even without the statistics, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that we are no longer an honest society. 

My son took a statistics exam online only to receive an email from the teacher the following day, announcing that some of the students had cheated on the exam.

My son said the exam was easy, too, making it an even more pathetic situation. College students cheating on an easy exam?

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

What happened to the concept of hard work and honesty?

Cheating is a habit for many children today.

When the lines between honesty and dishonesty become so blurred that cheating on exams becomes all too common, we have a serious problem. Cheaters are cheaters. Liars are liars. School doesn't end and real life begin to find these students suddenly turn honest again. 

They have become dishonest people. Their characters have formed this way because they are raised in a system that doesn't uphold the values of truth, goodness, and beauty; once so honored in the West.

In a Nutshell

Raise your children well, keep them out of public school, screen multi-media use when they are young (or eliminate it!), avoid inappropriate music, and surround them with natural beauty and good people.

If you do, you'll have accomplished something that is becoming more and more uncommon today; you’ll have raised a decent child.

A child who grows up with the ability to discern truth from falsehood, beauty from ugliness, and good from bad is a child you can be proud to call your own.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler to raise smart, ethical, and critically-thinking children. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully as well as live ongoing support from Elizabeth.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Why I never Reached My Potential and How to Spare Your Kids the Same Fate→

John Taylor Gatto, a renowned educator and best-selling author, said that "schools were dangerous places for children." 

Having been educated through the public school system, I can say with certainty, as I’m sure you can too, that my best years of learning were wasted.

Not only were they wasted, but as a public-school student, I was exposed to all sorts of immoral behaviors and mediocre influences in my life.

It wasn't a great beginning. 

My Twelve-Year Jail Sentence

In my "twelve-year jail sentence," as Gatto likes to call it, I certainly never learned that a "preposition is a word which governs a noun or pronoun and connects it to anything else in the sentence or clause" (definition according to Mr. Gwynne, author of Gwynne's Grammar).

I memorized not a single piece of poetry, nor did I ever learn my own country’s history with any coherency, let alone other histories of the world.

(I did read a lot of classic books, but not in school. My father supplied me with those, and they were my saving grace.)

It would have been helpful to have learned the above subjects during those 12 wasted years and learned other subjects too, which are essential to living a good life.

For example, learning Aristotelean logic when I was young would have given me the ability to see through the kind of propaganda that flies in our faces every day and deceives us to believe in and do things we would not otherwise believe in or do.

“Modern propaganda is a consistent, enduring effort to create or shape events to influence the relations of the public to an enterprise, idea or group.”

— Edward Bernays (founder of modern propaganda and nephew of Sigmund Freud)

Having a better understanding of world history would have taught me that history repeats itself. I would have known back then to look to the past to understand where we have been, where we were then, and where we were headed.

The Six Purposes of Schooling

Fast forward many years later to my discovery of the six purposes of government schooling that John Taylor Gatto uncovers for us and guess who was livid?

I wasn’t alone.

Like many of us, I realized that I had been cheated of a real education, and there is nothing more infuriating than discovering that you have lost the best years for training your mind to a dumbed-down, nefarious government school program. 

I should also tell you of something else that happened to me when I was in public school which has been an impediment throughout my life. As a young kindergarten enrollee, I had developed a false belief that I was not very smart!

This may sound strange, but it happens to be fairly common for children who are almost a year younger than the oldest child in the classroom but expected to do the same level of work.

Unfortunately, beliefs we form from childhood experiences become like deep grooves in our minds, and it can take a lifetime to polish them out, which is why we need to consider carefully the way we are raising our children.

“School is a twelve-year jail sentence where bad habits are the only curriculum truly learned. I teach school and win awards doing it. I should know.”

— John Taylor Gatto

5 Reasons for Homeschooling

In this brief summary of my unfortunate government school years, did you notice that I just gave you five reasons why concerned parents elect to homeschool their children? If not, let me summarize them for you as it’s important to reflect on them:

1. Concerned parents want to give their children a real education where their children learn, at the very least, how to read well, write well, and speak well.

2. They want to give their children proper training in morality and what it means to be an ethical and civilized human being.

3. They want their children to understand that mediocrity is not good enough; they must learn to strive for excellence.

4. They don't want their children exposed to early sexual influences, drugs, and perverse ideologies.

5. They want their children to have self-confidence and as much self-knowledge as they can acquire during a well-spent youth.

These are the five most common reasons for homeschooling, but there are two more that are gaining momentum. Crime is a big problem in schools today, and many parents are not putting their kids into public school or are taking their children out of public school because of safety issues.

I mentioned this to a group of parents about 15 years ago, and one parent thought I was being extreme. But I wasn't. I was just on top of the statistics earlier than they were; now, I believe it is common knowledge that schools are not safe places for kids. 

