I don't know about you, but I can struggle to come up with gift ideas, especially if it is for someone else's child.
Read More6 Ways Public Schools Harm Our Children→
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An overdose of medicine to a child’s body is like an overdose of public school to their minds and hearts. When we understand the agenda behind public school, we’ll do everything in our power to find an alternative, just like we do everything in our power to keep medicine out of a child’s reach.
Below is an excerpt from an essay by John Taylor Gatto which gives us an insight into the toxicity of public schools— not only for our children’s minds, but for their hearts too.
The Short, Angry History of Compulsory Schooling
Theorists from Plato to Rousseau knew well, and explicitly taught, that if children could be kept childish beyond the natural term, if they could be cloistered in a society of children, if they could be stripped of responsibility, if their inner lives could be starved by removing the insights of historians, philosophers, economists, novelists, and religious figures, if the inevitability of suffering and death could be removed from daily consciousness and replaced with the trivializing emotions of greed, envy, jealousy, and fear then young people would grow older but they would never grow up.
In this way a great enduring problem of supervision would be decisively minimized, for who can argue against the truth that childish and childlike people are far easier to manage than accomplished critical thinkers.
With this thought in mind, you're ready to hear the six purposes of modern schooling I found in Dr. Inglis' book. The principles are his, just as he stated them nearly 100 years ago, some of the interpretive material is my own.
1st Function
The first function of schooling is adjustive. Schools are to establish fixed habits of reaction to authority.
Fixed habits.
Of course this precludes critical judgement completely. If you were to devise a reliable test of whether someone had achieved fixed habits of reaction to authority, notice that requiring obedience to stupid orders would measure this better than requiring obedience to sensible orders ever could.
You can't know whether someone is reflexively obedient until you can make them do foolish things.
2nd Function
Second is the diagnostic function. School is to determine each student's proper social role, logging evidence mathematically and anecdotally on cumulative records.
3rd Function
Third is the sorting function. Schools sort children by training individuals only so far as their likely destination in the social machine and not one step further. So much for making boys and girls their personal best.
4th Function
The fourth function is conformity. As much as possible, kids are to be made alike. As egalitarian as this sounds, its purpose is to assist market and government research, people who conform are predictable.
5th Function
The fifth function Inglis calls "the hygienic function”. It has nothing to do with bodily health. It concerns what Darwin, Galton, Inglis, and many important names from the past and present would call, "the health of the race."
Hygiene is a polite way of saying that school is expected to accelerate natural selection by tagging the unfit so clearly they will drop from the reproduction sweepstakes.
That's what all those little humiliations from first grade onward, and all the posted lists of ranked grades are really about. The unfit will either drop out from anger, despair, or because their likely mates will accept the school's judgement of their inferiority.
6th Function
And last is the propaedeutic function. A fancy Greek term meaning that a small fraction of kids will quietly be taught how to take over management of this continuing project, made guardians of a population deliberately dumbed down and rendered childish in order that government and economic life can be managed with a minimum of hassle.”
What Will You Do?
And there you have it, in a nutshell, so how will you educate your children?
There was a time when the government schooling agenda was still well-hidden, but that time has passed.
From critical race theory to gender identity topics, from a lack of basic competency in key subjects to our severely low literacy rates, we are in a serious crisis.
On top of that, our falling literacy rates highlight the dumbed-down minds of the American people.
Not just nationally, but globally. I travel a lot, and I can tell you that Americans have a reputation for not being too bright. With such a low literacy rate, it is no wonder.
Therefore, if we want to raise children who are not dumbed-down, children who are not lacking in the basic traits that comprise “good” character, then we need to do something about it.
And that something is not school.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework to raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of better character.
As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because Liz will empower you to feel confident, calm, and motivated; as well as provide you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
Is Sex Education Sexualizing Our Children?→
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Are four-year-old children developmentally ready to learn about sex? Are children of any age ready for this kind of education?
No, they are NOT!
Ironically, we teach children to believe in Santa Claus, but, in the same vein, we have sex-education classes for kindergartners. Freud would have fun untangling this web of inconsistencies.
One of the problems is that rather than deter children from an interest in sex, sex-education classes have the opposite effect.
A Not-So-Good Idea.
According to Dr. Melvin Anchell, who wrote the book What's Wrong With Sex Education, teaching sex education in the classroom has led to significant increases in teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity, teenage abortions, and, not surprisingly, depression and suicide.
While the reasons for this are more than we can tackle here, let's look at a few of them to get a sense of what is taking place in the classroom.
For starters, when we introduce children to the concept of sex at an early age and do it in mixed classrooms, we remove that natural barrier of modesty which children have, especially the modesty between girls and boys.
We then reduce sex education to the mechanics of a physical act and ignore its purpose, which is procreation and a physical expression of the emotional state called love.
The earlier children begin to think about the mechanics of sex; however, the more desensitized they become to a physical act that was once held sacred.
Having removed the barrier of modesty, the more curious young people become about sex, the less forbidden sex begins to seem.
Dr. Anchell's findings make perfect sense in a world where elementary sex education has been normalized for children attending public schools.
Lifestyle Choices
In the 21st century, we have begun to teach preschoolers that two women or two men make a family.
To each his own but why is this a topic in preschool? What happened to Winnie the Poor or Peter Rabbit stories?
The idea of teaching four-year-olds that two fathers make a family and two mothers make a family is unnecessary unless you are trying to indoctrinate them into the idea. Then yes, the earlier, the better.
It isn’t necessary to teach these things because children don’t think in these constructs until they are older. We never taught them that a father and a mother make up a family, did we?
Children do not judge the various types of "families" in the world. Children take life as it comes without preconceived notions. Whatever world they grow up in will seem normal to them until they are old enough to evaluate it objectively.
Furthermore, what happened to schools teaching subjects such as grammar, Latin, poetry, and Ancient history? Why do we no longer teach these subjects, subjects that children do need to learn if we want them to be well-educated.
After all, isn't that why they are in school?
