Homeschool Your Child to Think Like a Leader→

There are many advantages to homeschooling, and one of them is leadership.

When done right, homeschooling your kids should lead them to a state of personal sovereignty, a word John Taylor Gatto used often. In other words, raise your kids to march to their own beat, or, as John liked to advise us, to be the writer of their own script.

“You either learn your way towards writing your own script in life, or you unwittingly become an actor in someone else’s script.”

— John Taylor Gatto, Author, Distinguished Educator

There are a few strategies to know if you want to reach this goal which I’ll share with you. These strategies will assist you in giving your child a serious education, not a public-school education

#1 Know your objective

Assuming your long-term objective is to provide your child with an excellent education and the tools to think independently, you want to be clear about his educational goals.

For each school year, you will need to know what you want your child to accomplish for that year. For each subject, you will need to decide what your child should learn about that subject. 

Don’t cut any corners here as planning is everything.

A lot of thought should go into you homeschool plan. If we are going to reach any goals in life, we must be intentional and have a map of how we will get there. Intentional homeschoolers plan out the school year and know their end-year objectives.

#2. Be Flexible

Your child will become interested in subjects you may not have anticipated. Even though you have prepared a homeschool plan, you've got to be flexible enough to shift when the winds change direction.

Any time your child becomes interested in something, that's when you want to teach it. We learn best when we are motivated to learn. A desire to know something motivates us.

There are things your child must know, such as how to read. There is no way around it, but there are things you will not have on the schedule that he may show an interest in. Usually you can be more flexible with subjects, such as science, history, and literature.

Adjust your schedule to your child’s interests when it makes sense to do so. This should not interfere with your goals, but enhance them.

#3 Have High Expectations

Don't expect mediocrity from your child. Let me tell you a story to illustrate this: I met two brothers in a hotel in Gocek, Turkey; a yachting town on the Mediterranean. They were from Israel, and they were somewhere in their 70's.

Gocek, Turkey, 2020

I was having breakfast when they sat down at the table next to me.  We got to chatting about how the Jewish people are known for being very intelligent. They said it was because they had superior genes! I asked them to tell me about their childhoods.

I explained that I worked in children's education and, contrary to what they thought, I didn’t believe that they possessed superior genes! Jewish children must be raised in a way that nurtured their intelligence.

Both of their faces lit up, and they said passionately, "Our mothers drill it into us from an early age that we are going to grow up to be an engineer or a doctor or something of importance. We are raised to understand that anything short of this isn’t an option!"

They were laughing as they said it, but it was obviously an impressionable part of their childhood. They were raised to reach the top. Mediocre expectations were not a part of their upbringing.

With all due respect to natural ability, people who excel often do so because it was expected of them or someone inspired them to excel when they were young.

“I’ve come to believe that genius is an exceedingly common human quality, probably natural to most of us. ”

— John Taylor Gatto, Author, Distinguished Educator

#4 Know what to teach

Most of us went through the public school system. Consequently, our standards for an education are naturally low. Without knowing what a serious education looks like, it's natural to adopt a public-school-at-home model of homeschooling.

Warning: you do not want to recreate public school at home!

“That seemed crazy on the face of it, but slowly I began to realize that the bells and the confinement, the crazy sequences, the age-segregation, the lack of privacy, the constant surveillance, and all the rest of the national curriculum of schooling were designed exactly as if someone had set out to prevent children from learning how to think and act, to coax them into addiction and dependent behavior.”

— John Taylor Gatto, Author, Distinguished Educator

You want to understand the subjects a child should learn and the books a child should learn from. This is a whole other topic, but let me say that a thorough knowledge of grammar would be a good place to start, something that is no longer taught in public school.

Which means that if you want to give your child an excellent education at home, you have to opt-out of any public-school-related programs and do it yourself.

#5 Enjoy homeschooling

As the teacher to your child, you want to enjoy teaching your child. If you don't, your child will sense this, and it will put a damper on his experience of learning. You want to nurture your child's love of learning instead by being passionate about learning yourself.

If you aren't enjoying teaching your child, it's probably because you haven't found the sweet-spot in homeschooling. It's there, you just need to discover it.

“The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery.”

— Mark Van Doren

Start by recognizing the magnitude of what you are doing: you are educating your child. What more noble task is there?

Acknowledge your courage and your dedication to your family. Focus on the positive aspects of homeschooling and avoid harboring thoughts of all that you have to do today. Our “to-do” lists are always too long. Set realistic daily goals and check them off as you complete them for a quick boost of happiness.

Keep in mind that even if you weren't homeschooling, you'd still have a lot to do. You may have more free time when you kids are in school, but you'd quickly fill it up with other things. 

When you’re homeschooling, you’re filling your time up with a service that will pay you back 100-fold for the rest of your life.

#6. Be content

Homeschooling is a service we provide to our children. It takes up our time and it takes up our energy. It's important to structure our days and weeks so we don't get burned out and lose our motivation.

It's important to build some fun time into your life that does't involve your children.  What is it that you enjoyed doing before you had children? What is is that relaxes you and boosts your mood?

Whatever it is, make sure you schedule it into your week. 

There is nothing worse than a cranky homeschooler, and you'll become cranky if you don't fill your own reserves at least once, if not twice a week.

A friend once said to me, "Life is difficult, but it should be enjoyed." There will be difficult days when you homeschool.

There are always difficult days no matter what we do.

But overall, you want to enjoy it. If you enjoy homeschooling, your children will enjoy it, too. 

And they will learn to write their own script in life.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler to raise smart, ethical, and critically-thinking children. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

The Six Purposes of Schooling by John Taylor Gatto

When people have asked me why I homeschooled, I tell them I had no choice. I tell them that if they understood what I understand about public education, they would homeschool too. John Taylor Gatto was the man who opened my eyes to the nefarious agenda behind public school.

What follows is a transcription of the key section from John’s classic speech and opus, The Underground History of American Education. John was a brilliant and well-researched man. I have read what is below in Ingles’ book myself; it is all true.   

Transcription of John’s Talk

“I have something here.  I have the six purposes of schooling [from the book Principles of Secondary Education by Alexander James Inglis] as laid down in 1917 by the man whom Harvard named their Honor Lecture in Education for. 

So far from being a fringe individual, this guy is the reason the Harvard Honor Lecture in Education is named as it is:  The Inglis Lecture.  I would like to read you the six purposes of schooling.  I moved heaven and earth as it took years to find this book [Principles of Secondary Education]--just like trying to find in past years a copy of the Carol Quigley [book] Tragedy and Hope.  