We also have health concerns with the government schools now mandating a new drug for children that many parents feel is unsafe, despite the propaganda, because the ten or twelve years it takes to safely test a new drug is still in the future.

We have many new homeschoolers now because of the mandates which I find interesting.

Now I’ve given you seven reasons why concerned parents choose to homeschool. Here’s one more that seldom gets mentioned, but that I believe is the most important because it encompasses all the rest:

Your children were born with a God-given potential that they will realize throughout the course of their lives if, and only if, they’re given a fair chance.

If you want your children to reach their potentials, the best chance you have to help them is to intelligently homeschool your kids. Don’t let them waste their best years of learning in public school.

Educate your children well by doing it yourself or hiring competent tutors to teach your kids. One-on-one instruction is superior to class instruction which is why the aristocracy were always tutored.

What’s vital to remember is that an education tailored to one is the education of people who lead themselves, and may even lead others, as opposed to being led.

Let me conclude by saying this: living in a dumbed-down world is frightening. Dumbed-down people are easy to manipulate, and Americans may be the most manipulated people on this planet today.

Keep your kids out of public school and homeschool them so they can grow up to be leaders who are intelligent, ethical, critically thinking people.

Mediocrity will not do.

*****

To learn about John Taylor Gatto’s Six Purposes of Government Schooling, use this link.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life.

Become a Smart Homeschooler and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home using the Smart Homeschooler Academy Curriculum and teaching methods taught in the program. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully as well as live ongoing support from Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed her own comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Are You Raising Ethical Children?→

You may be, it can be difficult to tell. Sometimes it requires an honest look into our own behavior. How ethical of a person are we?

“Ethics, also called moral philosophy, the discipline concerned with what is morally good and bad and morally right and wrong.”

— Britannica Encyclopedia

And sometimes, it requires an honest look at how we are raising our children. Are we holding them accountable for their actions? 

Regardless, each of us has an innate moral nature. At very early ages, children will begin to make judgment calls about what is right and what is wrong. Consider how young a child is when he begins to say things like, "But that's not fair!"

As children mature, we want to teach them how to govern their emotions and act with the intention to do the right thing. Conducting ourselves with integrity is a choice.

“Integrity, from the Latin word: integritas meaning purity; morally, uprightness”

— Cassel's Latin Dictionary

Yet, given the state of affairs today, there appears to be a grave breakdown in our sense of right and wrong, making it challenging to model ethical behavior for our children. 

Learning how to determine ethical boundaries begins in the home, but learned behaviors in school also play a role. As Vicky Abeles points out in her iconic film, The Race to Nowhere, 97% of high school students lie and cheat on exams throughout their high school years to be able to graduate at the end of their four-year term.

Now, upon first hearing this, you might think this kind of behavior is restricted to high school, but this isn't the case. 

Children who learn to make exceptions for ethical behavior when the exceptions lead to acquiring something important, such as a high school diploma, are at risk of adopting habits contrary to good character.

“It is well said, then, that it is by doing just acts that the just man is produced, and by doing temperate acts the temperate man; without doing these no one would have even a prospect of becoming good.”

— Aristotle

We can all sympathize with their plight as the demands made on schoolchildren are impossible, but something is wrong when they are part of an educational system that they cannot succeed at unless they lie and cheat. And we have to ask ourselves, "Do we really want to enroll them in such a system?"

Regardless, once bad habits such as these are established, it is unlikely they will be limited to the classroom. On the contrary, a habit is a habit, and to correct a bad one requires an intention to break the habit. But first, a person needs to see that there is a problem. 

It's difficult, however, to see that you have a problem when your problem has become the norm. Between the school environment plus the unclear boundaries in the home, one can expect that the child's ability to accurately distinguish between right and wrong will be blurry, at best. 

And this is what we are dealing with today. Lying and cheating are the norms to such a degree that even people who think they are ethical are not. 

However, each individual is responsible for his own actions. We cannot shift the responsibility of our behavior to anyone or anything else. Science is good at blaming our behavior on mythical chemical imbalances or brain configurations that deviate from the norm.

We are very good at blaming our parents or anything we can reasonably point our fingers at, but the reality is that the only direction we can honestly point our fingers is at ourselves.

We all have the ability to choose and evading responsibility for our choices will get us nowhere. While the blame game may make us feel better momentarily, it will not make us a better person, and it will not help us raise better children. 

Before we can assume responsibility for our actions, we have first to understand what is right behavior and what is wrong behavior. Once we can make this distinction, we must choose to correct our less-than-admirable behavior, so we act in harmony with our values. 

It is of paramount importance that we teach this kind of mindfulness to our children. We must avoid putting them in situations that will undermine this teaching, and we must set a good example for them with our own behavior. 

The latter means that we have to be honest with ourselves about the state of our characters. We learn to understand our character by diligently questioning our intentions and actions and correcting them when we find them not aligning with our values.