Benefit vs. Harm?
And, if teaching sex education to children leads to significant increases in teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity, teenage abortions, depression, and suicide, as Dr. Anchell reports, then doesn't this tell us that sex education in the classroom is potentially harmful to our children?
If this is true, it would be prudent to understand what your children are being taught in the name of education.
“If no set of moral ideas were truer or better than any other, there would be no sense in preferring civilized morality to savage morality.”
Planned Parenthood has many educational videos on Youtube produced for children ranging from learning the Latin names their genitalia to enlightening them about gender identity. As you watch the videos, pay close attention to the language that is being used and the assumptions being made.
This is the same language and these are the same assumptions your children are being exposed to in public school.
Here is one inside into Planned Parenthood’s nefarious agenda. If your children are in school, please watch this.
The Sex Education Standards
You can easily check out the National Sexuality Education Standards to learn about the K-12 sexual education objectives as taught in public school today. The information is online and available to anyone who chooses to dig a little deeper for on behalf of their children.
To give you an idea of what you'll find in the Standards, for example, kindergartners are now taught anatomy. There is nothing wrong with teaching anatomy, but, curiously, no other body parts are mentioned except for the proper names of the male and female genitalia.
A Novel Idea
Have you ever heard a child refer to their private parts by their proper names? On the contrary, as already stated, children have a natural modesty about these things. Why take that away from them?
The onus is not on our children to make sure they are safe from predators; that’s our job. In addition, there is no scientific research that validates the claim that children need to be taught the Latin terms in order to protect them from predators.
Furthermore, most adults cannot identify the location of their liver or pancreas, but somehow, a kindergartner should know the proper names of their genitalia?
It would be more fitting to teach students where their organs were located, but maybe not when they are five-years-old.
Feeling Feelings
Consider this standard: "Identify healthy ways for friends to express feelings to each other." Take note that this need to "express feelings to each" is a part of sex-education courses, not a course in communication.
What do they mean by healthy ways that young children express their feelings to one another? Can you imagine an eight-year-old boy going up to his eight-year-old friend, also a boy, and saying, "I'd like to express my feelings to you by telling you that I really like you."
This is not the kind of conversation boys and girls engage in. Maybe they will say something such as, "I like you" or "let's be best friends," as I remember saying to my childhood best friend, but that is the extent of it.
Young children are not thinking about their "feelings" for one another because they don't understand the abstract concept of "feelings."
They either like you or they don’t!
Attempting to teach children about their feelings within the context of sex education, and then teaching them about various sexual practices will naturally get them wondering which may explain why another sexual practice is also on the rise…
Yes, these are things our schooled children are being exposed to today, and we have little to no say over it.
“How can one be well...when one suffers morally”
Let Boys Be Boys!
Here's another of the Standard's objectives: "Provide examples of how friends, family, media, society and culture influence ways in which boys and girls think they should act."
Shouldn't a healthy society teach girls to behave like girls and boys to behave like boys? Evidently not. Instead, we teach them that they can choose their pronouns as easily as they can choose the color of their hair.
Which begs only one question, have we gone totally insane?
In public school, children are expected to ponder the societal influences on their behavior, based on their gender type, yet, Western psychology understands that children are too young to ruminate over these concepts. So...who is fooling whom?
“The goal of a boy should be to become a man, and that of a girl to become a woman.”
Gender type, that's another good one.
Between the third and the fifth grade, a child should: "Define sexual orientation as the romantic attraction of an individual to someone of the same gender or a different gender."
No comment.
Between sixth and eighth grades, your child should be able to: "Differentiate between gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation."
No comment.
There are many reasons to keep your children out of public school, but protecting them from inappropriate exposure to sexual material and subsequent non-sensical value judgments should be at the top of any diligent parent's list.
The environment your children grow up in will help to shape who they become. Research shows that 75% of children will adopt the beliefs they are taught in school.
Childhoods for Children
Children cannot have a wholesome childhood without keeping their innocence intact. Part of their "coming of age" includes being introduced to matters reserved for the adult world when it is appropriate to be introduced to them.
WHEN IT IS APPROPRIATE TO BE INTRODUCED TO THEM.
The Perpetrator
There are developmental stages in which this happens. But when the stages are interrupted and sped up to meet a perverse agenda largely pushed by taxpayer-funded Planned Parenthood, one has to wonder what is going on?
Did you know that between 2013 and 2015, taxpayers funded Planned Parenthood to the tune of 1.5 billion dollars? This is an organization that earns a lot of money itself, not only by performing abortions but by selling the aborted fetal cells and body parts to research companies including the vaccine industry which uses fetal cells to grow its viruses.
“Planned Parenthood lied to the public and to Congress, but now there is no longer any reasonable doubt that Planned Parenthood sold fetal body parts, commodifying living children in the womb and treating pregnant women like a cash crop. The U.S. Department of Justice must escalate the enforcement of laws against fetal trafficking to the highest level of priority.”
Thanks to Planned Parenthood, since the 1960s, we have children who are being deprived of a normal childhood in the name of "social change" and the sundry societal ramifications that come with it.
Parents as Protectors
Therefore, each parent should do everything in their power to oppose Planned Parenthood’s influence on our children by providing a wholesome childhood for the precious being they brought into this world.
Protecting your children has to begin with keeping them out of any school, public or private, that does not protect their innocence.
Sex education is something children should learn about in the home and from their parents (In modest cultures, it isn’t even a topic that’s discussed between parent and child). It is a parent's right to decide if and when to approach the subject; it should never be a decision for public or private schools to make.
As we raise our children, we must remember that we are our children's guardians, and we must guard our children well.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
#1 Huge Mistake Parents Are Making→
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No parent would want to raise their child to be less intelligent than he could be.
Yet, every single day, around the world, parents are doing one critical thing that gets in the way of their children’s intellectual development.
Their children are spending way too much time on screens. Whether it’s for educational purposes or simple entertainment, screens are screens.