I learned about Inglis from a twenty year President of Harvard [1933-1953], James Bryant Conant, who was a poison gas specialist in World War I--and was in the very inner circle of the Atomic Bomb Project in World War II--was High Commissioner of Occupied Germany after the War. 

So he [James Bryant Conant] wrote--there must be 20 books about the institution of schooling--of which he was completely a proponent.  And he is a very, very bad writer.  I forced myself to read most of these books, and one of them he says that if you really want to know what school is about, you need to pick up the book that I’m referring to Principles of Secondary Education. 

Two years it took me to find a copy of the book [Principles of Secondary Education by Alexander James Inglis]--750 pages, tiny print and as dull as your imagination can be.  And furthermore, it is not till you get to the very middle of the book--in an unlabelled section--that he spills the beans.  Let me spill them for you.  

 There are six purposes, or functions, as he calls them.  The first he [Alexander Inglis] calls the Adjustive Function: Schools are to establish fixed habits of reaction to authority.  That’s their main purpose--habits and reactions to authority. 

That is why school authorities don’t tear their hair out when somebody exposes that the Atomic Bomb wasn’t dropped on Korea, as a history book in the 1990s printed by Scott Foresman [did], and why each of these books has hundreds of substantive errors.  Learning isn’t the reason the texts are distributed.  

The Adjustive Function

So, first is the Adjustive Function--fixed habits.  Now here comes the wonderful insight that being able to analyze the detail will give you.  How can you establish whether someone has successfully developed this Automatic Reaction because people have a proclivity when they are given sensible orders to follow. 

That is not what they want to teach.  The only way you can measure this is to give stupid orders and people automatically follow those.  Now you have achieved Function #1.  

The Integrating Function

Have you ever ever wondered why some of the foolish things that schools do or allow to continue?  [Function] #2, he [Inglis] calls it the Integrating Function, but it is easier to understand if you call it the Conformity Function. 

It’s to make children alike as possible--the gifted children and the stupid--alike as possible because market research uses statistical sampling, and it only works if people react generally the same way.  

The Directive Function

The Third Function he calls the Directive Function: School is to diagnose your proper social role and then log the evidence that here is where you are on the Great Pyramid, so that future people won’t allow you to escape that compartment.  

The Differentiating Function

 The Fourth Function is the Differentiating Function.  Because once you have diagnosed the kids in this layer, you do not want them to learn anything that the higher layers are learning.  So you teach just as far as the requirement of that layer.  

The Selective Function

 Number five and six are the creepiest of all!  Number 5 is the Selective Function.  What that means is what Darwin meant by natural selection: You are assessing the breeding quality of each individual kid.  You’re doing it structurally because school teachers don’t know this is happening. 

And you’re trying to use ways to prevent the poor stuff from breeding.  And those ways are hanging labels--humiliating labels--around their neck, encouraging the shallowness of thinking.

 I often wondered, because I came from a very very strict Scotish-Irish culture that never allowed you to leer at a girl.  But when I got to NYC, the boys were pawing the girls openly and there was no redress for the girls at all, except not showing up in the classroom--high absentee rates. 

Well, you are supposed to teach structurally that sexual pleasure is what you withdraw from a relationship and everything else is a waste of time and expensive.  

 So, the Selective Function is what Darwin meant by the favored races.  The idea is to consciously improve the breeding stock.  Schools are meant to tag the unfit with their inferiority by poor grades, remedial placement, and humiliation, so that their peers will accept them as inferior.  And the good breeding stock among the females will reject them as possible partners.  

The Propaedeutic Function

 And the Sixth is the creepiest of all! And I think it is partly what Tragedy and Hope is about--a fancy Roman name, the Propaedeutic Function.  Because as early as Roman bigtime thinkers, it was understood that to continue a social form required that some people be trained that they were the custodians of this.  So, some small fraction of the kids are being ready to take over the project. 

That’s the guy--the honor lecturer [Inglis], and it will not surprise you that his ancestors include the major-general of the siege of the Luknow of India--famous for tying the mutineers’ on the muzzle of the cannons and blowing them apart, or somebody who was forced to flee NYC, a churchman at the beginning of the American Revolution, because he wrote a refutation of Thomas Paine’s Common Sense. 

They were going to tar and feather him.  He fled and was rewarded by the British by making him the Bishop of Nova Scotia.  Those are Inglis’ ancestors!  

 So, Al Inglis is certainly--when I learned of this and wrote to Harvard, asking for access to the Inglis Lecture.  Strike me dead, Lord, if I’m exaggerating at all.  I was told “We have no Inglis Lecture--hasn’t been for years, and we have no records. 

It was the same that happened when I discovered that Elwood B. Cubberly, the most influential schoolman of the 20th century and the bionomics genius had been the elementary school editor of Houghton Mifflin, and I wrote Houghton Mifflin--Is there any record? And they said, “We have no record of anyone named Elwood P. Cubberly. 

Now Harvard is telling me, “There is no Inglis Lecture.  A week passed and I got a call from Harvard, from some obscure office at Harvard, saying “What is your interest in the Ingles Lecture?”  I knew that I was on thin ice. 

And I said, “Well, James Conant referred me in his books to the man the Inglis Lecture is named after, and I was just wondering if I could get some background on this fellow, and a list of the lectures.  

 And in due time, I got a list of the lectures and instructions [on] how to access the texts, but not easily. Enough hoops that someone who has to mow the lawn and burp the baby wouldn’t jump through those hoops.  I was able to prove Harper’s [magazine] wouldn’t publish [it in] the cover essay I wrote, which Lew Laflin [?] named Against School, but I had called The Artificial Extension of Childhood because I think that is the key mechanism at work here.  

 So, they wouldn’t print the information about Cubberley because Houghton Mifflin denied it.  It was only months after that I looked through my extensive library of incredibly dull books about schooling, and I opened [one]--and on the facing page said Elwood B. Cubberly, Editor and Chief of Elementary School, publishing arm of Houghton Mifflin. 

By the way, the secondary Editor and Chief was Alexander Ingles.  So you see how this cousinage works.” 

*****

Download your free copy of 10 Surprising Facts About Homeschooled Kids.

*Video transcribed by Roger Copple. To watch the full 12-minute video: The Six Purposes of Schooling [Video]

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, course will be open again sometime in March, 2021.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

10 Valuable Lessons Owning a Pet Can Teach Your Child

Children are fascinated by animals, and they love pets. Every child, when he or she reaches a certain age, will want to own a pet.

