Goodbye, Mr. Potato Head

Mr. Potato Head is losing his gender, at least on the box he comes in. Moving forward, he will be known only as Potato Head.

It's a little confusing, so let me explain: he's still a Mister in the box but not on the box.

Apparently there were a lot of articles that emerged Friday morning spreading fast the news that the toy company, Hasbro, who created the character of Mr. Potato Head in the 1950s, was going gender-neutral.

But then, the news article I was reading, by CNN, was updated later when Hasbro tweeted that the brand name had changed but not the characters.

I was relieved to learn that. 

When I was young, we had a funny sitcom about a talking horse called Mister Ed. After reading the Potato Head article, I was trying to imagine what would happen if Mister Ed became just Ed, but then that's a man's name.

And that got me thinking, exactly how would the TV producers handle Mister Ed today? Would they have to change his name? And what would they change it to since names from the beginning of time have always been based on gender? 

And what about adults? When I was young, children still addressed grown-ups with titles such as, Mr. Jones or Mrs. Smith. Since we were not allowed to call an adult by their first name, what would we have done if the gender issue had existed then?

Would we have had to drop the Mr. and Mrs. when we spoke to an adult? As calling an adult by their last name was rude, dropping the titles would have put us in another bind.

My daughter told me at gender-neutral Berkeley, on the first day of her classes, the professors ask each student to state their pronoun preference. Some classes have as many as 300-400 students.

This perplexed me because I wondered how the teacher would then keep all of that straight? If the professor has to know what the pronoun preference for each student is, does that mean that every time they need to use someone's pronoun they have to look at their roster, find the person's name, see their pronoun preference, and then speak? 

As I considered this, I couldn't help but think about the cost of tuition and how much class time this must take up?

Anyhow, I continued reading the article and found that Mattel, the maker of Barbie dolls, also wanted to introduce "a multi-dimensional view of beauty and fashion." To accomplish this, they introduced new dolls with disabilities, hair loss, and “vitigilio.”

I'm not sure what vitigilio is but I know that vitiligo is related to a disease affecting the skin pigmentation. 

Either way, it reminded me of a time when I was waiting to get my primary health care license in Chinese medicine. I worked for a company that sold a product for treating hair loss based on Chinese herbs. One day I was in a salon talking about the product to the owner when one of her customers came in. 

The customer, an attractive young woman, was invited into the back room by the owner.  While I didn't understand why she had been invited to join our conversation, she understood. She asked me if she could show me something. I said that she could.

She pulled her hair off and was completely bald. To clarify, her hair was a wig; she had no hair. She suffered from a disease called alopecia which causes all of a person's hair to fall out.

It was a shock to witness this, and I'm sorry, Mattel, but it was not at all beautiful. So when Mattel says they want to promote “beauty and fashion” by making a doll with thinning hair, again, I'm confused. Women and men spend billions of dollars each year to not have thinning and balding hair. 

Does Mattel not know this?

Potato Head aside, what all this confusion indicates to me is that we are beginning to lose a grip on a reality that we have agreed upon since the beginning of time. 

We are not thinking rationally and logically because we have been dumbed down by an educational system being manipulated by the corporate world since the mid-1800's and which now includes tycoons like Bill Gates. 

Gates has far more global power today than any one man should ever have. Where are the checks and balances for such unrestrained greed and lust for power?

And is it a coincidence that he largely funded the development of a national curriculum, and that most schoolchildren are now at home learning online?

It's pretty amazing if it is. 

If I were a young parent today, I would reflect on your child's exposure to the gender conversation very seriously, and I would do several things to protect them from it and anything related to it. 

Understand that this nefarious social conditioning taking place in school and the media is inevitably destined to alter their understanding of what is beautiful, good, and true.  

I want to share my 8 Steps to Protect Your Child's Heart and Mind with you, but before I do I need to make a request. Please resist the inclination to ignore them because you think they are too extreme.

It is precisely extreme measures we must take to win this battle because we are too far out in left field now. 

Personally, I don't care what people do behind closed doors, and I believe that each human being possesses an inherent dignity that is worthy of respect, but I have to draw a line when aggressive marketing campaigns are launched to literally alter our perception of reality in order to satisfy a very small group of people.

If you want to protect your children and are ready to be proactive, here is a downloadable list of 8 things you can do to make sure what's beautiful, good, and true in life remains beautiful, good, and true in your children's eyes too.

Beauty. Goodness. Truth. Now those are ideals worth pondering; those are ideals worth striving for.

On a final note, you can save your money because Potato Head is a toy not worth buying. He occupies your children's time for about five minutes and then they get bored. My kids played far longer with two sticks that cost me nothing than they ever did with Mr. Potato Head.

Still, I don't like to see the Mr. of Potato Head removed from the box.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, is where you want to start.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

One Method to Raise Courageous Children and Catapult Their Careers

Courage is a great virtue and one every successful person embodies. But it’s an often misunderstood virtue.

Many people think courage is a lack of fear, but courageous people experience fear. The difference is that courageous people will act despite their fear whereas cowards will succumb to their fear and be unable to act. 

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.”

— Mark Twain

Life, to be lived to its fullest, has challenges and obstacles that we must all face and learn to overcome. If we let our fear conquer our minds, we will struggle to live purposeful lives because cowardice is paralyzing.

It will stop us from making decisions or acting in ways that will propel us forward in our life's true purpose.

If you want your child to embrace his life, to live life to its fullest, to realize his life's work and purpose, then you have to allow him to take risks in childhood and learn to overcome the obstacles and challenges that he'll face. There are physical challenges he must overcome as well as challenges of the mind. 

The mental challenges are the more difficult to overcome because man is a master at self-delusion. But we can help our children learn to face them with courage when they are young, to overcome them when they are older.

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”

— William Faulkner

The greatest fear of the mind is the fear of performance, otherwise known as the fear of looking stupid. There are ways your child can confront this fear in youth so it does not immobilize him when he is older.

Give your child a head start developing the confidence to perform by having him perform for audiences during his childhood. There are various situations you can put your child into to give him the practice he needs to overcome this fear. If you can do this for him, he'll be at a great advantage in his life.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

— E.E. Cummings

Here are three situations to consider for your child to help him discover the stuff he is made of, his "mettle," as Homer would say.

Music

The first is by having him learn a musical instrument and performing in music recitals. Find a music teacher who provides recitals for the children at least twice a year. If you find a teacher you like, but the teacher does not provide recitals, suggest he or she does and offer to help organize the recitals. If this fails, then continue looking until you find a competent teacher who does provide recitals. 

Music recitals are extremely important for children because they develop the confidence they need to walk out onto a stage and perform under pressure. In the beginning, it will be difficult for them but, when they are very young, they have the advantage of being less self-conscious.

Children also tend to have less of an opinion about things when they are younger, so they'll be more willing to perform when they understand that it's expected of them. 

 As they grow older, with enough practice, they'll get used to performing for others and be able to bring joy to people through their music. While they may feel nervous before they start to play, they will understand that their fear is not a reason to cower down; they will learn to act despite it. 

Poetry

As part of your child's education, have him memorize poetry. Once a month, get together with other families whose children are also engaged in memory work and do a joint recital. Let each child have a turn coming to the stage and reciting by heart the poem he learned.

Afterward, have tea and cookies and let the children enjoy their accomplishments together. The goal is to let it be an event they can look back on with fondness while they are developing confidence in learning to perform. 

Projects

Have a quarterly or bi-annual project night where children speak on some aspect of history or science through a project they made. This is not only a good opportunity for them to learn to ignore their fear and learn to perform well, but it is a great academic learning and teaching opportunity too. 

There are other things you can do to help your child gain confidence in performing when he is young; still, these suggestions are a place for you to begin thinking about the kind of opportunities that will help your child gain confidence in his ability to perform well. 

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

— Winston S. Churchill

If you can do this for him, you will have helped him learn that fear is not a reason for inaction; we act despite our fear when there is something worth doing. The more we act, the more courageous we become.

When your child is young, let me offer you a word of caution: do not let him get into the habit of always being the center of attention. Teaching your child to perform and indulging a child in excessive attention are two very different things.

One leads to courage, and the other leads to self-centeredness. 

Your goal is to raise him to be courageous and to be able to rise to the occasion when life demands it of him. This is the beginning of the journey to living a life of purpose.

The great sage Rumi said that every person was born with a desire for some work in his heart. Raise your child to be courageous so he can discover that work. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

Free Download: How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a reading guide and book list with 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Your Children Must Learn to Write Verse!*

According to Mr. Gwynne (of GwynneTeaching.com and the author of Gwynne’s Grammar), all schoolchildren in England, century after century, used to be taught how to write verse. Back then, writing verse was considered an elemental component of an elementary education

How many adults do you know today who can write verse? Allow me to answer that question for you. Most likely, none.  At least, not classical verse, which is the topic under discussion in what follows.

Fundamental opening question: what exactly is real verse, classical verse?

Let us begin by looking at what of modern verse, more commonly known as "free verse," consists of, and, after that, do the same for traditional verse. 

Free verse is when someone takes a thought and writes it in a style that may or may not offer a vague hint of traditional poetry, but pays no attention to the rules of traditional poetry, and in consequence is not, technically speaking, poetry at all.

Let's look at an example of free verse: this, from T. S. Eliot’s “The Hollow Men”:

 We are the hollow men

 We are the stuffed men

 Leaning together

 Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!

 Our dried voices, when

 We whisper together

 Are quiet and meaningless

 As wind in dry grass

 Or rats' feet over broken glass

 In our dry cellar

“Free verse proliferated in the twentieth century because it was “modernistic”, secular and easier to write; but it moved poetry closer and closer to prose until it reached the point when it was no longer possible to tell the difference when read aloud.”