The Hard Facts
From one study by Hikaru Takeuchi, et al, “Excessive internet use is shown to be cross sectionally associated with lower cognitive functioning and reduced volume of several brain areas.”
According to Common Sense Media’s latest research, 50% of teens report that they feel addicted to their phones while 59% of their parents say the teens are addicted.
That’s a lot of teens who are addicted to their phones.
The younger a child is, the more damaging technology is to the development of his brain. This is a hard fact of science.
Effects on the Growing Brain
Technology use in childhood interferes with the neural connections in the brain, and it is the neural connections that make up our intelligence.
Logic would have it that the less neural connections a brain makes, the less intelligent an individual would become.
We are seeing first-hand the evidence of the numbing effect technology has on children’s minds with a new generation of tech babies who have come of age.
There are so many studies reporting the ill effects of technology on the brains of children.
It cannot be argued otherwise unless you have billions of dollars and spread false propaganda to sell your products like the video game lobby does.
Video games alone pull in 300 billion dollars per year! The industry pays lobbyists to convince congressmen that video games are beneficial.
Inability to Focus and ADHD
We know that technology use interferes with our ability to focus. With so many children playing video games, and so many children diagnosed with ADHD, I wonder how much technology has to do with it?
Maybe instead of medicating our kids, we removed technology from their lives, they might learn to focus better.
So many adults self-label themselves with ADHD when they don’t have ADHD. People say it so often that it’s become a euphemism for a lack of focus.
The hard facts of the matter are that we’re spending too much time online.
True Story
I spoke with a woman once who lost her son to technology. He became addicted as a teenager, and when he finally recovered, she said he was never the same kid.
She didn’t have a strong connection with him like she had with her other children, because the technology had damaged his brain.
It was a heartbreaking story, and one that will be shared with more and more parents until we come to terms with the truth about technology.
We will serve our children best by getting rid of the gadgets. And be willing to deal with the complaints and the anger your kids will probably display for the first few weeks, because eventually, they’ll get over it.
You don’t want to lose your kids to technology, as so many parents have. We now have a plethora of addiction centers for withdrawing from technology because the addiction is real.
And each child with a device is a potential victim.
If you have your kids online for school, drop that too. Homeschooling offline is much easier, more rewarding, and more enjoyable.
May we ditch the brain-draining, mind-numbing screens and provide our children with a more brain-activating, mind-developing experience instead.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
4 Reasons Your Kids Should Skip Halloween This Year→
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I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.
Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.
But now, I stand on the side of those who think we should ban Halloween.
#1 Health & Mixed Messages
Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.
Do you have any idea how much sugar they consume? The average child consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!
Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.
The gross amount of sugar consumption creates severe sugar spikes in our children's blood levels, leaving them feeling not so well.
Overeating candy comes with the underconsumption of wholesome foods, which only exacerbates the problem.
Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table— wow.
I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate the intention behind this gesture, is it sending our kids the right message?
We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.
How can turning our kids into greedy candy peddlers be a solution?
#2 Manners & Strangers
We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year, we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.
One gutsy moment for me as a child happened on my way home from school. I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day of sitting in classrooms.
At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with stomach pains from hunger, we had this bright idea.
We could trick-or-treat!
We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?"
She gave us some candy anyway.
As a mother reflecting on the idea of trick or treating, it strikes me as being a contradiction of everything we’ve taught our children thus far.
We teach them that it's not polite to ask for things, yet once a year, it is permitted. We teach our kids not to speak to strangers and NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet once a year, it is permissible.
Of course, there are always exceptions to the rules, but this one seems to go a little too far.
#3 Corporate Horror Show
Halloween has become a creepy holiday; the decorations have become gothic and violent since the corporate world has recognized it’s money-making potential.
When we were little, we had innocent little costumes: princesses and cowboy outfits. You could be a witch if you wanted, but the witch was harmless.
In my old neighborhood, a neighbor had gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved and looked like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, my kids used to get scared because the scene looked so real.
So did I!
And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor in the town next to us would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror movie. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.
Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.
#4 Waste & Starvation
I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.
For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste.
The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly. (2022 stats)
My god, that's shameful.
What Can Kids Do Instead of Trick or Treating?
Have a costume party
Start a local fund and ask people to donate $5.00—instead of buying a pumpkin—and then use the money to donate food to a local charity.
Study the history of Halloween, the practice of Halloween, and the contradictions of Halloween, and ask your children to take a position for or against it and write an age-appropriate essay.
What You Should Not Do
Don’t take a stance of moral superiority if you decide to skip Halloween.
I had a friend once whose children would stay home on Halloween. When the neighborhood kids knocked on their door, they would offer candy and then explain to them why they didn’t celebrate Halloween.
The unspoken was that the family was morally superior to those ill-fated enough to knock on their door, and no one accepted candy from that family without feeling a little less good about themselves.
Instead, teach your children that everyone is entitled to their beliefs and to their opinions, just as your children are entitled to their own.
While your children may not always agree with other people, they do need to respect other people’s ways because each person on earth is worthy of being treated with respect and dignity.
And lastly, if you decide to skip Halloween, don’t give candy to other people’s children. Put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door and leave it at that.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
How to Save Hundreds of Dollars While Homeschooling→
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Thinking of homeschooling but not sure you can afford it? Here’s a few ways you can save money and earn money while homeschooling.
Read More4 Ways to Handle People Who Disapprove of Homeschooling→
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The disapproving glances. The unsolicited advice. The warning by unhappy family members and friends that you're going to ruin your child if you homeschool.
Read More3 Things Your Child Must Do Even if It Makes You Panic →
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Sometimes we parents can be very irrational.
We aren’t afraid to let our children do things that may be damaging to their development like play video games or watch TV; but then our fear gets in the way of letting them do things that are good for their development like taking risks and having adventures of their own making.
Children need to be in the natural world taking risks, getting dirty, and having fun. Without taking risks, they don’t learn the limitations of their bodies and may be more prone to accidents later, nor will they develop their courage muscles.
