4 Strategies to Raise Low-Tech Kids Who Excel Academically and Socially→

We are now raising kids in a cultural environment that is not conducive to developing good social skills or well-trained minds.

Your biggest obstacle to raising solid kids today is technology. You will first need to understand just a little about how technology affects the growing brain, and then I’ll share my 3 strategies for raising kids who excel socially and academically.

Your Child’s Precious Brain Cells

Did you know your child is born with about 100 billion brain cells and that these cells make trillions of connections with one another during his first three years of life?

And did you know that those very connections form the foundation of his intelligence?

Yet, because of the overuse of technology, too many children are not receiving adequate stimulation during the pre-adolescent years which inhibits the formation of new neural pathways.

On top of that, if they don’t sufficiently use the pathways they have formed; the unused pathways will be sloughed off at adolescence.

“Technology: ‘the knack of so arranging the world that we don’t have to experience it.”

— Max Frisch, c.1960s

Simply put, despite the generous pediatric recommendations, if your child is in the habit of using technology, chances are there may be some delays and possible disruption to his developmental processes. 

I am going to be blunt with you: if your child is using technology, he may not become as intelligent as a child who has a tech-free childhood. It is the obvious conclusion when you understand how technology affects the growing brain. 

What Can A Parent Do?

With our children being targeted by educational software companies, and with the gaming industry's enormously powerful lobby, navigating a world with less technology does require some effort. 

It is possible and you can do it, however, you must be intentional if you want to raise an intelligent, ethical, critically-thinking child.

There are 4 things you can do which will protect your child mind, and by default, make your life easier. .

Strategy #1: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

The first action you can take is to remember that your children will not ask for technology if they don't see you using it or see it in the home.

Therefore, out of sight, out of mind. 

Host your television and computer in your bedroom and / or office, and, for the most part, keep yourself unplugged during the time that you spend with your children. 

As far as your home is concerned, it's really that simple.

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

— Groucho Marx

Strategy #2: Going Against the Grain

When you visit friends, don't be shy to let them know that you are raising your children in a low-tech zone and that you prefer your children play with their kids rather than plugin together. 

After all, that’s why you brought them over—to play together.

When it comes to our children's well-being, we have to stand up for what is best for them, even if we get slack from others.

We have to remind ourselves that our child’s well-being is more important to us than what others think about our choices.

Fortunately, most intelligent and reasonable parents will respect your request. (If they don't, you may want to question the value of their friendship.)

Strategy #3: The Forbidden Apple Syndrome

Here is the crux of the matter, though: You absolutely must find like-minded family and friends to raise your children with.

You cannot be the only parent to say "no" to technology; otherwise, technology is exactly what your child will seek out the minute he leaves home. We call it the Forbidden Apple syndrome.

If you don’t find like-minded friends, your children will see you as the odd parent who doesn’t like technology.

“If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.”

— Frank Lloyd Wright

Underneath this new attitude towards you will be one of disrespect. It's the curse of raising kids in the West where mainstream practices are not often what’s best for our children.

What if you can’t find like-minded friends? The sad answer is that you will probably have to compromise a little to avoid the Forbidden Apple syndrome.

#4 Homeschool Your Kids

When you homeschool your children, it is much easier to keep them off screens. As a homeschooler, you will hopefully raise strong readers, and strong readers excel academically.

Instead of giving your kids screens, you will give them real books.

Your child will develop better social skills by being homeschooled, too. He will not be exposed to the negative social environment so prevalent in schools today. Instead, you will raise him to have good manners and teach him how to get along with other people.

Good social skills are much easier to develop if a child is being homeschooled. It has been studied and proven to be true.

Therefore, keep your kids off of screens!

It must follow, as the night, the day,* they will do better academically and socially.

---

A line from Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

The Secret to Raising Grateful Children→

"No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough!" is a typical complaint from your average 21st-century parent.

While parents are understandably frustrated, they're little ones are growing up to become entitled adults.

Common strategies employed to battle the empidemic of ingratitude are not working either. The Sermon is a perfect example of a strategy that has failed us.

THE SERMON

We lecture our kids to be grateful for what they have, and our lectures fall on deaf ears. They have no idea what we are talking about. For the most part, they always had what they need and gotten what they wanted.