— Geoff Ward, Academic

Now, let me give you an example of traditional verse, in the first stanza of Robert Frost’s poem “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening”:

Whose woods these are, 

I think I know,

His house is in 

The village though

He will not see 

Me sitting here, 

To watch his woods

Fill up with snow.

Please read it two or three times out loud to get a sense of the feel of the poem. That done, now read a later "stanza" of T. S. Eliot’s “The Hollow Men”:

Let me be no nearer

In death's dream kingdom

Let me also wear

Such deliberate disguises

Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves

In a field

Behaving as the wind behaves

No nearer-

Please read that "poem" out loud two or three times too. 

Notice that, in the genuine poem by Frost, there is an exactness in the number of units that each line is divided into. In consequence, the poem has a rhythm. By contrast, in Eliot's "poem" nothing is measured at all; there is no rhythm of any kind. It could perhaps be not unfairly described as a free-flowing regurgitation of thought. 

 In Eliot's "poem" each line simply has as many feet (units) as Eliot happened to feel like giving it. Far from there being any coherent structure to the “poem”, each "stanza" has an indeterminate number of lines broken up into lines at random – which, by any traditional definition or practice, simply is not poetry.

“Led mainly by Ezra Pound in the United States, and quickly followed by T. S. Eliot in England with “The Waste Land,” both meter and and rhyming were abandoned, first by very few and then by more and more until where we are today, when they are scarcely to be seen today in published poetry.”

— Mr. N. M. Gwynne

In summary of the essential difference between classical poetry and modern poetry-so-called that we have arrived at: what is referred to as free verse is -- by contrast with traditional, true poetry -- in reality no different from prose. In no way, shape or form does modern so-called poetry bear any real resemblance to poetry as traditionally recognized over the past several thousand years dating back to Homer and before. 

Please think about this, good readers. For centuries—no, for millennia—the term “poetry” was given to a particular type of writing that met certain exacting criteria; whereas, by contrast, as with so many things in our “brave new world,” we have kept the name, but completely lost its meaning. 

Might you perhaps be wondering if I am exaggerating? Well, consider the modern Orwellian tendency of so many people in today’s world to adjust the meaning of terms to suit our version of reality.  

Homeschooling no longer means schooling at home outside schooling institutions. Now included as constituents of homeschooling are charter schools and online virtual public schools. Parents who want to be called "homeschoolers" no longer need to do their own teaching of their children, and to do it at home, as traditional homeschoolers have always done in the past, but can now enroll their children in a school and still call themselves "homeschoolers."

A mother is now called a "primary care giver." Anyone who cares for the same child while the mother works is also called a primary care giver, even though he or she is not the mother. (The implication here is that anyone can fulfill a child's need for his mother, which is not true.) 

Homosexuality, originally called “one of the four sins crying out to Heaven for vengeance” in traditional catechisms, more recently rated as “a carnal sin,” and then, more recently still, defined as a mental illness, is now considered to be nothing more than a lifestyle choice. Fundamentally  it is not a choice of lifestyle, however. At root, it is a choice of sexual activity, full stop.

Words frame our realities, something it would behove us not to forget. We need to work diligently to preserve our language and thereby, ultimately, to preserve our reality, and poetry is one of the means by which we can do this. The words that make up a poem, however, must be more than free-flowing. They must be used with precision, in accordance with the rules governing poetry.

While it is true that words can change their meanings over time, nevertheless, if we are to preserve our perennial understanding of reality, a tree  should always remain a tree and a rose should always remain a rose. When we state that a tree is no longer a tree and a rose no longer a rose, we have, whether intentionally or otherwise, altered our reality.

And when reality is altered in a way that decreases our intellectual powers and our heart-felt sensibilities, as the meaning of the word “poetry” has been altered in recent times, should we not oppose, even fight, the change?

Mr. Gwynne thinks that we should. According to Mr. Gwynne (in the U.S. edition of his book Gwynne’s Grammar):

In order to be categorized as verse,

(1) the verse has to be made up of lines, and each line has to have a fixed number of accents or stresses, and each accent has to have a fixed number of unstressed syllables, one or two, attached to it, and

(2) each line has to be divided into feet and each foot has to have a specific combination of accented – stressed -- syllables and unaccented syllables.

If it has a regular meter and regularly rhymes at various intervals, it is called "rhyming verse." If it has a regular meter but does not rhyme, it is called "blank verse." Verse of either kind is what verse has always been in the past and what it must always remain in future in order to be justifiably referred to as “verse.”

To determine if a piece of writing is truly a poem, rather than prose posing as a poem, the reader must be able to "scan" the poem. That is to say, the reader must be able to determine how many feet (see above) per line the poem has and where the accents/stresses in each foot are placed. There are various forms of meter, but, to write poetry, you must use with precision whatever meters you decide to use. 

Composing a true poem demands that you choose words for each line (1) that fit your meter and (2) the stresses of which (in each word) fall on the correct syllable of whatever word is used in any particular place, and never on the wrong syllable. To do this successfully is genuinely demanding for the brain. 

Robert Frost had to think hard and carefully about each line in the poem that he was composing; T. S. Eliot minimally so by comparison. 

Adequately skilled poets know that they cannot just pick any word and put it anywhere in the sentence that seems fitting at first sight. Such poets know that each word must have a precise position in the sentence that “works” if the sentence is to succeed with its readers. They need to give careful thought to finding the exact word for in the line of the poem that it is needed for, and then to fit it in exactly the right place there.

Let us now have another look at that opening of the first stanza of Robert Frost’s “Stopping by Woods…”: 

Whose woods these are, 

I think I know,

His house is in 

The village though…

Can you “hear” that each line has four units, and that the accent is on the second and the fourth syllable in each line, creating a rhythm and natural flow to the line; so that it rolls comfortably off your tongue as you read it?

That of course is not mere accident, but exactly what Frost intended. The poem is regarded as a classic and has stood the test of time partly because it is a poem that follows traditional rules for verse. Following traditional rules of verse is an essential part of poetry that is genuinely glorious, as well as of poetry that is “merely” good poetry! 

Now let us return to that first stanza of Eliot’s:

 We are the hollow men

 We are the stuffed men

 Leaning together

 Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!

 Our dried voices, when

 We whisper together

 Are quiet and meaningless

 As wind in dry grass

 Or rats' feet over broken glass

 In our dry cellar

Line one has three feet; line two has three feet with a different rhythm; line three has two feet; line four has four feet; line five has three feet; line six has two and a half feet; line seven has three feet; line eight has three feet of a different form from those of line seven; line nine has four feet;  line ten has two and a half feet.

If you were to look, stanza by stanza, through the whole "poem" (most of which I have not quoted), you would also find that each "stanza" has a different number of lines.  

There is no flow or rhythm to Eliot’s words. There are some clever phrases, such as "We are the hollow men, We are the stuffed men,” but a clever phrase here and there is not sufficient to make genuine poetry. 

Also, the stresses are out of joint and, as one reads through the “poem,” the sounds feel jerky to the ear. It may be considered good writing, though even that is arguable, but it is not poetry.

Poetry is a science as much as it is an art. There is both a mathematical and a grammatical element to it,  and if either of those two elements is neglected, let alone if both of them are, a poem cannot be competent, let alone great. Meaningful, it might possibly be, but it cannot belong to the category of poem!

Let us look at two more stanza's, each by a different poet. Make your judgement as to which of them needed the greater intelligence and skill and intellectual prowess for its composition, and then move on to where I tell you who wrote them:

There is a change—and I am poor;

Your love hath been, nor long ago,

A fountain at my fond heart's door,

Whose only business was to flow;

And flow it did; not taking heed

Of its own bounty, or my need.

*     *     *

“I have a lover with hair that falls

like autumn leaves on my skin.

Water that rolls in smooth and cool

as anesthesia. Birds that carry

all my bullets into the barrel of the sun.”

If you said the last poem, well, perhaps. It  was written by the upcoming, contemporary "poet," Brian Turner. Turner actually won some literary recognition for his poetry. 

Now, may the real poet, out of the two of them, stand up. William Wordsworth: the first of the two verses above is from his poem “The Complaint.”

I rest my case. 

Your children should learn to write verse for several reasons.

1. Learning to write good verse produces good writers.

2. It expands your vocabulary and your understanding of the precise meaning of words.

3. It helps to preserve the English language, the language of great writers such as George Gascoigne, William Shakespeare  and John Milton. 

4. Learning to write good verse compels the writer to learn how to turn a phrase well; a skill without which, if you do not master it, you can never be a great writer, and with which, if you do master it, could bring you into the catalogue of the most remembered writers of all time. 

To turn a clever phrase -- to say things with an eloquence, a profundity and a beauty in a way no one has ever achieved with them before -- will improve even your prose one-hundred fold.  Examples of such achievements:

"They were the best of times, they were the worse of times." -- Charles Dickens

“We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.” – William Shakespeare

“Solitude sometimes is best society.”  -- John Milton

*This blog post is a combined effort of both myself (Elizabeth) and Mr. Gwynne. While I wrote the article, Mr. Gwynne kindly edited it and thereby improved upon it significantly, to which I owe him many thanks.

What Has Sex Education Got to Do with It?

A Fact

Did you know that sex education has been taught in the classroom since the 1960s? Prior to this period, it was a subject left for parents to tackle when they thought the time was right.

But that was then. Now we have sex-education classes for children starting as early as preschool. 

Are four-year-old children developmentally ready to learn about sex? Are children of any age ready for this kind of education?