We all have a conscience and know in our heart of hearts when we are doing something wrong. As my father once said, "The road to Hell is a long series of negotiations with the devil." In other words, it isn't one big thing we do that determines who we are, but the little things we do over and over again that will eventually decide the state of our characters. 

The majority of us often compromise our integrity in mindless ways. Sometimes we compromise it in simple acts like withholding information from a friend to produce an outcome that benefits us or maybe the grocery checker forgot to check something in our basket and we walked off without telling her.

But sometimes, we compromise our integrity in more significant ways. 

“Virtue lies in our power, and similarly so does vice; because where it is in our power to act, it is also in our power not to act...”

— Aristotle

We might do egregious things like damage someone's bumper and drive off without leaving a note. Maybe we plant the seeds of doubt about another person's character to mutual friends because we are envious of them? Maybe we charge for a high-quality service that we aren't competent to provide.

To correct these kind of behaviors, we have to stop and ask ourselves this question: for how much am I willing to compromise my integrity?

Will I compromise it for the 50 cents I didn't have to pay because the teller missed the apple in my cart? Will I compromise it for the 100 dollars I saved because I didn't fix the bumper that I damaged? Will I compromise it for the benefit I received for withholding information from my friend or lessening people's opinion of someone? Will I compromise my integrity for the extra money I earned for fraudulently advertising something I couldn't fully provide? 

When we reflect on especially the minor injustices we commit, we realize for how little we will compromise our own integrity.

If you can understand that the little things add up to the big things, and the big things make up your character, somehow saving the cost of an apple or a bumper repair hardly seem worth it.

“What a piece of work is a man! How Noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In Action, how like an Angel in apprehension, how like a God!
The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—”

— Shakespeare

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed her own comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Why You Shouldn't Focus on Your Child's Happiness

I believe it was Isocrates who said that the healthy child wants to become an adult. In raising our children well, we must teach them how to act and think like mature people.

Yet, the phrase we hear most often repeated is this: 

"I just want him to be happy." 

But if you think about it, it isn't what you most want. What you most want is that he grows up to be a decent, hard-working, mature adult. If you raise him to become these things, then happiness will follow.

As the ancients understood and current research now proves, happiness is found in living a virtuous life. The modern pursuit of pleasure and good times, it turns out, is just a myth being thrust upon us by very sophisticated and manipulative marketing techniques.

Contrary to this empty rhetoric, a good life does not come from the pursuit and acquisition of pleasure, in whatever form you desire, but it comes from being a virtuous person. As the concept of "virtue" seems to be an idea that’s gone out of fashion, let me share with you some of the qualities that a virtuous person might possess:

Humility, courage, mercy, patience, tolerance, diligence, and generosity. These are some of the qualities a truly “happy” person might embody.

To inculcate these kind of qualities in your child, you must begin when he is very young.

You must train him in the way of good habits, and then, and only then, will you be able to raise a happy child who later becomes a happy adult. One state naturally follows the other. 

What is the key to raising a child with good habits?

Raise a child who is obedient and does the right thing, not from fear of you, but from a deep love and respect for you. 

We don't need behavioral studies to prove this; we need to pay attention. A child who is always complaining and throwing tantrums and always asking for this and that is not a happy child, is he? Nor is the child who is always doing what he is told not to do. 

However, the kind of training that protects from these unhappy states must start when your child is very young. You should begin training your child in the ways of good behavior as soon as he or she turns two years of age.

If you wait until much later to begin, the training process becomes increasingly more difficult. Waiting too long means you will need to correct bad habits first and then work on instilling the good habits in your child.

It’s a much more tedious and frustrating experience to correct bad habits than it is to avoid them from forming in the first place.

“Give me a child until he is seven and I will show you the man.”

— Aristotle

If you fail to raise your child well, then he will be destined to spend the rest of his life working to correct deeply ingrained negative traits (a lifetime pursuit and not for the easily discouraged). Even worse, he will perpetuate and suffer the ills in life (as will everyone he encounters) that arise from not being a good person.

You see, the opposite of the virtuous person would be the wretched one who will never know any real happiness. We've all known wretched people, especially as they get older and nature carves their wretched states into their faces. We certainly don't want this for our children!

In a nutshell, if you focus on the happiness factor when your child is young, you will fail to raise a happy child. Focus on raising a decent child first, and his happiness will follow. 

If you don't know where to begin, do this: throw out all of your parenting books and stop asking your friends for advice (the latter is the equivalent of the blind leading the blind).  Moving forward, begin to think about the consequences of your actions as a parent.

Start asking yourself questions such as, "If I do this, then what is the message I am giving my child?" If I let him do this, then what am I teaching him about his behavior and the journey of life?"

For example, this may surprise you to know that many parents look to their children's desires to decide how they should educate them. I know this for a fact (no studies done, yet) because the parents say things to me like, "I thought about homeschooling, but he wanted to go to school with his neighborhood friends," or "I thought about homeschooling, but he's so social, and I think he'd be happier in school."