Unless you have always been a pet lover and owned a pet before your kids came along, you may be thinking something like what I thought when my children first asked me if they could have a pet, "Not over my dead body!" 

As if I didn't have enough to do already.

And then they grew a little older, and they persuaded me to buy them one rabbit each, and they promised me until they were blue in the face that they would take care of their pets. 

So I relented.

The surprise was on me: my children learned several meaningful life lessons and skills from owning and caring for their rabbits, and I became convinced that no child should experience childhood without owning a pet, too. 

“Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Lesson One

The first lesson they learned was responsibility. I made it clear from day one that I would, under no circumstances, care for the rabbits, and I put the onus entirely upon them to ensure the rabbits were fed and had their cage cleaned out once a week.

I don't remember my children ever failing to meet this responsibility, nor do I remember the rabbits ever going without food. 

Lesson Two

I instructed them to sort out who did what and when they did it, which meant they had to practice the skill of negotiation, which they did brilliantly.

They set up a schedule where my son, who was a morning person, fed the rabbits in the morning. My daughter, who has always been a night owl, fed them in the evening. They took turns cleaning the cage out too; one cleaned it out one week, and the other, the next.

Lesson Three

They also had to pay for their rabbit's food out of their weekly allowance. To do this, they learned how to budget their money to keep their rabbits fed.

Lesson Four

Because I worked and homeschooled, my schedule was tight. The pet feed store was about a half an hour away. My children had to remind me in advance when they would need a ride to the pet feed store to buy more rabbit pellets and hay, so I could schedule it into my week. 

I think this would fall under "planning," no?

Needless to say, they fell in love with their rabbits. Stella and Alfie were a source of childhood joy for them; they adored these little creatures.

Lesson Five

They learned how babies were born, too, and witnessed the maternal instinct in action. One day, Stella, the black bunny, started doing funny things in the cage. She was moving the hay around and making a pile of it inside the little house the rabbits had for shelter in their cage. 

A few hours later, we discovered her giving birth to six little bunnies. My daughter had kept saying that she thought she was pregnant, but I kept thinking that was impossible. 

Wishful thinking would be more like it.

Lesson Six

As the bunnies grew, my children gave them each a name based on their particular personalities or physical characteristics. There was one bunny that was the runt of the group, and they named her Shadow.

I loved the sense of poetry in her name; two little kids naming the runt of the litter Shadow. I put this lesson under “observation,” a vital skill in life if you are to understand, not who people pretend to be, but who they really are.

Lesson Seven

They learned about death, too. We went overseas one year for three months and left our bunnies under the care of some friends. About halfway through our trip we received a phone call that the little Shadow had died. 

Grief-stricken, my children discovered that death follows life and that their bunny was now in bunny Heaven. I explained to them that we are given gifts in our lives, and sometimes those gifts are taken away, and we need to learn to deal with the loss and trust that everything is as it should be. 

And I convinced them that Shadow was happy where ever she was, and they accepted her death gracefully.

Lesson Eight, Part One

When we returned home, we found that the white Rabbit, Alfie, had funny bumps in his ears. Off to the vet we went with poor little Alfie shaking uncontrollably in his rabbit carrier The vet announced that he had ear mites and gave us some liquid medicine that needed to be administered two times every day. 

My daughter, a natural caregiver, took it upon herself to give Alfie his daily and nightly doses. We read about ear mites and how much discomfort Alfie was in, and we all felt pain for him. 

We bemoaned the fact that it took us several weeks before we realized he had even been in extreme discomfort, which made us feel even worse.

Children nurture their natural compassion and empathy by caring for a pet. Little Alfie was prone to a disorder that cost us $1000 at the vet the first time he succumbed to it. After that, I did a little research and learned that we could treat him naturally at home. 

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened”

— Anatole France

I cannot count how many nights, over the years, we had to take turns keeping a watch on Alfie and giving him natural medicine until his system kicked back in. Sometimes we would even watch the sunrise together, and the immense relief and elation we felt when he bounced back was indescribable. 

Lesson Eight, Part Two

My kids even wrote a story about Alfie and Stella from a rabbit's perspective.

The rabbits were the civilized animals who were constantly being interrupted by these strange looking creatures who wanted to pick them up and hold them every day and who tried to put funny restraints on them and make them walk in the backyard (bunny harnesses; we never could get them to move) when they would rather eat and lie in the sun. 

From Alfie and Stella's eyes, we learned about the daily habits and peculiarities of my children's lives. 

Lesson Nine

And then we moved. We drove cross-country to Pennsylvania; me, two teenagers, and two rabbits.

It was a long haul for the rabbits, and I wasn't even sure they'd survive the trip, but I took the chance anyway. I knew my children would grow homesick, and their rabbits would make it less so, which both proved true.

What I didn't anticipate was having to make the move all over again, but we did. Only this time, my children and the rabbits were older, and we realized that the rabbits would probably not survive the journey back to California.

So we found a farm with a kind woman who loved caring for animals, and my kids put the rabbits in their new cage. Feeling that they were under good care, we turned around and headed back to the West Coast.

And that was that. A heavy-hearted but brief parting of ways.

Lesson Ten

There was one thing I didn't mention. The rabbits saved me from something I remember my parents having to do that was very awkward. 

Thanks to a book on rabbit care, my children learned about the birds and the bees. They put two and two together, and voila.

One day the lightbulb went off, and they came running to me and said, "Mom, we just figured something out...!"

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.

As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Educate Your Child to Think Like a King

People homeschool for many different reasons. Some are personal, some religious, some moral, and some academic. Whatever your reasons, if you are homeschooling then you have the opportunity to train your child’s mind well, and a well-trained mind has many advantages in life.

One of these advantages is that it leads to a state of personal sovereignty, a word John Taylor Gatto used often.

Be the king of your mind and the ruler of your heart. Be the writer of your own script. 

“You either learn your way towards writing your own script in life, or you unwittingly become an actor in someone else’s script.”

— John Taylor Gatto, Author, Distinguished Educator

Keep this goal in mind, and the top universities will be a natural by-product of an excellent education. In other words, you don't need to aim for an Ivy League; aim for an education and the rest will follow.

There are a few strategies you want to have in place to reach this objective that successful homeschoolers will incorporate. The strategies will assist you in giving your child the kind of education he or she deserves, not the public school kind.

#1 Know your objective

Assuming your long-term objective is to provide your child an excellent education, you want to be clear about the goals you need to reach to get them there.

For each school year, you will need to know what you want your child to accomplish for that year; and for each subject, you will need to decide what you want your child to learn about that subject. 