Of course not! 

Teaching children about sex forces them to think about adult behaviors that they would prefer not to think about. After all, they are children, for God’s sake.

Ironically, we teach children to believe in Santa Claus, but, in the same vein, we have sex education classes for preschoolers. Freud would have fun untangling this web of inconsistencies. 

A Not-So-Good Idea, Possibly?

According to Dr. Melvin Anchell, who wrote the book What's Wrong With Sex Education, teaching sex education in the classroom has led to significant increases in teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity, teenage abortions, and, not surprisingly, depression and suicide. 

While the reasons for this are more than we can tackle here, let's look at a few of them to get a sense of what is taking place in the classroom.

For starters, when we introduce children to the concept of sex at an early age and do it in mixed classrooms, we remove that natural barrier of modesty which children have, especially the modesty between girls and boys. 

We then reduce sex education to the mechanics of a physical act and ignore its purpose, which is procreation and the physical expression of romantic love. 

The earlier children begin to think about the mechanics of sex; however, the more desensitized they become to a physical act that was once held sacred.

When we shove the subject of mechanical sex into their young faces, having removed the barrier of modesty, the more curious they become about experiencing sex and the less forbidden it seems to them.

Dr. Anchell's findings make perfect sense in a world where elementary sex education has been normalized for the masses of schoolchildren who attend classes five days a week.

The New “Lifestyle Choice”

If things weren't bad enough, in the 21st century, we have begun to teach children that sex between two women and two men is a "lifestyle" choice. 

A lifestyle choice according to whom?

The idea of teaching four-year-olds that two fathers make a family and two mothers make a family is bizarre. Children do not think in these constructs until they are older.

Children do not objectively weigh the various types of "families" in the world. Children take life as it comes without judgment. Whatever world they grow up in will seem normal to them until they are old enough to recognize it for what it is.

Furthermore, what happened to schools teaching subjects such as grammar, Latin, poetry, and Ancient history? Why do we no longer teach these subjects, subjects that children do need to learn if we want them to become educated people? 

After all, isn't that why they are in school?

Benefit vs. Harm?

And, if teaching sex education to children leads to significant increases in teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity, teenage abortions, depression, and suicide, as Dr. Anchell reports, then doesn't this tell us that sex education in the classroom is potentially harmful to our children?

If this is true, it would be prudent to understand what your children are being taught in the name of education.

“If no set of moral ideas were truer or better than any other, there would be no sense in preferring civilized morality to savage morality.”

— C.S. Lewis

Planned Parenthood has many videos on Youtube produced for children ranging from learning to name their genitalia to knowing about gender identity. As you watch the videos, pay close attention to the language that is being used and the assumptions being made.

This is the same language and the same assumptions your children are being exposed to in public school.

The videos would be laughable if they weren’t so disturbing.

The Sex Education Standards

You can easily check out the National Sexuality Education Standards to learn about the K-12 sexual education objectives as taught in public school today. The information is online and available to anyone who chooses to investigate the matter further.  

To give you an idea of what you'll find in the Standards, for example, kindergartners are now taught anatomy. There is nothing wrong with teaching anatomy, but, curiously, no other body parts are mentioned except for the proper names of the male and female genitalia.

A Novel Idea

Have you ever heard a child refer to their private parts by their proper names? On the contrary, as already stated, children have a natural modesty about these things. Why take that away from them?

Furthermore, most adults cannot identify the location of their liver or pancreas, but somehow, a kindergartner should know the proper names of their genitalia?

It would be more fitting to teach students where their organs were located, but maybe not when they are five-years-old.

Feeling Feelings

How about this one: "Identify healthy ways for friends to express feelings to each other." Take note that this need to "express feelings to each" is a part of sex-education courses, not a course in communication.

Healthy ways that young children express their feelings to one another? Can you imagine an eight-year-old boy going up to his eight-year-old friend, also a boy, and saying, "I'd like to express my feelings to you by telling you that I really like you." 

This is not the kind of conversation boys and girls engage in. Maybe they will say something such as, "I like you" or "let's be best friends," as I remember saying to my childhood best friend, but that is the extent of it. 

Children are not thinking about their "feelings" for one another because they don't understand the abstract concept of "feelings."

Attempting to teach children about their feelings within the context of sex education, and then teaching them sexual practices, some of which have always been considered deviant, will naturally get them wondering, which may explain why another sexual practice is also on the rise…

Yes, these are things our children are thinking about today whether we like it or not.

“How can one be well...when one suffers morally”

— Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

Won’t Boys Be Boys?

Here's another of the Standard's objectives: "Provide examples of how friends, family, media, society and culture influence ways in which boys and girls think they should act."

Shouldn't a healthy society teach girls to behave like girls and boys to behave like boys? Evidently not. Instead, we teach them that they can choose their pronouns as easily as they can choose the color of their water bottle. 

Which begs only one question, have we gone totally insane?

In public school, children are expected to ponder the societal influences on their behavior, based on their gender type, yet, Western psychology understands that children are too young to ruminate over these concepts. So...who is fooling whom?

“The goal of a boy should be to become a man, and that of a girl to become a woman.”

— Dr. Melvin Anchell

Gender type, that's another good one.

Between the third and the fifth grade, a child should: "Define sexual orientation as the romantic attraction of an individual to someone of the same gender or a different gender." 

No comment.

Between sixth and eighth grades, your child should be able to: "Differentiate between gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation."

No comment.

There are many reasons to keep your children out of public school, but protecting them from inappropriate exposure to sexual material and subsequent non-sensical value judgments should be at the top of any diligent parent's list.

The environment your children grow up in will help to shape who they become. Research shows that 75% of children will adopt the beliefs they are taught in school.

Childhoods for Children

Children cannot have a wholesome childhood without keeping their innocence intact. Part of their "coming of age" includes being introduced to matters reserved for the adult world when it is appropriate to be introduced to them. 

WHEN IT IS APPROPRIATE TO BE INTRODUCED TO THEM.

The Perpetrator

There are developmental stages in which this happens. But when the stages are interrupted and sped up to meet a perverse agenda largely pushed by taxpayer-funded Planned Parenthood, one has to wonder what is going on?

Did you know that between 2013 and 2015, taxpayers funded Planned Parenthood to the tune of 1.5 billion dollars? This is an organization that earns a lot of money itself, not only by performing abortions but by selling the aborted fetal cells and body parts to research companies including the vaccine industry which uses fetal cells to grow its viruses.

“Planned Parenthood lied to the public and to Congress, but now there is no longer any reasonable doubt that Planned Parenthood sold fetal body parts, commodifying living children in the womb and treating pregnant women like a cash crop. The U.S. Department of Justice must escalate the enforcement of laws against fetal trafficking to the highest level of priority.”

— David Daleiden, CMP

Thanks to Planned Parenthood, since the 1960s, we have children who are being deprived of a normal childhood in the name of "social change" and the sundry societal ramifications that come with it. 

Parents as Protectors

Therefore, each parent should do everything in their power to oppose Planned Parenthood’s influence on our children by providing a wholesome childhood for the precious being they brought into this world.

Protecting your children has to begin with keeping them out of any school, public or private, that does not protect their innocence. 

Sex education is something children should learn about in the home, from their parents (In modest cultures, it isn’t even a topic that’s discussed between parent and child). It is a parent's right to decide if and when to approach the subject; it should never be a decision for public or private schools to make.

As we raise our children, we must remember that we are our children's guardians, and we must guard our children well.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a stellar, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course. Special Covid pricing will end on December 10, 2020.

Free Download: How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a reading guide and book list with 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education. Using her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Cultivating an Independent Mind Begins with a Glass of Water

There is nothing worse than a child clinging to your side while whining for this or that, right? We've all been there. 

We forget that children are capable little beings, and if they want something, they'll get it. When did your three-year-old need help getting the chocolate bar off the kitchen counter or getting a cookie out of the cookie jar?! 

Curiously, children never ask us to help them get things they know we don't want them to have; instead, they get it for themselves because they know that we will not. 

Yet when it comes to something as simple as a glass of water, suddenly, they are helpless as a newborn babe in a mother's arms. 

Being busy and preoccupied, we seldom stop to think about whether or not our child is capable of getting his own glass of water; we automatically get it for him. 

And herein lies the problem: the more we do for our children, the less they do for themselves. Isn't this true in life for adults too?

If someone offers to cook us dinner, we aren't going to refuse, are we? But if they didn't offer, we'd get up and cook it ourselves.

If someone suggested we go out for the day while they come over and clean our entire house, we aren't going to complain, are we?

But if no one cleans our house, unless we have a housecleaner, we will clean it ourselves, won't we? 

Why do we think children will act differently when we offer to assist them or comply to their demands just because they asked?

“A person’s a person, no matter how small.”

— Dr. Seuss

Children are people in little bodies, as Dr. Seuss liked to remind us.  Do more for them, and they'll do less for themselves, that's why you want to teach them as early as possible to get their own glass of water.

And while you're at it, teach them to make their bed, put their clothes away, and get their own snacks too! 

They are perfectly capable of doing these things as long as things are within their reach, and then you show them exactly how to do it.

Raise them to understand that you expect them to attend to their own needs as much as they are able.

Don't entertain the idea that they are not capable or that you are a bad parent by not excessively catering to your children’s whims.

Here's a novel idea for you instead: you don't meet their demands all day long, but you have them meet yours. Teach your children to get you a glass of water and a snack when you are busy! 

It might sound like child labor to some, but the truth is, it's the best thing for the child's character. The more they learn to serve and take care of others, the more polished their characters will become. 

