4 Tips to Raise Honest Children in an Increasingly Dishonest Society

A Dishonest Trend

Ninety-seven percent of schoolchildren cheat to pass exams, according to statistics gathered by Vickie Abeles, who produced the documentary, Race to Nowhere.

I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.
— Friedrich Nietzsche

When my son was an undergrad, he took a statistics exam online—during the Covid days—only to receive an email from the teacher the following day, announcing that some of the students had cheated on the exam.

Juxtapose this to pre-1950s when students were on the honor system and cheating was relatively unheard of.

When the lines between honesty and dishonesty become so blurred that cheating on exams becomes common, we have a problem.

When a grown child finishes school, if he’s learned to cheat in school, he suddenly won’t become someone who never cheats; that’s not how it works.

These children have learned to engage in dishonest behavior, because they were raised in a system that doesn't uphold the values of honesty. Now, if you are younger, the level of dishonesty might not be as obvious to you, but as someone who grew up in relatively honest times, I find it glaring.

And as someone who has lived in countries where cheating is common, I can also tell you that people lose the ability to discern truth from lies. They will cheat you and justify it, because they have lost the ability to discern a “white” lie from a lie.

It’s a fine line but I would say that a white lie is something you might tell someone in order not to hurt their feelings, but a lie is something you might tell someone to deceive them for your benefit.

It’s not as easy to raise a children in the post-modern climate—but there are strategies you can implement to ensure they grow up knowing the difference between right and wrong.

  1. Role Models

Good role models in a child’s life are essential. If the parents treat each other courteously, if they are respectful to their family and friends, if they are honest and helpful with others, their children are more likely to follow suit.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
— Mark Twain

As far as honesty goes, this means we don’t skip paying for an item if the checker overlooked it, or we try to get a discounted price to a national park by lying about one of our children’s ages, or we tell someone we won’t be home when we will be home.

These are untruths that our children will take notice of and do as we do. We can’t model dishonesty and then fault our children when they aren’t honest with us.

2. Discipline

There is also a training through discipline that has to occur, too, as no child is born perfect no matter how good his or her parents may be.

Good wombs have borne bad sons.
— The Tempest, Shakespeare

You have a higher chance of having your children grow up to be civil people if you understand how to train them in the ways of good character. 

3. Public School

Public school can undo your hard work, though, because rudeness and crudeness are now more common, and teachers have little to no authority when it comes to correcting a child's behavior. 

Children sent to school for eight hours a day, where the teachers are not allowed to discipline them, are at an obvious disadvantage for developing healthy character traits.

On the contrary, children who spend their days in a homeschooled environment have a much greater advantage than schoolchildren. Guiding children in the ways of correct behavior is something any discerning homeschool parent can easily do.

Spare the rod, spoil the child, was an old adage that adults used to repeat before the 1960's cultural revolution when the time-tested principles of raising children were abandoned.

4. Modern Inconveniences

Today, we can add to the problem the modern inconvenience of vulgar films, ribald music; silly, literature; violent video games, rude social media behavior, and stupid television programs.

The environment a child grows up in will help to shape his character, which means that we want to be diligent with the kind of multimedia we expose our children to.

In a Nutshell

A child who grows up with the ability to discern truth from falsehood, beauty from ugliness, and good from bad is a child who was guided well in his youth.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

3 Things Your Child Must Do Even if It Makes You Panic

Untitled design (5).png

Sometimes we parents can be very irrational.

We aren’t afraid to let our children do things that may be damaging to their development like play video games or watch TV; but then our fear gets in the way of letting them do things that are good for their development like taking risks and having adventures of their own making.

Children need to be in the natural world taking risks, getting dirty, and having fun. Without taking risks, they don’t learn the limitations of their bodies and may be more prone to accidents later, nor will they develop their courage muscles.

Courage is an essential quality because we don’t want our kids to be paralyzed from fear and unable to live life to its fullest.

With that in mind, here are three things that you must let your children do no matter how much it makes you panic:

1) Climb a Tree

Children have a natural sense of what they can do and what they can't do. Serious accidents are uncommon, but in the helicopter parenting world, parents are afraid (moms especially) to let their children do things because they "might" get hurt.

Let them get hurt! A few bumps and scrapes won't kill them. They even survive broken bones.