You are moving from generals to particulars when you work out your homeschool plan.

A lot should go into you homeschool planning, too. If we are going to reach any goals in life, we must be intentional and have a map of how we will get there. Intentional homeschoolers plan out the school year and know what their end-year objectives are.

#2. Be Flexible

Your child will become interested in subjects you may not have anticipated. Even though you have your schedule, you've got to be flexible enough to shift when the winds change direction.

Any time your child becomes interested in something, that's when you want to teach it. We learn best when we are motivated to learn. A desire to know something motivates us.

There are things your child must know such as how to read, and there is no way around it (though when taught correctly, they will be self-motivated to learn to read too), but there are things you will not have on the schedule that he becomes interested in.

Put them on your schedule even if it means you have to take something else off. 

#3 Have High Expectations

Don't expect mediocrity from your child. Let me tell you a story to illustrate this: I met two brothers in a hotel the other day. They were from Israel, and they were somewhere in their 70's, would be my guess.

I was having breakfast, and they sat down at the table next to me.  We got to chatting and fell onto the topic of how the Jewish people are known for being very intelligent. They said it was because they had superior genes! I asked them to tell me about their childhoods.

I explained that I worked in children's education, and, contrary to what they thought, I didn’t believe that they possessed superior genes! Jewish children must be raised a certain way. I didn’t share with them what I thought that “way” was because I didn’t want to influence their answer.

Both of their faces lit up and they told me this: "Our mothers drill it into us from an early age that we are going to grow up to be an engineer or a doctor or something of importance. We are raised to understand this and failing isn’t an option!"

They were laughing as they said it, but it was clearly an impressionable part of their childhood and something they both vividly remembered. They had to grow up to reach the top. Mediocre expectations were not a part of their childhood.

With all due respect to natural ability, people who excel usually do so because it was expected of them or the means to excel was a part of their environment as a child. I'm convinced that most parents could raise a genius if they knew how to do it.

“I’ve come to believe that genius is an exceedingly common human quality, probably natural to most of us. ”

— John Taylor Gatto, Author, Distinguished Educator

#4 Know what to teach

Most of us went through the public school system. Consequently, our standards for an education are pretty low unless we dig into the history of education and realize that we had been cheated of one. But without knowing this, and without knowing what a real education looks like, it's natural to adopt a public-school-at-home kind of homeschooling.

Warning: you do not want to do public school at home! You really don't.

“That seemed crazy on the face of it, but slowly I began to realize that the bells and the confinement, the crazy sequences, the age-segregation, the lack of privacy, the constant surveillance, and all the rest of the national curriculum of schooling were designed exactly as if someone had set out to prevent children from learning how to think and act, to coax them into addiction and dependent behavior.”

— John Taylor Gatto, Author, Distinguished Educator

You want to understand the subjects a child should learn and the books a child should learn from. This is a whole other topic, but let me say that a thorough knowledge of grammar, Aristotelean logic, and rhetoric would be a good place to start, none of which are taught in public school today.

Which means that if you want to give your child an excellent education at home, you have to opt-out of any public-school related programs all together. Sometimes we can compromise a little, but on this point I don’t believe we can. 

#5 Enjoy homeschooling

As the teacher to your child, you want to enjoy teaching your child. If you don't, your child will sense this, and it will put a damper on his experience of learning. We want to nurture our child's love of learning; it is vital to his education that we do this. 

If you aren't enjoying teaching your child, it's probably because you haven't found the sweet-spot in homeschooling. It's there, you just need to discover it.

“The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery.”

— Mark Van Doren

Start by recognizing the magnitude of what you are doing; you are educating a child, your child. Acknowledge your courage and dedication. Focus on the positive aspects of homeschooling, and don't harbor thoughts of all that you have to do in a day, and when will you ever find time to do it all?!

Even if you weren't homeschooling, you'd still have a lot to do. You may have more free time, but you'd quickly fill it up with other things. When you’re homeschooling, you’re filling your time up with a service that will pay you back 100-fold for the rest of your life.

#6. Be content

Homeschooling is a service we provide to our children. It takes up our time and it takes up our energy. It's so important to structure our days and weeks so we don't get burned out and want to quit. 

It's important to build some fun time into your life that does't involve your children.  What is it that you enjoyed doing before you had children? What is is that relaxes you and boosts your mood?

Whatever it is, make sure you schedule it into your week. 

There is nothing worse than a cranky homeschooler (I know from experience!), and you'll become cranky if you don't fill your own reserves at least once, if not twice a week.

A friend once said to me, "Life is difficult, but it should be enjoyed." There will be difficult days when you homeschool.

There are always difficult days no matter what we do.

But, overall, you want to enjoy it. If you enjoy homeschooling, your children will enjoy it, too. 

And they will learn to write their own life script, too.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Raise an intelligent and decent child by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy now, and learn how to give your child an excellent education at home.

Join our waiting list for Elizabeth’s online course: Raise Your Child Well to Live a Successful Life.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to help parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

5 Reasons Why You Will Love Homeschooling and Never Look Back

Fear is the #1 reason that stops most parents from homeschooling.

Once you move beyond the fear, though, and decide to homeschool anyway because public school or online schools are no longer options for you, a whole new world emerges.

Most homeschooling parents then wonder why they waited so long to embrace the teaching of their own.

Here are four homeschooling perks that will make you fall in love with your new homeschooling lifestyle.

You Own Your Time

1. While the fear is that you'll lose your free time, what you don't realize is that you gain control over your time, you don't lose it. School no longer dictates what nights the kids need to be in bed early or when you can take your vacation or when your day ends and when it begins. These decisions are now yours to make.

If you have a family party to attend on a Sunday, you can stay as late as you like, maybe treat Monday like a Sunday and begin this particular week on a Tuesday instead. If you want to travel overseas for a vacation, but not pay prime rates for high season and deal with a deluge of other tourists, you can visit off-season and adjust your homeschool schedule to fit into your vacation time. 

Compound Perks

2. The compound perks that vacations offer is that you can turn any vacation into a homeschooling day of study. Think history, art, literature, and language arts. You are no longer restricted to the classroom for study, but travel can also become a hand's on way of learning.

If vacations are more than your budget can afford, weekly outings can fill the same role. 

As for your own free time, if you learn to manage your time and manage your children well, you should be able to replenish your energy reserves weekly. If you are going to homeschool, this is essential as the state of burn-out is real.

You avoid this by planning ahead and making sure you have enough time  to fill your reserves as needed. 

Many parents today are more overwhelmed because their children run them ragged with their constant demands on their time. Parents no longer know how to establish clear boundaries with their children.