Courage is an essential quality because we don’t want our kids to be paralyzed from fear and unable to live life to its fullest.
With that in mind, here are three things that you must let your children do no matter how much it makes you panic:
1) Climb a Tree
Children have a natural sense of what they can do and what they can't do. Serious accidents are uncommon, but in the helicopter parenting world, parents are afraid (moms especially) to let their children do things because they "might" get hurt.
Let them get hurt! A few bumps and scrapes won't kill them. They even survive broken bones.
We grew up in Northern California amongst the redwood trees, the most towering trees in the world. We would climb trees until we got tired of climbing or too scared to climb any higher, which was usually about 30 feet off the ground (an educated guess looking back many years!).
Yes, it was scary, but it was also a thrill.
“The woods were my Ritalin. Nature calmed me, focused me, and yet excited my senses.”
We felt like conquerors; not of land, but of our fear. We felt a sense of accomplishment to have climbed so high, and it gave us a sense of confidence, excitement, and adventure.
Not everyone has such tall trees available to them, but I have since witnessed mothers who were afraid to let their four-year-old climb a thick tree branch that was two feet off the ground.
When we say things like, "Stop, that's too dangerous!" we interfere with our child’s developmental process and experience of living with joy.
Once I saw a child, with a pure look of excitement in her eyes, attempt to do something daring only to have her parent tell her to stop.
I literally watched the light of her excitement as it got snuffed.
If something is too dangerous–as in serious injury or death could result–you probably want to intervene, but beyond that let children do what children do best.
2) Make Mud Pies
Children love to play in the mud. They don't think in constructs of clean or dirty, but only of fun, exciting, and entertaining. And playing in the mud is nothing if it isn’t fun, exciting, and entertaining.
So, indulge them.
“Time in nature is not leisure time; it’s an essential investment in our chidlren’s health (and also, by the way, in our own).”
When my children were young, we had a backyard with a large section of dirt in it. They spent hours there covering themselves in mud to their heart's content. Mud was matted in their hair, dripping from their ears, and embedded in their clothes by the time they were finished.
They made mud pies and had make-believe meals, they examined the mud as they closed their fists around it and watched it squish through their fingers, and they had lots of mud fights.
Yes, I had a huge mess to clean up, but it was always more amusing to me than anything else.
Mud is a perfect medium for developing your children’s senses, imagination, and motor skills. it's a great natural resource that will keep them occupied for hours.
Eat Mud
I know this might be over the top for many of you, but unless you live in an area where they spray pesticides or you live in a high traffic zone, then let your children eat mud. They won't eat much, but they do like to taste it.
I remember eating mud when I was young. It tasted like clay, but I don't think I did more than just taste it. The point is that there was no one hovering over me telling me to stop.
And if an adult had been nearby, they wouldn’t have been worried about it either. Tasting mud was a part of childhood - all children try it at some point. Who doesn't want to know what a little bit of mud tastes like?
“Nature is often overlooked as a healing balm for the emotional hardships in a child’s life.”
According to modern science, immersing themselves in mud boosters their immune systems. We even have an International Mud Day on June 29th now. This holiday must be in retaliation for the hyper-sterile environment that children in the post-modern world are raised in.
According to the "Hygiene Hypothesis," the sterile environment is putting children at risk for allergies, asthma, and autoimmune diseases as they get older.
Their reasoning is that the immune system develops by exposure to bacteria, viruses, and parasites, and in the modernly-sterile environment children's immune systems are not being exposed to them enough, and therefore, they’re immune systems aren't as strong as they should be.
It’s a theory, and not one I personally subscribe to, but it’s important to understand that exposure to germs strengthens our immunity. Ironically, as much as we try to prevent childhood diseases, many of these diseases are safer to contract as children than as an adult.
3) Rolling Down Hills
In my childhood, we used to climb to the top of a hill and then see who could roll down the fastest. What fun we had.
Do children still roll down hills today?!
I sympathize with any parent who does not want their child to ruin his clothes, especially if you are on a tight budget. And that’s why kids need clothes they can get dirty in.
While it's fine to have an outfit or two for when the occasion calls, the day-to-day dress of a child should not be designer clothes but rough and tumble clothes.
And one last thing, remember that a few bumps, and bruises never killed anyone. Children take pride in their bumps and bruises especially the ones that require some cleaning and bandaging.
They're a sign of the battles fought on the playground of life.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
3 Questions to Answer Before You Begin to Homeschool→
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Many parents are choosing to homeschool today because of the inappropriate content being taught in public schools. They are also frustrated with the substandard education children have been receiving for too long.
However, while it’s critical to keep your children out of an institution notorious for the poor character and education standards it maintains, there are a few questions to ask yourself before you begin to homeschool.
Know Your Why
If we don’t fully understand why we are doing something, our chances of following through in the most effective way are compromised.
For example, if you tell someone not to eat extra protein while he is trying to build muscle but you don't explain why, he'll be less likely to follow through. He also needs to know what foods contain the highest amounts of protein, so he can reach his goal.
Home education is no different.
You want to know why public school has failed as well as what kind of an education model does work. If you can answer the question to both of these accurately, then you will be 100% committed and able to give your child a stellar education at home.
John Taylor Gatto’s best selling book, Dumbing Us Down, is the best place to begin. It will expose the fundamental problems with school making an alternative option the obvious solution.
My Why
My biggest "why" for homeschooling was that I wanted my children to have integrity, and I recognized that this was something we lost in a system that teaches us conformity. After integrity, I wanted my kids to develop their minds to the fullest.
I knew enough of the history behind public school to be 100% determined to homeschool, rain or shine. Nothing would have induced me to put my kids into a system that I knew would fail them, as it had failed me.
If we don’t have a firm commitment to homeschooling, it’s very easy to fall back on public or even private schools during difficult times.
While fear is the best motivator, fear is not the best reason to homeschool. We want to resist falling prey to a fearful mindset and adopt a proactive mindset moving forward.