We grew up in Northern California amongst the redwood trees, the most towering trees in the world. We would climb trees until we got tired of climbing or too scared to climb any higher, which was usually about 30 feet off the ground (an educated guess looking back many years!).

Yes, it was scary, but it was also a thrill.

The woods were my Ritalin. Nature calmed me, focused me, and yet excited my senses.
— Richard Louv

We felt like conquerors; not of land, but of our fear. We felt a sense of accomplishment to have climbed so high, and it gave us a sense of confidence, excitement, and adventure.

Not everyone has such tall trees available to them, but I have since witnessed mothers who were afraid to let their four-year-old climb a thick tree branch that was two feet off the ground.

When we say things like, "Stop, that's too dangerous!" we interfere with our child’s developmental process and experience of living with joy.

Once I saw a child, with a pure look of excitement in her eyes, attempt to do something daring only to have her parent tell her to stop.

I literally watched the light of her excitement as it got snuffed.

If something is too dangerous–as in serious injury or death could result–you probably want to intervene, but beyond that let children do what children do best.

2) Make Mud Pies

Children love to play in the mud. They don't think in constructs of clean or dirty, but only of fun, exciting, and entertaining. And playing in the mud is nothing if it isn’t fun, exciting, and entertaining.

So, indulge them.

Time in nature is not leisure time; it’s an essential investment in our chidlren’s health (and also, by the way, in our own).
— Richard Louv

When my children were young, we had a backyard with a large section of dirt in it. They spent hours there covering themselves in mud to their heart's content. Mud was matted in their hair, dripping from their ears, and embedded in their clothes by the time they were finished.

They made mud pies and had make-believe meals, they examined the mud as they closed their fists around it and watched it squish through their fingers, and they had lots of mud fights.

Yes, I had a huge mess to clean up, but it was always more amusing to me than anything else.

Mud is a perfect medium for developing your children’s senses, imagination, and motor skills. it's a great natural resource that will keep them occupied for hours.

Untitled design (4).png

Eat Mud

I know this might be over the top for many of you, but unless you live in an area where they spray pesticides or you live in a high traffic zone, then let your children eat mud. They won't eat much, but they do like to taste it.

I remember eating mud when I was young. It tasted like clay, but I don't think I did more than just taste it. The point is that there was no one hovering over me telling me to stop.

And if an adult had been nearby, they wouldn’t have been worried about it either. Tasting mud was a part of childhood - all children try it at some point. Who doesn't want to know what a little bit of mud tastes like?

Nature is often overlooked as a healing balm for the emotional hardships in a child’s life.
— Richard Louv

According to modern science, immersing themselves in mud boosters their immune systems. We even have an International Mud Day on June 29th now. This holiday must be in retaliation for the hyper-sterile environment that children in the post-modern world are raised in.

According to the "Hygiene Hypothesis," the sterile environment is putting children at risk for allergies, asthma, and autoimmune diseases as they get older.

Their reasoning is that the immune system develops by exposure to bacteria, viruses, and parasites, and in the modernly-sterile environment children's immune systems are not being exposed to them enough, and therefore, they’re immune systems aren't as strong as they should be.

It’s a theory, and not one I personally subscribe to, but it’s important to understand that exposure to germs strengthens our immunity. Ironically, as much as we try to prevent childhood diseases, many of these diseases are safer to contract as children than as an adult.

3) Rolling Down Hills

In my childhood, we used to climb to the top of a hill and then see who could roll down the fastest. What fun we had.

Do children still roll down hills today?!

I sympathize with any parent who does not want their child to ruin his clothes, especially if you are on a tight budget. And that’s why kids need clothes they can get dirty in.

While it's fine to have an outfit or two for when the occasion calls, the day-to-day dress of a child should not be designer clothes but rough and tumble clothes.

And one last thing, remember that a few bumps, and bruises never killed anyone. Children take pride in their bumps and bruises especially the ones that require some cleaning and bandaging.

They're a sign of the battles fought on the playground of life.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

3 Questions to Answer Before You Begin to Homeschool

Many parents are choosing to homeschool today because of the inappropriate content being taught in public schools. They are also frustrated with the substandard education children have been receiving for too long. 