To homeschool successfully, you have to get the management of your family under control first.

Homeschooling is a job, but it isn't one that should leave you feeling exhausted. On the contrary, it should feel rewarding and fulfilling to you. If it doesn't, then something needs tweaking. 

3. Another significant stress in life that the act of homeschooling eliminates immediately is the battle parents and children endure every day regarding getting to public school, readjusting to coming home from public school, and the homework fiasco. 

All the stress these demands bring into your life melt away just like that.

Gone. 

Regarding homework, parents who help with homework are homeschooling, so why not just homeschool without all the extra pressure that comes with having your children in school?

4. Your children do not get graded and slotted into arbitrary categories of excellent, above average, average, and below average. They don't get ranked with their peers and made to feel better than they are or worse because there is no average with homeschooling. 

They don't develop false limitations about their academic ability, but they learn to do well and to excel in their studies. If they don't, you don't move them on until they do. You are a private tutor to your child when you homeschool, so you know when he knows the material and when he doesn't know it.

It's that simple.

You might do reviews with him, but you never need to test or grade him. He is competing with himself, and he naturally learns to do his best work. Sometimes, this may require a discipline tactic or two, but he is being trained in your home school to be his very best, including the work he produces.

Grading, on the other hand, is for the classroom when a teacher has no idea where each of her 30 students is concerning what she has taught them. How can she be expected to know this without testing them?

And then come the grades with the boxes children get squeezed into that help to form their perception of who they are rather than who they can become. 

5. While your children may easily find friends in public school, you may not always approve of their friends, and you seldom know the family of their friends. If your child gets in with the wrong crowd, and there is no guarantee that he or she will not, you will watch your child be brought down by bad company, and there will be little you can do to stop it. 

With homeschooling, a prudent parent will choose good friends for their children, because the children are too young to know a good influence from a bad influence. When they get older, they'll have more discernment and be able to choose wisely for themselves.

As a homeschooling family, you'll make friends with other homeschooling families. You plan social events as a family, not as individuals.

Socializing as a family is the norm in so many other parts of the world, but in the West we've lost this habit that’s so vital to our family’s well-being. 

Homeschooling is a lifestyle that puts the family back at the center again and allows us the time to build stable families with members who enjoy each other's company and are loyal to one another. 

Many homeschooling parents have told me that they felt a distance grown between them and their children once the children entered school.

Have you noticed this too?

My own mother said this about all of her children, and she had seven. It's par for the course, this social distancing, and it's impossible to avoid when children spend eight hours in school and then two to four hours doing homework in the evenings.

Your children are not with you for a large part of the day, and you don't share a social circle. When families were tighter, there was less segregation by age and more intermixing of entire families.

This mixing brings shared experiences and fond memories, which are the stuff bonds are made of.

After having gone through the public school system myself, and after homeschooling my now-grown children, I can honestly say that putting my children into public school for their elementary or middle-school years was never a serious consideration, ever. 

The homeschooling lifestyle was too good.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Increase your child’s intelligence by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy summer program to learn how to give your child an excellent education at home.

Join our waiting list for Elizabeth’s online course: Raise Your Child Well to Live a Life He Loves.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to help parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Focus on Becoming a Better Person and Being a Better Parent Will Naturally Follow

Children see, children do.

There’s a painful component to raising children that we tend to overlook: they turn out just like us. About the time our children hit the teens, for better or for worse, we find ourselves staring at ourselves.

Sure, there’ll be some variations on the theme, but our strengths and our weaknesses, they will inherit. Some of our children will get more of our bad qualities, some more of our good ones, sometimes it’s a mix; but pass them on, we do.

Which is why, if we are to be the best parent we can be, we need to begin by improving our characters.

Character Improvement

To improve our characters, we need to begin by determining our strengths and weaknesses. Then we can begin to tackle our weaknesses. Determining our character flaws requires honesty and self-reflection, which can be difficult for many of us.

Not everyone is willing to take a hard, honest look at themselves. And even when we do, sometimes we think we see what isn’t there. It can be tricky.

A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. –Mark Twain

Rather than try to analyze your character and risk the chance of deluding yourself, take a hard look at your behavior instead.

How Do You Behave?

If you’re someone who tends to threaten other drivers on the road, stop; chances are you may raise a raging maniac.

If you’re someone who likes to gossip, stop; chances are you’ll raise a trivial person who creates discord between others.

If you’re someone who likes to sit around watching television and playing on the computer, stop; chances are you’ll raise an unmotivated kid who doesn’t accomplish much.

If you’re someone who tells lies, stop; chances are you’ll raise a liar.

If you’re someone who thinks you’re better than everyone else, stop; chances are you’ll raise a narcissistic tyrant.

The world works better when its citizens are humble, patient, kind, and generous.

To borrow Kennedy’s magnificent line:

Ask not what others can do for you — ask what you can do for others.

Asking what you can do for others is at the heart of good character and at the heart of raising good children.

Homeschool the smart way by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to help parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

If you are "Homeschooling," You May as Well Homeschool

Here are some points to consider now that your children are home, and you are expected to homeschool them.

Even if you were already homeschooling, these points will serve as a good reminder of the advantages to homeschooling.

A Real Homeschooler

A "real" homeschooler does not enroll their child into a state-funded program because you understand that it's an oxymoron. You cannot homeschool and have your child enrolled in public school at the same time. They are two different approaches to a child’s education.

In other words, your are either homeschooling your child or you are not homeschooling him. And the reality is that if he is in an online program, you are not homeschooling.

He's public-schooled at home and classified as such by the state. 

Furthermore, enrolling your child in a public-schooled at home program defies the benefits to a homeschool, which are many.  It’s crucial that you understand these differences so you can make an informed decision for your family that will serve your family in the highest way.

Freedom of Choice

For starters, you want to exercise your freedom of choice regarding your child's education. You want to be free to choose when you teach, where you teach, what you teach, and how you teach and for how long you teach. 

You also want the freedom to take vacations when you want to take vacations. Vacations are very important when you are homeschooling!

When You Teach

Not all children are ready to learn all things at the same time. One of the benefits of homeschooling is to start your child when he is mature enough for formal training, and you want to let him go at his own pace.

Allowing your children to go at their own pace, teach them to compete against themselves, which fosters an independent and self-motivated spirit. It also allows them to soar ahead when the material grabs their attention or just because they can. 

It's common for homeschooled children to be above their grade level in subjects for this very reason. The system is not tethering them to mediocrity. 