How you educate your child is a huge decision that will alter the course of his life, but he is too young to make such a life-changing decision. You are the adult; this is your decision to make for your child. 

It doesn't matter if he prefers to go to school with friends or that you think he would be happier in school because he has friends to socialize with every day. What matters is whether or not a school is the best place for your child or whether another option might be such as homeschooling.

You have to weigh the pros and cons accurately and objectively before you make this kind of a decision.

Base your decision upon your values and what you want for your children. If you want to raise decent children, you have to consider the moral environment of the child.

If you're going to raise highly intelligent children, you have to evaluate the level of academic training a school offers. If you want both, then you have to look for an educational model that provides both,

If you only care about your child's immediate happiness, then you can let him make this decision. 

I used the example of educational decisions because I hear about them a lot, but the truth is that there are many decisions we let our children make every day, such as when they can finish playing; when they need to do their chores; when they need to get ready for bed. 

Instead of training them to understand that these are non-negotiable commands we make of our children, we go to the negotiating table with them and let them argue their case for an extension of time for whatever it is they want to do.

We also exhaust ourselves in the process, which is one reason parents find raising children so challenging today. It's always tiring to have to argue with someone and then give in to them when they should have done what you asked them to do in the first place.

Children need most, and what they don't have enough of are adults who guide them on their way to maturity by concerning themselves less with whether or not their children are happy and more with whether or not the parents are training their children well.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

— Aristotle

The point to childhood is to prepare for adulthood; you should be less concerned about making a child happy and more concerned about raising a child who grows up to be a responsible, honorable, and mature adult.

It's not uncommon today to see grown children well into their 30's, or 40's still living at home because they can't make it on their own. The other day, my 30-something chiropractor told me that half of his friends still live at home.

I know of many situations where the parents still have aging children at home. An offspring well into adulthood and living at home out of necessity was unheard of when I was young.

Literally.

Make your priority for your children less about their happiness and more about behaving well and doing the right thing.

If you do, the chances are strong that you'll be able to enjoy your golden years knowing your kids are doing well and on the way to acquiring the kind of happiness that comes from living a good life.

*****

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, course will be open again sometime in March, 2021.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

5 Ways to Stimulate Your Child's Love of Learning

The other night a friend showed me a clip of her nine-month-old baby trying to imitate her mother's expressions. I looked into the baby's eyes as I watched the video and the intense alertness that I witnessed, the acute observation of each facial move in her mother's face, was fascinating.

The baby wanted to know how to make the same faces her mother was making, and she was trying to understand how to do this by conducting a scientific investigation.

It's the intense desire to know that all healthy children possess, yet what happens to their curiosity as they grow older? Why do so many children forsake that infinite sense of wonder that is so innate to each of us? 

“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.”

— L. Frank Baum

One of the reasons this happens today is because too many children start school at young ages, and by the time they reach kindergarten, first grade, if they are lucky, the light within them begins to dim.

Consider this: if your child’s desire to explore and understand the world around him is constantly thwarted by a teacher’s dictates, he will begin to give up his investigative work, and his sense of curiosity will eventually wilt.

For example, if a child has a small shovel in his hand, but every time he tries to shovel something a teacher tells him to stop, he will eventually stop picking the shovel up.

When a child cannot follow the lead of his curiosity, or is not in an environment where he can exercise his desire to know, as children who are in daycare and preschools from early ages are, they begin to put their curiosity down. 

If you have a child whose curiosity is waning, or whose curiosity you want to stimulate, here are five things you can do:

1. If you have to put your child into an outside program, look for a daycare or preschool that is play-based and ideally held in the outdoors, such as a Forest School. Make sure they are operated by people who understand what children need at these tender ages. If you aren't sure what the philosophy for the school is, ask them. Please do not be shy about these matters; after all, this is your child, and you want to make sure he is under the best care.

2. Immediately remove all screens from your child's life both inside and outside the home. Under no circumstances should you hand him your cell phone to quiet him because you are busy. Screens are a cause of a dimming curiosity; not only that but they will thwart your child's brain development. 

3. Do not entertain your child! Let him entertain himself. It is not that you don't ever play with your child, but only that you do not become his full-time playmate. Allow him to follow the dictates of his curiosity and figure things out for himself. Children are little scientists; let him conduct his own experiments. 

4. Be curious yourself. Take your child into the outdoors and explore with him. Let him walk barefoot on fallen leaves and dip his feet into spring water to awaken his senses. Bring his attention to the songs of birds and the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through them. Collect a bug or two and read about them when you get home. Notice a particular bird sound (my favorite is the red-winged blackbird!) and look the bird up in a reference book or on the internet when you get home. Try to imitate the bird's song with your child. Ask him questions to stimulate a conversation and discover the answers together, such as how birds fly and what foods they eat. 