However, while it’s critical to keep your children out of an institution notorious for the poor character and education standards it maintains, there are a few questions to ask yourself before you begin to homeschool.

  1. Know Your Why

If we don’t fully understand why we are doing something, our chances of following through in the most effective way are compromised. 

For example,  if you tell someone not to eat extra protein while he is trying to build muscle but you don't explain why, he'll be less likely to follow through. He also needs to know what foods contain the highest amounts of protein, so he can reach his goal. 

Home education is no different. 

You want to know why public school has failed as well as what kind of an education model does work. If you can answer the question to both of these accurately, then you will be 100% committed and able to give your child a stellar education at home. 

John Taylor Gatto’s best selling book, Dumbing Us Down, is the best place to begin. It will expose the fundamental problems with school making an alternative option the obvious solution.

My Why

My biggest "why" for homeschooling was that I wanted my children to have integrity, and I recognized that this was something we lost in a system that teaches us conformity. After integrity, I wanted my kids to develop their minds to the fullest. 

I knew enough of the history behind public school to be 100% determined to homeschool, rain or shine. Nothing would have induced me to put my kids into a system that I knew would fail them, as it had failed me. 

If we don’t have a firm commitment to homeschooling, it’s very easy to fall back on public or even private schools during difficult times. 

While fear is the best motivator, fear is not the best reason to homeschool. We want to resist falling prey to a fearful mindset and adopt a proactive mindset moving forward. 

We want to become someone who is determined to give their child a better education at home no matter what difficulties we might encounter.

Which begs the question, what kind of an education is the best?

2. What Education Model Should You Choose?

You will come across a lot of different homeschooling models, and it will be difficult to know which is best. Unfortunately, we now face the problem of too many blind leading the blind in the homeschooling community, so deciding who to take advice from may be a challenge.

But since you're here, I’m going to encourage you to follow a traditional approach to education because we know it works. Our safest bet is to choose that which is know to train the mind most effectively and this leads us directly to the classics.

In America, the liberal arts education, which is often referred to as a classical education, is what our children were taught when our literacy rates peaked during the 19th century. 

Today, we have reached such a low point in our academic history with 54% of Americans reading above a fifth grade level. An educated guess is that a fifth grade level today was probably the equivalent of a second grade level in 1900. 

For example, a third grade test in the 19th Century included questions, such as: 

  1. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.

  2. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.

  3. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.

  4. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, super.

  5. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.

The Classics

The classics have produced some of the greatest minds in Western history including Cicero, who was considered one of Rome’s greatest rhetoricians; and Thomas  Aquinas, who debated with the Catholic Church for ten years, finally convincing it that the study of Aristotelean logic was not a threat to the religion.

A room without books is like a body without a soul.
— Cicero

Let’s not forget the words of Martin Luther King, who said that we should judge a man by the content of his character, not the color of his skin. 

If you are going to put your time and energy into homeschooling, why not give your children the best possible training of the mind?

If you are worried that your own mind is not well-trained, don't be. You will learn alongside your children and do the best job you can. If you dedicate yourself to the task, you are capable of giving your children anr education superior to that of any public school and most private schools. 

Seneca the Younger said that “By teaching, we learn.” This is the attitude to adopt when you reach for the homeschooling stars!

3. How Do I Help My Child Develop Good Character?

Raising a child with good character has always been considered the most important component of raising a child. “Education" goes under the rubric of “raising a child,” it does not stand above it. 

You will find a lot of workbooks with exercises regarding character, or you will be advised to teach your children about their “feelings,” or you will come across books that teach lessons about good character, but this is not the way to raise a child up in the ways of good character.

Developing good character requires action, the right sort of action. Reading moral stories will supplement what children are learning in real life, but they cannot replace the action required to develop good character.

The truth is that most of us aren't taught how character develops anymore, so we can be confused on this point, yet it is the most fundamental aspect of raising a child.

The Ancients taught that a life well-lived was a moral life, and modern research has proven this is true, which is one of the reasons I don’t wait for the research. We spend billions of dollars trying to understand how to live well, when all we need is to go back to the classics. 

Do you think after so many thousands of years, we have not yet figured these things out! 

Homeschooling Is a Job

Homeschooling is not a job we take lightly. It is the education of our children. While I know any committed and willing parent can do a better job teaching their child at home, the tide in the homeschooling community is shifting.  