What You Teach

Educate your child with books, not on a computer. Raise them to treasure the feel of a book, the smell of a book, the content of a book.

Make reading their habit, not staring at a computer screen, which is both bad for the brain and bad for the eyesight, not to mention one's overall health (think childhood obesity). 

Expand their minds with the original writing of great men and women who have made major contributions to Western civilization instead of watching sound bites by people who regurgitate what has already been regurgitated many times before. 

Educate your child to know that they can learn anything they put their mind to learning. There are few limitations to discovering the universe of the mind for a child who is raised to understand that he is capable of so much more. 

How You Teach

When you homeschool your children, they are not stuck in a regime of boring classes that consume the better part of their day.

A real homeschooling day is much, much shorter than this leaving the child time for leisure activities to help him discover who he is and what motivates him in life; to contribute towards making him a person who is interesting to others rather than a good imitator of the latest ill-mannered sitcom character. 

Where You Teach

When you are homeschooling, you can teach your child anywhere because the world is his classroom. Establish a homeschool room in your house with a desk where he can write. Let him read in the living room, let him do science and art outdoors.

Take him on road trips to learn history, travel the world with him. There is no limitation to where you can teach a homeschooled child. You can teach him anywhere, no computer needed.

These are just a few of the characteristics of a real homeschooled education. If you choose to use an online program, understand that for all intent and purposes, your are not homeschooling your child.

Despite the fancy rhetoric, he gets classified as a public schooled student by the government, with all due respect, like all the other bricks in the wall as Pink Floyd so fittingly put it. 

If you haven't seen it already, do not miss this video clip!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjrfuDAEl10.

In a nutshell, bring your children offline and into the real world of learning. Resist the pull to depend upon the state for support by assuming responsibility for your child's education, and lastly, enjoy it.

Homeschooling is a marvelous lifestyle!

Homeschool the smart way by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to help parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically correct blog.

Who Are the Parents That Are Changing the World?

The answer is homeschooling parents.

If you're homeschooling, pat yourself on the back because you're making a huge contribution to society, and possibly to the world. 

Let's look at the facts: 

Public-Schooled Children

1) Schooled children are more likely to grow up to be poor readers in the sense that they don’t have the skill to read the kind of literature that many first-hand sources demand of us.

When many homeschoolers educate their children using primary sources such as The Federalist Papers or the Declaration of Independence and public-schools teach their students using tertiary sources in the form of textbooks, well, the facts speak for themselves.

There's no way around this. Not being able to read primary sources will make you dependent on tertiary sources for your information. How can you think for yourself when you're dependent on other people’s interpretation of the material? 

Won't this also add to a decline of knowledge and wisdom, and therefore, to a less intelligent society?

2) Public-school children are more likely to grow up with a habit of lying and cheating. In the film, Race to Nowhere, it was revealed that 97% of public-school students lie because the testing demands are so unrealistic that the only way to pass from one grade to the next is by being dishonest. 

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

Dishonesty breeds distrust, and no relationship can survive distrust.

It's a collective dishonesty too. When it's only one or two children that lie, it's seen as poor character, but when everyone lies, it becomes a cultural norm. The proof is all around us.

Fifty years ago, it was unusual for a person in good standing in society to lie. When in doubt, it was assumed that the person was telling the truth.

This isn't true anymore. When a person's integrity is questioned, it's assumed now that he or she is lying.

We've become a country where lying is no longer seen as shocking; instead, it's the cultural norm.

3) School children are more likely to have lower moral standards in part because their peers have more influence over them than their parents, and schools no longer encourage moral behavior.

4) School children are less likely to share strong bonds with their family or to uphold the same family values when they are grown. This lack of shared values undermines the family unit.

Isn't the family unit the cornerstone of a society?

How can there be a healthy society without healthy families? Any country with wise and just leaders will make the well-being of its families a primary concern. 

Considering the same points that were just mentioned, let's now look at how homeschooled children differ from public schooled children:

Homeschooled Children

1) Homeschooled children tend to be self-learners for life, pursuing knowledge for its own sake. They tend to have better critical thinking skills, because they are used to thinking for themselves.

They don't have unrealistic demands put on them by an educational bureaucracy comprised of businessmen like Bill Gates and Mike Milken who know more about making obscene amounts of money than they do about the educational needs of our children. 

2) Homeschooled children are typically good readers who love to and do read in their leisure time. They are continually increasing their knowledge, their understanding, and their minds, which contributes to a not dumbed-down society, a condition we desperately need to remedy. 

3) Homeschooled children tend to be better mannered, which amounts to a naturally improved character. They grow up under the supervision of parents who have the time and influence to guide them in the right ways. 

4) Homeschool children are more likely to grow up with the same values as their family contributing to a more solid family unit, and consequently, a more solid society.

Let's look at how this affects us as a country.

We claim to have high literacy rates, but it's common knowledge that we lower the standards of the tests to make us look better educated. We’re not as literate as we seem on paper.

Talk to ten high school students about their reading habits if you want to know how far from reality the literacy statistics veer.

Here's what our president had to say about it: "We're 26th in the world. 25 countries are better than us at education. And some of them are like third world countries. But we're becoming a third world country."

It is difficult to disagree with him. 

The less educated we are and the lower our moral standards are, the more mediocre a people we become. 

This, I conclude, is the reason why homeschooled children are our only hope for turning the tide on a country inflicted with a moral and intellectual malaise.

Ask any Canadians or Britons what they think of the average American intelligence? I've asked them many times, and I always get the answer I expect. A kind of embarrassed giggle and a confession that, yes, they think we are of inferior intelligence. 

It's no secret to anyone but ourselves. It's not that we are born with inferior intelligence, but that we don't develop our minds. And if we don't develop them, we can hardly use them, which is why the shameless entertainment and technology industry is making such a killing off of us. 

Why do we accept this for ourselves and our children when we can do so much better?

The human spirit is capable of greatness.

Greatness!

“Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.”

— Shakespeare

If you're able to homeschool, please join us! Without a miracle of some sort, and until we have a better educational system in place, it's the one hope we have for a better future.

Take control of your child's education and do the best job you can do. 

With diligence and perseverance, it will be far better than the dumbing down of our children's minds that the government schools are forcing on us.

Homeschooling is a rewarding experience. It is inspiring to watch a young person discover his or her mind and put it to better use than you could ever imagine.

And if you're already homeschooling, then you know that there is nothing more satisfying than being this person's teacher. 

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

10 Books Every Concerned Parent Should Read

The world is a little topsy-turvy right now especially when it comes to raising and educating our children.