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

— Helen Keller

This isn't to suggest that you treat your child like a servant, not at all. But if you're lying down reading a book, and your child is playing quietly beside you, you could say something like, "Sweetie, please get me a glass of water." 

When he or she brings you the glass of water, look them in the eyes, smile, and with a real sense of appreciation, say "thank you. How sweet of you to get a glass of water for Mommy (or Daddy)."

And watch your child's face light up. 

You aren't a brute, you are letting your child help relieve your thirst, and we all feel better when we help others. Children love to help, and they take pride in being able to do grown-up things "all by myself." 

Your child just learned that it feels good to do a kind thing for another person, and children who do kind things for other people grow up to be kind adults. That's how character development works.

So why not let them? Why coddle children when it only leads to a sense of entitlement and bad character? 

“He that cockers his child provides for his enemy.”

— English Proverb, c. 1640

Join Elizabeth’s signature parenting course: Raise Your Child Well to Live A Triumphant Life. Enrollment is open through midnight, October 9, 2020.

Get your free copy of How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader? It comes with an 80+ book list of carefully chosen books to support your child’s intellectual development.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach, with 17 years experience working in children’s education, and a complimentary background in holistic medicine.

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5 Toys that Will Stimulate Your Preschooler's Imagination

A strong imagination is something to be treasured.

Without one, would Franklin have discovered electricity, Gutenberg the printing press, or the Wright brothers how to fly?

Rather than focus on the ABC's of learning during the preschool years, if you want to maximize your child's intellectual potential, focus on creating an environment where his or her imagination can grow, and the ABC's of learning will naturally follow.

There is a window in childhood when the brain is ripe for sprouting the seeds to imaginative growth, and that window is wide open during the first seven years of the child's life.

It is a window you don’t want your child to miss. Choosing useful toys for your child is one way you can help him or her to develop a strong imagination. With the deluge of unnatural toys produced to bring in larger and larger earnings, it's not always easy to know what to buy.

The truth is that children need very few toys. Two to three toys would be plenty, ten would be more than enough. 

Either way, here are 5 toys that will encourage a preschool child to use his or her imagination. No batteries needed.

NB Make sure to take note of the age recommendations for each toy before purchasing.

1. Wooden Blocks

An all-time favorite, a childhood isn't a childhood without building blocks. Playing with blocks leads a child into using his imagination in various ways. As he begins to play he wonders what will happen if he puts two blocks together to make a big block, or one block on top of another block, and he begins to build.

Maybe he piles his blocks too high, and they all tumble down. Now he's now got to figure out how to build them up without the blocks falling down again. Maybe he lays too many blocks horizontally and now he's run out of blocks to build up with. His mind is constantly working and growing, and the blocks will also keep him occupied for a good amount of time.

NB: Wooden blocks are preferred over plastic blocks.

Contemporary Style Blocks

This set includes 100 durable wooden blocks in 4 different colors and 9 shapes

Classic Style Blocks

This set is comprised of 60 natural-finished, smooth-sanded, solid hardwood blocks

Use the link to find other versions that you might prefer.

4. Matchbox Cars

I might not have thought to include Matchbox cars except that my son played with them for hours, and he has a great imagination. I would watch him from the kitchen window, as I was doing dishes, completely engrossed in these great car races and adventures.

2. A Doll

My apologies, but I was so horrified by the choice of dolls today that I decided it was better to suggest you make your own. Even the “American Girl” doll company, which I considered as a last desperate attempt to find you something (I love the originals, but they’re pricey), had sold out to commercialism.

I don’t care for the faceless dolls (they seem a bit creepy to me), but there is the Waldorf doll (also pricey) though, personally, I still prefer the handmade version below.

This pattern looked more like what I had in mind. I had one doll as a very young child, and except for her wooden face, she was very much like one of the dolls in the pattern.

Waldorf Doll

5. A Doll House

Every girls dream. Little brothers have fun playing with them too. This Fold & Go Mini Dollhouse is a portable wooden dollhouse that features working doors and includes 11 pieces of wooden furniture and two flexible wooden play figures.

A high-end version which is probably overkill but I thought I’d include it anyway. It’s a spacious, sturdy and versatile wooden three-level, five-room dollhouse with 19 pieces of wooden doll furniture.

6. Tinker Toys 

There is a tidbit of history behind the Tinker Toys. I included the Wikipedia link, so you can read about it. Note what inspired Charles H. Pajeau to design the Tinker Toys! Back then, the majority of children’s toys were what they could find around the house or yard to play with, and that included just about anything!

NB: There are diagrams in the box for building things. You can save these until the children are old enough to read the instructions themselves, and make the creations without driving you crazy!

What children did in the olden days is preferred for stimulating the imagination, but a few good toys are a lot of fun, too.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Join Elizabeth’s signature parenting course: Raise Your Child Well to Live A Triumphant Life. Enrollment is open through midnight, October 9, 2020.

Get your free copy of How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader? It comes with an 80+ book list of carefully chosen books to support your child’s intellectual development.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach, with 17 years experience working in children’s education, and a complimentary background in holistic medicine.

*All links used are Amazon affiliate links.

4 Keys to Raise a Decent Child in Indecent Times

Societal influences can make it easier or more difficult to raise a decent child. In today’s climate, it’s not always that easy, but there are some things you can do to ensure a better outcome.

When our children are young, we want to train them to do the right thing, so they develop the right habits in childhood and learn to make the right choices.

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

— Mark Twain

It begins with little things such as learning to pick up after themselves, doing chores before they play, being considerate of other people's needs, and having good manners.

Role Models

Good role models in a child’s life are essential too. If the parents treat each other courteously, if they are respectful to their family and friends, if they are honest and helpful with others, their children are more likely to follow suit.

Discipline

There is also a training through discipline that has to occur, too, as no child is born perfect no matter how good his or her role models may be.

Good parents can produce bad children; there are no guarantees that children turn out well.

You have a higher chance of having them grow up to be good people, however, if you understand how to train them in the ways of respect and obedience. 

Public School

Public school can undo your hard work, though, because rudeness and crudeness are now the norms, and the teachers have very little authority when it comes to correcting the children's behavior. 

This is telling in and of itself. Children sent to school for eight hours a day where the teachers are not allowed to discipline them are at a disadvantage to children who aren't.

In a home or private schools, adults have authority over the children and can discipline them as needed. The right training in childhood is essential to raising a well-mannered, happy child.

Spare the rod, spoil the child, was an old adage that adults used to repeat before the 60's cultural revolution when sound parenting principles were abandoned in favor of unproven new theories.

Modern Inconveniences

Today, we can add to the problem modern inconveniences such as vulgar films, ribald music, video games, social media, and inappropriate television programs, and you have a recipe for disappointment with your children.

Negative influences will unravel any good work you've done to raise your children well, which is why we need to be diligent with the environments we let influence our children.

The Ancient Greeks knew that negative influences in a child's life would help mold their character, and any educator since who has studied the classics or has an ounce of common sense, understands this too.

The rest of society has forgotten it, though, making us negligent in our duty to raise our children according to time-tested principles that work. 

A Dishonest Trend

Ninety-seven percent of schoolchildren are dishonest according to statistics gathered by Vickie Abeles, who produced the documentary, Race to Nowhere.

Even without the statistics, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that we are no longer an honest society. 

My son recently took a statistics exam online only to receive an email from the teacher the following day, announcing that it was clear some of the students had cheated on the exam. The teacher had tracked their activity to see if they changed tabs to find the answers during the exam.

My son said the exam was easy, too, making it an even more pathetic situation. 

College students cheating on an easy exam?

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

What happened to the concept of hard work and honesty? In this case, they didn't even have to study hard, but they still felt the need to cheat. 

Cheating is a habit for many children today.

When the lines between honesty and dishonesty become so blurred that cheating on exams becomes all too common, we have a serious problem. Cheaters are cheaters. Liars are liars. School doesn't end; real life begin, and these students suddenly turn honest again. 

They have become dishonest people. Their characters have formed this way because they are raised in a system that doesn't uphold the values of truth, goodness, and beauty; once so honored in the West.

In a Nutshell

Raise your children well, keep them out of public school, screen multi-media use when they are young (or eliminate it!), avoid inappropriate music, and surround them with natural beauty and good people.

If you do, you'll have accomplished something that is becoming more and more uncommon today; you’ll have raised decent children. That is, children who grow up with the ability to discern truth from falsehood, beauty from ugliness, and good from bad, and they’ll choose right more times than wrong.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Raise an intelligent and decent child by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy summer program and learn how to give your child an excellent education at home.

Join our waiting list for Elizabeth’s online course: Raise Your Child Well to Live a Life He Loves.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to help parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Why Are Children Struggling to Grow Up?

The other day I flew to Istanbul, and I had my eyes shut on the plane so I could rest a little. A child kept crying at the top of his lungs. Thinking he must be young, I wondered why his mother had left him alone like that.

But when I opened my eyes, I found he wasn't young at all. He looked like he was about nine-or-ten-years-old.

I often see older children behaving like two-or-three-year-olds and wonder how the parents can tolerate such difficult behavior. 

Why don't we teach our children to grow up? Is it because the messages parents receive today are not in the best interest of raising a child to become a mature, responsible adult?

Parents are told things like, "he'll grow out of his tantrums, just be patient," or "don't squash his spirit," or "that's so wonderful that you let him express his feelings." 

But are these the right messages? Do they pan out in real life?

No, they don't.

Bad Behavior

It's a myth that children grow out of bad behavior, but they do grow spoiled, ill-mannered, and impossible when they are not taught to behave correctly. 