And even if they hadn’t, poor character traits are not conquered by lecturing and “ingratitude” is a poor character trait.

Better not to let the trait develop in the first place!

“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”

— Marcus Aurelius

THE SECRET

The secret, therefore, to teaching your children to appreciate the things you provide for them is to raise them to be minimalists. The less they have, the more appreciative they'll be when you give them more.

The less often you indulge them with their wants, the less they'll come to expect them. When you do give your children a want, they'll be grateful, and they won't forget to say thank you.

The words of true gratitude will come roaring out of them, no prodding needed.

A minimalist philosophy isn't restricted to material goods either. You can apply it to all aspects of your children’s lives by saying “no” to them more than you say “yes.”

John Rosemond calls it Vitamin N. It's not that you want to become a contrarian and rigidly oppose everything your children ask for, but raise them to understand that their wants are not your primary concern.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Provide your children with the things they need for emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual growth, but raise them to understand that the goal of your life is not to make them happy but to raise them well.

This isn't to say that you never accommodate a want of theirs, but don't make it a habit to indulge them too much.

What’s the rule?!

It’s simple: say no 75% of the time and say yes 25% of the time. If you practice this ratio of yes to no’s, you’ll see the gratitude scale climb steadily in your home.

A golden parenting rule to remember is that you aren't responsible for making your children happy; that’s up to them to figure out.

And they’ll discover the secret to happiness much faster if you indulge them less.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

5 Reasons Why Leisure Time Matters More than Extra-Curricular Activities

We over schedule our children and fail to recognize the inherent harm in making extra-curricular activities a priority in our family's life.

Let's look at the consequences of hyper-scheduling our kids.

1. Stress levels increase for everyone

2. No one has time to discover the simple pleasures of life

3. Family time is compromised

4. Too Many Missed Family Meals 

5. Exhaustion

Yet, our minds and our bodies crave and need downtime to relax and experience life at a slower pace. Our children's needs aren't any different.

Why Leisure Time Matters More

Hobbies

Children need leisure time to learn how to entertain themselves with hobbies like needlepoint, knitting, collecting stamps, or building model airplanes. Maybe they want to explore the outdoors or build something from scratch. Hobbies give us something to look forward to no matter how young or how old we are. During rough patches in life, our hobbies will keep us moving forward.

Social Skills

Leisure time also allows children to go outdoors and play with the neighborhood kids or visit a friend, both of which are crucial to developing good social skills. 

“Time is a game played beautifully by children.”

— Heraclitus

Read a Book

And sometimes, like us, a child just wants to lie down and read a book. There are a lot of reasons why children don't read today, but one of them may be that they don’t have enough leisure time to develop the habit of reading.

Family Time

When each child has multiple extra-curricular activities, there's little time for shared activities as a family. 

Your family time begins to revolve around extra-curricular activities; in other words, family life becomes less o a priority than extra-curricular activities.

Exhaustion

Some children need more downtime than others. The over-scheduling of their day can result in fatigue and a loss of enthusiasm. The underlying stress of having too much to do can make them irritable and unpleasant to be around.

We all know what it feels like to be exhausted!

Too Many Missed Family Meals

Often the extra-curricular activities take place in the evenings leaving no one home to cook or serve a family meal. Consequently, the family eats with dad while you rush Tommy to soccer practice. 

We know the importance of family meals for children. The more family meals you share, the fewer problems your kids will have. Children need to feel emotionally connected to their family, and meal times is one of the critical ways in which they can connect.

According to research, having family meals at least 4 times a week lowers the risk of obesity, substance abuse, eating disorders, and an increased chance of graduating from high school.

Putting It into Perspective

What's more important at the end of the day?

When your children are grown will it be more important that your kids were in a lot of activities or that your family has a strong bond which keeps you together whether your kids live near you or not.

Instead of over-scheduling your children, in addition to their homeschooling subjects, which would include sports, let them take one class in something they enjoy doing. But don’t let their classes interfere with meal times or weekend activities.

And make sure your children have enough leisure time to figure out where their interests lie and what they're good at. 

“If you are losing your leisure, look out! — It may be you are losing your soul.”