The following books were carefully chosen as a guide to help you navigate some of the issues you will face as a parent living in the West.

1. Hold On to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate, M.D.

In trying to understand why children no longer revere their parents in the same way that my parent's generation revered their parents, I turned to Neufeld and Mate's book, Hold On to Your Kids.

Part of the answer lies within the pages of this book and will help you understand why peer pressure is so real, and how you can lose your children to peer pressure. It also contains some suggestions for how to protect the bond between you and your children. 

While their solutions are somewhat naive, if I may be so bold as to say that, the authors delineate a very real situation that every parent should understand.

2. Recovering the Lost Tools of Learning by Dorothy Sayers

This essay is Dorothy Sayer's famous critique of modern education using her great wit and brilliant insight. It's amusing as well as informative.

To raise the standard for your child's education, you need first to understand what level of academic work he's capable of doing. There's no better way to do this than to ignore the standards of modern education, and, instead, look at what school children used to learn. 

3. The Disappearance of Childhood by Neil Postman

Neil Postman was a perceptive social critic who argued that childhood was disappearing. The reason for the disappearance was the blurred lines that technology created by exposing children to the adult world too soon.

With the loss of childhood also came the loss of adulthood, which continues to present a significant problem for our society's ability to remain civil. 

4. Gwynne's Latin by N. M. Gwynne - The Introduction

Mr. Gwynne is an expert on the subject of the Latin language. He tells stories of having studied Latin for 90 minutes a day, five days a week as a schoolboy.

By the time I (and later, you) went to school, they had eliminated Latin from the curriculum. To our detriment, too, because without the study of Latin, you can never fully understand or appreciate the English language. 

People who learn Latin are better educated. It's a simple fact. The reason you should read his introduction to his Latin book is that he will give you an irrefutable argument for why you should have your children learn Latin. You can study it, too, as I do–it's never too late.

5. The Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto

Gatto's opus work tells the story of how a sub-standard modern education came to be, and why you must understand it's origins so you can make informed decisions for your children when it comes to deciding how you want to educate them. 

I prefer Gatto's original work over the newly revised work of the same title. Buy a copy of the older book, if you can. His newer version was written during his last years, and intended as a three-volume set, but, sadly, he never finished it. 

6. The Platonic Tradition by Peter Kreeft

You may be wondering why I included this title? It's vital to Western civilization that we understand the ideas upon which our civilization was built so that we can protect them when they're under threat of being undermined as they are today.

We also need to pass this understanding onto our children, so they are not easily swayed by the high falutin rhetoric that robs us of our civil liberties under the guise of equality. Kreeft's book will correct the errors in understanding that brought us to where we are today.

7. Glow Kids by Nicholas Kardaras, Ph.D.

A ground-breaking book that exposes the technology industry for what it is, and the harm it's inflicting on our children during their most vulnerable years. Protect your child by reading this book and passing it on to your friends to read. We need a no-tech revolution, at least no tech in the lives of children. 

8. How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren

The title seems like an oxymoron, but it's not. The authors acknowledge our ability to read but also our failure to read with deep understanding. We were never taught the skill of reading beyond a rudimentary level, and this is the gap How to Read a Book attempts to fill. 

They will show you how to tackle a book in a way that will make it your own. Especially if you plan on homeschooling, you want to learn this skill so you can teach it to your children when they get older. 

9. Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto

Dumbing Us Down was Gatto's landmark book when he first entered the world of non-schooling education. He writes an easy-to-read book about the problems with modern education and why you should consider alternatives to a "school-like" training for your child.

Whether you do or not, you should understand the system so you can help your child navigate it if you decide to put him or her into school.

10. The Leipzig Connection by Paolo Lionni

How modern psychology removed the soul from the study of psychology and then coupled that soul-less subject with the department of modern education and the subsequent impact it has had on children's education. An important read!

Some of these books are inexpensive, some are more expensive, but they are all worth reading.

Receive a free download with the titles and links to 10 Books Every Concerned Parent Should Read.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

Raise a Smarter Kid with This Simple Practice

The Practice

A strong memory is the foundation of high intelligence. Having young children to memorize rhymes and poetry is an excellent way to develop their memories and their intellects.

Once they are in the formal years of instruction, you can have them memorize wise maxims and worthy passages from different books too. 

Children who are raised with the habit of doing memory work will become accustomed to it, and not shy away from it when they're older. Young children particularly love to memorize anything, so this is the prime time to do memory work with them.

“Let us not then lose even the earliest period of life, and so much the less, as the elements of learning depend on the memory alone, which not only exists in children, but is at that time of life even most tenacious.”

— Marcus Fabius Quintilianus

They won't see it as a difficult task or an impossible task like children do today, but they'll tackle it with determination, and they'll succeed which will have the added effect of building their confidence.

A Declining Skill

A useful skill that memorization teaches us is the ability to focus. In an age of constant distraction, focusing on anything for more than a second is under siege. 

There is no quicker way to lay waste to our memories than by distraction. If we aren't present in our actions and our thoughts, we shall fail to store them in our minds. This is true for our children too.

As mothers, we tend to set a bad example for our children on this point. It happens when we have young children demanding our attention while we're trying to focus on something else.

We get pulled into too many directions, which is why you often hear women complain of a declining memory after they have children. 

(Protecting your memory is another good reason to raise your children to figure things out for themselves, and thereby reduce the number of times you're interrupted during the day.)

We want to protect our children from having weak memories by starting them with memory work even before they begin grade school. Around age four would be a good time to start.

A Happy Spirit

Keep it light and fun though–you never want to put undue pressure on a child’s budding heart.

Read rhymes over and over again, and your children will memorize them without effort. Read age-appropriate poetry to your children and have them learn short stanzas by heart.

When you go to the grocery store, introduce a memory game. Have your children memorize the shopping list. You can learn it, too, and then see who remembers most of the items on the list. 

Children love this game especially since they usually win!

Learn by Heart

Memory work, or learning by heart, as it was once called, was a vital component of the Ancient Greek and Roman education. The Greeks and Romans had sophisticated memory tools to facilitate the learning by heart of epic poems.

For example, every school child in Ancient Greece would learn The Iliad and The Odyssey by heart. 

When children learn things by heart, it also helps to form their characters and their world views, which is precisely why the Greeks had their children learn epic poems about their heroes by heart.

“Learning by heart’, which speaks to the soul, has been replaced by ‘rote-learning’ and ‘learning by rote’, which are disparaging and off-putting terms that have the effect of making memorizing into a matter of using the brain as a piece of machinery.”