5. Lastly, if you can, don't put your child into any school programs until he is at least ten years old. Until then, teach him yourself because so many learning problems take root during those early years. The first few grades of elementary school are easy to teach when you know what you are doing. 

Remember that the desire to know is our natural state, but we have this yearning socialized out of us in various ways, the least not being school. Our innate desire to know, however, is still there within us.

“An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”

— Benjamin Franklin

If your child's desire for knowledge has dimmed for any of the above reasons, understand that you can help him awaken it. It is something you must make the intention to do too because reaching his full potential in life begins with the desire to know.

Why should he become less than he could be when he can be so much more?

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, course will be open again sometime in March, 2021.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

The Six Purposes of Schooling by John Taylor Gatto

When people have asked me why I homeschooled, I tell them I had no choice. I tell them that if they understood what I understand about public education, they would homeschool too. John Taylor Gatto was the man who opened my eyes to the nefarious agenda behind public school.

What follows is a transcription of the key section from John’s classic speech and opus, The Underground History of American Education. John was a brilliant and well-researched man. I have read what is below in Ingles’ book myself; it is all true.   

Transcription of John’s Talk

“I have something here.  I have the six purposes of schooling [from the book Principles of Secondary Education by Alexander James Inglis] as laid down in 1917 by the man whom Harvard named their Honor Lecture in Education for. 

So far from being a fringe individual, this guy is the reason the Harvard Honor Lecture in Education is named as it is:  The Inglis Lecture.  I would like to read you the six purposes of schooling.  I moved heaven and earth as it took years to find this book [Principles of Secondary Education]--just like trying to find in past years a copy of the Carol Quigley [book] Tragedy and Hope.  

I learned about Inglis from a twenty year President of Harvard [1933-1953], James Bryant Conant, who was a poison gas specialist in World War I--and was in the very inner circle of the Atomic Bomb Project in World War II--was High Commissioner of Occupied Germany after the War. 

So he [James Bryant Conant] wrote--there must be 20 books about the institution of schooling--of which he was completely a proponent.  And he is a very, very bad writer.  I forced myself to read most of these books, and one of them he says that if you really want to know what school is about, you need to pick up the book that I’m referring to Principles of Secondary Education. 

Two years it took me to find a copy of the book [Principles of Secondary Education by Alexander James Inglis]--750 pages, tiny print and as dull as your imagination can be.  And furthermore, it is not till you get to the very middle of the book--in an unlabelled section--that he spills the beans.  Let me spill them for you.  

 There are six purposes, or functions, as he calls them.  The first he [Alexander Inglis] calls the Adjustive Function: Schools are to establish fixed habits of reaction to authority.  That’s their main purpose--habits and reactions to authority. 

That is why school authorities don’t tear their hair out when somebody exposes that the Atomic Bomb wasn’t dropped on Korea, as a history book in the 1990s printed by Scott Foresman [did], and why each of these books has hundreds of substantive errors.  Learning isn’t the reason the texts are distributed.  

The Adjustive Function

So, first is the Adjustive Function--fixed habits.  Now here comes the wonderful insight that being able to analyze the detail will give you.  How can you establish whether someone has successfully developed this Automatic Reaction because people have a proclivity when they are given sensible orders to follow. 

That is not what they want to teach.  The only way you can measure this is to give stupid orders and people automatically follow those.  Now you have achieved Function #1.  

The Integrating Function

Have you ever ever wondered why some of the foolish things that schools do or allow to continue?  [Function] #2, he [Inglis] calls it the Integrating Function, but it is easier to understand if you call it the Conformity Function. 

It’s to make children alike as possible--the gifted children and the stupid--alike as possible because market research uses statistical sampling, and it only works if people react generally the same way.  

The Directive Function

The Third Function he calls the Directive Function: School is to diagnose your proper social role and then log the evidence that here is where you are on the Great Pyramid, so that future people won’t allow you to escape that compartment.  

The Differentiating Function

 The Fourth Function is the Differentiating Function.  Because once you have diagnosed the kids in this layer, you do not want them to learn anything that the higher layers are learning.  So you teach just as far as the requirement of that layer.  

The Selective Function

 Number five and six are the creepiest of all!  Number 5 is the Selective Function.  What that means is what Darwin meant by natural selection: You are assessing the breeding quality of each individual kid.  You’re doing it structurally because school teachers don’t know this is happening. 

And you’re trying to use ways to prevent the poor stuff from breeding.  And those ways are hanging labels--humiliating labels--around their neck, encouraging the shallowness of thinking.

 I often wondered, because I came from a very very strict Scotish-Irish culture that never allowed you to leer at a girl.  But when I got to NYC, the boys were pawing the girls openly and there was no redress for the girls at all, except not showing up in the classroom--high absentee rates. 