Squash a Spirit

Yes, you can indeed squash a child's spirit if you aren't careful, but you don't squash a child's spirit by teaching him good manners. On the contrary, you'll give his spirit the freedom to soar because it won't be hindered with discontents that arise from expecting to get his way all the time.

Express One’s Feelings

Expressing one's feelings is a modern attitude that hasn't served us well either. Yes, one has feelings, and many emotions will be felt like love and joy and grief and sorrow. But a preoccupation with how we feel over the consideration of others will not support harmonious relationships. 

We are so concerned with our own feelings that we forget to concern ourselves with how our spouses might feel, how our children might feel, or how the person we just cut off on the freeway might feel.

I'm not suggesting that we should deny our feelings, but only that maybe we've gone a little too far in our preoccupation with teaching a child to "express" his feelings. 

The Buzz Word

We speak a lot about good character; it's become a sort of buzz word. We presume that teaching our children to understand their feelings will build their characters, but this is incorrect.

Children think very concretely, so trying to teach a four-year-old about his feelings is like teaching a horse to bark. Children can't understand abstract concepts like their "feelings."

Nor can we teach a child to have good character. We can raise a child to choose to behave well, but we can't make a child do anything. 

Ironically, the key to developing good character is to learn self-control. Without self-control, we are at the mercy of our passions. 

One approach to teaching a child a child self-control is to say no to your child more than you say yes. This approach has nothing to do with feelings and everything to do with reigning in one’s passions.

Ironically, children are happier when you say no to them more than you say yes. 

Consider this: to appreciate something truly, we have to get it in less frequent doses. When we have something all the time, we lose the ability to enjoy it as fully and deeply because we've forgotten what life was like without it.

It's one of the ironies in life, not being able to appreciate what we have with all of our heart until we no longer have it, especially when it comes to those we love.

A husband never appreciates his wife more than he does when she goes away for a weekend and leaves him with the children. A wife never appreciates her husband more than when he's away on a business trip, and she has no support at home.

And a child never appreciates an ice cream cone more than when he hasn't had one in a long time. 

“I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks.”

— William Shakespeare

It's not always convenient to say no to a child. You may have to deal with a tantrum, rude behavior in a public place, or something else which is why our default is usually a “yes”. 

But is it helpful in the long run? Not really. The extra time you take to say no and teach your child self-control will save you both a lot of grief later. You child may moan and groan, but over time he'll be a more content child because of it because he’ll have learned some self-control. 

Therefore, one of the ways to raise a happier child is to learn to say no to your child more than you say yes. Teach him to accept things as they come, even when they are the opposite of what he expects them to be.

And teach him to appreciate what he has by giving him less of it.

Adopt this simple parenting habit, and you will help your child grow into a mature adult and live a more content life. 

Children are too indulged today, which is why they are struggling to grow up. 

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Homeschool the smart way by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy summer program to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home.

Join our waiting list for Elizabeth’s online course: Raise Your Child Well to Live a Life He Loves.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to help parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Replacing Ritalin with Discipline Quickly Cures Behavior Disorders

You may be worried that your unmanageable child has a behavioral disorder or maybe a teacher has suggested as much.

What you are not told is that the cure for his difficult behavior may be as easy as a spoonful of discipline.

The Facts

According to John Rosemond, MS and Bose Ravenel, MD, "No studies to date have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that impulsivity and short attention span - the two primary symptoms of ADHD - result from physical problems or chemical imbalances in the brain."

“The ADHD Establishment would be hard-pressed to explain how, of all the American cultural groups that share a common European heritage, only the Amish have managed to not become infected with the elusive ADHD gene.”

— Rosemond and Ravenel

Rosemond and Ravenel wrote an entire book on the subject called The Diseasing of America's Children: Exposing the ADHD Fiasco and Empowering Parents to Take Back Control, in which they make a strong case for old-fashioned discipline. 

If you have a child who is suspect for one of the three primary behavior disorder diseases, namely ADHD, ODD, or EOBD*, you will be wise to grab a copy of their book.

The Why

Have you ever wondered why before the progressive 1960's cultural revolution, we have no records of behavior disorders that weren't quickly eradicated by not sparing the rod?

Then, as if children had suddenly changed, behavior disorders as disease were added to the DSM manual. 

Now, instead of discipline, children are given medication for their behavior.

We are neglecting to treat the real problem, which is that children are failing to grow up because we have lost the art of raising them well. 

The Problem

When little Susie throws a tantrum in the middle of the department store because she wants a toy, instead of grabbing little Susie by the hand, marching her out of the store, and plopping her into the back seat of your car to let her belt it out, what do we do? 

We try to talk some sense into her while shopping as she continues disturbing the peace.

We may even begin to bribe her with ice cream when she gets home if she promises to stop crying. We might even give her what she wants because we don't have the time or energy to deal with her behavior. 

When Johnny fails to focus long enough to follow our homework instructions or do some chores, what do we do? 

We begin to wonder if his lack of focus has a more sinister cause.

When Adam impulsively pushes his little sister or grabs a toy from another child, we begin to wonder, "Why is he so impulsive?

Could it be?"

These kind of children become prime candidates in school for being singled-out for a behavioral disorder diagnosis. The next step is to send the child for further evaluation. The psychiatrist or psychologist then notes in medical shorthand the following symptoms:

• Short attention span

• Lack of self-control; impulsive

• Difficulty staying on task

• Impatient

• Tantrums

• Easily frustrated

• Defiant 

• Irresponsible

The Oversight

What the psychiatrist or psychologist fails to recognize is that these are also the symptoms of a toddler's "terrible two" behavior.

According to Rosemond and Ravenel, the medical expert has failed to recognize the obvious.

As a consequence of the progressive parenting theories that began to surface in the 1960s, children no longer learn the rules of civil behavior lest we harm their self-esteem.

“The postmodern, non-theistic religion of self-esteem has spawned a host of problems for America’s children.”

— Rosemond and Ravenel

Consequently, incompetent parenting is mistaken for a behavior disorder that requires medication.

Proving how inconclusive the studies around behavior disorders are, and the impossibility of diagnosing a "chemical imbalance," Rosemond and Ravenel encourage parents to ignore the pharmaceutical cry that something is wrong with their child and look to improve their parenting skills instead.

The Reality

Prior to the 1960’s, only 1 - 3% of the population were diagnosed with problems outside the range of normal. If your child is displaying terrible two symptoms beyond the age of the terrible two's, save yourself the time and expense by self-diagnosing the problem for what it is: lax parenting. 

Teach your child good manners and the code of civil conduct, and you'll see his behavior disorders miraculously disappear. A good place to start is with “please” and “thank you.”

“Look at me when I speak to you and listen,” is also good.

And, "Go to your room until you can behave," never failed anyone.

*Disclaimer: You are the best judge of your child. If you think there is a medical issue, seek medical help. But if you suspect lax parenting is at the root of your child’s behavior, then learning to lead your child with love and authority is where you want to start.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

How To Teach Your Child To love Reading

In the current school system, they've lost the spirit of reading and reading is just another subject to be tested on. Children are taught to read too early, too, which hinders their chances of falling in love with reading for its own sake. 

“A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.”

— Mark Twain

If you want your child to become a good reader, you should teach him/her to read when they are developmentally ready, and reading should be something they learn to do for pleasure.

Not to pass an exam. 

If you have young children, then you are probably much younger than I and, therefore, you were probably not taught to read the same way I was taught. 

Let me share my reading experience with you in the hopes that you might imitate it with your own children and raise good readers despite this illiterate time. 

It will be a mammoth feat if you can do it. I believe you can. 

Here's My Story:

What My School Taught

Miss. Gilman was my first-grade teacher, and she taught me to read when I was six. 

Maybe it was her high-heeled black pumps that let you know she was headed your way, or her bright red lipstick that never seemed to fade, but I was a little afraid of Miss Gilman. I was also in awe of her. I think we all were.

I have no recollection of struggling to learn, only that she gave us our instructions and within days I was reading. Learning how to read unlocked the door to another world for me, a world of fascinating characters where anything and everything was possible. 

I would get lost in my books for hours, and for hours every day, I got lost. 

One thing was sure back then: reading was never treated as a chore. It was never something we did for school work. We read to enjoy the story as it unfolded in our minds, and as we fell in love with certain characters in our books.

Each book I read became my favorite book. Each character left its mark in my memory, influencing my ideas about the world and who I was.

No Assigned Reading

We were never assigned books to read. Instead, we were taken to the school library and allowed to choose books that we wanted to read. 

No Book Reports

Miss Gilman never asked me to write a single book report. During my elementary years, I don't remember writing a book report for any of my teachers. 

No Testing

That was my experience learning to read in school. No reading assignments. No book reports. No testing.

Freedom to choose from a selection of books.

My life at home supported Miss Gilman's approach to reading too.

What My Home Taught

At home, books were treated as something special. My father modeled reading for us as he always had a book in his hand. Not just any book, but a classic book, and those were the books he would gift us with too. 

He introduced us to the great Western canon of literature. We even had a library in our house, a room that was lined with built-in shelves and dedicated entirely to books. 

In both school and the home, reading was introduced to me as something enjoyable. I looked forward to reading like I would look forward to riding my bike or playing with a friend. 

Today's children don't look forward to reading, and they hardly read anymore. There are multiple reasons for this; one of them is the way learning to read taught to schoolchildren. 

Children are taught to read when they are still too young, they grow frustrated because of it, and they subsequently develop a negative association with reading.

Not all children, but too many children. When was the last time you saw a child reading in public? For me, it was four years ago. I remember precisely where too. 