— Mr. Gwynne

Today, we don't have children learn anything by heart in school anymore. Not only this, but we use the term “rote” memorization and speak condescendingly of it.

Did you learn anything by heart? I never did. 

The Memory Disadvantage

Yet, the memory is a crucial component of our intelligence. People who have weaker memories are at an intellectual disadvantage over those who have strong memories.

Why would we raise our children to be at a disadvantage when they're natural inclination is to develop their memories? 

It's like preventing a child from learning to walk. Why would we physically handicap them? We wouldn’t, nor should we handicap them intellectually by failing to train their memories.

It's our job as parents and teachers to provide our children with memory work, yet, we overlook this vital element to education because "rote" memorizing is not an effective way to teach.

Rote memory work, as Mr. Gwynne points out, is not the proper term anyway. Learning by heart is a much more humane way to look at an easy method of training your child's mind to do great things. 

In our misguided efforts to spare our children the boredom of memory work, are we not dumbing them down?

Have you got your free copy of How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader? It comes with an 80+ book list of carefully chosen books to support your child’s intellectual development.

Join Elizabeth’s signature parenting course: Raise Your Child Well to live a life he loves.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Teach Your Children to Cook!

In each home, around in the world, there is nothing more comforting than the smell of delightful aromas coming from the kitchen.

Yet, so many girls and boys are coming of age and do not know how to cook. What's more, young women seem to see it as a sign of their liberation. 

Being dependent upon other people for food is not a sign of liberation; it's a sign that you don't know how to do something as fundamental as providing a home-cooked meal for yourself, nor for anyone else. 

“If you are a chef, no matter how good a chef you are, it’s not good cooking for yourself; the joy is in cooking for others - it’s the same with music.”

— will.i.am

The irony is that children love to cook. Why are they coming-of-age bereft of this skill? Let's not dwell on the reasons here, but let's work quickly to fix the problem.

7 Easy Steps to Teach Your Child how to Cook

Step 1) Correct the Problem

It begins with you. If you're a mother who is not providing nourishing meals for her family, you must first learn to correct this.

(The variables of family are too numerous today to keep up with, hence, we'll take the less-complicated version: mom cooks and dad brings home the bread.)

YouTube is full of chefs dying to teach you how to cook. By studying two or three of their recipes, you will completely change the environment in your home and be cooking 5-star meals before you know it. 

Now that your children have a role model to emulate, you can begin to teach little John and little Mary how to cook a meal or two.

Step 2) First Teach Them Only What Their Hands Can Do

In the beginning, you'll have them do things like shell peas and tear up lettuce for the salad. Before they are old enough to be responsible with a knife, you'll have them do any task that doesn't involve sharp items.

Step 3) Peeling Progression

Around the age of six, you can show them how to peel potatoes, carrots, cucumbers, and anything else you can think of. Let the peeling of anything become their domain. 

By the way, these are not chores. Helping to prepare the food should be seen as fun time in the kitchen with mom (which means that you should NEVER complain about having to make dinner).

Step 4) Salad’s On

By the age of seven or eight, if not sooner, they should be able to prepare a salad on their own. Give your children the task of making the salad once or twice a week, or more often if you prefer. 

Step 5) Carbs Galore

Next come the preparation and cooking of the rice and potatoes. This next step involves the stovetop, so they have to be old enough to handle a flame. If you have a gas top, the pressing concern here is that they are responsible and focused enough to remember to turn the flame all the way off. 

If not, you should supervise them until they are. In the meantime, show your children how to rinse the rice. Next, show them how to measure the water, bring the rice to a boil, cover and let simmer for 20 minutes. There are tricks to making a perfect bowl of rice, so if you know these tricks (I don't), then be sure to include them. 

Next, they can learn to make mashed potatoes. They peel, wash, and boil the potatoes. Drain the potatoes (you may have to help here, because the pan may be too heavy for them), add butter and milk and mash. If you don't like mashing potatoes, the good news is that children love it. You will never have to mash potatoes again.

Step 6) The Big Fish

Next, show them how to prepare the main dish. I recommend beginning with fish, which is less complicated to prepare. Show John and Jane how to wash the fish, put it in a baking dish, make the sauce, pour it over the fish, and cook it. 

Step 7) Early Graduation

Once they complete all three of these steps successfully, you are now ready to grant your children the privilege of cooking an entire meal. They should be around nine or ten by this time (could be sooner!).

You now get to sit back, enjoy a cup of tea and some conversation with your spouse, and wait for what will soon be a delicious meal.

Moving forward, let your children take over the kitchen at least one night during the week to learn how to master the art of cooking and to give yourself a break. 

“A chef’s palate is born out of his childhood, and one thing all chefs have in common is a mother who can cook.”

— Marco Pierre White

By the time your children are 11 and 13, they should be able to handle an entire Thanksgiving dinner for ten people all by themselves. 

I only know this because when my children were these ages, I was recovering from the flu and not up to cooking our annual Thanksgiving dinner. 

I was lying in bed the day before Thanksgiving, and, while not contagious anymore, I was still exhausted. My intention was to call my guests that morning and let them know that I  wouldn't be able to host the Thanksgiving dinner that year.

My daughter came in quietly and said in a low voice, Mom, do you think I could make the Thanksgiving dinner, so we don't have to cancel our party?"

"Do you think you can handle it?" I ask, quite frankly, incredulously. 

"Yes," I'm sure I can."

"Then I think it's a fabulous idea!"

“Always remember: If you’re alone in the kitchen and you drop the lamb, you can always just pick it up. Who’s going to know?”

— Julia Child

Truthfully, and I'm not the kind of mother who exaggerates her children's accomplishments, but it was one of the best Thanksgiving dinners ever. 

The other point to mention is that, at their ages, it would never have occurred to me that they could handle a meal of this magnitude. 

Homeschooled kids, I have found, are like this. Nothing is ever too big to tackle. By the time they reach the teens, if homeschooled well, they will know how to teach themselves just about anything one can learn, within reason. 

One warning, though: while your children are capable of cooking a full meal long before they will be ready to move out, you don't want to give up your place in the kitchen for more than one or two nights a week. 

There will never be anything as comforting as "mom" in the kitchen, whipping up a fabulous meal. No one can fill the shoes of your child's mother, ever. 

They're your shoes to walk in; enjoy the journey.

Don’t miss your copy of:  Top Ten YouTube Cooking Channels. With the download, you’ll also get a link to a great film about a famous chef that’s guaranteed to inspire you.

Join Elizabeth’s signature parenting course: Raise Your Child Well to live a life he loves.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.