A friend of mine, who worked in a co-op  school, told me that the "homeschooled" kids they have been accepting lately we're all behind.

I attribute this to parents not taking the time to understand the very things I just pointed out as well as not adopting a proactive mindset towards homeschooling.

Too many of us keep our kids out of school for fear of negative influences without understanding the deeper problems with modern education; too many of us are using government and virtual programs without realizing that we're turning to the beast for help, and too many of us have no idea how to intentionally raise a child with good character.

We don't have to be an expert in each subject we teach, but we have to understand why we are homeschooling; what constitutes a good education, how character develops, and how to provide these things for our children.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

3 Ways Homeschooled Kids Get Behind

An idea that gets thrown around in the homeschooling community is that wherever your kids are is "exactly where they are meant to be". 

However, unless we are speaking philosophically about the nature of being, it isn't exactly true.

It's a useful concept to remember in moments when, for example, we just missed a plane to China, lost a lot of money in the stock market, or our two-year old destroyed our living room, but not when it comes to our children's education.

When it comes to our children's education, we need to be on top of our game, so we can help them get the most out of their prime learning years. 

Optimal Learning Windows

Children have windows of optimal learning, and when we miss these windows, we fail to optimize our child's learning potential.

For example, grammar is not a subject that we should teach a child who is 5 or 6, but if a child does not know his 8 parts of speech by the time he's 9 or 10, well, in my book, that's a little behind.

If your child is 10 years old and can't read, that's a little behind. 

This idea that we are "never behind" is empty rhetoric, and we should reject it. 

We can get our kids behind what they are capable of learning when we are not diligent homeschoolers. 

Here are 3 ways we hinder our children from reaching their full learning potential:

1. Using substandard Programs

If we are doing public-school-at-home or using a virtual, state-approved homeschool program, our children are not going to get the same quality of education they might get if we followed a more serious education model.

Why go to all the trouble of homeschooling and then teach our kids exactly what the state is teaching in school?

2. Failing to Plan

I'm not a natural planner, but I have learned over the years that having a solid plan in place increases our chances of reaching our goals, including our homeschooling goals. 

While planning is an essential part of reaching goals, the way we get there never precisely matches the way we planned to get there, but we still need to do our planning. If not, we could end up anywhere.

Aren't you more focused when you have a deadline to meet? What about when you have limited time to complete something? Think about how quickly you clean your house after hearing that an unexpected guest is coming!

A plan allows us to put the structure in place and create deadlines, so we have a greater chance of reaching our goals. If I only have from 9 - 1 to work with my kids, I’m going to stay a lot more focused than when I have no start or ending time.

Action without planning is the cause of all failure. Action with planning is the cause of all success.
— Brian Tracy

When we don't add structure our homeschooling days any little thing that comes up can distract us. And each distraction is one more thing that gets in the way of our kids moving ahead. 

3. A Misguided Attitude

I am guilty of calling homeschooling a lifestyle as much as the next person, but is it? A lifestyle is the style in which we live in the same way that we have a style in which we dress. Some people dress in expensive designer clothes, and others dress in second-hand clothes. Some people dress casually; others dress formally.

So yes, we have different homeschooling lifestyles, but regardless, we want to remember that first and foremost, homeschooling is a job.

While we aren’t heading off to the local school every morning as an employed teach might, we have chosen the path of being a self-employed teacher to our children.

You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.
— C. S. Lewis

Of course, things will happen and throw us off schedule, but they should be the exception, not the norm.

Also, the "behind" we refer to is in relation to the public school objectives. But we want our goals for our kids to be higher; we want to help them maximize their best learning and work hard to give them the education they deserve.

Conclusion

When all is said and done, as long as you are using a sound curriculum, you understand what kids need to learn and how to teach them, your kids are listening to you and doing their work, and you are doing your very best, your kids will probably be ahead—not behind—and exactly where they should be!

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

The Productive Mother's Homeschooling Routine

The Productive Mother's Homeschooling Routine

We know the hours can easily disappear when we don't have a schedule in place for our day, especially when homeschooling.

Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution; this gives you a 1,000 percent Return on Energy!
— Brian Tracy, author of Eat that Frog!