We want to become someone who is determined to give their child a better education at home no matter what difficulties we might encounter.
Which begs the question, what kind of an education is the best?
2. What Education Model Should You Choose?
You will come across a lot of different homeschooling models, and it will be difficult to know which is best. Unfortunately, we now face the problem of too many blind leading the blind in the homeschooling community, so deciding who to take advice from may be a challenge.
But since you're here, I’m going to encourage you to follow a traditional approach to education because we know it works. Our safest bet is to choose that which is know to train the mind most effectively and this leads us directly to the classics.
In America, the liberal arts education, which is often referred to as a classical education, is what our children were taught when our literacy rates peaked during the 19th century.
Today, we have reached such a low point in our academic history with 54% of Americans reading above a fifth grade level. An educated guess is that a fifth grade level today was probably the equivalent of a second grade level in 1900.
For example, a third grade test in the 19th Century included questions, such as:
Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.
Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, super.
Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
The Classics
The classics have produced some of the greatest minds in Western history including Cicero, who was considered one of Rome’s greatest rhetoricians; and Thomas Aquinas, who debated with the Catholic Church for ten years, finally convincing it that the study of Aristotelean logic was not a threat to the religion.
“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”
Let’s not forget the words of Martin Luther King, who said that we should judge a man by the content of his character, not the color of his skin.
If you are going to put your time and energy into homeschooling, why not give your children the best possible training of the mind?
If you are worried that your own mind is not well-trained, don't be. You will learn alongside your children and do the best job you can. If you dedicate yourself to the task, you are capable of giving your children anr education superior to that of any public school and most private schools.
Seneca the Younger said that “By teaching, we learn.” This is the attitude to adopt when you reach for the homeschooling stars!
3. How Do I Help My Child Develop Good Character?
Raising a child with good character has always been considered the most important component of raising a child. “Education" goes under the rubric of “raising a child,” it does not stand above it.
You will find a lot of workbooks with exercises regarding character, or you will be advised to teach your children about their “feelings,” or you will come across books that teach lessons about good character, but this is not the way to raise a child up in the ways of good character.
Developing good character requires action, the right sort of action. Reading moral stories will supplement what children are learning in real life, but they cannot replace the action required to develop good character.
The truth is that most of us aren't taught how character develops anymore, so we can be confused on this point, yet it is the most fundamental aspect of raising a child.
The Ancients taught that a life well-lived was a moral life, and modern research has proven this is true, which is one of the reasons I don’t wait for the research. We spend billions of dollars trying to understand how to live well, when all we need is to go back to the classics.
Do you think after so many thousands of years, we have not yet figured these things out!
Homeschooling Is a Job
Homeschooling is not a job we take lightly. It is the education of our children. While I know any committed and willing parent can do a better job teaching their child at home, the tide in the homeschooling community is shifting.
A friend of mine, who worked in a co-op school, told me that the "homeschooled" kids they have been accepting lately we're all behind.
I attribute this to parents not taking the time to understand the very things I just pointed out as well as not adopting a proactive mindset towards homeschooling.
Too many of us keep our kids out of school for fear of negative influences without understanding the deeper problems with modern education; too many of us are using government and virtual programs without realizing that we're turning to the beast for help, and too many of us have no idea how to intentionally raise a child with good character.
We don't have to be an expert in each subject we teach, but we have to understand why we are homeschooling; what constitutes a good education, how character develops, and how to provide these things for our children.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
3 Ways Homeschooled Kids Get Behind→
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An idea that gets thrown around in the homeschooling community is that wherever your kids are is "exactly where they are meant to be".
However, unless we are speaking philosophically about the nature of being, it isn't exactly true.
It's a useful concept to remember in moments when, for example, we just missed a plane to China, lost a lot of money in the stock market, or our two-year old destroyed our living room, but not when it comes to our children's education.
When it comes to our children's education, we need to be on top of our game, so we can help them get the most out of their prime learning years.
Optimal Learning Windows
Children have windows of optimal learning, and when we miss these windows, we fail to optimize our child's learning potential.
For example, grammar is not a subject that we should teach a child who is 5 or 6, but if a child does not know his 8 parts of speech by the time he's 9 or 10, well, in my book, that's a little behind.
If your child is 10 years old and can't read, that's a little behind.
This idea that we are "never behind" is empty rhetoric, and we should reject it.
We can get our kids behind what they are capable of learning when we are not diligent homeschoolers.
Here are 3 ways we hinder our children from reaching their full learning potential:
1. Using substandard Programs
If we are doing public-school-at-home or using a virtual, state-approved homeschool program, our children are not going to get the same quality of education they might get if we followed a more serious education model.
Why go to all the trouble of homeschooling and then teach our kids exactly what the state is teaching in school?
2. Failing to Plan
I'm not a natural planner, but I have learned over the years that having a solid plan in place increases our chances of reaching our goals, including our homeschooling goals.
While planning is an essential part of reaching goals, the way we get there never precisely matches the way we planned to get there, but we still need to do our planning. If not, we could end up anywhere.
Aren't you more focused when you have a deadline to meet? What about when you have limited time to complete something? Think about how quickly you clean your house after hearing that an unexpected guest is coming!
A plan allows us to put the structure in place and create deadlines, so we have a greater chance of reaching our goals. If I only have from 9 - 1 to work with my kids, I’m going to stay a lot more focused than when I have no start or ending time.
“Action without planning is the cause of all failure. Action with planning is the cause of all success.”
When we don't add structure our homeschooling days any little thing that comes up can distract us. And each distraction is one more thing that gets in the way of our kids moving ahead.
3. A Misguided Attitude
I am guilty of calling homeschooling a lifestyle as much as the next person, but is it? A lifestyle is the style in which we live in the same way that we have a style in which we dress. Some people dress in expensive designer clothes, and others dress in second-hand clothes. Some people dress casually; others dress formally.
So yes, we have different homeschooling lifestyles, but regardless, we want to remember that first and foremost, homeschooling is a job.