— Virginia Woolf

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

5 Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Curiosity→

A friend showed me a clip of her nine-month-old baby.

I looked into the baby's eyes as I watched the video. The intense alertness that I witnessed, the acute observation of each facial move she saw in her mother's face, was fascinating.

The baby wanted to know how to make the same expressions her mother was making.

It's the intense desire to know that all healthy children possess, yet what happens to their curiosity as they grow a little older?

Why do so many children forsake that infinite sense of wonder that’s so innate to each of us? 

“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.”

— L. Frank Baum

One of the reasons for this is because too many children start school at young ages. By the time they reach kindergarten or first grade, the light of curiosity begins to dim.

Think about it. If your child has a small shovel in his hand, but every time he tries to shovel something his teacher tells him to stop, he will eventually stop picking the shovel up.

When a child cannot follow the lead of his curiosity, or is not in an environment where he can exercise his desire to know, he will put his curiosity on the shelf.

Yet, the level of his curiosity is related to his intelligence. The more curious he is, the more he will exercise his mind to discover or learn something. To lose his curiosity would be a tragedy because it means he would never fully develop into all that he can be.

We cannot let this happen! Therefore, if you want to encourage your child’s natural curiosity, whether it has been dimmed or not, here are five things you can do:

1. If you have to put your child into an outside program, look for a daycare or preschool that is play-based and ideally held in the outdoors, such as a Forest School. Make sure they are operated by people who understand what children need at these tender ages.

2. Do not entertain your child! It is not that you don't ever play with your child, but only that you do not become his full-time playmate. Allow him to follow the dictates of his curiosity and figure things out for himself, so he develops his mind. Children are little scientists by nature. In the right environment, they will learn how to entertain themselves. 

3. Be curious yourself. Take your child into the outdoors and explore with him. Let him walk barefoot on fallen leaves and dip his feet into spring water to awaken his senses. Bring his attention to the songs of birds and the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through them. Collect a bug or two and read about them when you get home.

4. Immediately remove all screens from your child's life both inside and outside the home. Under no circumstances should you hand him your cell phone to quiet him because you are busy. Screens are a cause of a dimming curiosity; not only that but they will thwart your child's brain development. 

5. Lastly, if you can, don't put your child into any school programs until he is at least ten years old. Until then, teach him yourself because so many learning problems take root during those early years. The first few grades of elementary school are easy to teach when you know what you are doing. 

Here’s a thought: our ability to excel, to become the best version of ourselves, begins with our desire to know.

“An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”

— Benjamin Franklin

Let’s work to keep our children’s curiosity alive—even if that means teaching them ourselves— so they can become all that they can be.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise brighter and more creative children.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

*****

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA

The Six Purposes of Schooling by John Taylor Gatto→

When people ask me why I homeschooled, I tell them I had no choice. If they knew what I know about public education, they would homeschool too.

John Taylor Gatto was the man who opened my eyes to the nefarious agenda behind institutionalized schooling. What follows is a transcription of the key section from John’s classic speech and opus, The Underground History of American Education.

John was a brilliant and well-researched man. I have read what is below in Ingles’ book myself; it is all true.   

Transcription of John’s Talk

“I have something here.  I have the six purposes of schooling [from the book Principles of Secondary Education by Alexander James Inglis] as laid down in 1917 by the man whom Harvard named their Honor Lecture in Education for. 

So far from being a fringe individual, this guy is the reason the Harvard Honor Lecture in Education is named as it is:  The Inglis Lecture.  I would like to read you the six purposes of schooling.  I moved heaven and earth as it took years to find this book [Principles of Secondary Education]--just like trying to find in past years a copy of the Carol Quigley [book] Tragedy and Hope.  

I learned about Inglis from a twenty year President of Harvard [1933-1953], James Bryant Conant, who was a poison gas specialist in World War I--and was in the very inner circle of the Atomic Bomb Project in World War II--was High Commissioner of Occupied Germany after the War. 

So he [James Bryant Conant] wrote--there must be 20 books about the institution of schooling--of which he was completely a proponent.  And he is a very, very bad writer.  I forced myself to read most of these books, and one of them he says that if you really want to know what school is about, you need to pick up the book that I’m referring to Principles of Secondary Education. 