To reach your new homeschool year’s goals, you want to set your days up for success.

Otherwise, you’ll feel overwhelmed and exhausted scrambling to get everything done after you’ve run out of time. In other words, you won’t get it done.

It happened to me, and it’ll happen to you too if you don’t watch out!

One way to be more productive during the day is to create a morning routine.

HOW TO PLAN YOUR MORNING

Planning your morning is a matter of working backwards, starting with the night before. You have to decide what time you will go to sleep, so you get enough sleep to wake up at the optimal time to perform your morning routine.

As a mother of two, the morning hours were important to me as they are probably important to you. Waking up an hour or so before your children will give you a less harried start on the day.

To create your morning routine, you have to first decide what are the important things you want to do as a part of your routine.

Whatever you decide, write your schedule down on paper so you can see it in front of you. Pin it to the wall or wherever you want to put it to remind yourself of each step. You want to follow a certain order too, so your routine becomes a habit you don’t have to think about.

After coffee, you read for 30 minutes; after reading, you go for a 30-minute walk and so forth.

The things you write down will be your morning ritual. It’s sounds so simple, but it will have a huge impact on how much you get done. Planning a routine is also a proactive strategy which will serve to keep your stress levels down as well.

But it doesn’t stop there, not when you have kids!

THE OFFSPRING RITUAL

You want to follow your morning ritual with what I call the Offspring ritual.

Teach your children to get into the habit of getting up at a certain hour each day and performing their morning ritual. Maybe they start their day by brushing their teeth and then chatting with you for 10 or 15 minutes to reconnect after a good night’s sleep.

After a good chat, they run off to get dressed, put their dirty clothes in the hamper, make their beds, and come in for breakfast at a designated time.

(Eating on a schedule is much better for your children’s health than eating at random meal times.)

Depending on how you set things up, you can prepare breakfast while they are getting ready or you can enjoy another cup of coffee and wait for them to help you prepare it.

After a relaxed breakfast, the children clean up while you get ready to teach And that’s why we also need a homeschool ritual.

After you finish eating breakfast with your children, you will head to your homeschool room and examine your plan for the day and prepare to teach your children.

Once your mind is in gear for teaching, you can ring your school bell!

THE HOMESCHOOLING RITUAL

A general rule is to teach your most essential subjects first, the ones that if there were an interruption to your day, you could still relax knowing you'd gotten those finished.

Language arts and math for the morning hours work well.

Give your children 2-minute breaks when they begin to get restless, so they can stretch, run around the block, or jump on a trampoline. Getting a good dose of oxygen into their brains will replenish their thinking energy.

You want to schedule a long lunchtime break when they can eat and then go outside and play for a while.

Let the morning hours be the more intense hours of study, and in the afternoon you can take it easy. Read some history, do a science experiment, or read a story out loud. Some days you may have outings planned with other homeschoolers.

Always make sure you children have enough some time to read or pursue their hobbies; practice an instrument, do some artwork, or play a sport.

On the days when you stay home, try to finish homeschooling around the same time each day, so everyone has leisure time before dinner including, and most importantly, yourself!

Final Reminders

If you create a schedule and adhere to it, you will prevent your day from slipping right past you. Otherwise you’ll find that too many times the afternoon has rolled around, and you have barely made it past grammar.

Excellence / Perfection is not a destination; it is a continuous journey that never ends.
— Brian Tracy

The key to your success with keeping a routine is to keep in mind that we are not perfect beings and some days we will falter in our plan. We don’t tell ourselves we are hopeless at sticking to a plan, as this will reinforce that behavior.

Instead we get up the next day with a new intention, and we start all over again. Eventually, we will get better and discover the freedom and ease that comes with keeping to a plan not to mention more productive homeschooling days!

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Raising Stellar Kids Begins With Our Habits!

We impact our children’s character development every single day through our own behavior.

Yet, we don’t stop often enough to reflect upon the messages we send our children through our words and actions — even the expressions on our face.

For example, a common habit which we all have today is spending time on our phones around our children.

The typical scenario looks like this: We’re texting a friend or maybe we’re surfing the web when the child asks for something. We reply by telling him to wait as we continue looking at our screen.

The child begins to whine, and we mumble to him that we’ll be there in a second. But we’re not there in a second.