I was going into Home Goods, and as I entered through the doors, my eyes fell on a little girl curled up in a couch, and she had a open book in her hand. 

I haven't witnessed a child reading in public since.

Contributing further to a decline in reading are the tests children are given to determine their reading skills and the boring book reports they are required to write. 

To add insult to injury, too many children lose confidence in their intelligence when their level of reading is less than others in the class.

Why do we teach a skill so vital to acquiring knowledge in such a careless way? If children are not good readers today, shouldn't we try to understand why and correct the problem?

But we don't. Instead, we carry on making the same mistakes we've been making ever since children decided that reading wasn't worth their time. 

Be a prudent parent by teaching your child to love reading before you put him/her into the school system. 

Don't take the chance of letting the school mess up the one skill that will ultimately impact your child's level of intelligence and understanding. 

Dumbed-Down was the phrase John Taylor Gatto used in the title his book about the miseries of public education.

What Your Homeschool Will Teach

If you're homeschooling, your chances of raising a good reader are much, much higher than if you put your child into school. 

No tests. No book reports. No assigned reading until they are older.

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”

— Cicero

Model reading for your children. Surround your home with great books. Discuss books with other adults and let your children overhear your conversations. Give books a priority in your home, and your children will learn to prioritize books.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Homeschool the smart way by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time towards helping parents get it right.

5 Tips to Help You Find Enjoyment in Homeschooling

Have you had homeschooling thrust on you, and you're now monitoring a child who's learning online?

While it may seem overwhelming to you now, you can arrange things in a way that makes the process enjoyable and rewarding.

Let me share some facts with you that will put things into perspective and make homeschooling an easier task.

Tip #1: One-on-One Learning Is More Efficient

Children will learn so fast when taught one-on-one that you will have to make an effort to get them behind if you want them to go slower than the pace of public school.

For the twelve years we are bound to the public school system as students, we graduate with very little intellectual knowledge.

If you took a homeschooled child and taught him solidly for eight hours a day, you would be on your way to having an intellectual genius on your hands. 

We do not homeschool for eight hours a day, though, at least not the academic subjects. Our children study anywhere from one to four hours a day of strictly academic material. Maybe more as they get older, but in the elementary years, it isn't necessary because their skills are few.

Compare this to the pinnacle of our literacy rates back in the 19th century when a child's priority was to help on the farm out of a survival need, so he wasn't in school nine months out of the year. Sometimes he would only be in school for a few months per year.

And still, our literacy rates were higher than they are today. It’s the same with homeschooling.

If you are overwhelmed and frightened that you can't do it all, then don't try to do it all. Your children will be fine. Shut down the computer, give your child some good books to read, and take a break.

He'll learn more with a few good books to read in the afternoon than he will be sitting in front of the computer all day.

The online learning programs in and of themselves are dismal failures. There are plenty of studies on this. The tech industry has a huge lobby behind them, and the industry is fabulously wealthy, so they continue to sell us on their alleged success despite not having any.

That's what marketing is all about, isn't it? They made a science out of selling us things that we don't need.

Tip #2: You Cannot Do It All

Do you have multiple children at home? 

Families spend so much time apart now that they don't know how to spend time together day after day after day. You may be experiencing this now.

What's happening with the lockdown in place is that we are facing this tragic fact. Instead of accepting it as a norm, we should realize that it isn't a norm at all. It is anything but normal for families not to know how to live in close quarters together. Families should work together, enjoy time together, and help each other out.

But siblings are separated at an early age and put into school programs, and they don't have the time to develop close relationships with one another. Both parents are working full-time. Few of us have extended family close by. Such are the stresses on modern families today.

Here's one thing you can do now that you are all at home together. If you have older children, teach them to care for your younger children. Getting your older children to help will be the best thing for them.

The one thing that guarantees you raise a decent human being is service. Teach your children to serve others, so they think less of themselves and more about the needs of others. 

The more they learn to care for other people, whether older or younger, the more giving they will become as adults. Generosity and kindness are virtues to be admired. Selfishness is not. 

Don't feel guilty that you can't do it all. Get your older children to help you; you are doing them and the rest of the world a huge favor when you do.

Tip #3: You Can Say No to Online Learning 

Get your children offline. I'm sorry to be blunt about it, but it is about the worst thing you can do. I understand it's the only option you've been given, and I don't blame you at all for taking it. What else were you supposed to do?

But it's clear to all of us that this situation is not going away anytime soon. My daughter is a student at UC Berkeley, and they are now talking about extending the quarantine through the fall. Some colleges have already done this. 

With this plan in motion, they expect you to buy into this substandard virtual schooling for your children: don't do it. 

The people behind these virtual schools don't understand education let alone homeschooling, and they never will. These are businessmen, not educators. They know how to make money, and they are raking in millions if not billions. (I think it is actually billions collectively.)

You can pull your child out of public school any time you want. You are not obligated to put your child into public school, and you are certainly not being forced to plop your child in front of a computer all day. 

You have to follow specific protocols when you take your child out of school, but that's no big deal. Legally you are within your rights to homeschool in all 50 states. If you need more help, pop me an email.

Most of you have no choice but to homeschool through what may become a recurring lockdown, so you may as well enjoy it. That's the way I look at it. You should find a way to enjoy it, and you should find a way to teach your children things that are worth learning.

Real books would be the perfect place to start. Read real books to your child written by authors who knew how to write. 

Tip #4: You Have to Make a Daily Schedule 

Set a schedule up for when you will homeschool, when you do chores and other domestic duties. The more you plan ahead and learn to maximize your time, the more you will get done.

Tip #5 It Does Matter What Your Children Read

Get your children reading books throughout the day that have not been dumbed-down for an illiterate society. I hear parents say things like, “Well, yes, he’s reading comic books, but at least he’s reading.”

Comic books are fine now and then, but they will not help your chid develop the skill of reading well.

Resist the intellectual malaise we find ourselves in today. If you want your children to become good readers, you need to provide them with quality books to read. 

Feel free to grab a copy of the Smart Homeschooler book list of over 80 intelligent books to expand your child's mind with. 

If you get your children off of the computer and put a book in their hand, I promise you that everyone will have a much better time, and your stress levels will plummet. 

Throw in a grammar lesson and some math, and you'll become a better homeschooler than any online school could ever hope to be.

I’m placing my bet on you.

I've seen it done many times before. I've done it myself. You can too. 

Embrace homeschooling, embrace your family, and find the enjoyment in learning and being together. The enjoyment is there but the onus is on us to discover it. These four rules should serve as a good place to start.

Homeschool the smart way by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time towards helping parents get it right.

Homeschooling with a Toddler Tugging at Your Skirt

Some parents are afraid to homeschool when they have a newborn or toddler, and other parents homeschool without thinking twice about it. 

Life is messy, but it's okay, is a helpful mindset to have when you have young children under the age of two. 

While it may be challenging to imagine homeschooling with a toddler if you've never homeschooled before, the reality is that it's manageable.

Before a child reaches age two, you'll probably work at a slower pace with your homeschooled children than you did previously unless you've trained your children to work well independently, or you can hire help.

Homeschoolers should be adept at self-study and able to work on their own; this is a large part of the homeschooling education. 

As your youngest child grows older and becomes more independent, make sure that he (she) doesn't get into the habit of expecting you by his side night and day. If you can foster his independence, you should be fine. 

It's when parents don't wean their child off of thinking the parent is there to serve them that the parent's then feel overwhelmed. They get less done because they are still at the 'beck and call' of the youngest child who will naturally become very demanding.

Assuming you’re not daunted by the idea of homeschooling with a toddler tugging at your skirt, here are a few strategies you can use to keep him occupied and lessen the chance of being interrupted while you're teaching your older children.

1) Have a special box with toys that only come out during lesson time. This box is his (her) special box that he looks forward to playing with. It should keep him occupied for a long time.

2) Make sure you give him one-on-one time before you begin teaching the others and give him some attention on the breaks.

3) After the age of three, teach him not to interrupt you. When he does, just put him back and remind him that you're teaching. 

As a general rule of thumb, a child past the age of three should be able to entertain himself for about an hour. I can attest to this first-hand because my children played for hours when they were young without interruption.

4) If necessary, hang a sign up that lets him know he cannot interrupt you until you take it down. You can hang a red sheet of construction paper on the door for "don't interrupt" and a green sheet that tells him you're available. 

If worse comes to worst, set a timer and put him in his room for a minute or two while you stand by. The point is to train him not to interrupt you as early as possible.

If the time-out sounds severe, consider this: how much more troubling will it be for him to see you annoyed and irritated every time he interrupts you? 

He's too young to understand why you're annoyed, but he's not too young to know that you're unhappy with him.

Why get into the habit with him when it is so easy to avoid? 

5) The most crucial key is to keep technology out of sight. There is no greater de-motivator of exploration and wonder than the television or smartphone.

Your children will not learn how to entertain themselves in you allow them to engage in screen use, and you will find yourself in a constant battle with them over it, which only gets worse as they grow older.

Spare yourself and your child from going down this fast road to misery. 

The facts are that many homeschoolers have large families with infants and toddlers, but that doesn't deter them from homeschooling. If anything, the more, the merrier.

You can do it if you develop the mindset that it's all right if every day doesn't go as planned, and that some chaos is par for the course when you have a child under the age of two.

Try to embrace these years with open arms instead of resistance and resentment, because they'll be over before you know it, and you'll wish you could have them back.

Are you thinking of homeschooling, but don't think you can do it with a toddler in tow?