Two years it took me to find a copy of the book [Principles of Secondary Education by Alexander James Inglis]--750 pages, tiny print and as dull as your imagination can be.  And furthermore, it is not till you get to the very middle of the book--in an unlabelled section--that he spills the beans.  Let me spill them for you.  

 There are six purposes, or functions, as he calls them.  The first he [Alexander Inglis] calls the Adjustive Function: Schools are to establish fixed habits of reaction to authority.  That’s their main purpose--habits and reactions to authority. 

That is why school authorities don’t tear their hair out when somebody exposes that the Atomic Bomb wasn’t dropped on Korea, as a history book in the 1990s printed by Scott Foresman [did], and why each of these books has hundreds of substantive errors.  Learning isn’t the reason the texts are distributed.  

The Adjustive Function

So, first is the Adjustive Function--fixed habits.  Now here comes the wonderful insight that being able to analyze the detail will give you.  How can you establish whether someone has successfully developed this Automatic Reaction because people have a proclivity when they are given sensible orders to follow. 

That is not what they want to teach.  The only way you can measure this is to give stupid orders and people automatically follow those.  Now you have achieved Function #1.  

The Integrating Function

Have you ever ever wondered why some of the foolish things that schools do or allow to continue?  [Function] #2, he [Inglis] calls it the Integrating Function, but it is easier to understand if you call it the Conformity Function. 

It’s to make children alike as possible--the gifted children and the stupid--alike as possible because market research uses statistical sampling, and it only works if people react generally the same way.  

The Directive Function

The Third Function he calls the Directive Function: School is to diagnose your proper social role and then log the evidence that here is where you are on the Great Pyramid, so that future people won’t allow you to escape that compartment.  

The Differentiating Function

 The Fourth Function is the Differentiating Function.  Because once you have diagnosed the kids in this layer, you do not want them to learn anything that the higher layers are learning.  So you teach just as far as the requirement of that layer.  

The Selective Function

 Number five and six are the creepiest of all!  Number 5 is the Selective Function.  What that means is what Darwin meant by natural selection: You are assessing the breeding quality of each individual kid.  You’re doing it structurally because school teachers don’t know this is happening. 

And you’re trying to use ways to prevent the poor stuff from breeding.  And those ways are hanging labels--humiliating labels--around their neck, encouraging the shallowness of thinking.

 I often wondered, because I came from a very very strict Scotish-Irish culture that never allowed you to leer at a girl.  But when I got to NYC, the boys were pawing the girls openly and there was no redress for the girls at all, except not showing up in the classroom--high absentee rates. 

Well, you are supposed to teach structurally that sexual pleasure is what you withdraw from a relationship and everything else is a waste of time and expensive.  

 So, the Selective Function is what Darwin meant by the favored races.  The idea is to consciously improve the breeding stock.  Schools are meant to tag the unfit with their inferiority by poor grades, remedial placement, and humiliation, so that their peers will accept them as inferior.  And the good breeding stock among the females will reject them as possible partners.  

The Propaedeutic Function

 And the Sixth is the creepiest of all! And I think it is partly what Tragedy and Hope is about--a fancy Roman name, the Propaedeutic Function.  Because as early as Roman bigtime thinkers, it was understood that to continue a social form required that some people be trained that they were the custodians of this.  So, some small fraction of the kids are being ready to take over the project. 

That’s the guy--the honor lecturer [Inglis], and it will not surprise you that his ancestors include the major-general of the siege of the Luknow of India--famous for tying the mutineers’ on the muzzle of the cannons and blowing them apart, or somebody who was forced to flee NYC, a churchman at the beginning of the American Revolution, because he wrote a refutation of Thomas Paine’s Common Sense. 

They were going to tar and feather him.  He fled and was rewarded by the British by making him the Bishop of Nova Scotia.  Those are Inglis’ ancestors!  

 So, Al Inglis is certainly--when I learned of this and wrote to Harvard, asking for access to the Inglis Lecture.  Strike me dead, Lord, if I’m exaggerating at all.  I was told “We have no Inglis Lecture--hasn’t been for years, and we have no records. 