The message a child gets is that the phone is more important than he is.

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

— Phyllis Diller

Those two minutes we intend to spend on the phone can add up to hours in a day, and the hours in a day, over time, can add up to weeks and so on and so on.

To put things in perspective, in 2023, the average person will spend 3.15 hours on their phone every day; 12.6 hours per week; 50.4 hours per month; 604.8 hours per year.

You can see what a strong message we give our kids when we take a “quick” glance at our phones.

In addition, our kids will probably grow up to repeat the same pattern with their children. Don’t you find yourself repeating patterns that were once your parents?

I’m not suggesting we should cater to our child’s every whim, only that we should be diligent in the way we show up for our kids.

We can replace the smartphone with any bad habit, such as, eating junk food or eating too much; not exercising, using bad language, not keeping our word, gossiping, telling too many “white” lies, or working too much.

Our bad habits become examples for our children, so if we want to raise our kids well, we have to start by working on ourselves.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ”

— Aristotle

Raising kids above the fold takes a combination of factors and one of these factors is our own habits.

We need to reflect on our habits because it’s easy to go through life oblivious to things that seem inconsequential at the moment, but with time they become lessons we teach our children, for better or for worse.

Let’s take inventory of our habits; the things we think, say, and do — are they messages that will serve us and serve our children well over time?

If not, let’s work to replace those bad habits with good habits.

Start with one bad habit, conquer it, and then choose another. To try and tackle many bad habits at once would be to invite defeat. One step at a time in replacing the bad with the good while we adopt better habits for ourselves.

Be specific with ourselves about precisely what bad habit we are replacing with what good habit, so every time we find ourselves falling back into the bad one, we can quickly self-correct by replacing it with the good habit.

It’s not until our children are older and have developed their own habits, values, and beliefs that we come face-to-face with our own shortcomings.

We’ll naturally become more effective parents if we become aware of the little things we do that add up to the big lessons we teach.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

What Key Trait Do Independent Thinkers Possess?

Screen Shot 2018-07-05 at 4.01.49 PM.png

It's easy to adorn oneself according to the latest fad, but it’s not so easy to stand in one’s truth when it goes against mob rule.

Learning to think and act independently requires courage: the courage to do what's right and just even in the face of ridicule, the loss of friends, or a loss of income.

John Taylor Gatto was an excellent example. He quit teaching when he was in his 60s, because he discovered that schools were causing more harm to children than good.

As a public schoolteacher, he believed that he was a part of the problem.

John sent an op-ed to the Wall Street Journal and announced his decision to quit teaching in schools. When you are a couple of years away from retirement and a pension plan, it takes a lot of courage to walk away.

Character is higher than intellect.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sporting purple hair and nose rings is not a sign of an independent character. People who dye their hair crazy colors and fill their bodies with tattoos and rings are following a group-think fad in spite of their belief to the contrary.

We should teach our children to dress well and to conform to outward standards of propriety but to be nonconforming in their attitudes, beliefs and values.

Because the greater independence of the mind is not manifest outwardly; it's an inward state.

To raise our children to be independent in mind, we need to foster courage in their characters.

People often mistake courage for the absence of fear, but the absence of fear can lead to rashness. Courage is not an absence of fear, but the ability to act in spite of one’s fear.

For example, my children performed at piano recitals, recited poetry to small audiences, and attended public speaking classes. Through these kind of activities, they learned to develop their courage muscle.

Permitting your child to run into a local grocery store alone, to climb a tree, or to ride a bike for the first time are all activities that will strengthen his courage.

Every day there will be opportunities to let our children strengthen their courage.

As we know from Aristotle, and as we can observe in our own lives,  our daily habits add up to the quality of our characters.

Children like to challenge themselves, and we need to encourage them to do so. The more they learn to face challenges in spite of the difficulty or discomfort, the more courage they develop.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
— Mark Twain

Having courage will also help to preserve their moral integrity, because having moral integrity requires us to stand in our truth both privately and in public.

Someone once told me that I needed to develop a “public” persona. In other words, I should have two selves; one for the public and one for my private life.

But I believe the goal is to have one self.

As Shakespeare said in Hamlet:

This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

4 Strategies to Raise Low-Tech Kids Who Excel Academically and Socially

We are now raising kids in a cultural environment that is not conducive to developing good social skills or well-trained minds.