Well, you are supposed to teach structurally that sexual pleasure is what you withdraw from a relationship and everything else is a waste of time and expensive.  

 So, the Selective Function is what Darwin meant by the favored races.  The idea is to consciously improve the breeding stock.  Schools are meant to tag the unfit with their inferiority by poor grades, remedial placement, and humiliation, so that their peers will accept them as inferior.  And the good breeding stock among the females will reject them as possible partners.  

The Propaedeutic Function

 And the Sixth is the creepiest of all! And I think it is partly what Tragedy and Hope is about--a fancy Roman name, the Propaedeutic Function.  Because as early as Roman bigtime thinkers, it was understood that to continue a social form required that some people be trained that they were the custodians of this.  So, some small fraction of the kids are being ready to take over the project. 

That’s the guy--the honor lecturer [Inglis], and it will not surprise you that his ancestors include the major-general of the siege of the Luknow of India--famous for tying the mutineers’ on the muzzle of the cannons and blowing them apart, or somebody who was forced to flee NYC, a churchman at the beginning of the American Revolution, because he wrote a refutation of Thomas Paine’s Common Sense. 

They were going to tar and feather him.  He fled and was rewarded by the British by making him the Bishop of Nova Scotia.  Those are Inglis’ ancestors!  

 So, Al Inglis is certainly--when I learned of this and wrote to Harvard, asking for access to the Inglis Lecture.  Strike me dead, Lord, if I’m exaggerating at all.  I was told “We have no Inglis Lecture--hasn’t been for years, and we have no records. 

It was the same that happened when I discovered that Elwood B. Cubberly, the most influential schoolman of the 20th century and the bionomics genius had been the elementary school editor of Houghton Mifflin, and I wrote Houghton Mifflin--Is there any record? And they said, “We have no record of anyone named Elwood P. Cubberly. 

Now Harvard is telling me, “There is no Inglis Lecture.  A week passed and I got a call from Harvard, from some obscure office at Harvard, saying “What is your interest in the Ingles Lecture?”  I knew that I was on thin ice. 

And I said, “Well, James Conant referred me in his books to the man the Inglis Lecture is named after, and I was just wondering if I could get some background on this fellow, and a list of the lectures.  

 And in due time, I got a list of the lectures and instructions [on] how to access the texts, but not easily. Enough hoops that someone who has to mow the lawn and burp the baby wouldn’t jump through those hoops.  I was able to prove Harper’s [magazine] wouldn’t publish [it in] the cover essay I wrote, which Lew Laflin [?] named Against School, but I had called The Artificial Extension of Childhood because I think that is the key mechanism at work here.  

 So, they wouldn’t print the information about Cubberley because Houghton Mifflin denied it.  It was only months after that I looked through my extensive library of incredibly dull books about schooling, and I opened [one]--and on the facing page said Elwood B. Cubberly, Editor and Chief of Elementary School, publishing arm of Houghton Mifflin. 

By the way, the secondary Editor and Chief was Alexander Ingles.  So you see how this cousinage works.” 

*****

Download your free copy of 10 Surprising Facts About Homeschooled Kids.

*Video transcribed by Roger Copple. To watch the full 12-minute video: The Six Purposes of Schooling [Video]

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, course will be open again sometime in March, 2021.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Goodbye, Mr. Potato Head

Mr. Potato Head is losing his gender, at least on the box he comes in. Moving forward, he will be known only as Potato Head.

It's a little confusing, so let me explain: he's still a Mister in the box but not on the box.

Apparently there were a lot of articles that emerged Friday morning spreading fast the news that the toy company, Hasbro, who created the character of Mr. Potato Head in the 1950s, was going gender-neutral.

But then, the news article I was reading, by CNN, was updated later when Hasbro tweeted that the brand name had changed but not the characters.

I was relieved to learn that. 

When I was young, we had a funny sitcom about a talking horse called Mister Ed. After reading the Potato Head article, I was trying to imagine what would happen if Mister Ed became just Ed, but then that's a man's name.

And that got me thinking, exactly how would the TV producers handle Mister Ed today? Would they have to change his name? And what would they change it to since names from the beginning of time have always been based on gender? 

And what about adults? When I was young, children still addressed grown-ups with titles such as, Mr. Jones or Mrs. Smith. Since we were not allowed to call an adult by their first name, what would we have done if the gender issue had existed then?

Would we have had to drop the Mr. and Mrs. when we spoke to an adult? As calling an adult by their last name was rude, dropping the titles would have put us in another bind.

My daughter told me at gender-neutral Berkeley, on the first day of her classes, the professors ask each student to state their pronoun preference. Some classes have as many as 300-400 students.

This perplexed me because I wondered how the teacher would then keep all of that straight? If the professor has to know what the pronoun preference for each student is, does that mean that every time they need to use someone's pronoun they have to look at their roster, find the person's name, see their pronoun preference, and then speak? 