While we aren’t heading off to the local school every morning as an employed teach might, we have chosen the path of being a self-employed teacher to our children.
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”
Of course, things will happen and throw us off schedule, but they should be the exception, not the norm.
Also, the "behind" we refer to is in relation to the public school objectives. But we want our goals for our kids to be higher; we want to help them maximize their best learning and work hard to give them the education they deserve.
Conclusion
When all is said and done, as long as you are using a sound curriculum, you understand what kids need to learn and how to teach them, your kids are listening to you and doing their work, and you are doing your very best, your kids will probably be ahead—not behind—and exactly where they should be!
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
4 Tips to Manage Unexpected Challenges When Homeschooling→
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Unexpected challenges will happen, and how we handle them will make all the difference.
Read MoreThe Productive Mother's Homeschooling Routine→
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We know the hours can easily disappear when we don't have a schedule in place for our day, especially when homeschooling.
“Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution; this gives you a 1,000 percent Return on Energy!”
To reach your new homeschool year’s goals, you want to set your days up for success.
Otherwise, you’ll feel overwhelmed and exhausted scrambling to get everything done after you’ve run out of time. In other words, you won’t get it done.
It happened to me, and it’ll happen to you too if you don’t watch out!
One way to be more productive during the day is to create a morning routine.
HOW TO PLAN YOUR MORNING
Planning your morning is a matter of working backwards, starting with the night before. You have to decide what time you will go to sleep, so you get enough sleep to wake up at the optimal time to perform your morning routine.
As a mother of two, the morning hours were important to me as they are probably important to you. Waking up an hour or so before your children will give you a less harried start on the day.
To create your morning routine, you have to first decide what are the important things you want to do as a part of your routine.
Whatever you decide, write your schedule down on paper so you can see it in front of you. Pin it to the wall or wherever you want to put it to remind yourself of each step. You want to follow a certain order too, so your routine becomes a habit you don’t have to think about.
After coffee, you read for 30 minutes; after reading, you go for a 30-minute walk and so forth.
The things you write down will be your morning ritual. It’s sounds so simple, but it will have a huge impact on how much you get done. Planning a routine is also a proactive strategy which will serve to keep your stress levels down as well.
But it doesn’t stop there, not when you have kids!
THE OFFSPRING RITUAL
You want to follow your morning ritual with what I call the Offspring ritual.
Teach your children to get into the habit of getting up at a certain hour each day and performing their morning ritual. Maybe they start their day by brushing their teeth and then chatting with you for 10 or 15 minutes to reconnect after a good night’s sleep.
After a good chat, they run off to get dressed, put their dirty clothes in the hamper, make their beds, and come in for breakfast at a designated time.
(Eating on a schedule is much better for your children’s health than eating at random meal times.)
Depending on how you set things up, you can prepare breakfast while they are getting ready or you can enjoy another cup of coffee and wait for them to help you prepare it.
After a relaxed breakfast, the children clean up while you get ready to teach And that’s why we also need a homeschool ritual.
After you finish eating breakfast with your children, you will head to your homeschool room and examine your plan for the day and prepare to teach your children.
Once your mind is in gear for teaching, you can ring your school bell!
THE HOMESCHOOLING RITUAL
A general rule is to teach your most essential subjects first, the ones that if there were an interruption to your day, you could still relax knowing you'd gotten those finished.
Language arts and math for the morning hours work well.
Give your children 2-minute breaks when they begin to get restless, so they can stretch, run around the block, or jump on a trampoline. Getting a good dose of oxygen into their brains will replenish their thinking energy.
You want to schedule a long lunchtime break when they can eat and then go outside and play for a while.
Let the morning hours be the more intense hours of study, and in the afternoon you can take it easy. Read some history, do a science experiment, or read a story out loud. Some days you may have outings planned with other homeschoolers.
Always make sure you children have enough some time to read or pursue their hobbies; practice an instrument, do some artwork, or play a sport.
On the days when you stay home, try to finish homeschooling around the same time each day, so everyone has leisure time before dinner including, and most importantly, yourself!
Final Reminders
If you create a schedule and adhere to it, you will prevent your day from slipping right past you. Otherwise you’ll find that too many times the afternoon has rolled around, and you have barely made it past grammar.
“Excellence / Perfection is not a destination; it is a continuous journey that never ends.”
The key to your success with keeping a routine is to keep in mind that we are not perfect beings and some days we will falter in our plan. We don’t tell ourselves we are hopeless at sticking to a plan, as this will reinforce that behavior.
Instead we get up the next day with a new intention, and we start all over again. Eventually, we will get better and discover the freedom and ease that comes with keeping to a plan not to mention more productive homeschooling days!
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
Raising Stellar Kids Begins With Our Habits!→
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We impact our children’s character development every single day through our own behavior.
Yet, we don’t stop often enough to reflect upon the messages we send our children through our words and actions — even the expressions on our face.
For example, a common habit which we all have today is spending time on our phones around our children.
The typical scenario looks like this: We’re texting a friend or maybe we’re surfing the web when the child asks for something. We reply by telling him to wait as we continue looking at our screen.
The child begins to whine, and we mumble to him that we’ll be there in a second. But we’re not there in a second.
The message a child gets is that the phone is more important than he is.
“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”
— Phyllis Diller
Those two minutes we intend to spend on the phone can add up to hours in a day, and the hours in a day, over time, can add up to weeks and so on and so on.
To put things in perspective, in 2023, the average person will spend 3.15 hours on their phone every day; 12.6 hours per week; 50.4 hours per month; 604.8 hours per year.
You can see what a strong message we give our kids when we take a “quick” glance at our phones.
In addition, our kids will probably grow up to repeat the same pattern with their children. Don’t you find yourself repeating patterns that were once your parents?
I’m not suggesting we should cater to our child’s every whim, only that we should be diligent in the way we show up for our kids.
We can replace the smartphone with any bad habit, such as, eating junk food or eating too much; not exercising, using bad language, not keeping our word, gossiping, telling too many “white” lies, or working too much.