It was the same that happened when I discovered that Elwood B. Cubberly, the most influential schoolman of the 20th century and the bionomics genius had been the elementary school editor of Houghton Mifflin, and I wrote Houghton Mifflin--Is there any record? And they said, “We have no record of anyone named Elwood P. Cubberly. 

Now Harvard is telling me, “There is no Inglis Lecture.  A week passed and I got a call from Harvard, from some obscure office at Harvard, saying “What is your interest in the Ingles Lecture?”  I knew that I was on thin ice. 

And I said, “Well, James Conant referred me in his books to the man the Inglis Lecture is named after, and I was just wondering if I could get some background on this fellow, and a list of the lectures.  

 And in due time, I got a list of the lectures and instructions [on] how to access the texts, but not easily. Enough hoops that someone who has to mow the lawn and burp the baby wouldn’t jump through those hoops.  I was able to prove Harper’s [magazine] wouldn’t publish [it in] the cover essay I wrote, which Lew Laflin [?] named Against School, but I had called The Artificial Extension of Childhood because I think that is the key mechanism at work here.  

 So, they wouldn’t print the information about Cubberley because Houghton Mifflin denied it.  It was only months after that I looked through my extensive library of incredibly dull books about schooling, and I opened [one]--and on the facing page said Elwood B. Cubberly, Editor and Chief of Elementary School, publishing arm of Houghton Mifflin. 

By the way, the secondary Editor and Chief was Alexander Ingles.  So you see how this cousinage works.” 

*****

Download your free copy of 10 Surprising Facts About Homeschooled Kids.

*Video transcribed by Roger Copple. To watch the full 12-minute video: The Six Purposes of Schooling [Video]

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise brighter and more creative children.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

*****

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA

Should We Ban Trick-or-Treating?→

I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.

Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.

But now, I stand on the side of those who think we should ban trick-or-treating.

#1 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.

Do you have any idea how much sugar they consume? The average kid consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!

Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.

The gross amount of sugar consumption creates severe sugar spikes in our children's blood levels, leaving them feeling not so well.

Overeating candy comes with the underconsumption of wholesome foods, which only exacerbates the problem.

Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table—wow.

I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate the intention behind this gesture, is it sending our kids the right message?

We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.

How can turning our kids into greedy candy peddlers be a solution? Greed is the #1 problem in the world today, and we are all suffering because of it. We don't want to encourage greediness in our children, do we?

#2 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year, we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.

One shameful moment for me as a kid happened one day on my way home from school. I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day sitting in classrooms.

At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with grumbling stomachs, we had this bright idea.

We could trick-or-treat!

We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?" She gave us some candy anyway.

As an adult looking back, not just on that isolated incident but on the idea of knocking on a stranger's door and asking for candy, isn't this a contradiction?

We teach our kids not to speak to strangers and NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet once a year, it is permissible. We teach them that it's not polite to ask for things, yet once a year, it is permitted.

#3 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

But here's the crux of the matter: Halloween is a creepy holiday; it has gotten even creepier since the corporate world has taken it more seriously.

In my old neighborhood, a neighbor had gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved and looked like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, my kids used to get scared because the scene looked so real.

So did I!

And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor in the town next to us would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror movie. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.

Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.

I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.

For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste. The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly.

My god, that's shameful.

On second thought, we should ban Halloween.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents of school-age children, we guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise more intelligent children of a better character.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA

When Is Online Learning Recommended for Kids?

It is physically, emotionally, and intellectually superior to teach your kids without computers.

Yet, there are times when we can justify online learning for our kids, but these times should be the exception, not the rule.

The Problem with Screen Use

Sitting in front of a computer for long periods during the day is unhealthy, regardless of age. Yet, it is even worse for children because they are still developing the habits which will become their way of life. 

Their brain is also developing and needs exposure to environments that don’t hinder its development. 

We want our children to be physically active, socially competent, and intellectually sharp.

To accomplish these goals, we need to put our children in environments where they learn to enjoy physical activity, engage socially with people of all ages, and develop their minds, including their memory, which is a vital component of intelligence.