Your biggest obstacle to raising solid kids today is technology. You will first need to understand just a little about how technology affects the growing brain, and then I’ll share my 3 strategies for raising kids who excel socially and academically.

Your Child’s Precious Brain Cells

Did you know your child is born with about 100 billion brain cells and that these cells make trillions of connections with one another during his first three years of life?

And did you know that those very connections form the foundation of his intelligence?

Yet, because of the overuse of technology, too many children are not receiving adequate stimulation during the pre-adolescent years which inhibits the formation of new neural pathways.

On top of that, if they don’t sufficiently use the pathways they have formed; the unused pathways will be sloughed off at adolescence.

Technology: ‘the knack of so arranging the world that we don’t have to experience it.
— Max Frisch, c.1960s

Simply put, despite the generous pediatric recommendations, if your child is in the habit of using technology, chances are there may be some delays and possible disruption to his developmental processes. 

I am going to be blunt with you: if your child is using technology, he may not become as intelligent as a child who has a tech-free childhood. It is the obvious conclusion when you understand how technology affects the growing brain. 

What Can A Parent Do?

With our children being targeted by educational software companies, and with the gaming industry's enormously powerful lobby, navigating a world with less technology does require some effort. 

It is possible and you can do it, however, you must be intentional if you want to raise an intelligent, ethical, critically-thinking child.

There are 4 things you can do which will protect your child mind, and by default, make your life easier. .

Strategy #1: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

The first action you can take is to remember that your children will not ask for technology if they don't see you using it or see it in the home.

Therefore, out of sight, out of mind

Host your television and computer in your bedroom and / or office, and, for the most part, keep yourself unplugged during the time that you spend with your children. 

As far as your home is concerned, it's really that simple.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
— Groucho Marx

Strategy #2: Going Against the Grain

When you visit friends, don't be shy to let them know that you are raising your children in a low-tech zone and that you prefer your children play with their kids rather than plugin together. 

After all, that’s why you brought them over—to play together.

When it comes to our children's well-being, we have to stand up for what is best for them, even if we get slack from others.

We have to remind ourselves that our child’s well-being is more important to us than what others think about our choices.

Fortunately, most intelligent and reasonable parents will respect your request. (If they don't, you may want to question the value of their friendship.)

Strategy #3: The Forbidden Apple Syndrome

Here is the crux of the matter, though: You absolutely must find like-minded family and friends to raise your children with.

You cannot be the only parent to say "no" to technology; otherwise, technology is exactly what your child will seek out the minute he leaves home. We call it the Forbidden Apple syndrome.

If you don’t find like-minded friends, your children will see you as the odd parent who doesn’t like technology.

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.
— Frank Lloyd Wright

Underneath this new attitude towards you will be one of disrespect. It's the curse of raising kids in the West where mainstream practices are not often what’s best for our children.

What if you can’t find like-minded friends? The sad answer is that you will probably have to compromise a little to avoid the Forbidden Apple syndrome.

#4 Homeschool Your Kids

When you homeschool your children, it is much easier to keep them off screens. As a homeschooler, you will hopefully raise strong readers, and strong readers excel academically.

Instead of giving your kids screens, you will give them real books.

Your child will develop better social skills by being homeschooled, too. He will not be exposed to the negative social environment so prevalent in schools today. Instead, you will raise him to have good manners and teach him how to get along with other people.

Good social skills are much easier to develop if a child is being homeschooled. It has been studied and proven to be true.

Therefore, keep your kids off of screens!

It must follow, as the night, the day,* they will do better academically and socially.


A line from Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

The Secret to Raising Grateful Children

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T215459.252.png

"No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough!" is a typical complaint from your average 21st-century parent.

While parents are understandably frustrated, they're little ones are growing up to become entitled adults.

Common strategies employed to battle the empidemic of ingratitude are not working either. The Sermon is a perfect example of a strategy that has failed us.

THE SERMON

We lecture our kids to be grateful for what they have, and our lectures fall on deaf ears. They have no idea what we are talking about. For the most part, they always had what they need and gotten what they wanted.

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T220501.350.png

And even if they hadn’t, poor character traits are not conquered by lecturing and “ingratitude” is a poor character trait.