Our bad habits become examples for our children, so if we want to raise our kids well, we have to start by working on ourselves.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ”
— Aristotle
Raising kids above the fold takes a combination of factors and one of these factors is our own habits.
We need to reflect on our habits because it’s easy to go through life oblivious to things that seem inconsequential at the moment, but with time they become lessons we teach our children, for better or for worse.
Let’s take inventory of our habits; the things we think, say, and do — are they messages that will serve us and serve our children well over time?
If not, let’s work to replace those bad habits with good habits.
Start with one bad habit, conquer it, and then choose another. To try and tackle many bad habits at once would be to invite defeat. One step at a time in replacing the bad with the good while we adopt better habits for ourselves.
Be specific with ourselves about precisely what bad habit we are replacing with what good habit, so every time we find ourselves falling back into the bad one, we can quickly self-correct by replacing it with the good habit.
It’s not until our children are older and have developed their own habits, values, and beliefs that we come face-to-face with our own shortcomings.
We’ll naturally become more effective parents if we become aware of the little things we do that add up to the big lessons we teach.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
What Key Trait Do Independent Thinkers Possess?→
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It's easy to adorn oneself according to the latest fad, but it’s not so easy to stand in one’s truth when it goes against mob rule.
Learning to think and act independently requires courage: the courage to do what's right and just even in the face of ridicule, the loss of friends, or a loss of income.
John Taylor Gatto was an excellent example. He quit teaching when he was in his 60s, because he discovered that schools were causing more harm to children than good.
As a public schoolteacher, he believed that he was a part of the problem.
John sent an op-ed to the Wall Street Journal and announced his decision to quit teaching in schools. When you are a couple of years away from retirement and a pension plan, it takes a lot of courage to walk away.
“Character is higher than intellect.”
Sporting purple hair and nose rings is not a sign of an independent character. People who dye their hair crazy colors and fill their bodies with tattoos and rings are following a group-think fad in spite of their belief to the contrary.
We should teach our children to dress well and to conform to outward standards of propriety but to be nonconforming in their attitudes, beliefs and values.
Because the greater independence of the mind is not manifest outwardly; it's an inward state.
To raise our children to be independent in mind, we need to foster courage in their characters.
People often mistake courage for the absence of fear, but the absence of fear can lead to rashness. Courage is not an absence of fear, but the ability to act in spite of one’s fear.
For example, my children performed at piano recitals, recited poetry to small audiences, and attended public speaking classes. Through these kind of activities, they learned to develop their courage muscle.
Permitting your child to run into a local grocery store alone, to climb a tree, or to ride a bike for the first time are all activities that will strengthen his courage.
Every day there will be opportunities to let our children strengthen their courage.
As we know from Aristotle, and as we can observe in our own lives, our daily habits add up to the quality of our characters.
Children like to challenge themselves, and we need to encourage them to do so. The more they learn to face challenges in spite of the difficulty or discomfort, the more courage they develop.
“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”
Having courage will also help to preserve their moral integrity, because having moral integrity requires us to stand in our truth both privately and in public.
Someone once told me that I needed to develop a “public” persona. In other words, I should have two selves; one for the public and one for my private life.
But I believe the goal is to have one self.
As Shakespeare said in Hamlet:
“This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
4 Strategies to Raise Low-Tech Kids Who Excel Academically and Socially→
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We are now raising kids in a cultural environment that is not conducive to developing good social skills or well-trained minds.
Your biggest obstacle to raising solid kids today is technology. You will first need to understand just a little about how technology affects the growing brain, and then I’ll share my 3 strategies for raising kids who excel socially and academically.
Your Child’s Precious Brain Cells
Did you know your child is born with about 100 billion brain cells and that these cells make trillions of connections with one another during his first three years of life?
And did you know that those very connections form the foundation of his intelligence?
Yet, because of the overuse of technology, too many children are not receiving adequate stimulation during the pre-adolescent years which inhibits the formation of new neural pathways.
On top of that, if they don’t sufficiently use the pathways they have formed; the unused pathways will be sloughed off at adolescence.
“Technology: ‘the knack of so arranging the world that we don’t have to experience it.”
Simply put, despite the generous pediatric recommendations, if your child is in the habit of using technology, chances are there may be some delays and possible disruption to his developmental processes.
I am going to be blunt with you: if your child is using technology, he may not become as intelligent as a child who has a tech-free childhood. It is the obvious conclusion when you understand how technology affects the growing brain.
What Can A Parent Do?
With our children being targeted by educational software companies, and with the gaming industry's enormously powerful lobby, navigating a world with less technology does require some effort.
It is possible and you can do it, however, you must be intentional if you want to raise an intelligent, ethical, critically-thinking child.
There are 4 things you can do which will protect your child mind, and by default, make your life easier. .
Strategy #1: Out of Sight, Out of Mind
The first action you can take is to remember that your children will not ask for technology if they don't see you using it or see it in the home.
Therefore, out of sight, out of mind.
Host your television and computer in your bedroom and / or office, and, for the most part, keep yourself unplugged during the time that you spend with your children.
As far as your home is concerned, it's really that simple.
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
Strategy #2: Going Against the Grain
When you visit friends, don't be shy to let them know that you are raising your children in a low-tech zone and that you prefer your children play with their kids rather than plugin together.
After all, that’s why you brought them over—to play together.
When it comes to our children's well-being, we have to stand up for what is best for them, even if we get slack from others.
We have to remind ourselves that our child’s well-being is more important to us than what others think about our choices.
Fortunately, most intelligent and reasonable parents will respect your request. (If they don't, you may want to question the value of their friendship.)
Strategy #3: The Forbidden Apple Syndrome
Here is the crux of the matter, though: You absolutely must find like-minded family and friends to raise your children with.
You cannot be the only parent to say "no" to technology; otherwise, technology is exactly what your child will seek out the minute he leaves home. We call it the Forbidden Apple syndrome.