IT'S ALL ABOUT HABITS

Yet, a child who develops the habit of sitting in front of a computer for long periods during the day is not getting physical activity, social stimulation, or developing his memory. 

He is developing the habit of using the computer, which requires almost no moment on the user's part. It is an anti-social activity requiring no social skills and virtually no use of our memory.

As one young person said, "Who needs a memory when we have all the information we need at a push of the key?"

“Neurologist and Oxford professor Baroness Susan Greenfield believes that video game addiction can cause a form of what she describes as “dementia” in children.​”

Given that our memories are a part of our brains and that a good memory is always present in highly intelligent people, it would be prudent to develop and protect our memories by using them. 

We don't want to waste our or our children's minds sitting in front of screens tapping keys.

The Social Factor

Another parent noted that "online pupils tend to abandon manners that most would adhere to in the classroom."

One of the concerns, when a family is considering homeschooling, is the social factor. "Will my child develop good social skills?" Yet, we put our kids in front of computers and call that homeschooling without connecting the dots. 

Online learning is not homeschooling; it is anti-social schooling. 

Kids growing up in anti-social environments will most likely become anti-social adults. Online homeschooling, with kids sitting in front of computers for too many hours per day, will produce anti-social kids.

Developing social skills and learning to enjoy other people's company is a result of

1) being taught manners when young, so we don't offend others, and

2) having ample opportunity to practice social skills, so we learn to be comfortable and confident in social situations.

We also learn to enjoy the company of other people, and we discover much about ourselves by interacting with others. 

We are social creatures; living these technology-consuming, anti-social lives is unnatural!

Dumbed-Down Schooling

An in-person teacher provides a socially-active environment for children where they engage and develop their social skills. A teacher also creates an intellectually-stimulating environment for children where they can ask questions and search for answers. They hold books and learn to read well so they can tackle subjects independently.

If we aren't raising kids who know how to ask the right questions, who know how to find the answers, who know how to teach themselves, then, as Dorothy Sayers said in her essay on education, "...whatever instruction fails to do this is effort spent in vain." 

Online learning is effort spent in vain.

“Steve Jobs was not a proponent of tech in the classroom. His kids read real books. ”

— EYH

Even Steve Jobs was on to the problem with technology and children. Have you read his interview about it in the New York Times?

Lastly, let me briefly mention the ill effects of screen use on our physical, emotional, and intellectual health, according to the Mayo Clinic:

• Obesity

• Inadequate sleep schedules and insufficient sleep

• Behavior problems

• Delays in language and social skills development

• Violence

• Attention problems

• Less time learning

With attention problems also comes learning problems. Who’s fooling who?

“In a 2010 Iowa State University study published in the journal Pediatrics, viewing television and playing video games each are associated with increased subsequent attention problems in childhood.”

We know kids have died from blood clots after gaming for too long. We want to protect our kids from the habit of computer use until they are older when they can no longer avoid it. Hopefully, they'll be able to exercise sound judgment and self-control by then. 

When can we let our kids learn online?

We can let our kids learn online when we have exhausted all other options. 

Below the age of nine, I would not let my child near a computer. The brain is still in a crucial stage of development until a child reaches adolescence, when the brain does a self-pruning of any weak pathways. 

Age Nine

At nine, I would make an exception and let my child study Latin for half an hour online, one day a week. The rest of the week, I would do my best to help my child study, using the lessons for instruction and inspiration.

Age 13

Around the age of thirteen, if there were any subjects my child needed, such as more advanced mathematics, and I could not teach them, I would hunt high and low for a teacher.

I would try to find other homeschooling parents who might understand the subject and could teach my child. I might ask qualified neighbors or put an ad up in a local bookstore for a tutor. I would do everything I could to find a natural teacher.

“In a 2015 University of Utah School of Medicine brain imaging study published in the journal Addiction Biology, brain changes were measured in video gamers that are correlated with increased distractability, impulsivity (hallmarks of addiction and ADHD), schizophrenia and autism”

Once I had exercised all options, I might look online if I still could not find a teacher. But my goal would be to keep my child off the computer if I could help it, and if I could not help it, to restrict online learning as much as possible.

Age 16

If my child were older, say 16, according to my state's law, I might consider graduating him from high school and moving on to college or dual-enrollment in our local community college. 