As I considered this, I couldn't help but think about the cost of tuition and how much class time this must take up?

Anyhow, I continued reading the article and found that Mattel, the maker of Barbie dolls, also wanted to introduce "a multi-dimensional view of beauty and fashion." To accomplish this, they introduced new dolls with disabilities, hair loss, and “vitigilio.”

I'm not sure what vitigilio is but I know that vitiligo is related to a disease affecting the skin pigmentation. 

Either way, it reminded me of a time when I was waiting to get my primary health care license in Chinese medicine. I worked for a company that sold a product for treating hair loss based on Chinese herbs. One day I was in a salon talking about the product to the owner when one of her customers came in. 

The customer, an attractive young woman, was invited into the back room by the owner.  While I didn't understand why she had been invited to join our conversation, she understood. She asked me if she could show me something. I said that she could.

She pulled her hair off and was completely bald. To clarify, her hair was a wig; she had no hair. She suffered from a disease called alopecia which causes all of a person's hair to fall out.

It was a shock to witness this, and I'm sorry, Mattel, but it was not at all beautiful. So when Mattel says they want to promote “beauty and fashion” by making a doll with thinning hair, again, I'm confused. Women and men spend billions of dollars each year to not have thinning and balding hair. 

Does Mattel not know this?

Potato Head aside, what all this confusion indicates to me is that we are beginning to lose a grip on a reality that we have agreed upon since the beginning of time. 

We are not thinking rationally and logically because we have been dumbed down by an educational system being manipulated by the corporate world since the mid-1800's and which now includes tycoons like Bill Gates. 

Gates has far more global power today than any one man should ever have. Where are the checks and balances for such unrestrained greed and lust for power?

And is it a coincidence that he largely funded the development of a national curriculum, and that most schoolchildren are now at home learning online?

It's pretty amazing if it is. 

If I were a young parent today, I would reflect on your child's exposure to the gender conversation very seriously, and I would do several things to protect them from it and anything related to it. 

Understand that this nefarious social conditioning taking place in school and the media is inevitably destined to alter their understanding of what is beautiful, good, and true.  

I want to share my 8 Steps to Protect Your Child's Heart and Mind with you, but before I do I need to make a request. Please resist the inclination to ignore them because you think they are too extreme.

It is precisely extreme measures we must take to win this battle because we are too far out in left field now. 

Personally, I don't care what people do behind closed doors, and I believe that each human being possesses an inherent dignity that is worthy of respect, but I have to draw a line when aggressive marketing campaigns are launched to literally alter our perception of reality in order to satisfy a very small group of people.

If you want to protect your children and are ready to be proactive, here is a downloadable list of 8 things you can do to make sure what's beautiful, good, and true in life remains beautiful, good, and true in your children's eyes too.

Beauty. Goodness. Truth. Now those are ideals worth pondering; those are ideals worth striving for.

On a final note, you can save your money because Potato Head is a toy not worth buying. He occupies your children's time for about five minutes and then they get bored. My kids played far longer with two sticks that cost me nothing than they ever did with Mr. Potato Head.

Still, I don't like to see the Mr. of Potato Head removed from the box.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, is where you want to start.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

5 Reasons Why You May Feel Overwhelmed and 30 Ways to Fix It

As mothers, we tend to run ourselves ragged.

We forget that when we are exhausted and overwhelmed, we are less able to be present and in a good state of mind for those we love and who depend on us.

The truth is that we can only do so much as mothers; therefore, we do not want our children's memories of us to be that of a worn-out, exhausted parent because we are trying to do too much. To avoid this from happening, we need to organize our lives to eliminate the things that drain us unnecessarily and do more of the things that replenish us.

If you feel overwhelmed and worn out, it's a prudent time to take stock of your life and determine what is draining your energy.

Begin by asking yourself these five questions:

1. Have you taken on too much?

2. Are your extended family or friends draining your energy?

3. Are you and your husband at odd about things?

4. Are your children unruly?

5. Are you not taking the time to pursue your pre-motherhood interests?

What is it that is weighing you down? Sometimes it's a combination of things, but whatever is going on, you want to face it so you can determine how to break the cycle you're in and reclaim your life, restore your energy, and be present for your loved ones. 

While you are raising your family, and even beyond, you want to focus first on your marriage and make sure that it is solid.

Then look to relationships beyond your family and determine which ones require too much of your time and energy. you have difficult or extremely needy people in your life, you will need to reduce or even eliminate the time you spend with these people.

And then look at your children and make sure you have not gotten into negative patterns with them because it can be exhausting to have disobedient and disrespectful children to deal with every day. 

Remember the things you used to love to do before you had children. Maybe you loved to ride bikes or ride horses; maybe you had friends you went out to lunch with regularly; maybe you played a lot of tennis or went to music concerts; maybe you spent time reading or knitting. Whatever it is that you used to love doing, make the intention to bring some of it back into your world.