If you don’t find like-minded friends, your children will see you as the odd parent who doesn’t like technology.
“If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.”
Underneath this new attitude towards you will be one of disrespect. It's the curse of raising kids in the West where mainstream practices are not often what’s best for our children.
What if you can’t find like-minded friends? The sad answer is that you will probably have to compromise a little to avoid the Forbidden Apple syndrome.
#4 Homeschool Your Kids
When you homeschool your children, it is much easier to keep them off screens. As a homeschooler, you will hopefully raise strong readers, and strong readers excel academically.
Instead of giving your kids screens, you will give them real books.
Your child will develop better social skills by being homeschooled, too. He will not be exposed to the negative social environment so prevalent in schools today. Instead, you will raise him to have good manners and teach him how to get along with other people.
Good social skills are much easier to develop if a child is being homeschooled. It has been studied and proven to be true.
Therefore, keep your kids off of screens!
It must follow, as the night, the day,* they will do better academically and socially.
A line from Hamlet by William Shakespeare
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
The Secret to Raising Grateful Children→
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"No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough!" is a typical complaint from your average 21st-century parent.
While parents are understandably frustrated, they're little ones are growing up to become entitled adults.
Common strategies employed to battle the empidemic of ingratitude are not working either. The Sermon is a perfect example of a strategy that has failed us.
THE SERMON
We lecture our kids to be grateful for what they have, and our lectures fall on deaf ears. They have no idea what we are talking about. For the most part, they always had what they need and gotten what they wanted.
And even if they hadn’t, poor character traits are not conquered by lecturing and “ingratitude” is a poor character trait.
Better not to let the trait develop in the first place!
“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”
— Marcus Aurelius
THE SECRET
The secret, therefore, to teaching your children to appreciate the things you provide for them is to raise them to be minimalists. The less they have, the more appreciative they'll be when you give them more.
The less often you indulge them with their wants, the less they'll come to expect them. When you do give your children a want, they'll be grateful, and they won't forget to say thank you.
The words of true gratitude will come roaring out of them, no prodding needed.
A minimalist philosophy isn't restricted to material goods either. You can apply it to all aspects of your children’s lives by saying “no” to them more than you say “yes.”
John Rosemond calls it Vitamin N. It's not that you want to become a contrarian and rigidly oppose everything your children ask for, but raise them to understand that their wants are not your primary concern.
“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”
— A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
Provide your children with the things they need for emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual growth, but raise them to understand that the goal of your life is not to make them happy but to raise them well.
This isn't to say that you never accommodate a want of theirs, but don't make it a habit to indulge them too much.
What’s the rule?!
It’s simple: say no 75% of the time and say yes 25% of the time. If you practice this ratio of yes to no’s, you’ll see the gratitude scale climb steadily in your home.
A golden parenting rule to remember is that you aren't responsible for making your children happy; that’s up to them to figure out.
And they’ll discover the secret to happiness much faster if you indulge them less.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
5 Reasons Why Leisure Time Matters More than Extra-Curricular Activities
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We over schedule our children and fail to recognize the inherent harm in making extra-curricular activities a priority in our family's life.
Let's look at the consequences of hyper-scheduling our kids.
Stress levels increase for everyone
No one has time to discover the simple pleasures of life
Family time is compromised
Too Many Missed Family Meals
Exhaustion
Yet, our minds and our bodies crave and need downtime to relax and experience life at a slower pace. Our children's needs aren't any different.
Why Leisure Time Matters More
Hobbies
Children need leisure time to learn how to entertain themselves with hobbies like needlepoint, knitting, collecting stamps, or building model airplanes. Maybe they want to explore the outdoors or build something from scratch. Hobbies give us something to look forward to no matter how young or how old we are. During rough patches in life, our hobbies will keep us moving forward.
Social Skills
Leisure time also allows children to go outdoors and play with the neighborhood kids or visit a friend, both of which are crucial to developing good social skills.
“Time is a game played beautifully by children.”
Read a Book
And sometimes, like us, a child just wants to lie down and read a book. There are a lot of reasons why children don't read today, but one of them may be that they don’t have enough leisure time to develop the habit of reading.
Family Time
When each child has multiple extra-curricular activities, there's little time for shared activities as a family.
Your family time begins to revolve around extra-curricular activities; in other words, family life becomes less o a priority than extra-curricular activities.
Exhaustion
Some children need more downtime than others. The over-scheduling of their day can result in fatigue and a loss of enthusiasm. The underlying stress of having too much to do can make them irritable and unpleasant to be around.
We all know what it feels like to be exhausted!
Too Many Missed Family Meals
Often the extra-curricular activities take place in the evenings leaving no one home to cook or serve a family meal. Consequently, the family eats with dad while you rush Tommy to soccer practice.
We know the importance of family meals for children. The more family meals you share, the fewer problems your kids will have. Children need to feel emotionally connected to their family, and meal times is one of the critical ways in which they can connect.
According to research, having family meals at least 4 times a week lowers the risk of obesity, substance abuse, eating disorders, and an increased chance of graduating from high school.
Putting It into Perspective
What's more important at the end of the day?
When your children are grown will it be more important that your kids were in a lot of activities or that your family has a strong bond which keeps you together whether your kids live near you or not.
Instead of over-scheduling your children, in addition to their homeschooling subjects, which would include sports, let them take one class in something they enjoy doing. But don’t let their classes interfere with meal times or weekend activities.
And make sure your children have enough leisure time to figure out where their interests lie and what they're good at.
“If you are losing your leisure, look out! — It may be you are losing your soul.”
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.
As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.
She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
4 Stress-Free Ways to Correct Learning Gaps When Homeschooling→
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Learn about 4 stress-free ways to fill learning gaps!
Read MoreAre We Setting Our Boys Up for Failure?→
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What is the first thing boys learn when they go to school?
Read MoreEven Harvard Says Young Children Do Not Need School!→
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Institutions like Harvard are catching on to what child developmental psychologist have been touting for many years:: schools are not the best place for young children.
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