College is our best option for an older child when in-person teachers are unavailable.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, I guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise intelligent children without computers. You can enroll using the link below and be confident knowing you can and will homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

Is Listening to an Audiobook Reading?

Are you impressed with adults who read 100 books or more per year? I was once, too, until one day, someone mentioned it was audiobooks that they were reading.

What?! Since when does listening to a book qualify for reading a book? There can be dangerous consequences to misusing language like this.

THE PROBLEM

Let's examine the problem. We'll start by defining what we mean by "reading a book."

Reading, as in what we teach children when they first go to school, is a skill that involves the eyes and both sides of the brain. Using our eyes, we look at the printed words on a page and decipher their meaning to understand what the writer is communicating.

"I read" is an action verb that says I am in the active state of reading a book using my sense of sight.

We have other grammatical uses for the word, such as in the gerund "a poetry reading." We also have the infinitive: "I went home to read." We can use the word metphorically as in “I read the writing on the wall.”

But to say that you read a book, as in the verb, “I read,” when you listened to the book is to use the word ambiguously. Using words ambiguously confuses the meaning, so we understand something to be what it is not or something to not be what it is.

Manipulating the use of language is the art and science of propaganda. Propagandists get people to believe things that are untrue by twisting and reframing language in a way that deceives us.

Not that there is an intent to deceive people about how many books someone read last year, but it is deceptive. Why do we have a separate term for blind people who read with their hands if it weren't?

When blind people read with their hands, we call it Braille, so we don't confuse it with reading using our eyes.

THE SOLUTION

If people want to "read" with their ears, it needs its own term to avoid confusion.

It would mislead people to say that our three-year-old read Peter Rabbit when we read the book to our child. When we watch a film based on a novel, we don't say we read the book. Before television, when people listened to books read over the radio, they didn't say they read the book. We would never listen to a podcast and say we read the podcast.

None of this would make sense if we did.

Why then is it suddenly okay to say something like, "I read The Power of Regret," when the truth is that I listened to Daniel Pink read it on Audible books? (It was a good listen!)

And then there’s the argument that some people are auditory learners and some people are visual learners. Yet, the Multiple Learning Styles has never been proven, and educated people have always read books. Skills are something we develop. Listening is a skill and so is reading.

“Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”

— P.J. O'Rourke

Here's the problem with replacing listening with reading: when half of the country's adult population cannot read at a sixth-grade level, stretching the concept of reading to include audiobooks will not help things.

When we believe listening to an audiobook is reading, we can deny having a literacy problem. You might ask, "What does it matter if we read with our eyes or listen with our ears? We are getting the same information."

It matters for a few reasons.

Language Matters

We have words with precise definitions to facilitate our communication with one another. If you use a word one way, and I am using it another, neither of us understands the other.

While you might argue that language naturally changes over time, it does, but not in ways that don't make sense.

I'd also love to boast reading 100 books a year, but it takes time to read a serious book. I could listen to 150 books in a year while cooking, cleaning, and driving, but reading Tacitus, that's another story.

Reading Matters

Some words come into vogue and go out of vogue, but the altering of reality concerns me. Saying we are reading when in fact, we are listening has its repercussions.

Regardless of how many people listen to audiobooks, Americans read less than the global average.

Our children need to learn how to read challenging books, and so do we. Competent reading is a skill we develop to gain access to the world of literature, both ancient and modern.

Skilled reading allows us to read original sources and conduct research, so we can think for ourselves rather than let others think for us. Reading fires up our brains much more than listening, so reading helps to keep our minds strong. Reading is a pleasant way to spend one’s leisure time. Reading makes us smarter by improving our minds. And what about the smell of a book, the feel of a book, the look of a book?

We have a lot of debate about language these days, but when we examine the cause for the disputes, it's because we ignore common sense.

If reading involves the eyes and listening involves the ears, then when we listen to a book being read by someone else, it is safe to say we are not reading it.

If listening is listening, then it can't be reading. If our Americans (and Brits) read below the global average, correcting the problem by listening to audiobooks will not fix it.