Better not to let the trait develop in the first place!

“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”

— Marcus Aurelius

THE SECRET

The secret, therefore, to teaching your children to appreciate the things you provide for them is to raise them to be minimalists. The less they have, the more appreciative they'll be when you give them more.

Untitled design - 2021-03-10T221106.177.png

The less often you indulge them with their wants, the less they'll come to expect them. When you do give your children a want, they'll be grateful, and they won't forget to say thank you.

The words of true gratitude will come roaring out of them, no prodding needed.

A minimalist philosophy isn't restricted to material goods either. You can apply it to all aspects of your children’s lives by saying “no” to them more than you say “yes.”

John Rosemond calls it Vitamin N. It's not that you want to become a contrarian and rigidly oppose everything your children ask for, but raise them to understand that their wants are not your primary concern.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Provide your children with the things they need for emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual growth, but raise them to understand that the goal of your life is not to make them happy but to raise them well.

This isn't to say that you never accommodate a want of theirs, but don't make it a habit to indulge them too much.

What’s the rule?!

It’s simple: say no 75% of the time and say yes 25% of the time. If you practice this ratio of yes to no’s, you’ll see the gratitude scale climb steadily in your home.

A golden parenting rule to remember is that you aren't responsible for making your children happy; that’s up to them to figure out.

And they’ll discover the secret to happiness much faster if you indulge them less.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

5 Reasons Why Leisure Time Matters More than Extra-Curricular Activities

Untitled design (27).png

We over schedule our children and fail to recognize the inherent harm in making extra-curricular activities a priority in our family's life.

Let's look at the consequences of hyper-scheduling our kids.

  1. Stress levels increase for everyone

  2. No one has time to discover the simple pleasures of life

  3. Family time is compromised

  4. Too Many Missed Family Meals 

  5. Exhaustion

Yet, our minds and our bodies crave and need downtime to relax and experience life at a slower pace. Our children's needs aren't any different.

Why Leisure Time Matters More

Untitled design (28).png

Hobbies

Children need leisure time to learn how to entertain themselves with hobbies like needlepoint, knitting, collecting stamps, or building model airplanes. Maybe they want to explore the outdoors or build something from scratch. Hobbies give us something to look forward to no matter how young or how old we are. During rough patches in life, our hobbies will keep us moving forward.

Social Skills

Leisure time also allows children to go outdoors and play with the neighborhood kids or visit a friend, both of which are crucial to developing good social skills. 

Time is a game played beautifully by children.
— Heraclitus

Read a Book

And sometimes, like us, a child just wants to lie down and read a book. There are a lot of reasons why children don't read today, but one of them may be that they don’t have enough leisure time to develop the habit of reading.

Family Time

When each child has multiple extra-curricular activities, there's little time for shared activities as a family. 

Your family time begins to revolve around extra-curricular activities; in other words, family life becomes less o a priority than extra-curricular activities.

Exhaustion

Some children need more downtime than others. The over-scheduling of their day can result in fatigue and a loss of enthusiasm. The underlying stress of having too much to do can make them irritable and unpleasant to be around.

We all know what it feels like to be exhausted!

Too Many Missed Family Meals

Often the extra-curricular activities take place in the evenings leaving no one home to cook or serve a family meal. Consequently, the family eats with dad while you rush Tommy to soccer practice. 

We know the importance of family meals for children. The more family meals you share, the fewer problems your kids will have. Children need to feel emotionally connected to their family, and meal times is one of the critical ways in which they can connect.

According to research, having family meals at least 4 times a week lowers the risk of obesity, substance abuse, eating disorders, and an increased chance of graduating from high school.

Putting It into Perspective

Untitled design (29).png

What's more important at the end of the day?

When your children are grown will it be more important that your kids were in a lot of activities or that your family has a strong bond which keeps you together whether your kids live near you or not.

Instead of over-scheduling your children, in addition to their homeschooling subjects, which would include sports, let them take one class in something they enjoy doing. But don’t let their classes interfere with meal times or weekend activities.

And make sure your children have enough leisure time to figure out where their interests lie and what they're good at. 

If you are losing your leisure, look out! — It may be you are losing your soul.
— Virginia Woolf

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.