Muster up your courage, get a plan in place, and homeschool as if you have no alternative because your child will get a better education at home.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

10 Books Every Concerned Parent Should Read

The world is a little topsy-turvy right now especially when it comes to raising and educating our children.

The following books were carefully chosen as a guide to help you navigate some of the issues you will face as a parent living in the West.

1. Hold On to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate, M.D.

In trying to understand why children no longer revere their parents in the same way that my parent's generation revered their parents, I turned to Neufeld and Mate's book, Hold On to Your Kids.

Part of the answer lies within the pages of this book and will help you understand why peer pressure is so real, and how you can lose your children to peer pressure. It also contains some suggestions for how to protect the bond between you and your children. 

While their solutions are somewhat naive, if I may be so bold as to say that, the authors delineate a very real situation that every parent should understand.

2. Recovering the Lost Tools of Learning by Dorothy Sayers

This essay is Dorothy Sayer's famous critique of modern education using her great wit and brilliant insight. It's amusing as well as informative.

To raise the standard for your child's education, you need first to understand what level of academic work he's capable of doing. There's no better way to do this than to ignore the standards of modern education, and, instead, look at what school children used to learn. 

3. The Disappearance of Childhood by Neil Postman

Neil Postman was a perceptive social critic who argued that childhood was disappearing. The reason for the disappearance was the blurred lines that technology created by exposing children to the adult world too soon.

With the loss of childhood also came the loss of adulthood, which continues to present a significant problem for our society's ability to remain civil. 

4. Gwynne's Latin by N. M. Gwynne - The Introduction

Mr. Gwynne is an expert on the subject of the Latin language. He tells stories of having studied Latin for 90 minutes a day, five days a week as a schoolboy.

By the time I (and later, you) went to school, they had eliminated Latin from the curriculum. To our detriment, too, because without the study of Latin, you can never fully understand or appreciate the English language. 

People who learn Latin are better educated. It's a simple fact. The reason you should read his introduction to his Latin book is that he will give you an irrefutable argument for why you should have your children learn Latin. You can study it, too, as I do–it's never too late.

5. The Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto

Gatto's opus work tells the story of how a sub-standard modern education came to be, and why you must understand it's origins so you can make informed decisions for your children when it comes to deciding how you want to educate them. 

I prefer Gatto's original work over the newly revised work of the same title. Buy a copy of the older book, if you can. His newer version was written during his last years, and intended as a three-volume set, but, sadly, he never finished it. 

6. The Platonic Tradition by Peter Kreeft

You may be wondering why I included this title? It's vital to Western civilization that we understand the ideas upon which our civilization was built so that we can protect them when they're under threat of being undermined as they are today.

We also need to pass this understanding onto our children, so they are not easily swayed by the high falutin rhetoric that robs us of our civil liberties under the guise of equality. Kreeft's book will correct the errors in understanding that brought us to where we are today.

7. Glow Kids by Nicholas Kardaras, Ph.D.

A ground-breaking book that exposes the technology industry for what it is, and the harm it's inflicting on our children during their most vulnerable years. Protect your child by reading this book and passing it on to your friends to read. We need a no-tech revolution, at least no tech in the lives of children. 

8. How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren

The title seems like an oxymoron, but it's not. The authors acknowledge our ability to read but also our failure to read with deep understanding. We were never taught the skill of reading beyond a rudimentary level, and this is the gap How to Read a Book attempts to fill. 

They will show you how to tackle a book in a way that will make it your own. Especially if you plan on homeschooling, you want to learn this skill so you can teach it to your children when they get older. 

9. Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto

Dumbing Us Down was Gatto's landmark book when he first entered the world of non-schooling education. He writes an easy-to-read book about the problems with modern education and why you should consider alternatives to a "school-like" training for your child.

Whether you do or not, you should understand the system so you can help your child navigate it if you decide to put him or her into school.

10. The Leipzig Connection by Paolo Lionni

How modern psychology removed the soul from the study of psychology and then coupled that soul-less subject with the department of modern education and the subsequent impact it has had on children's education. An important read!

Some of these books are inexpensive, some are more expensive, but they are all worth reading.

Receive a free download with the titles and links to 10 Books Every Concerned Parent Should Read.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

What Do Banana and Honey Sandwiches Have to Do with Literacy?

Neil Postman made an argument in 1982 that childhood was disappearing because multi-media erased the boundary between what adults knew and what children knew.

In the same vein, he warned us, so is adulthood disappearing.

A pathetic statistic is that adult television shows cater to the mentality of a twelve-year-old child, according to Postman, who wrote the prescient book, The Disappearance of Childhood.

Isn’t that mortifying?!

The literate world of adults was the boundary that separated children from adults. With everyone plugged into the same immature television shows, and few people reading today, that boundary is disappearing.

Childhood / adulthood aren’t the only things at risk of becoming obsolete. We call ourselves a literate society, but are we, really?

When we declared ourselves a literate country, there was no television and, if you could read, you read at more sophisticated levels because it was pre-dumbed-down America.

This is no longer true. Writers who write for the average public intentionally use less vocabulary and shorter sentences to meet the demands of a populace of poor readers.

Yet, if we understand the mechanics of reading and writing at a basic level, we’re classified as literate even if we can’t do either well.

Someone who can barely run around the block, however, can hardly be called a runner. Someone who can barely hit the ball over the net can hardly be called a tennis player, someone who knows how to make a hotdog can hardly be called a cook.

We aren’t labeled a runner, a tennis player, or a cook until we can perform at an intermediate level, at least. Until then, we’re learning how to do said skill.

Out of curiosity, I looked up UNESCO's definition of literacy. Not surprisingly, the definition changed around the time institutionalized schooling took root.

UNESCO used to define literacy as an ability to read and write (presumably well) to the following mumbo jumbo:

Literacy is the ability to identify, understand, interpret, create, communicate and compute, using printed and written materials associated with varying contexts. Literacy involves a continuum of learning in enabling individuals to achieve their goals, to develop their knowledge and potential, and to participate fully in their community and wider society (UNESCO, 2004; 2017).

“You can teach children to hate reading, to do it poorly, and to hate themselves for not measuring up to the false premises of institutional reading practices–premises which provide the foundation of our multi-billion dollar reading industry.”

— John Taylor Gatto - The Exhausted School

If we redefine literacy to include only those people who were proficient readers, and by proficient reader I mean someone who could read, discuss and write about a piece of work such as The Federalists Papers or The Iliad, we'd have to conclude that we're mostly an illiterate society.

Before you decide my suggestion is literacy ad absurdum, consider this: 

Our standards for literacy are so low that if an adult can read a simple newspaper article and underline what the swimmer ate, we classify him as literate.

Lest you think I'm being facetious, here's a question, taken from a newspaper article, that was on the National Adult Literacy Test: 

Q. Underline the sentence that tells what Ms. Chanin ate during the swim.

A. A spokesman for the swimmer, Roy Brunett, said Chanin had kept up her strength with "banana and honey sandwiches, hot chocolate, lots of water and granola bars."

As long as someone can make out the spelling of banana, which is not difficult to do, he can figure out that this is the correct sentence to underline.

But is this the right approach? Shouldn’t we raise the standards, so we educate our children to become adults who can tackle difficult reading material?

You probably have school-age children whose education you’re concerned about. These are the years when you want to put a lot of effort into training your children's minds.

You can train them to run intellectual circles around the rest of us, or you can train them to underline what a swimmer ate; the choice is yours.

Let me offer you a hand by sharing a few strategies you can use to keep the door of knowledge open for your children:

Make It Easy

With any bad habit we try to break, the first step is to get rid of the obstacles keeping us from adopting the new habit. In this case, we should start with our screens.

A movie on the weekends for older children is plenty, if they ask. Other than that, keep the screens tucked away someplace. 

To take this step requires an understanding that if you want more for your child, if you want him to rise above the less-than-mediocre standards today, then you will need to make some sacrifices. 

Let me ask you a question: do you have a television in your living room so you can watch the news every evening?

For many of us, keeping screens hidden is a burden because they're so much a part of our lives now. We depend upon them for many things such as answers to quick questions, the latest news, and frying our brains.

Speaking of frying our brains, the other day I went to a piano recital where my son was performing. The recitals are usually in a church, and so there's an unspoken understanding that it isn't a place for chitchat or smartphones. But this last recital was in the Steinway piano store.

We got there just before it started, so we had no choice but to sit in the back. It turned out that the back of the room was where all the parenting smartphone addicts sat. My God, the number of mothers glued to their phones was astounding.

The only time they looked up was when their own child performed. 

They have no idea what they missed.

Anyhow books (nor piano recitals) can successfully compete with screen time. It's a known fact which anyone can easily test without leaving home. 

Find Inspiring Friends

Find like-minded families to raise your children with; people who will support your values and your high standards rather than undermine them. (And be that family for someone else.)

Company matters.

If you can't find like-minded families, start talking about your concerns until someone will listen, but don't give up. Someone will eventually listen and be brave enough to do what Neil Postman advises us to do, go against the culture.

“There are parents who are committed to doing all of these things [no screens], who are in effect defying the directives of their cultures. Such parents are not only helping their children to have a childhood but are, at the same time, creating a sort of intellectual elite. ”

— Neil Postman

If our culture is producing mediocrity, then we can't do what everyone else is doing. We have to muster up the courage to go against the grain of society.

To become a truly rebellious spirit, line your walls with good books and start reading everyday to your children. If you aren't a reader yourself, have faith that you can become one.

Many people who weren’t formerly good readers chose to become good readers in adulthood, but it takes determination and perseverance. 

You can do it. I know people who have.

Everything is in a state of flux; you are either flexing the noodle between your ears and making it stronger, or you aren't. 