Free Download: Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, I guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise intelligent children of good character. You can enroll using the link below and be confident knowing you can and will homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

10 Inexpensive but Fun Summertime Activities for Kids

Summer is a great time for entertaining, exploration, and play, which all kids need plenty of (and so do we!).

I put together a list of ten inexpensive things (some are free) and easy for you to help your kids do, or at least help them get set up to do. If your kids are old enough, you can leave them to the "doing" part for some of these activities while you enjoy a good book, a short snooze, or catch up on folding laundry.

1. Neighborhood Recital

One thing we used to do and that our neighbors loved was to put on a piano recital. My kids and I would make high tea goodies such as little sandwiches and cakes, and we'd invite some of our neighbors for high tea and a concert.

They loved it! If your kids don't play a musical instrument, then a poetry recital is fun too. For the recital, you want them to memorize the piece, practice introducing them, teach them how to stand before the audience and make eye contact before they sit down to play or begin reciting, and then stand before the audience at the end before they leave the stage.

If you do a poetry recital, each child can recite a poem of their choice, and then you can invite the audience to share a poem. If you decide to open the stage for everyone, let your neighbors know ahead that they should come prepared to recite one of their favorite poems.

2. Make a Kite and Fly It

I used to buy somewhat expensive kites at our annual kite festival for my kids, but the best kites were the ones we had when I was young. They were simple to assemble and oh so easy to fly. You can help your kids make one from scratch (plenty of Youtube videos on this subject), or you can buy a kit from Amazon.

Assuming you have the kite parts, assemble the kite, use old sheets to make the tails, and head for a tall hill, without trees, on a windy day. Bring a picnic lunch as kite flying will keep your kids occupied for hours. In my town, we had a kite festival every year, and we used to have so much fun, which lasted the entire day.

3. Water Balloon Fights

Water balloon fights are the way to go during the summer. We used to have plenty of these too! All you have to do is buy the balloons, show your kids how to fill them, and let the fun begin.

4. Draw a Map on Your Driveway

Buy big colored chalk from your local art store, and let your kids draw a map of your country, the States, or the world, depending upon their age. You can also get a head start on their geography lessons for the next year!

5. Plant a Vegetable Garden

Even if you live in an apartment with only a tiny deck, get used to planting vegetables with your kids each year. If you have a little section of the yard, you can spare, that's even better. It's an incredible thrill for kids to grow their food and eat it; plus, it tastes so much better.

6. Start a Car Wash Service

Advertise car washes at a discount price in your neighborhood. Before you let your kids do this, teach them the etiquette of handling other people's cars. I once let a friend's older kids detail my car, only to find later that they had jumped on it and dented the hood.

One last thing, whatever supplies your kids will need, buy them new, give your kids the receipt, and make sure your kids pay you back from the money they earn. Having them pay for their supplies is a good lesson in business that you don't want them to miss.

7. Put on a Play

Have your kids practice and stage a play for family, friends, or neighbors on a warm summer night, outside if possible. They can make their costumes and any back drops they need for the staging part. Getting ready to stage and perform a play should keep them busy for weeks.

8. Collect and Paint Rocks

Rock painting is another great activity for kids. Take them on a hike in nature, and let them collect rocks. Buy paints specific for rock painting, and let your kids get to it. Painted rocks are great to use for paper weights or holding doors open, so let your kids devise creative ways to use them. Sometimes they just want to admire their work, and that's fine too.

9. Go Nature Hunting

Take your kids in the backyard or out in nature and help them identify trees on one day and birds on another. They can take leaves home and do an art/science project where they draw the leaves with colored pencils and title them according to the tree they belong to.

For the birds, they can do the same thing and learn to imitate the bird's song as well.

10. Roll Down Hills

We used to love this activity. We spent hours rolling down hills when we were young or even down my grandfather's lawn (he had a huge lawn on a downward slope). Rolling down hills is something all kids should be doing and that kids naturally love to do. If you can't model it for them, set it up like a competition where they see who can get to the bottom first.

Now, these hills should not be too high as you only want it to take about 30 seconds if I remember correctly.

But, it has been a long, long time since I rolled down hills!

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, I guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise intelligent children of good character. You can enroll using the link below and be confident knowing you can and will homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.