Just because you have children now doesn't mean your life has to be 100% devoted to them, 100% of the time.

The younger they are, the more they will need you, but as they get older you should be able to weave into your day more and more of the time you need to stay fresh and upbeat.

Also, you don't want your children to see you as someone who has no other interests besides them. Be someone who is interesting to them, so they are interested in you.

Find things to do that replenish energy and good spirit, and you will find you have more of yourself to give. 

Children pick up on our moods, and even though they can't intellectualize them, they do feel them. Engaging yourself in other pursuits a few times a week does not make them feel less loved.

If your child had a choice, he would tell you to go out and do something you enjoy if that means you will be more present and happier when you are together.

As we want our children to be of good cheer, they want the same of us. Our children want to feel secure in knowing that we are happy to be their parent.

For 30 ways to fix your overwhelm, download a free copy of 30 Things a Mother Can Do To Feel Cheerful.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, is where you want to start.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

One Method to Raise Courageous Children and Catapult Their Careers

Courage is a great virtue and one every successful person embodies. But it’s an often misunderstood virtue.

Many people think courage is a lack of fear, but courageous people experience fear. The difference is that courageous people will act despite their fear whereas cowards will succumb to their fear and be unable to act. 

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.”

— Mark Twain

Life, to be lived to its fullest, has challenges and obstacles that we must all face and learn to overcome. If we let our fear conquer our minds, we will struggle to live purposeful lives because cowardice is paralyzing.

It will stop us from making decisions or acting in ways that will propel us forward in our life's true purpose.

If you want your child to embrace his life, to live life to its fullest, to realize his life's work and purpose, then you have to allow him to take risks in childhood and learn to overcome the obstacles and challenges that he'll face. There are physical challenges he must overcome as well as challenges of the mind. 

The mental challenges are the more difficult to overcome because man is a master at self-delusion. But we can help our children learn to face them with courage when they are young, to overcome them when they are older.

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”

— William Faulkner

The greatest fear of the mind is the fear of performance, otherwise known as the fear of looking stupid. There are ways your child can confront this fear in youth so it does not immobilize him when he is older.

Give your child a head start developing the confidence to perform by having him perform for audiences during his childhood. There are various situations you can put your child into to give him the practice he needs to overcome this fear. If you can do this for him, he'll be at a great advantage in his life.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

— E.E. Cummings

Here are three situations to consider for your child to help him discover the stuff he is made of, his "mettle," as Homer would say.

Music

The first is by having him learn a musical instrument and performing in music recitals. Find a music teacher who provides recitals for the children at least twice a year. If you find a teacher you like, but the teacher does not provide recitals, suggest he or she does and offer to help organize the recitals. If this fails, then continue looking until you find a competent teacher who does provide recitals. 

Music recitals are extremely important for children because they develop the confidence they need to walk out onto a stage and perform under pressure. In the beginning, it will be difficult for them but, when they are very young, they have the advantage of being less self-conscious.

Children also tend to have less of an opinion about things when they are younger, so they'll be more willing to perform when they understand that it's expected of them. 

 As they grow older, with enough practice, they'll get used to performing for others and be able to bring joy to people through their music. While they may feel nervous before they start to play, they will understand that their fear is not a reason to cower down; they will learn to act despite it. 

Poetry

As part of your child's education, have him memorize poetry. Once a month, get together with other families whose children are also engaged in memory work and do a joint recital. Let each child have a turn coming to the stage and reciting by heart the poem he learned.

Afterward, have tea and cookies and let the children enjoy their accomplishments together. The goal is to let it be an event they can look back on with fondness while they are developing confidence in learning to perform. 

Projects

Have a quarterly or bi-annual project night where children speak on some aspect of history or science through a project they made. This is not only a good opportunity for them to learn to ignore their fear and learn to perform well, but it is a great academic learning and teaching opportunity too. 

There are other things you can do to help your child gain confidence in performing when he is young; still, these suggestions are a place for you to begin thinking about the kind of opportunities that will help your child gain confidence in his ability to perform well. 

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

— Winston S. Churchill

If you can do this for him, you will have helped him learn that fear is not a reason for inaction; we act despite our fear when there is something worth doing. The more we act, the more courageous we become.

When your child is young, let me offer you a word of caution: do not let him get into the habit of always being the center of attention. Teaching your child to perform and indulging a child in excessive attention are two very different things.

One leads to courage, and the other leads to self-centeredness. 

Your goal is to raise him to be courageous and to be able to rise to the occasion when life demands it of him. This is the beginning of the journey to living a life of purpose.

The great sage Rumi said that every person was born with a desire for some work in his heart. Raise your child to be courageous so he can discover that work. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

Free Download: How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a reading guide and book list with 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.