Create a culture of wonder and learning in your home. Have intelligent discussions with your children about the great ideas, history, science, literature, philosophy, and so forth.

Raising and educating children today takes a lot of work; it always did. We're used to delegating the task to the government with the consequence of getting a child who is not all that he or she could be. 

Mediocre is not the same as excellent or, for that matter, even very good.

The brain is a phenomenal organ, and it grows with the right kind of stimulation. It houses the mind like the body houses the soul.

Let it be a great mind.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

Raise a Smarter Kid with This Simple Practice

The Practice

A strong memory is the foundation of high intelligence. Having young children to memorize rhymes and poetry is an excellent way to develop their memories and their intellects.

Once they are in the formal years of instruction, you can have them memorize wise maxims and worthy passages from different books too. 

Children who are raised with the habit of doing memory work will become accustomed to it, and not shy away from it when they're older. Young children particularly love to memorize anything, so this is the prime time to do memory work with them.

“Let us not then lose even the earliest period of life, and so much the less, as the elements of learning depend on the memory alone, which not only exists in children, but is at that time of life even most tenacious.”

— Marcus Fabius Quintilianus

They won't see it as a difficult task or an impossible task like children do today, but they'll tackle it with determination, and they'll succeed which will have the added effect of building their confidence.

A Declining Skill

A useful skill that memorization teaches us is the ability to focus. In an age of constant distraction, focusing on anything for more than a second is under siege. 

There is no quicker way to lay waste to our memories than by distraction. If we aren't present in our actions and our thoughts, we shall fail to store them in our minds. This is true for our children too.

As mothers, we tend to set a bad example for our children on this point. It happens when we have young children demanding our attention while we're trying to focus on something else.

We get pulled into too many directions, which is why you often hear women complain of a declining memory after they have children. 

(Protecting your memory is another good reason to raise your children to figure things out for themselves, and thereby reduce the number of times you're interrupted during the day.)

We want to protect our children from having weak memories by starting them with memory work even before they begin grade school. Around age four would be a good time to start.

A Happy Spirit

Keep it light and fun though–you never want to put undue pressure on a child’s budding heart.

Read rhymes over and over again, and your children will memorize them without effort. Read age-appropriate poetry to your children and have them learn short stanzas by heart.

When you go to the grocery store, introduce a memory game. Have your children memorize the shopping list. You can learn it, too, and then see who remembers most of the items on the list. 

Children love this game especially since they usually win!

Learn by Heart

Memory work, or learning by heart, as it was once called, was a vital component of the Ancient Greek and Roman education. The Greeks and Romans had sophisticated memory tools to facilitate the learning by heart of epic poems.

For example, every school child in Ancient Greece would learn The Iliad and The Odyssey by heart. 

When children learn things by heart, it also helps to form their characters and their world views, which is precisely why the Greeks had their children learn epic poems about their heroes by heart.

“Learning by heart’, which speaks to the soul, has been replaced by ‘rote-learning’ and ‘learning by rote’, which are disparaging and off-putting terms that have the effect of making memorizing into a matter of using the brain as a piece of machinery.”

— Mr. Gwynne

Today, we don't have children learn anything by heart in school anymore. Not only this, but we use the term “rote” memorization and speak condescendingly of it.

Did you learn anything by heart? I never did. 

The Memory Disadvantage

Yet, the memory is a crucial component of our intelligence. People who have weaker memories are at an intellectual disadvantage over those who have strong memories.

Why would we raise our children to be at a disadvantage when they're natural inclination is to develop their memories? 

It's like preventing a child from learning to walk. Why would we physically handicap them? We wouldn’t, nor should we handicap them intellectually by failing to train their memories.

It's our job as parents and teachers to provide our children with memory work, yet, we overlook this vital element to education because "rote" memorizing is not an effective way to teach.

Rote memory work, as Mr. Gwynne points out, is not the proper term anyway. Learning by heart is a much more humane way to look at an easy method of training your child's mind to do great things. 

In our misguided efforts to spare our children the boredom of memory work, are we not dumbing them down?

Have you got your free copy of How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader? It comes with an 80+ book list of carefully chosen books to support your child’s intellectual development.

Join Elizabeth’s signature parenting course: Raise Your Child Well to live a life he loves.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Teach Your Children to Cook!

In each home, around in the world, there is nothing more comforting than the smell of delightful aromas coming from the kitchen.

Yet, so many girls and boys are coming of age and do not know how to cook. What's more, young women seem to see it as a sign of their liberation. 

Being dependent upon other people for food is not a sign of liberation; it's a sign that you don't know how to do something as fundamental as providing a home-cooked meal for yourself, nor for anyone else. 

“If you are a chef, no matter how good a chef you are, it’s not good cooking for yourself; the joy is in cooking for others - it’s the same with music.”

— will.i.am

The irony is that children love to cook. Why are they coming-of-age bereft of this skill? Let's not dwell on the reasons here, but let's work quickly to fix the problem.

7 Easy Steps to Teach Your Child how to Cook

Step 1) Correct the Problem

It begins with you. If you're a mother who is not providing nourishing meals for her family, you must first learn to correct this.

(The variables of family are too numerous today to keep up with, hence, we'll take the less-complicated version: mom cooks and dad brings home the bread.)

YouTube is full of chefs dying to teach you how to cook. By studying two or three of their recipes, you will completely change the environment in your home and be cooking 5-star meals before you know it. 

Now that your children have a role model to emulate, you can begin to teach little John and little Mary how to cook a meal or two.

Step 2) First Teach Them Only What Their Hands Can Do

In the beginning, you'll have them do things like shell peas and tear up lettuce for the salad. Before they are old enough to be responsible with a knife, you'll have them do any task that doesn't involve sharp items.

Step 3) Peeling Progression

Around the age of six, you can show them how to peel potatoes, carrots, cucumbers, and anything else you can think of. Let the peeling of anything become their domain. 

By the way, these are not chores. Helping to prepare the food should be seen as fun time in the kitchen with mom (which means that you should NEVER complain about having to make dinner).

Step 4) Salad’s On

By the age of seven or eight, if not sooner, they should be able to prepare a salad on their own. Give your children the task of making the salad once or twice a week, or more often if you prefer. 

Step 5) Carbs Galore

Next come the preparation and cooking of the rice and potatoes. This next step involves the stovetop, so they have to be old enough to handle a flame. If you have a gas top, the pressing concern here is that they are responsible and focused enough to remember to turn the flame all the way off. 

If not, you should supervise them until they are. In the meantime, show your children how to rinse the rice. Next, show them how to measure the water, bring the rice to a boil, cover and let simmer for 20 minutes. There are tricks to making a perfect bowl of rice, so if you know these tricks (I don't), then be sure to include them. 

Next, they can learn to make mashed potatoes. They peel, wash, and boil the potatoes. Drain the potatoes (you may have to help here, because the pan may be too heavy for them), add butter and milk and mash. If you don't like mashing potatoes, the good news is that children love it. You will never have to mash potatoes again.

Step 6) The Big Fish

Next, show them how to prepare the main dish. I recommend beginning with fish, which is less complicated to prepare. Show John and Jane how to wash the fish, put it in a baking dish, make the sauce, pour it over the fish, and cook it. 

Step 7) Early Graduation

Once they complete all three of these steps successfully, you are now ready to grant your children the privilege of cooking an entire meal. They should be around nine or ten by this time (could be sooner!).

You now get to sit back, enjoy a cup of tea and some conversation with your spouse, and wait for what will soon be a delicious meal.

Moving forward, let your children take over the kitchen at least one night during the week to learn how to master the art of cooking and to give yourself a break. 

“A chef’s palate is born out of his childhood, and one thing all chefs have in common is a mother who can cook.”

— Marco Pierre White

By the time your children are 11 and 13, they should be able to handle an entire Thanksgiving dinner for ten people all by themselves. 

I only know this because when my children were these ages, I was recovering from the flu and not up to cooking our annual Thanksgiving dinner. 

I was lying in bed the day before Thanksgiving, and, while not contagious anymore, I was still exhausted. My intention was to call my guests that morning and let them know that I  wouldn't be able to host the Thanksgiving dinner that year.

My daughter came in quietly and said in a low voice, Mom, do you think I could make the Thanksgiving dinner, so we don't have to cancel our party?"

"Do you think you can handle it?" I ask, quite frankly, incredulously. 

"Yes," I'm sure I can."

"Then I think it's a fabulous idea!"

“Always remember: If you’re alone in the kitchen and you drop the lamb, you can always just pick it up. Who’s going to know?”

— Julia Child

Truthfully, and I'm not the kind of mother who exaggerates her children's accomplishments, but it was one of the best Thanksgiving dinners ever. 

The other point to mention is that, at their ages, it would never have occurred to me that they could handle a meal of this magnitude. 

Homeschooled kids, I have found, are like this. Nothing is ever too big to tackle. By the time they reach the teens, if homeschooled well, they will know how to teach themselves just about anything one can learn, within reason. 

One warning, though: while your children are capable of cooking a full meal long before they will be ready to move out, you don't want to give up your place in the kitchen for more than one or two nights a week. 

There will never be anything as comforting as "mom" in the kitchen, whipping up a fabulous meal. No one can fill the shoes of your child's mother, ever. 

They're your shoes to walk in; enjoy the journey.

Don’t miss your copy of:  Top Ten YouTube Cooking Channels. With the download, you’ll also get a link to a great film about a famous chef that’s guaranteed to inspire you.

Join Elizabeth’s signature parenting course: Raise Your Child Well to live a life he loves.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.